Collected Works of Frances Trollope

by Frances Milton Trollope

  From this point the conversation proceeded very amicably, the American lady judiciously mixing enough of worldly talk, to make her friendly overtures palatable to the as yet unregenerated neophyte, and the English one enduring the “monstrous bore” of her new friend’s talk, for the sake of having a fine acquaintance that seemed to think her of almost as much consequence as her mamma.

  CHAPTER XVIII.

  IT will not be irrelevant to this minute narrative of the Barnaby progress through the United States, to give a slight sketch of this new friend of Madame Tornorino, as it will help to explain the cause for which so sedate and elegant a personage as Mrs. General Gregory deemed it desirable to cultivate an intimacy with the young and blooming impudence of our Patty. She had, in truth, very strong reasons for it.

  As no race is so sharp as that which goes neck and neck from the starting to the winning post, so no rivalry is so keen as that which, in like manner, exists between two persons nearly equal at all points. Between the ladies of the two great Carolinian planters, General Gregory and Colonel Beauchamp, there was at their country residence near neighbourhood and considerable intimacy: and there was also, both in country and in town, a pretty constant, but even civil struggle, for superiority, in consideration and (as the Transatlantics expressively term it) in standing. When, having both of them passed the age of forty, the two wealthy possessors of two of the finest plantations and two of the finest gangs of slaves in South Carolina, united themselves in holy wedlock with two of the most celebrated beauties of Baltimore, the young ladies were installed in their respective mansions with a degree of first-rateness that was very dangerously equal; for it instantly gave birth to a rivalship, which had lasted ever since.

  The first atom of ground gained by either of these ladies in advance of the other, was on the part of Mrs. General Gregory, who unexpectedly announced, un beau matin to her friend and neighbour, that she had just completed an arrangement with one of the general’s French correspondents (a wholesale coffee-dealer), for his despatching to her, twice every year, a box of millinery direct from Paris.

  For a few months this blow was felt severely. It was vain that Mrs. Colonel Beauchamp appeared in the most elegant habiliments that Charlestown, New Orleans, Baltimore, or even New York itself could furnish; for it constantly happened upon her appearing before her neighbour with any article of dress which that lady had not before seen her wear, that an observation followed, accompanied with a multitude of obliging apologies, to the effect that she had that very morning received a letter direct, from her Paris milliner, to tell her that that particular article was completely out of fashion, and to warn her against any attempts on the part of the milliners of the United States, to pass such things off upon her as new.

  It is necessary to know the sensitive delicacy of feeling on such points which prevails among ladies of high standing in America, in order to conceive the severity of the trial to which the temper of Mrs. Beauchamp was exposed by this mode of proceeding. The first idea which occurred to her as suggesting the possibility of relief under it, was the opening a correspondence herself with a Parisian milliner; but unfortunately, Colonel Beauchamp’s coffee was all consigned to Liverpool, and he had no French correspondent whatever — no, not even so much as at Havre — who might assist in-favouring such a design. It was therefore after many vain attempts, finally abandoned, and the genius of Mrs. Beauchamp was called upon to devise some counter-current of superiority, which might enable her to shun the buffetings, and the bruises, which the high tide of her friend’s good fortune had brought upon her.

  Nor did the lady long meditate upon the subject in vain. She really was a clever woman, though on some particular subjects a little more vehement than reasonable; and upon everything relating to her “unequalled country,” as she always called it, and everything connected with its constitution, laws, customs, and peculiarities, from an abhorrence of monarchy to an adoration of slavery inclusive, she not only was vehement both in feeling and expression, but would have considered it a very grievous sin to be otherwise.

  People who, like Mrs. Beauchamp, think and speak, with more violence than profundity, are apt to attach value to their own powers of advocating whatever cause they espouse, and while the lady of Big Gang Bank was meditating at what point her powers of intellect or of fortune might best enable her to outshine the lady of Rice-Lawn Paradise, a certain thought darted into her head, which, had she been desired to explain it she would probably have called “a patriotic inspiration.”

  She suddenly remembered how her father, of honoured and blessed memory, had ceased not, morning, noon, or night, as long as life had bean lent him, to hold forth on the atrocious dishonesty and injustice (these specific accusations being the favourite stronghold of his clique) of all those who dared to impugn the holiness and the lawfulness of slavery. She remembered too, the love, the reverence, the gratitude, and the admiration with which he had ever been listened to by everybody, or at least by everybody whose love, reverence, gratitude, and admiration, she thought worth having; and from that moment of happy reminiscence, which occurred exactly three years after her marriage, down to the present hour, Mrs. Colonel Beauchamp had acquired the reputation of being the most thorough-going, out-and-out patriot, and right-down, first-rate smart woman in the Union.

  The result of this very brilliant success was speedily seen and painfully felt by Mrs. General Gregory: but she, too, as it seemed, had some kind, guardian spirit that watched over her destiny.

  Some of

  The light militia of the lower sky —

  who in all lands watch over the changeful little destinies of the ladies, led her from Rice-Lawn Paradise to the city of Baltimore, precisely at the moment when it was

  Glowing like furnace —

  from end to end, with the burning eloquence of a multitude of itinerant preachers, assembled there from all parts of the country, for the purpose of celebrating that very singular transatlantic solemnity, called “a Revival.”

  The same guardian sylph who had guided her in this propitious hour to Baltimore, guided her likewise into a fashionable chapel, where a fashionable preacher was assuring a multitude of fashionable ladies, that without the grace and comfort which he, and a few of his particular friends and brethren alone could give, they must all fall headlong into the bottomless pit.

  While listening to this much-admired gentleman, Mrs. General Gregory was greatly struck by the beautiful display of feeling with which many first-rate ladies came forward at his call, and placed themselves on “the anxious benches” set apart for all those who wished to distinguish themselves by such a fearless demonstration of piety as this act demanded. In truth, Mrs. General Gregory was like many other persons, very much struck by this edifying spectacle.

  She, too, wished to be distinguished, having, as we know, very particular reasons for it; and here (most providentially displayed to her) was a mode by which this earnest wish might be at once obtained. During the few moments of hesitation which followed the conception of this happy idea, she overheard the following remarks from some of the most elegantly-dressed ladies in the chapel, who fortunately happened to be placed immediately before her.

  “My!” exclaimed one of them, “if there isn’t Mrs. Governor Robson going right away for the anxious bench! That will make a pretty considerable noise, won’t it?”

  “Noise? I expect so, my dear,” was the reply; “and won’t she,” added the second speaker, “be more the thing than ever with all the highflyers! My! what a sight of parties she’ll be giving this Revival, I’ll engage for it; and what an unhandsome fix we should have got into, shouldn’t we, if we had taken it into our heads to stay away? We should have got no invites, you may be availed of that, I expect.”

  All this was uttered with very little restraint as to the tone of voice, for the noise produced near the anxious benches by the exhortations or the comfortings of the preachers prevented anything uttered in any other part of the chapel from being heard, exc
ept by those very near the speaker. Every word, however, was distinctly heard by Mrs. General Gregory, and every word produced effect.

  Before the same hour on the following day, she had been presented to the most celebrated of the reverend gentlemen who were at that time performing at Baltimore, and having with all due ceremony declared herself desirous of becoming one of his congregation, she was installed as “a sister” accordingly — appeared on the anxious bench a few days afterwards, and being a lady of large fortune, and particularly desirous of becoming —

  If not the first, in the very first line —

  soon became spoken of in all directions as one of the most shining lights which had been for a long time added to the temple of the new Jerusalem.

  For some time the excellent and exemplary Mrs. General Gregory had every possible reason to be satisfied with the effects of the course she had pursued; she became, in her turn, the centre of a circle, and felt herself fully as able to sustain a competition with Mrs. Colonel Beauchamp as she had ever been. But at length she had the sagacity to discover that “highly distinguished” as she was, Mrs. Beauchamp’s essays on the righteousness of slavery were listened to with more gusto by their mutual acquaintance, than her own little sermonettes on the righteousness of the elect; nor did the cause of this long remain a mystery to her. She saw plainly, in short, that the magnates of South Carolina were more inclined to sympathise with her rival’s enthusiasm than with her own; and from this time forward it would have been impossible for any one acquainted with all the circumstances of the case, not to have admired the skill with which she made head against the difficulties she encountered. Her conversation became a sort of curious mosaic, made up as it were with bits of black and white, and showed such a skilful mixture of Christian texts, with slave-holding principles, as could certainly be met with in no country of the world, save that of which she had the honour and happiness of being a citizen.

  But it answered perfectly; and if Mrs. Colonel Beauchamp was known among the best society of the Union, as a right-down, first-rate patriot lady, Mrs. General Gregory was equally renowned as toppermost among the right-thinking of the saintly party, who knew the duty they owed to the Stars and the Stripes too well not to make up their religious principles square with the same.

  It may in some cases be true that the native literati of America have no great reason to boast of the honours and profits accorded upon them in their own country, at least, before they have received the timbre bestowed upon them by the approbation of ours; but if they find readier and warmer welcome in other lands, the literati of other lands, en revanche, find in the United States a warmer welcome, perhaps, than anywhere else; it being quite sufficient for an individual to carry the name of author there, in order to insure him a buzz of celebrity from one end of the country to the other.

  No wonder, therefore, was it that Mrs. General Gregory, being in the position above described, should be desirous of sharing in the great Barnaby intimacy enjoyed by Mrs. Colonel Beauchamp; and when she discovered, as she did at the party of Mrs. Judge Johnson, that besides the authorship, there was the still nearer and dearer claim to friendship, which Mrs. Barnaby’s loudly proclaimed opinion on the great African subject gave her, there was nothing which she did not feel ready to do, and to say, in order to obtain a forward and conspicuous place in the good opinion of the family.

  No sooner, however, had Madame Tornorino become fully aware of the strongly pious propensities of her visitor, than her ardour to cultivate the acquaintance relaxed; and it is probable that she would not long have delayed betraying some symptoms of this, had not Mrs. General Gregory, either from anticipating this very natural result, or from yielding to her own native propensities, suddenly “changed her hand,” and led the discourse to gayer themes.

  “But, oh my!” she exclaimed, with a pleasant little laugh, “I must not keep on talking for everlasting this way about chapelgoing, and all that sort of thing, to a pretty young lady like you, Madame Tornorino, who in course must have your mind filled up as yet with plenty of other things — in part, you know, I mean, my dear — and that is all so very natural, that I can’t say I realise its being anywise improper. You will be pleased to remember, my dear, that my carriage and servants, and myself, too, will be quite at your service, Madame Tornorini, whenever you like to declare your congregation — and I’ll take you to the best seat in the chapel for seeing the company and the dresses, as well as for hearing that blessed vessel, Mr. Crawley, pour forth his balm: but if you like it better in the first place, I’ll be delighted to take you with me, and your honourable mamma too, if she’ll be pleased to go to a first-rate dancing-party to-morrow night, that the lady of our prime newspaper-writer of all this south part of the Union is going to give.”

  “Thank you, ma’am,” replied Patty, cheerily. “I should like it best of anything; that is, if you are going to be so kind as to ask my husband, Don Tornorino, too?”

  “Most certainly, my dear, I am. And will you go with me to chapel, next Sabbath?”

  Patty paused for half a moment before she replied, and her answer showed that she was improving rapidly in wisdom of all sorts.

  “Oh, dear! yes, certainly, ma’am. I suppose that is just the same as going to church in England, which is the best thing, I am sure, that one can do of a Sunday, because you know—”

  It was lucky, perhaps, that Mrs. Gregory’s general habit of making herself spokeswoman upon all religious subjects caused her to break: in at this point upon Patty’s speech, as it is possible that she might have completed it by adding—” there is no other place full of people to go to but when her new acquaintance did it for her, by saying —

  “I do, indeed, my dear — I do know that no place, except the heaven of heavens its blessed self, can be so good for Christians to enter as the chapels and churches of the saints,” Patty was discreet enough to answer —

  “Oh, yes; to be sure, ma’am, every one knows that of course adding, however, for the sake of a little useful information, “but you don’t seem to be too stiff to go to dances and parties, ma’am?”

  “Goodness forbid, I should, my dear!” replied the general’s lady. “I hold it to be exceedingly sinful to turn my back upon the weak and the sinning, just because I have made my own election sure. I am sorry and grieved to say that there are in the Union some professing Christians, and not a few, I am afraid, who act very differently. If you visit the eastern cities, you will find many such — but they are clearly benighted in their generation — and go about, it is dreadful to think of it, doing mischief instead of good; for it is the very same people as turn their faces away from their white fellow-creatures, as if they were not good enough for them, that go communing with the very people that wear God’s mark upon their skins. The black descendants of the wicked Cain, you know, my dear young lady, the horrid impure nigger slaves, that wear by nature the mark that ought to warn the people of God to turn away from them, and make them to labour from the rising up of the sun, even to the going down of the same, as the hand of the Lord points out.

  “But we of the south, Madam Tornorino, I am happy and blessed to say, know better. You will never hear of such abominations among the educated and elegant gentry of the slave-holding states — we are quite altogether a different people and population, as I hope your dear mamma will make manifest. And as to not going to balls and parties, my dear, I should blush to show any such weakness.”

  This last sentence, as every last sentence ought to do, left so pleasant an impression upon the mind of the person to whom it was addressed, that she remembered nothing which preceded it with displeasure; and when Mrs. General Gregory took her leave, Madame Tornorino was quite ready to declare that “though a bit of quiz in her talk now and then, she was upon the whole a most delightful woman, and that she should take good care to be-very intimate with her.”

  CHAPTER XIX.

  WHILE the visit of Mrs. General Gregory lasted, Mrs. Colonel Beauchamp continued in some sort to ke
ep watch over Mrs. Allen Barnaby, for the idea of her leaving her note-book for the purpose of receiving the civilities of the general’s lady, was very particularly disagreeable to the lady of the colonel, and she was determined not to quit her, till the danger was past. Nor was the keeping her, pen in hand, the only use which she made of this interval. She had pledged herself to several of the most important personages in the southern part of the Union that such a book should be written by her English friend on the country in general, and on the slaveholding states in particular, as had never yet appeared from the pen of any European traveller, and which would be calculated to do unspeakable good in every part of the world, as tending to put in a right point of view that which had hitherto been so repeatedly placed in a wrong one.

  Having proclaimed this, and received in consequence of it the most cordial thanks, and the warmest eulogiums on her patriotic zeal, it was become a matter of great personal importance to Mrs. Beauchamp, that Mrs. Allen Barnaby should lose no time in giving proof unquestionable, and evidence as clear as light, that she, Mrs. Beauchamp, had in no way misrepresented or exaggerated either the purpose or the power of this distinguished traveller. With this object, she determined, if possible, to induce her immediately to produce a specimen, sufficient to prove; first, that she really was employed in writing on the subject; and secondly, that her manner of treating it was what she had declared it should be.

  Hitherto all that Mrs. Allen Barnaby appeared to have done was the scribbling a few words, first on one page and then on another, of her new note-book. This had been performed in the presence of Mrs. Beauchamp; and though that well-educated lady felt that this was very likely to be the way in which books were really made, she felt that she should be better satisfied if she could see a sheet or two of full sized paper, written all over, and with a title at the beginning. This feeling, however, arose much less from any doubts she entertained respecting either the intentions or the capacity of Mrs. Allen Barnaby, than from an almost feverish impatience that the business should begin. Mrs. Beauchamp had a pretty considerable good opinion of her own ability, and she had no doubt whatever that if Mrs. Allen Barnaby would once set to work, there could be (as long as she continued near her) no doubt whatever of her producing precisely the sort of thing that was wished for. Hardly, therefore, had Cleopatra’s step ceased to clatter on the stairs, when the lady of the colonel thus addressed the lady of the major —