Secret Whispers

by V. C. Andrews

  “You’re still on these birth control pills, aren’t you?” he asked.

  I stopped walking. He approached slowly, his eyes wide with amazement and anger.

  “You went through my things?”

  “It was lying out on your vanity table.”

  I didn’t remember leaving it there. Had Cassie done that?

  “Well? Are you still using these?”

  “Yes,” I admitted.

  “Yes? Why? Why?” he shouted. “Why did you pretend you weren’t? All this time, Semantha, I’ve been talking about our having a child, and you’ve never said a word. You let me go on and on while you knew you were preventing it from happening. Why?”

  “We’re not ready yet.”

  I looked just past him at Cassie, who nodded.

  “We’re not? I’m certainly more than ready. Why aren’t we ready yet? It’s not a question of being able to afford children, and if you’re worried about caring for an infant or being bogged down, we certainly would have help.”

  “There are things that have to be done yet.”

  “What things? What are you talking about?”

  “Heaven-stone has to be restored,” I said. Cassie smiled and nodded. “The family has to be restored.”

  “What?” He took a step back as if I had something contagious. “I don’t understand what you’re saying.” He shook his head. “You’re not making any sense.” He looked at the birth control pills in his hand and then at me. “Lucille’s right. You need to return to serious therapy, Semantha. This makes me sick.”

  “If you loved me, really loved me, you would understand,” I said.

  “Try me. Explain it to me.”

  “She’s manipulating us, changing everything. Maybe you don’t even realize how much she controls you.”

  “Who? Lucille?”

  “What did she promise you, Ethan? What did she tell you she’d do for you if you returned to me?”

  “That’s crazy, Semantha. You know I fell in love with you, and you did fall in love with me, didn’t you? She couldn’t control that, could she?” He nodded. “You’re suffering from serious paranoia now. And look at what you’ve done to yourself, chopping off your hair. And this,” he said, waving the birth control pills. “This, while all along deceiving me.”

  He stared at me, his anger receding, his face relaxing as the rage left his eyes.

  “I shouldn’t yell at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry this is happening, but I’m not losing hope and my faith in you. I love you too much. We’ll get you the help you need, and we’ll start again. It will be all right. I do understand and I forgive you.”

  He put the birth control pills in his pocket and stepped forward to embrace me.

  “We’ll talk about it all later,” he said, and kissed my forehead the way a father would kiss his daughter.

  “Go pick out a bottle of wine and take it to the dining room,” I told him. “We’ll bring in our salads.”

  “We? I thought the De Stagens were off.”

  I smiled at him as if he were being silly and returned to the kitchen. While I was working in the kitchen, he obviously went to a phone to call my father and Lucille. Whatever he told them caused them to make their excuses and rush to come home. I saw by the way he was checking his watch and listening that he anticipated their arrival shortly. What puzzled me at first was that Cassie left the room almost as soon as he had entered.

  He smiled at me, but I could see he was quite nervous. He didn’t seem to know what he was eating and drinking. I ate slowly, enjoying every morsel.

  “Don’t you like your salad?” I asked, seeing how he was picking at it.

  “Oh, yes, it’s fine.” He smiled and gestured at me with his fork. “That skirt and blouse.”

  “Yes?”

  “They’re your sister’s clothes, aren’t they? I’ve never seen them in your closet.”

  “Yes, they are. We share things.”

  “Shared?”

  “Always. Not that my clothes would ever fit her and not that she liked them. We couldn’t share shoes, of course, but I wore her leather coat sometimes.”

  “Why did you put that on now, Semantha?”

  I thought about it. It was a good question. “I think I wanted to feel closer to her right now.”

  “So, you’ve forgiven her for what she did to you?”

  “I’ve always understood it without forgiving her, but I think my father’s forgiven her. That’s why I wanted to see my daughter, wanted her to know me.”

  “But now you understand that he doesn’t want that, right? It would create other problems.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “What does that mean, ‘we’ll see’ ? You’re not going to go back there, are you?”

  “No, not now,” I said.

  He looked at his watch.

  “There’s a light chiffon lemon cake for dessert.”

  “Good.”

  He returned to eating, now smiling at me almost every time we looked at each other. His growing nervousness almost made me laugh.

  “I’m all right, Ethan,” I said. “Don’t worry.”

  “Yes, you are all right, and you will be all right. We’ll take care of you, Semantha. I do love you.”

  “I hope so,” I said. “Just be patient. Everything will be fine.”

  He raised his eyebrows because I was talking to him as if he was the one who needed therapy. That almost made him laugh. He ate more vigorously and then helped me clean up the dishes. I prepared some coffee and brought it out with the cake. He was pacing in the dining room now and looking at his watch. He smiled at me and said he’d be right back. I watched him go out and hurry down the hallway to Daddy’s office. When he returned this time, he looked very concerned.

  I cut the cake and put a piece on his plate. Then I poured his coffee. He thanked me but didn’t start eating or drinking any coffee.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Huh? Oh, yes. Fine,” he said, and lifted his fork.

  When the phone rang, he leaped out of his seat and rushed into the kitchen, mumbling that he’d get it and I should relax. I sipped some coffee and tried the cake. It was delicious. Nothing Gerad made wasn’t, but I hated giving Lucille any credit. That was probably unfair to Gerad. It wasn’t his fault that he had been brought in to replace Mrs. Dobson.

  Before Ethan returned, Cassie entered the dining room.

  “Where were you?” I asked.

  “I just couldn’t stand the pathetic way you were defending yourself when he confronted you with the pills, making it seem as if he were the aggrieved party. Poor Ethan, poor, poor Ethan, isn’t getting what he wants as quickly as he wants it. Christmas trees.”

  She popped out of sight the moment Ethan came back from the kitchen. His face was pale.

  “What’s wrong, Ethan?”

  “I’ve got . . . we’ve got to leave immediately for the hospital,” he said.

  “What? Why?”

  He considered me a moment, looking as if he was afraid to say another thing, afraid of what it would do to me.

  “Tell me.”

  “We’ve got to go to the hospital. Get your coat. Your father and Lucille have been in a car accident.”

  I turned to see Cassie in the corner.

  She was smiling.

  Accident

  BY THE TIME we arrived at the hospital, Uncle Perry had already spoken with the doctors. He greeted us at the emergency-room entrance. He was distracted for a moment when he saw what I had done with my hair and what I was wearing, but he turned quickly to Ethan.

  “Teddy’s left arm is broken just below the elbow. It’s already in a cast,” he said. “The left side of his face was badly bruised, and his earlobe needed stitches. The driver’s door and window were bashed on impact, but if you saw the car, you’d wonder how anyone lived.”

  “What about Lucille?” Ethan asked.

  “Don’t know the extent of her injuries yet. She wasn’t wearing her seat belt
, apparently.”

  “Do we know exactly how this happened?” Ethan asked.

  “I spoke with the traffic officer who was on the site. Apparently, a truck moved into Teddy’s lane around a curve and slammed into the driver’s side of his car, sending it careening over the edge of the road, where it turned over a few times before landing upright. Fortunately, the truck driver didn’t flee the scene. He called for help immediately.”

  “Where’s Daddy?” I asked.

  “He’s in one of the examination rooms in emergency, Sam.”

  “Can we see him?”

  “Yes,” he said. “He’s conscious. C’mon.”

  Ethan reached for my hand, and we followed him through the lobby to a corridor. The emergency-room doctor and a nurse were standing in the hallway talking softly just outside the examination room. They turned as we approached, and Uncle Perry introduced us.

  “This is Mr. Heaven-stone’s son-in-law, Ethan Hunter,” Uncle Perry said. “And this is his daughter, Semantha.”

  “Dr. Morris,” the doctor said. “He’s resting comfortably now. X-rays show a slight concussion. His left arm was broken. We didn’t see any tear in his shoulder, but it’s taken a hard blow and twisting. Fortunately, he had his seat belt on and didn’t get thrown about during the rollover, or he would have had far worse injuries, maybe fatal.”

  I glanced through the door and saw Daddy dressed in a hospital gown and lying on a gurney. I could see his eyes had already begun to turn black and blue.

  Ethan nodded, looked at me, and then, holding his breath, asked, “Any more news about Mrs. Heaven-stone?”

  “Well, as I’ve told your uncle, apparently, she wasn’t wearing her seat belt. She’s suffered some severe head injuries, I’m afraid. She’s in intensive care. Dr. Neuberger has been called in to examine her. He’s our top neurological surgeon.”

  “She’s unconscious?”

  “Oh, yes. They may or may not have decided to operate by now. I’ll call up for you,” he added, and looked at me with great sympathy. “Sorry,” he said.

  “She’s not my actual mother,” I said. The moment I said it, Ethan released his grip on my hand and gave me a severe look of disapproval.

  “Does Mr. Heaven-stone know the extent of Mrs. Heaven-stone’s injuries?” Ethan asked.

  “He knows as much as we know at the moment, yes. You can go in to see him,” he added, glanced again at me, and then walked off with the nurse.

  Ethan, Uncle Perry, and I entered Daddy’s room slowly. He had his eyes closed.

  “Ethan and Sam are here, Ted.”

  “Hey, Dad,” Ethan said softly.

  Daddy opened his eyes. He looked at him and shook his head.

  “What a horrible mess,” he said. Then he turned to me and for a moment looked terribly confused.

  “Hi, Daddy.”

  “Semantha?”

  “I’m sorry you were in a terrible accident, but I’m glad you’ll be all right.”

  He simply stared at me and then looked at Ethan, who nodded at the silent thoughts that passed between them.

  “I should have waited and not called you,” Ethan said. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s not your fault. We weren’t going that fast. The driver of that truck told the investigating officer that something blinded him, a flash of light. They’re checking to be sure he wasn’t drinking. I saw no flash of light. We nearly missed going head-on. Who knows? Maybe that would have been better. You know about Lucille?”

  “We don’t know any details. Dr. Morris is calling up for us.”

  “Good,” Daddy said. He looked at me again.

  “Why did you cut your hair like that, Semantha?”

  “I felt I needed to,” I said. He closed his eyes. “Do your injuries hurt?”

  “Yes,” he said. “They’re not giving me anything strong for pain just yet because of my concussion. I’m such a fool. Lucille wanted us to use the limousine, but I decided to drive us. I don’t know why,” he said. “I don’t know why. I usually worry about having too much to drink. What was in my head?”

  Cassie, I thought. Cassie whispered to you. She was in your head.

  “It doesn’t sound like you could have prevented the accident, but why wasn’t Lucille wearing her seat belt?” Ethan asked him.

  “She was, but the clasp must have snapped open under pressure, so they think she wasn’t wearing it, but the car beeps when someone doesn’t put his or her belt on, so I know she was. I guess that doesn’t make any difference now.” He grimaced with pain.

  “Take it easy, Teddy,” Uncle Perry told him. He turned to Ethan. “Maybe we should let him rest.”

  Ethan nodded and then, out of the corner of his eye, saw Dr. Morris standing in the hallway. The doctor gestured for Ethan to step out.

  “Let me see what’s happening with Lucille,” Ethan said.

  “Yes, go on,” Uncle Perry said. He put his arm around me. We both looked at Daddy. “Everything will be all right, Sam. He’s going to be fine.”

  I nodded. Uncle Perry looked into the hallway. Ethan was now beckoning to him.

  “I’ll be right back,” he told me.

  I moved closer to Daddy and took his hand. He opened his eyes and looked at me again.

  “Those aren’t your clothes. Those are Cassie’s clothes, aren’t they? Why are you wearing Cassie’s clothes?”

  “I felt a need to be close to her,” I said.

  “So you tried to make your hair look like her hair, too?”

  “Yes. Cassie is still with me, Daddy,” I said. “I’ve been trying to tell you that.”

  He just stared at me a moment and then closed his eyes.

  “She’s here with you, too, Daddy.”

  He shook his head and then opened his eyes when Ethan and Uncle Perry returned with the doctor.

  “It’s not good, Dad,” Ethan said. “There’s too much brain damage. She’s already on life support.”

  “I’ve made some calls and sent for another opinion, Ted,” Uncle Perry said, “but this neurologist has a very good reputation.”

  Daddy groaned, closed and opened his eyes. The doctor stepped up to the bed and began explaining it all in more detail, describing the areas of the brain that were injured. I backed away slowly and then saw that Cassie was in the hallway. I looked at Ethan and Uncle Perry, who were paying close attention to what the doctor was saying, and I went out to her. There was no one else in the hallway.

  “You did this,” I said. “You caused that flash of light, didn’t you? You caused the truck driver to hit them.”

  “ I couldn’t depend on you. The way you were going would soon cause you to lose all credibility. Tomorrow you would have been committed, and Lucille would have become Queen of Heaven-stone. Now there’s nothing to fear.”

  “But you could have hurt Daddy even more. Look how injured he is.”

  “I had to make it look good, didn’t I?” she said. “He’ll be fine now.”

  “What are you doing?” Ethan asked, coming out to me. His eyes were open wide. He looked up and down the hall as if he had missed someone. “Why did you come out here?”

  “I hate to see Daddy in pain and so sad. He was sadder when my mother died, of course,” I quickly added, “and also when Cassie died.”

  “This is a devastating tragedy, Semantha. He’s lost a second chance for happiness, and he was happy, very happy.”

  “We’ll make him happy again,” I said. I looked for Cassie, but she was gone.

  “Your uncle and I are taking your father up to Lucille. She’s in the ICU. They’re bringing us a wheelchair. Then we’ll be taking him home. The family doctor’s been notified and will be at the house—Dr. Moffet. He’s bringing a nurse to stay with your father tonight. She’ll be sure he’s made comfortable.”

  “Yes, Dr. Moffet,” I said, smiling. “Good.”

  “Maybe it’s best that you wait in the lobby and not go up with us to see Lucille,” he suggested.

  “
That’s fine, yes. I’ll wait in the lobby.”

  He returned to Daddy’s bedside, and I found my way to the lobby. It was very crowded, but there was an open seat next to a thin African American lady with stark white hair who was just staring blankly. She glanced at me when I sat.

  “My father was in a car accident,” I said.

  “Sorry. My granddaughter has epilepsy. She had a bad seizure. My daughter’s with her. It’s the third time we’ve been here this month.”

  “How terrible.”

  “Yes. Everything’s more horrible when it happens to little people.”

  She turned away and continued staring at the floor. She had the look of someone who wasn’t hearing or seeing anything, but after another few moments, she turned back to me.

  “How is your father? Hurt bad?”

  “Banged up, broken arm, and a slight concussion, but he was lucky.”

  “He was by himself?”

  “No. My stepmother was with him,” I said. “She has severe head injuries. She may not live.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  “It wasn’t my father’s fault,” I said. “A truck swiped the side of his car, and he was forced off the road.”

  “Oh.”

  “But it wasn’t the truck driver’s fault, either.”

  She looked at me strangely and then returned to staring ahead.

  I looked around to see if Cassie would reappear, but she seemed to be gone. When she had said, “Now there’s nothing to fear,” she made it sound as if she was saying good-bye. Surely, she wanted to be sure that Daddy was really all right, that everything would be. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the wall behind me. The sound of conversations became a low murmur. I felt a tightness in my body loosen until I was very relaxed. Somehow I fell asleep.

  I woke when Ethan shook my shoulder.

  “Hey,” he said. “You all right?”

  For a few seconds, I couldn’t remember where I was. Then it all came crashing back. The woman who had been sitting beside me was gone and replaced by a teenage boy who had a bandage around his head. There was a large bloodstain on the bandage. There seemed to be quite a few more people waiting as well.

  “We’re taking your father home now, Semantha. Uncle Perry is getting him into the car. Let’s go,” he urged.