Damien’s Dilemma

by Cohen, Julie K.

  Her hand tightened in his as they reached the lake. Most of the shifters had already shed their clothing but hadn’t shifted.

  “What are they waiting for?” Tess asked.

  Hayden stepped up beside her. “Alpha always shifts first, so he can watch over the others as they shift, when they’re most vulnerable.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  Frank chuckled. “Damien, sweet? Hah!”

  “Just guard her while I’m leading the pack,” Damien said as he glared at Frank.

  “You’re not going to stay with me?”

  He heard the unspoken words “while I try to shift” in her question. She was nervous. Standing by her, waiting for her to shift would only add pressure, especially with over one hundred pairs of eyes watching and waiting. It would be better to draw the pack’s attention away from her, so she could relax and focus.

  “You’ll be fine with Frank.” Damien gave her hand a quick squeeze. He really wanted to kiss her hard and long, but right now, with how nervous she was, that might only add pressure.

  “Are you sure about this?” Hayden asked as he accompanied Damien down to the water’s edge. The din of shifters talking nearby increased as the area grew thick with males and females stripping down in preparation for the run.

  Damien eyed the area, taking in all the shifters socializing, bullshitting. He sensed an undercurrent of anger as few shifters met his eyes. “Stopping the Running or handing it over to you would only shake the pack’s confidence in me and remind them of her presence. They already see her as an outsider. I won’t give them anything additional to hold against her.”

  “Bringing her here when she can’t shift was a mistake,” Hayden said, his usual compassion missing.

  Damien really needed to have a long talk with Hayden to see what was going on with him lately. First, he needed to contend with his pack.

  “When she doesn’t shift, the pack will be convinced she’s human,” Hayden added.

  “Leaving her out of the Running is the same as saying I’m giving up on her. I won’t treat her as human. I don’t care if it takes thirty years, I’ll wait for her wolf to show herself.”

  They both stripped and shifted. One by one, the rest of the pack shifted. The weaker ones were struggling, as usual, but they shifted in time. His eyes scanned the sea of black, brown, silver, tan, and white fur. There, off to the side, only one shifter remained standing on two legs, green eyes filled with unshed tears.

  * * *

  TESS

  Please, please, please let me shift! Tess begged her wolf, or any divine entity willing to listen. She could swear she heard a small whimper somewhere within her.

  Like a wave starting where Damien’s wolf stood tall and proud, the men and women shifted into exquisite wolves. With thick, shiny coats and ears that turned at the slightest noise, these wolves were in great condition. Alert and one with the woods around them and each other. This is what she missed, being part of a pack. Instead, she was isolated in a body that wouldn’t do what it remembered doing, what it used to take for granted.

  The rate of shifting in the pack slowed considerably, as the wolves at the front waited for the shifters in the outer ring. The shifters on the fringe struggled. Their cries could be heard as well as the sounds of their bones popping, breaking, and shifting. Muscles rippled and reshaped from human to wolf. Watching the pain the weaker shifters endured prompted vivid memories of when her torturers had kept her in mid-shift, the state between human and wolf. Strong shifters never felt the pain of mid-shift, because they shifted so quickly. If they felt anything at all when shifting, it was a mere twinge. Her torturers had kept her locked in mid-shift, magnifying the pain a hundred times.

  Tess felt weak in the knees, but she took a deep breath and refocused on the shifters by the lake. She had never seen a weak shifter shift before, and it was an odd sight to behold. Like they were part of some horror flick, their faces elongated, and long teeth emerged where blunt ones had been before. Even as the last shifters dropped to all fours and fur sprouted from their backs and spread down through their flanks to finally cover arms and legs, their whimpers and cries echoed through the clearing. Yet the shifters persisted. Whether out of loyalty to Damien or the need to feel the freedom and pleasure of running as one with the pack, she couldn’t say. She both pitied them for the excruciating agony they endured and envied them. At least they could shift.

  Damien’s snout lifted to the sky, and he released a howl that made her want to sing with him, to once again feel the joy as a song starting deep inside her, rumbling through her throat only to be released to the skies above.

  She felt a twinge within her, as if she could shift. Even as she closed her eyes and listened to Damien, hope kindled anew. Nothing happened. Nothing what-so-ever. No wolf inside of her to hear, let alone answer his call.

  As Damien’s howl died down, a tremendous roar shook the valley. As one, his pack answered his call. And then they ran, with Damien in the lead. She marveled at the sight, never having seen so many wolves run together. Streaks of black, orange, brown, tan, silver, gray and white raced into the woods, leaving her alone with only Frank at her side. His wolf stood beside her, faithful, alert, and clearly envious of those running with the pack.

  “You can go with them,” Tess said.

  Frank’s wolf laid down beside her, watching the last of the pack, the slowest ones, as they disappeared into the night. Tess looked up at the full moon, wishing the tall tales of people turning into wolves solely from the power of the moon were true. The moon held nothing more than light by which to run.

  Awed by the majesty of the moon, Tess realized her outlook was skewed. It wasn’t her body that needed to change but how she viewed the world and herself. She hadn’t been left behind. The pack had simply left. Following, becoming a part of the run, was up to her. The others couldn’t stop her. Only she could do that, and she wasn’t ready to give up.

  Run. She could still run.

  She started out slowly, unsure of what she was doing. Even if her stamina held out, there was no way she could reach the pack. On her heels, the tan wolf followed, then he pulled into the lead by a few feet, to guide her. She could see him scenting the air, tracking the pack, though the hundreds of paw prints on the ground were easy enough to follow. Unlike her pack, the wolves up here had learned to rely on all their senses, as it should be. She missed her dad, and especially Lily.

  Tess pushed all her grief and frustration into the run. Her leg muscles burned, and her feet were hurting, but even running in human form held a freedom she hadn’t felt in a while. Not the same type of freedom as when her wolf would run, but not too different. She was higher up, slower, didn’t adjust to the rocks and twigs sliding under her feet quite as well, but she could feel the cool, night air strike her skin as a gentle breeze sifted through her hair. The sounds of the woods were the same as she remembered from her childhood, even if she couldn’t hear as far. And while she couldn’t see as far as her wolf, she could see all the colors of the woods. Cool air struck her lungs, making her feel alive. To her surprise, she felt at peace, for the first time in a while, and she understood why. She was running toward a goal instead of letting the loss of her wolf weigh her down.

  A set of yellow eyes peered out from the trees ahead. Then another set, brown, and another set, more gold, blocked the path ahead. She didn’t slow as the wolves emerged from the trees. She had had enough of being intimidated.

  One growl from Frank, and the wolves cleared a path. Taking his cue from her, Frank continued running even as more wolves appeared, all heading back to their homes. Soon, there were dozens on either side of her. She felt like a salmon swimming upstream against a current made of wolves, some of whom snarled.

  They didn’t want her here. Then she heard a howl in the distance. Damien. A pleasant shiver spread through her, as she remembered his breath on her neck, his gentle whispers in her ear, and how he’d leapt to free her from Frank’s grip when Damien had f
eared for her. He held her close when she was injured and not sure if she could go on. He had never given up on her. She would not let these other shifters stop her and keep her from reaching him.

  With newfound energy, Tess surged down the path past Frank and into the crowd of wolves. They’d either part for her, or she’d run them over, but she wouldn’t let them stop her.

  She could see Damien in the distance, standing on a cliff. His silver coat undulated with the wind as gray eyes swept over her. Every part of her body lit up, remembering his touches, his kisses, how he looked at her with such passion and desire. The excitement at seeing him gave her an energy she didn’t know she had. She pushed herself, running harder and faster, as fast as she could without her wolf. Nothing mattered except reaching him, proving that even if she was weaker and slower than the weakest of the pack, she was no less worthy.

  That’s when something hard and fast slammed into her from the side.

  * * *

  DAMIEN

  Damien found it exceedingly hard to watch his entire pack shift while Tess remained in human form. The pain of not being able to shift, the longing to join and run alongside his pack, showed on her face, but there was nothing he could do for her. He had to be the pack’s alpha, then he could return to and console her.

  He howled to the moon and the skies over his territory, reaffirming his pack’s claim, but inside he howled for Tess, laying his silent claim to her. He wanted nothing more than to shout his claim to his pack, the world, but she wasn’t ready.

  A silent snarl from Blade behind him refocused Damien on the run and the wolves standing in front of him. The lake’s water lapped at the shore as the wind picked up. If he wanted his pack to be cohesive, healthy, and loyal, he needed to lead. They returned his call, their howls a thunderous beast charging through the trees.

  With one last glance at the shifter who not only stirred the man but calmed his wolf, Damien broke into a run, leading the pack. Strong and weak alike followed. It didn’t matter that the weak had taken longer to shift or that even now they lagged behind the stronger wolves, they were all part of the pack, all responsible for one another, all equally important. And yet Tess was not among them. His pack was incomplete without her.

  As was traditional, he found a high spot above where he ended the run, and waited for each wolf to arrive, then bow his or her head in submission. After, the wolves turned and headed to their homes. The wolves arrived in groups, typically: the strongest first and, eventually, the weakest. He waited for every last shifter to reach the canyon, fold his ears back and lower his head.

  With the last wolf turning to go home, Damien’s ears caught a sound of someone approaching. The cadence was wrong for a wolf.

  Tess’s scent floated in the wind, reaching him seconds before she emerged through the trees. His Tess, followed by Frank’s wolf, had been running, bringing up the rear of his pack. Long after the weakest wolves had reached Damien, she approached, undeterred and unstoppable. Never had he seen such devotion, such beauty, as Tess running toward him.

  Light-green eyes searched the cliff and found him. The smile on her face said it all. She had staked a claim, proved her mettle to herself, to him, to his pack. Human or wolf, she would not be left behind.

  As she waved to him, the wind shifted, and he caught the scent of an outsider. He lifted his head to sound the alarm, and that’s when a wolf blindsided Frank and plowed into Tess, taking her over an embankment.

  Frank was the first on scene, already searching the dark depths below when Damien raced down the embankment to search for her. He didn’t see or smell either Tess or the wolf who’d attacked her. The heavy scent of skunk masked their odors. They could be anywhere, in the water or down river.

  “Where are they?” Damien yelled at Frank, who’d shifted so they could speak.

  “I don’t know!”

  “Go north, I’ll go south.” Damien shifted and scented the air, the ground, the trees. There was no sign of her. He spotted drag marks of a body alongside a set of large wolf prints. From the distance, wolves called out to him. His guards were coming. Damien took off, following the tracks, leaving Frank behind to organize the others when they arrived. He followed the tracks a few hundred yards, until the prints disappeared in the water.

  * * *

  TESS

  Tess awoke in what appeared to be a cave. She was wet, and her entire right side felt as if someone had slammed her against a wall. No, a wall had slammed into her. She remembered now, a huge pure white wolf, similar to Hayden, except it wasn’t Hayden. After that, she didn’t remember what happened, such as how she ended up in a cave.

  Fortunately, the full moon provided her with plenty of light.

  Tess made her way to the edge of the cave.

  A naked man with dark-black hair blocked the entrance. Well-toned muscles covered every inch of his body. His overly corded arms and thighs were a perfect balance to the hard planes of his chest and thickly muscled neck. He backed Tess against a wall, and she sucked in a breath, afraid to breathe or move.

  “Submissive. I like that,” he said as he dragged a finger over her lips and down between her breasts.

  Tess froze. She didn’t know what to say that would appease him, and escape wasn’t likely, not with her inability to shift.

  “I’ve already been claimed,” she said, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

  He leaned in and sniffed by her ear, then along her arms, down along her body until he stopped at the apex of her thighs. “There is no other scent on you.” He sniffed again. “But I like what I smell, very much.”

  “Please, let me go.”

  “Why should I?”

  “I don’t belong to you.”

  “We could change that,” he said as he pressed his cock against her and kissed her.

  She bit his lip, and he pulled away bloody, with a snarl and a hunger in his eyes. “What are you? You’re not human, and you’re not shifter.”

  “I’m shifter.”

  He sniffed again. “Human.”

  Tess couldn’t help the strangled cry. It was not a proclamation she wanted to hear on top of being trapped. He’d use then dispose of her. “Who are you?” she braved at last.

  “Does it matter?”

  “I just want to know the name of the person whose death will follow my own.”

  “You think I want to kill you, kitten?”

  “I’m no one’s kitten.”

  “But you are someone’s toy, are you not?”

  “Fuck you.”

  “Careful with your words, kitten, I may do as you ask.”

  “If you touch me, your scent will be all over me, and my alpha will track you down and kill you.”

  “That would be true, if you were a shifter.”

  “Why else was I at a Running of the Moon? I was running with my pack, you idiot!” She had been helpless and at the mercy of the WSSO long enough. The humans had overpowered her, but this was a shifter. She should be able to convince him of what she was, even if she couldn’t shift.

  “Very few insult me to my face and live. In fact, none have insulted me and lived.”

  “You’re in Damien’s territory. Be very sure about what you’re doing, mutt.”

  “The name’s Drake, and we’re no longer in Damien’s territory, kitten. We’re in mine.”

  Chapter Ten

  DAMIEN

  Damien couldn’t keep his focus on what Drake was saying. They’d met at the agreed-upon time, at a clearing that was on his land but abutted both Liam’s and Drake’s territories. The location would make retreating easy for all of them, should the meeting descend into anarchy as so many in the past had. He wanted to be out there, with Frank, Blade, and Hayden, searching for Tess. Hayden had been the one to convince him to go forward with the meeting because it was too important to all of them, including Tess. If the WSSO continued on its path unchecked, there’d be no wolf shifters left in North America inside of five years.

  “I hav
e a present for you.” Drake was being condescending as ever and clearly had no interest in talking about how to handle the WSSO.

  Damien needed to be out there, searching for Tess, not standing here while Drake irritated Damien’s wolf to the point where he might lose control and attack the other alpha. Hell, Liam hadn’t even bothered to show. Not that Liam was always the easiest to deal with either, but he often mediated between Damien and Drake. “I don’t need presents, Drake. I need answers about the WSSO, and what they’re doing in that lab outside of Boulder.”

  “And you think I know?” Drake had that mischievous grin about him that always annoyed the hell out of Damien.

  “I think you have more shifters undercover in the general population than anyone else. And yet, you’re not sharing information with other packs, shifters who are on your side.”

  “No one is on my side, especially him.”

  Damien didn’t have to turn around. He smelled Hayden approaching from behind, and nothing got Drake’s hackles up like the presence of his own brother.

  “You speak to me, not him,” Damien said, asserting his role of alpha and his right to protect his second.

  “Your uncle only let him enter the pack to gain information on me. Now he’s dead. Time to rid yourself of the rotting piece of filth you call a second,” Drake said as his eyes snapped back to Damien. “Now, do you want your present? I find I’m still in a good mood despite the stench coming from behind you, Damien.”