“Hmm...” the woman said. “That’s quite a story you’ve told in only a few words there.”
“You notice she only really told you about one of them. Right?” Charlie said.
Rhiann closed her eyes and sighed. “Charlie...” she warned.
“She only told you about one because she barely saw the other one. I was only teasing about her having the two of them after her. Even if poor Clay was interested he doesn’t stand a chance—not standing next to Patrick.”
“It sounds like there are a lot of strong emotions on both sides,” the elderly lady said wisely.
“Hate is definitely a strong emotion,” Rhiann agreed.
“Except hate is not what that man’s feeling for you.”
“Shut up, Charlie.”
Charlie laughed from the front of the rig. “She got a little emotional and he nearly launched himself across the room to comfort her. Couldn’t help himself—he just had to touch her. That’s not how a man reacts to someone he can’t stand. Even if he hasn’t admitted to himself that he’s got feelings for her, let me tell you, he’s got them.”
“My mama, God rest her soul, always used to say you couldn’t have hate without love,” said their patient. She shifted on the gurney. “I believe that’s true. Maybe the boy had to hate you so he could see how much he loves you now.”
Rhiann shook her head. “You’re as bad as Charlie, aren’t you?” She ignored the hope that was trying to blossom in her heart like a stray flower in the crack of a city sidewalk. “I’m going to tell you what I tell him—and that’s that I don’t have time for romance. There’s no room in my life for a bunch of hopes and dreams I have no control over. The only man I have room for in my life is my son, and I don’t need anyone else.”
“Pshaw! You’re too young to be so jaded.” She reached out and grasped Rhiann’s hand.
“He shut me out entirely—told me to stay out of his life. Not only that, but he shook my faith in my own abilities. I gave up a job I loved to better be able to avoid him. If I’m jaded, there are plenty of reasons,” Rhiann said quietly.
“Well, you met me, though, so that was fate,” Charlie argued. “But I’m telling you true: that man might have some hate for you, but there’s something far deeper peeking out when he looks at you.”
“Listen to an old lady and don’t let a chance at love pass you by. You might get burned—but what if you don’t?”
Rhiann held the woman’s hand, closing her eyes before tears made it to the surface. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
“You have his cell number, right?” Charlie asked.
“Yes...”
“Call him.”
The old woman made a tsking sound. “That’s a bit forward. Perhaps you could send him one of those little messages on his phone, though. Just something small.”
“Oh, yeah, a text might be better,” Charlie agreed. “Ask him how his surgery went. How many kids that donor saved. I bet he’s found out since you mentioned it.”
“I don’t know about this...”
Rhiann swallowed hard. Patrick had made his position clear, and while he had shown hints of the friend she’d lost he was still ice-cold in most of their interactions. What if she pushed too far and he refused to help Levi as a result?
“Text him.” Charlie’s voice got gruff and his words came out like orders. “Go on.”
“Yes, dear—go on.” The elderly lady smiled at Rhiann. “I insist.”
“Peer pressure doesn’t end in high school, does it?”
Rhiann pulled her phone out and tapped in a message, asking if Patrick had found out how many lives the donor had saved. Surely such a simple follow-up question wouldn’t be too upsetting?
She shoved the phone back into her pocket, her cheeks warming as she blushed. “There. Done. And when he ignores me I’m going to come over and tell you about it.”
“I’d love to have you visit—even if it is just to say I told you so.”
Rhiann’s heart softened at the hope in her patient’s voice. She squeezed the elderly woman’s hand. “My son has some health issues that make taking him out much a little dangerous right now, so I can’t make any promises. But I’ll do my best to visit when I can.”
Charlie volunteered to visit on occasion too, and they passed the rest of the ride in simple small talk that took some of the pressure off Rhiann.
They’d dropped the patient off and were sitting around at the station house when Patrick’s response came.
Six lives saved. Heart, lungs, kidneys to two
patients, liver, and pancreas.
She held the phone close to her heart and tried not to tear up. Not just because six lives had changed for the better that day, but for the family whose world was now shattered.
“That your doc?” asked Charlie.
She wiped at her eyes. “I told you before—he’s not mine.”
“Yet.” Charlie winked as he went to clock out. “Keep texting him and he might be.”
CHAPTER FOUR
Patrick
PATRICK WAS MID-SHAVE when his phone buzzed. He finished quickly and wiped the last of the shaving cream from his face with a towel. As he was walking through to the bedroom, to get dressed for a long appointment-filled day at the office, he unlocked his phone and checked the incoming message.
He couldn’t help but smile as he pulled up a picture of Levi, sleeping peacefully. The smile faded quickly when he read the accompanying caption.
He sleeps. I stay up and worry.
Patrick hit reply, concern for his former best friend bounding up over the ever-present animosity.
How long has it been since you have slept through the night?
He sat on the edge of his bed for several minutes, waiting for a reply that didn’t come.
After several minutes had passed, with no response, he finished dressing and packed his laptop and chargers into his bag.
His phone buzzed with Rhiann’s reply as he was getting into his car.
Oh, probably not since his birth.
He needs you to take care of yourself properly and that means sleep.
Then fix him for me so I don’t have to worry that he won’t wake up.
Patrick sank into the leather seat and scrubbed a hand across his face. Even in a text message, her worry for that little boy came through loud and clear. And now he was worrying about her. While he’d tried not to see it, tried not to care, he’d noticed she looked like she wasn’t sleeping, most likely not eating right either.
Rhiann was putting all her energy into caring for her son, but who was caring for her?
I’ll do my best. Heading into the office now. You working today?
Patrick drove to his office, ignoring the buzzing of his phone while the car was moving. As soon as he’d put the car in “park,” he snatched up the phone with a speed that would embarrass him when he thought back on it later.
Currently sitting at the station waiting on the guy filling in for Charlie, who is running late. I hate lateness. It’s like my biggest pet peeve.
Patrick laughed as he stared down at the screen.
Says the girl who was late to first period at least three days a week in senior year?
You would know. You made me late most of those days.
Patrick grinned down at the phone, remembering back to high school. He had tried so hard to impress Rhiann back then, when he’d been all gangly teenage awkwardness and she had been the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.
From the day he’d walked into third period Biology, after transferring his freshman year, and the teacher had assigned him to sit next to a tiny blonde with a wide smile that had sent his fourteen-year-old heart into orbit with his first real crush, Rhiann had been the most important person in his life. He had wanted her love almost as much as he’d wanted ai
r to breathe.
It hadn’t been meant to be. But their friendship had been his rock for so long. It had got him through his gawky years. It had kept him grounded when he’d finally matured into a frame that had drawn more female attention than he’d known how to handle.
Rhiann had been at his side, laughing at his sad attempts at flirting, turning him down gently when he’d occasionally worked up the courage to ask her out. Each time she’d hug him tight and whisper, “Losing you as my best friend would break me. I could never risk it.”
Had the fracturing of their friendship contributed to her current fragile state?
He leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes. Was he partially to blame for the shadows under her eyes and the thinness of her frame?
Despite his mental determination not to care about what happened to her, his heart was not so hardened to her plight. And the fact that he was softening toward her was tearing him up inside. She’d cost him everything. Why couldn’t he keep that focus at the front of his mind?
When he replied to her message he kept the tone light, away from the dark depths where his thoughts had gone.
If you were late because of me it’s because you distracted me until I couldn’t think, woman!
I would never distract anyone! I’m innocent! One hundred percent!
Lies, all lies! I gotta go examine sick kids now. Tell me something funny to distract me from the sad reality of my day.
What he’d told Rhiann was true. His job could be sad. Very sad. All those little ones with hearts that didn’t pump properly. Hearts that had holes. Hearts that had just plain failed.
After losing his own daughter, he had put up walls that kept him from caring about another child. He couldn’t risk the pain ever again. And he hated it that Levi and Rhiann were finding cracks in those walls.
But at the same time he couldn’t bring himself to put the distance back between them. Despite Rhiann’s objections, he could have passed Levi’s case over to Clay. He could have. Perhaps even should have. But he hadn’t.
He got out of the car and headed in. The receptionist and office staff were already in. They always got there before he did, to open the office and prep the exam rooms for the day. He waved distractedly at one of his nurses when she greeted him as he walked down the hall to his office. He dropped his bag on the table and went to the break room in search of coffee.
After pouring a cup, he was enjoying the dark brew when his phone buzzed again. He pulled it out of his pocket and nearly choked on the hot liquid when he read Rhiann’s words.
Well, we just left the local elementary school, where we had to extract a little guy from a chair. Got a panic call from the teacher. Get there and the little dude is totally chilling, eating a snack one of the other kids got him, while the adults are running in circles around him.
How did he get stuck in a chair?
On his knees in the seat, apparently. Slipped through the hole in the back and couldn’t come back through. His belly got stuck.
Wow. That’s just...wow.
“And just who are you texting and smiling at so intently this early?” Clay asked, an all-knowing grin on his face.
“An old friend,” Patrick said, refusing to give him the satisfaction of admitting that he was texting Rhiann. He shoved his phone in his pocket before Clay could come read over his shoulder.
“Rhiann?”
Patrick lifted one shoulder in what he hoped was a casual non-committal reply.
Clay’s grin widened and Patrick tensed up for the teasing that was sure to come. But Clay only shot him a conspiratorial wink before turning his attention to the coffee pot.
Rhiann
Rhiann ran around her apartment, gathering up the items Levi might need at the hospital. The relief paramedic had been twenty minutes late, and now she was going to be cutting it a lot shorter that she’d have liked.
In her head, she checked off the list: Mr. Bunny, extra clothes, diapers, formula, sippy cup. She also tossed in a juice box and some applesauce in case he was hungry. She was hoping that after his surgery formula would be a distant memory, but for now he needed the extra nutrition it provided. The last thing she shoved into the now bulging diaper bag was her purse.
“Come on, little guy!” she said, trying to inject some fake excitement about the day into her exhausted tone. She picked Levi up out of his playpen, where he’d been sitting with some toy blocks and hugged him close. “We’re going to visit Patrick again. I’m sad to say you haven’t been able to get to know him yet, but I’m hoping that’s gonna change. You see, not only is he your doctor, he has been Mommy’s best friend for a very long time. We just had a timeout on our friendship. Long story... Maybe I’ll tell you sometime.”
Juggling Levi and the diaper bag, she managed to lock the apartment door without dropping anything. She slowly made her way down the steep, narrow stairs of her building and out to the parking lot. Tossing the diaper bag onto the backseat, she settled Levi in his car seat and buckled him in safely.
After digging her keys out of the pocket of her jeans, she sank into the driver’s seat. When she turned the key in the ignition, though, all she heard was an odd whirring sound and some random clicks. Tears filled her eyes and she pressed her head against the steering wheel.
“Not today, please,” she prayed aloud.
Not that any other day would be better. Another car repair was so far from being within her budget that it might as well be on Mars. But Levi couldn’t miss this appointment.
“Come on, car. Please be good to me.”
She tried the key again.
Nada. Not even the whirring this time.
She slapped her hand against the wheel in frustration, her thoughts churning with questions. Who could she call to get a ride quickly, so they didn’t miss the appointment? How could she afford to repair the car? How could she afford not to repair the car?
Before she could think it out, she dug her purse out of the diaper bag and got her phone. She dialed Patrick’s number, calling on him to rescue her like she’d done a hundred times in their nearly two decades of friendship.
“Hey, are you on your way to the hospital?” Patrick asked when he answered. “I should be there before long myself.”
“Any way you could take a detour out to the suburbs?” She paused before explaining her dilemma. “I’m having a bit of car trouble. Okay, more than a bit. It refuses to start.”
“Uh...”
He paused, and Rhiann’s heart paused along with him. If he said no she’d have to pay for a cab or an Uber that would cost a fortune she didn’t have.
“Yeah, I can come pick you up. Text me your address and I’ll head that way now.”
Rhiann hung up the phone and texted him her address.
Closing her eyes, she let frustrated tears fall for a moment, before wiping her face and taking a deep breath. This broken-down car was not going to break her. She’d been through far worse and come out the victor. So, after another minute of self-pity, she pulled herself together—because she would not become one of those weak women she hated, always blubbering and clinging to a man like she couldn’t live without him.
She’d been flying solo with Levi for this long without having anyone to lean on. Staying strong was what she did. Her entire career had been built on her ability to stay cool under pressure, so she sure wasn’t going to let a broken-down old car crumple her like a tissue.
Exhaling slowly, she pulled her emotions back under tentative control. “You’ve got this. You always do,” she whispered to the red-eyed mommy in the rearview mirror, wishing she could truly believe that.
Her fingers touched on the simple necklace hidden beneath the collar of her shirt, seeking the comfort the little trinket always provided. While she wished someone else could give her the pep talk she desperately needed, as usual she was flying solo, so she h
ad to fuss at her reflection herself.
“You’ve purged your tears, now Levi needs you to be strong again. You are all he has, and you can’t let him down.”
She called a mechanic friend who usually cut her a good deal. “Hey, TJ—it’s Rhiann. My car is being a punk again. Could you look at it today?”
“Yeah, where’s it at?”
“At my apartment.”
“I can come get it in about an hour or so?”
“I’ll leave the key under the mat.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see if I can get it going again—but you know that old clunker’s not gonna limp along forever?”
“I know, but can you give it some crutches for now, please?”
“I’ll try, babe. But it may be tomorrow before I can get it back to you.”
“Thanks, TJ.” She hung up the phone and leaned back against the headrest. If TJ couldn’t fix the car, it couldn’t be fixed. And if it couldn’t be fixed, that opened up a whole new barrel of stress.
But didn’t have time to start worrying about that now. Shaking her head, she fiddled with her keyring until she’d pulled her car key free of the rest. After glancing around the parking lot to see if anyone was watching, and then chastising herself for the silly thought that someone might steal her busted car, she tucked the key under the floor mat.
Unbuckling Levi from his car seat, she sat him on the backseat and gave him a toy to play with from the diaper bag.
“Here—Mommy has to take your seat out of the car so it can go in Patrick’s car. I’m not sure what he drives now, but I promise it will be the nicest car you’ll have ever ridden in.”
Sadness washed over her at that thought. When she’d found out she was pregnant she’d had plans to give Levi the world. She’d failed. Her dreams had been brought down to the simple hope of giving him a future. Any future.
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