“And after that?”
“I know you only saw the bad. All the concerts and festivals—all the weekends we went away when he got a gig somewhere that distanced you and me. You hated it when I went away with him, but it kept us connected. It probably kept my marriage together longer. And, to be honest, I didn’t see his flaws until we started spending more time apart.”
“You didn’t see that he was a self-centered jerk who didn’t care anything about you unless you were changing yourself to fit the image of what he saw as the perfect wife.”
She shrugged. “Maybe I didn’t want to see it? Did you ever think about that? No, you just sat there and judged my choices—you with your perfect marriage—while I did my best to ignore the cracks big enough to drive a semi through in mine.”
“Rhiann—”
“And now it’s my turn to say I don’t want to talk about it.”
Despite the hurt and pain they’d caused each other, and his deep-seated desire to rub it in by saying that he had warned her about Pete, he couldn’t bear to add to her pain tonight by verbalizing his I told you so. So he grasped for another topic.
“Levi looks content.”
The little one was cuddled up between them, sound asleep, tiny thumb just barely in his mouth.
“He does.” She reached over and brushed a lock of hair away from Levi’s face. “Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out with him. I spend so much time at work—just to keep a roof over our heads, to keep up my insurance payments so that I can get his medical needs handled.”
“You shouldn’t feel bad that you have to work.”
“Tell that to my heart.”
“Well, you know there’s no way I’m going to be charging you for operating on Levi, don’t you?”
“What?” She looked astounded. “But I can’t accept—”
He cut her off. “I’m doing it for Levi. There will still be plenty of other hospital expenses to pay, so save your money for those.”
They just kept on diving back into the deep end, despite his efforts to lighten things up. He decided another change of topic was in order.
“Do you have much of a commute now?”
It was a good forty-minute drive from her apartment to Metro Memorial Hospital. More than he’d want to drive each way on a daily basis. But it was only about twenty to County, where he’d seen her recently.
“Not really.” She leaned her head back against the couch, exhaustion lining her features. “The station house I’m working out of is about three blocks east of here.”
“When did you leave Metro?”
Pulling one of the throw pillows into her lap, she angled it between them and he recognized the gesture for what it was: a defensive gesture.
“Three years ago.”
Guilt crept in—unbidden but somewhat deserved. Three years ago Rhiann had worked for Metro, widely known as having the best private ambulance service in the area. Taking a county job, particularly in a poorer county, had to have meant a cut in pay that she could ill afford to have taken.
But he’d thrown such a fit when Rhiann had showed up at Mallory and Everly’s funeral. In the raw freshness of his grief he’d laid out all his accusations against Rhiann very publicly. In front of a lot of Metro Memorial employees he’d put the blame for his wife and daughter’s deaths directly on her inaction that day.
Had his words gotten her fired? Or had she chosen to leave on her own from embarrassment?
He rubbed a hand over his face, angry at himself now for the part he’d played in her troubles. She hadn’t done enough to save Mallory, but he shouldn’t have humiliated her in front of all of their peers.
But in the time it took him to try to come up with some words that might somehow serve as an apology for that, without implying full forgiveness, Rhiann had fallen asleep.
She was curled up on the other side of the couch, and even in sleep her features remained troubled. She didn’t have the peaceful look that followed most mothers into sleep. Even in slumber, she couldn’t truly rest.
He picked Levi up and carried him into the only bedroom in the apartment, where he found a crib set up next to a full-sized bed and a changing table. Carefully, he laid the baby on the changing table and put a fresh diaper on him. Levi slept through the diaper-change. Then he placed the baby down into the crib without waking him, and covered him with the light blanket he found there.
Returning to the living room, he debated briefly on whether he should let Rhiann sleep there on the couch, but decided she’d rest better in her own bed.
He picked her up carefully, cradling her slight weight close to his chest, and walked back into the bedroom. Laying her gently on the bed, he eased the shoes from her feet and pulled the comforter over her. Bending down, he brushed a soft kiss against her cheek.
“Rest now,” he murmured.
Leaving the bedroom, he walked to the kitchen, to make sure Rhiann had put the leftover food away and switched off the lights. Just as he was about to flick the switch, a stack of flyers caught his eye.
He picked up one of the brightly colored pages. The bold letters on the pink paper announced a spaghetti supper at the county station to help cover Levi’s medical expenses.
She had to be hating the idea of a fundraiser for their benefit. That her pride was even allowing it told him more about her precarious situation than she’d ever admit...
Walking into his place a little while later, he sank into the plush leather couch and couldn’t help but be struck by the differences in this couch and the one in Rhiann’s apartment.
Feet propped up, head thrown back, Patrick grew angrier by the moment as he thought about how Pete had left Rhiann with nothing but a sick child and a growing pile of bills.
He moved to the desk and opened his laptop. With only a very small amount of digging, he found the jerk on social media. From his profile picture, it seemed Pete had moved on from Rhiann with a redhead who looked like she’d had more than a little work done.
With a few clicks he pulled up private messaging and fired off a message to Pete, asking for a catch-up and leaving his number in a second message.
Almost immediately, his phone rang.
“What’s up, Doc?”
Pete’s annoying voice reached through the phone and prodded at Patrick’s patience as surely as if he’d been there and poked him in the chest.
Agitated, Patrick paced the length of his house, trying to expel some of the anger.
“Never thought I’d hear from you again,” Pete continued, without waiting for Patrick to say anything. “Wasn’t like we were buddy-buddy on the best of days. So, tell me—why the sudden urge to reconnect?”
“I saw your son today.”
Pete snorted. “You must be mistaken. I don’t have a son.”
“Levi.” Patrick’s hands fisted at his sides. He was already impatient dealing with this jerk. Man, he wished they were face to face so that he could punch Pete right in the jaw.
“Ah... You mean Rhiann’s son.”
“Yours and Rhiann’s.”
Pete made a noise of disbelief. “That’s where you’re wrong. Legally, that kid’s not mine.”
“How could you just walk out on your wife and kid like that?”
A wry laugh came across the line. “Don’t know if you realized it or not, but things were never that good between me and her. D’you have any clue how many fights we had over you?”
Patrick ignored the jab. He’d heard jealousy more than once from Rhiann’s ex. Pete had never been able to accept the friendship between his wife and Patrick.
“Do you know how much she’s struggling right now?”
The line went so silent that Patrick held his phone away from his ear to see if the line had been disconnected.
When he saw it hadn’t, he growled, “Hey, I’m talking to you. D
o you have any idea how much she could use your support? How much Levi could use your support?”
“I told you. I don’t have a son.”
Patrick sank back down at his desk and picked up the flyer he’d taken from Rhiann’s counter. “She’s having a fundraiser just to pay his medical expenses. She’s barely eating in order to keep your son fed.”
“You know what you sound like right now?” said Pete.
The question hung unanswered, dangling between them like a live wire.
Patrick waited for Pete to continue.
The other man made him wait until Patrick was so on edge his knee was bouncing up and down with the effort of restraining himself.
“You sound like a man trying to offload a broken brat just to get between the mother’s legs for a night. Trust me—she ain’t worth it.”
The anger that had been rising up within Patrick came to a boil. He slapped his hand down on the desk. “You listen here—”
“What’s the matter, Doc? Can’t handle the truth when it’s thrown at you? Or did my words hit a little too close to home? You’ve been angling to get Rhiann beneath you for years—even when she was my wife. Don’t think I didn’t see the way you looked at her.” He snorted. “If you want her now, you’re gonna have to accept she comes as a package deal with that sick brat. You’re a fancy cardiac surgeon, aren’t you? Maybe she’ll let you try to fix him? And if you’re lucky the boy will die on the table.”
Patrick vibrated with anger, knowing that if Pete had been there in front of him he’d have had his hands wrapped around the loser’s throat.
“I always knew you had the hots for her. Tell Rhiann I told you so from me.”
Pete’s derisive laughter lingered long after the line had gone dead.
Patrick knew he should have trusted Rhiann when she’d said there was no help to be had from Pete.
And he knew he should have denied always wanting her.
But it would have been a lie.
CHAPTER NINE
Rhiann
WHEN RHIANN LOOKED down at the screen and saw the California number displayed there she did a double-take. She’d taken Pete’s number out of her phone, but she still remembered every digit.
“Hello?” she said with caution.
The last time she’d spoken to Pete he’d called to ream her out because the billing department at the hospital had left a message on his number instead of hers.
“I don’t appreciate you having your boy-toy fuss at me about that sick little brat you tried to saddle me with,” said Pete.
“I have no idea what you are on about.”
At least he wasn’t going to spend an hour jerking her around before he started in on her this time. Holding the phone against her shoulder, she waited for Pete to continue.
“Mmm-hmm. I bet you don’t.”
She heard the flick of a lighter and his deep inhale as he took his first drag off a cigarette.
“Your bestie hit me up last night. He’s under the mistaken impression I owe you something.”
“Who are you...? Wait, do you mean Patrick?”
Patrick had always been a point of contention between them. Pete had been jealous of their friendship from practically day one. If Patrick had contacted Pete, then there was little wonder Pete was upset.
“Who else, honey? I told you all along he was just biding his time and waiting for a chance to get in your pants. Tell Lover Boy to stay out of my face or he won’t like the results.”
The line went dead.
She closed her eyes and tried to think about what must have happened. Patrick had to have gone straight to call Pete after she’d fallen asleep. The man had some nerve. He really did.
An hour later Rhiann stalked around Metro Memorial, looking for Patrick. His partner, Clay, had told her she could find him doing rounds at the hospital when she’d stormed into his office looking for him.
The elevator slow-climbed up to the pediatric cardiology floor. The doors had barely opened when she shot through them, intent on finding her target. She started down the long beige hallway and spotted him talking to a couple doctors and nurses next to the family waiting area.
When she reached him, she grabbed his arm and turned him in her direction. “How dare you?” she growled out. “What were you thinking? No, you couldn’t have been thinking or you wouldn’t have done tit.”
He blinked, confusion darkening his expression. “Uh...hi.”
“What gave you the right to go behind my back to Pete like that?” The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Her muscles were taut with adrenaline. Her fingers itched to slap his smug face. “I can’t believe you would contact him. After everything I told you!”
Clarity lit his eyes. “I can explain.”
“There is no explanation! I trusted you and you—”
Words failed her when Patrick pulled her in close to his chest. His arms wrapped around her waist. From thigh to shoulder they were pressed together, and his lips were on hers before she could push him away.
Warm, soft, teasing, his lips covered hers. He rocked his mouth over hers and his tongue licked along her lower lip until he coaxed a gasp from her. When her lips parted beneath his, he slipped his tongue between them and twisted it with hers.
The hand she’d put on his chest to push him back grabbed his lab coat instead, and crumpled it beneath her fingers as she pulled him closer.
A first kiss almost two decades in the making.
It was worth every minute of the delay. Delicious and tempting, making her want it never to end.
Kissing Patrick was awakening sensations that had been missing from her life for a while. She’d barely noticed men since everything in her life had fallen apart, but she was certainly noticing Patrick now.
She’d been so focused on Levi, on just surviving, that she’d barely managed to function. The only thing further from her mind than dating had been falling in love again. But the moment Patrick’s lips touched hers she wanted things.
Like promises and forever.
Patrick eased back. When their lips parted they stared at each other, trying to process all the emotion and change that had come with a kiss of that magnitude. His stunned expression told her he was as shocked as she was. He probably hadn’t expected everything that kiss had held either.
A snicker from his one of his colleagues startled her out of her reverie after that nearly perfect first kiss. Rhiann remembered not only where they were, but why she was there. The burn of embarrassment flooded into her face and she turned to walk away, mad at herself for responding to his kiss as she had.
“Don’t go,” said Patrick, his voice barely above a whisper.
He grabbed her hand and tugged her down the hall to an empty conference room. He ushered her inside and closed the door.
Rhiann tried to wrap her mind around what had just happened. Patrick hadn’t been supposed to kiss her. That scenario had never come to her when she’d run through the possibilities for this conversation in her mind on the way over.
But when she turned to Patrick he hauled her in close for another kiss. Deeper, more intense than the previous kiss, it made her feel things she’d never felt before. The depth of emotion each of them poured into the embrace was intoxicating when combined. It took all her willpower to push him back.
“Stop—please.” She pressed against his chest when he tried to recapture her mouth.
He released her and ran his hands through his hair. “I’m sorry about Pete. I overstepped.”
“Yes, you did.” Tears filled her eyes. “Then and now.”
He winced. “I didn’t mean—”
“What were you thinking? I told you how things were with Pete. I trusted you to leave well enough alone. But of course you always think you know best. And then, when I call you on it, your answer is to kiss me? You
just told me last night you haven’t forgiven me for Mallory and Everly.”
“I thought I could convince Pete to step up.”
“You thought wrong.”
She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to shield herself from the pain that was sure to come. This was why she’d been determined to keep men at arm’s length after Patrick and Pete had both walked out of her life. Men always hurt her, always let her down. And somehow she’d let Patrick get beneath her defenses and handed him the power to hurt her again.
“Why did you kiss me when you can’t forgive me?”
“Rhiann...” He took a step toward her. His hand was gentle when he grasped her arm. “Please let me try to explain.”
She moved away, pulling herself from his touch and putting the large conference table between them. “You can explain from over there.”
“I’m so confused...” He raked his hands through his hair and looked at her like he expected her to give him some answers.
She had none. “You kissed me because you’re confused? About what?”
“Us—this.” He waved his hand between them. “One minute the past is all I can think about, and I hate everything about that day and the part you played in it, but then the next I can’t imagine another minute without you and Levi in my life. I’m falling for you—not a teenage crush, like before, but the real kind of love that makes a man stupid—and I don’t know how to stop it.”
Rhiann stared at him for a moment, unsure how he could both insult her and tell her that he was falling for her in the same breath.
She shook her head. “How can you say you’re falling in love with me and yet still hate me?”
“The line between hate and love is starting to blur.”
With one hand on the doorknob, she turned to Patrick. “I don’t have the time or the mental energy for this kind of confusion over another man who doesn’t know what he wants. My life is about needs now. Levi’s needs. And I need you to respect that. From now on I think it’s best if we stick to the professional boundaries between a doctor and the parent of one of his patients.”
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