Stars Over Alaska

by Jennifer Snow

  “You said you were raised by your dad?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Growing up it was a house full of testosterone. I have three brothers,” he said, sitting back in his chair and crossing one ankle over his other knee. His thick, broad thighs captured her attention and the memory of sitting on his lap that afternoon had her cheeks warming.

  “What are they like?”

  “Exactly like me. Only hairier,” he said with a grin.

  She laughed. That explained why he’d assumed she and Jade were alike.

  “And now that I know your type, I’m never introducing you to them,” he said teasingly, but she suspected there was truth in the words.

  She smiled but the ache in her chest grew. She’d never met anyone like him. She didn’t want to meet anyone else like him. She liked him. Far more than was safe for her heart.

  He sat forward and reached across, taking her hands in his. He lowered his head and stared at their joined hands, gently stroking hers. “Maddie, I haven’t had a connection like this in... I don’t think ever.”

  She swallowed hard.

  “The hardest part is knowing we have to leave here tomorrow morning and you don’t want to explore this further.”

  “It’s not that I don’t want to.” She paused. “I wish things were different.”

  Choosing her sister over a man she barely knew was the right thing, so why was it so hard?

  Mike’s gaze held hers for a long moment. He looked ready to argue but respected her enough not to. He slowly released her hands and stood. “We should probably call it a night?”

  She didn’t want to, but it was after ten and all the other huts were dark and...not exactly quiet, but definitely out for the night. They were packing up and leaving for the drive back to Wild River first thing the next morning. “Yeah, we probably should.” She stood and collected their plates, but he took them from her.

  “I’ll take care of all this if you want to get ready for bed.”

  She nodded and she desperately wanted to tell him how she was feeling, but the words refused to surface. Why make this harder by confessing that she was falling for him? What good could come from that?

  He put on his coat and left the hut with the dishes and Maddie changed into her pajamas...but instead of the big fleecy shirt, she pulled on a light-colored tank top with her pajama bottoms.

  Then immediately second-guessed the decision when Mike returned and his gaze took in her body. He didn’t say a word, but the look of desire in his eyes had her heart pounding out of her chest.

  “You sure you don’t want the bigger cot?” she asked as casually as possible.

  “Only if you’re in it too.”

  Her pulse raced as her mind came up with all the reasons that was a bad idea.

  Their attraction for one another was obvious. There’d been more kissing than fishing that day. No talking about what it all meant. They’d agreed that it was a one-time, one-day thing.

  One-night thing, as well?

  What happens in the fishing hut, stays in the fishing hut?

  But it was already going to be hard to walk away from him the next morning. If they shared a night together, it would be a million times harder.

  “I just want to hold you a little longer,” he said.

  Unfortunately, that was almost worse. Sex was one thing. An emotional connection was a whole other thing.

  But it was too late anyway and if they were on borrowed time, Maddie was desperate to prolong the inevitable.

  She climbed into the bigger cot and pulled the sheets back, inviting him in.

  Mike quickly removed his clothes, grabbed his pillow from the other cot and climbed in next to her, wearing only his underwear. “This okay?” he asked.

  “Sleeping next to an insanely hot guy in only underwear—probably not.” It was certainly going to test her self-control, but she was going to do it anyway.

  She pulled the blankets up over them and cuddled into his large, muscular chest. He was so warm and his arms wrapped around her felt secure, safe. Where she was meant to be.

  He kissed her forehead as he held her tight. “Today was probably the best day I’ve had in a long time,” he said quietly.

  “Me too.”

  “I really wish I’d met you first,” Mike said, and she released a deep, heavy sigh.

  “Me too,” she whispered again as she closed her eyes and he held her even tighter.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  MIKE GLANCED INTO the rearview mirror of the SnowTrek Tours van as he pulled onto Main Street the next day. His gaze met Maddie’s and his heart raced. Those eyes. He was going to miss the hell out of those eyes. And every other part of her.

  Things had happened so quickly between them, yet he knew it was the real deal. He’d never connected with anyone the way he had with her. And he had no other choice than ignore it. Hope it faded?

  They’d agreed that they couldn’t actually see one another, given the circumstances. But it was bullshit. How was he supposed to forget one of the best weekends of his life? How was he supposed to shut off the feelings he’d developed for her?

  Could she really turn them off like that? Walk away from him?

  Was her loyalty to her sister just that strong? If so, that made her even more incredible. He’d do anything for his brothers, but he’d be hard-pressed to walk away from her if the situation was reversed.

  He sighed as he stopped the van in front of the shop, and ran a hand over his beard. “Okay, everyone, here we are—safe and sound.” Everyone was accounted for, and other than one couple who’d kept each other in the friend zone, everyone in the van had fished, flirted and possibly found their match.

  Mission accomplished. Cassie had to approve.

  Unfortunately, he’d lost focus on what the weekend was supposed to achieve. He’d been caught up and caught off guard by Maddie.

  The guests climbed out and Mike took their things from the back of the van. Then they all headed inside to fill out the SnowTrek Tours event evaluation form, but Maddie lingered after she’d shouldered her bag.

  She jammed her hands into her pockets and rocked back on the heels of her hiking boots, looking as reluctant to say goodbye as he was. “Well, thank you for a memorable weekend.”

  He nodded. “You’re welcome.” He stared at her, waiting, hoping...

  She pointed toward the shop. “Guess I should go in and fill out my evaluation.”

  “Yeah...”

  She turned to walk away and he reached for her hand. “Maddie?”

  Her eager expression when she turned back gave him a glimmer of hope. “You sure? About us...not seeing one another again?”

  She hesitated and he held his breath. “I would like to see you again.”

  Oh thank God. He smiled. “You would?”

  “Yeah, I mean, there’s no reason we can’t be...friends? Hang out sometime.”

  Friends. He shook his head. “You really think we could be just friends after this weekend?” That hurt. He’d thought they’d gone way beyond friendship. And while he’d love to have her in his life, that way would never be enough.

  “It’s better than nothing, isn’t it?” She looked as pained as he felt.

  “I’m not sure I can do that, Maddie. Being around you and not being able to hold your hand or kiss you...” He’d never felt this magnetic pull to anyone before. Spending time with her, knowing it couldn’t lead to a deeper connection, a real relationship would be hell. And what if she started seeing someone else? The thought alone made his stomach drop—he’d never survive witnessing it.

  “So you’d rather not have me in your life at all?” Her disappointment shattered him even more.

  He hated hurting her, but if she could honestly say that she could be just friends, then she wasn’t feeling this connection the same way he was. Maybe he’d
read this wrong. It was best to leave the weekend in the past and move on before either of them got hurt. “I know my limits and any attempt to be your friend—” he shook his head “—I think I’d just let you down.”

  Her chest rose and fell on a deep sigh. One full of heartbreaking resolution. He released her hand and shoved his into his pockets. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed the experience.”

  She looked ready to say something more, but instead she simply nodded, gathered her things and headed down the street, away from SnowTrek Tours and away from him. All he could do was watch her leave.

  * * *

  AS SHE CLIMBED the stairs to her apartment a half hour later, Maddie’s emotions were a mess.

  The first time she’d ever met a guy who had her feeling all the feels in all the right ways and he was off-limits. The weekend had been amazing. Even the awkward tension at the beginning had signaled something, had foreshadowed an attraction. One she’d struggled to fight.

  Not hard enough.

  She could still taste Mike on her lips, still feel his beard tickling her skin... Still drown in the guilt of having made out with her sister’s ex. Slept in his arms last night. Years before she’d felt so betrayed by her best friend and boyfriend. She hadn’t understood that maybe the two of them had had a stronger connection, that maybe they’d been a better fit and that sometimes things just happened when you least expected them.

  Now she was seeing things a little differently, occupying a different angle of the triangle. But unlike her former best friend, she’d chosen her connection with her sister above all else.

  But damn, why had she let it go that far? Getting over him now would be torture. How was it possible that after only two days, he’d completely captured her heart?

  No more. She had put an end to it before it could get out of hand...though neither of them was thrilled about it. The look on his face when she’d said they could be friends had broken her. She didn’t want to be just friends any more than he did, but the fact that he was turning down an opportunity to at least have that...hurt. A lot.

  The sadness and disappointment in his tone as they’d said goodbye had made her stomach twist as though she wasn’t doing the right thing. But what else could she do? She couldn’t betray her sister.

  Not for a man she’d known for only two days.

  A man she’d fallen hard for in two days.

  She unlocked the front door and dragged her duffel bag inside. Sighing, she leaned against it and fought the tears burning in the backs of her eyes.

  * * *

  AS MIKE UNLOADED the gear into the back room of SnowTrek Tours, he could hear the laughter and happy voices of the tour guests as they mingled at the End of Weekend event and filled out their evaluation forms.

  Maddie hadn’t stayed to fill hers out.

  And Mike hadn’t been able to stay out front with everyone. Their flirtatious gazes and praise of Cassie’s matchmaking skills were too much and he’d needed some space away from it all. He was glad everyone had a good time and the connections had worked, but his own bruised heart couldn’t handle being among the festivities.

  “Hey, there you are,” Cassie said, popping her head around the corner.

  “Yeah, just putting everything away.”

  She entered the room and tapped him on the shoulder. “Well, good news—everyone rated you highly and the excursion was a success, so you can officially lead your own tours.”

  At the start of the weekend, that had been the goal. He should be thrilled, and he was...or would be. Right now he could barely summon a smile. “Great. Thanks, Cass.”

  She lingered. “So, were the fish biting?”

  He nodded, not really in the mood to chat but unable to ignore his boss. “I think everyone caught at least one.” He hadn’t. With Maddie sitting on his lap, his attention hadn’t exactly been on the fishing pole. Her body so close to his, the sound of her gentle laugh, the moments of silence that had been filled with so much left unspoken...

  “Too bad about Maddie,” Cassie said. “She didn’t stay to fill out an evaluation form so I hope she wasn’t too upset about her match having to cancel. Did she still have fun?”

  “I don’t know. That one’s hard to read,” he said a little too briskly.

  “You okay?” Cassie asked.

  He sighed and ran a hand over his beard. “Sorry. I’m sure she did. I’m just tired.”

  She studied him. “That’s not tired. That’s emotionally torn. I’d recognize that expression anywhere.”

  He avoided her perceptive gaze as he continued putting the fishing gear on the racks.

  “Um, Mike...you two hit it off, didn’t you?” She sounded intrigued that she might have created an even more successful event than she’d thought.

  There was no point denying it. “Unfortunately.”

  Cassie frowned. “What do you mean? Isn’t that a good thing?”

  “It would be...if I hadn’t already dated her sister.”

  Cassie’s expression was full of sympathetic understanding as she touched his shoulder. “Sorry, Mike.”

  “Not as sorry as I am,” he said with a heavy sigh and even heavier heart.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  JADE WAS ON HER the moment she returned from the library. Trying to conceal any sign of guilt was taking more strength than Maddie had as she ate ice cream straight from the carton.

  “So? How was it?” her sister asked, a glint of excitement in her eyes. She set her backpack down and sat beside Maddie on the sofa, waiting to hear all the juicy gossip.

  Maddie avoided looking at her. “It was fine...”

  “Just fine?”

  “Yeah...fine.”

  Jade looked unimpressed. “After all those matchmaking questionnaires and all the promises from SnowTrek that you’d find your perfect match and it was just fine?”

  “SnowTrek didn’t promise anything.” Maddie sighed, dropping the spoon into the carton. Even her favorite treat wasn’t cheering her up. She suspected it would take more than chocolate chip cookie dough to heal her conflicted heart. “I’m going to take a shower,” she said, unfolding her legs from their cross-legged position and getting up. She needed some time to process the whirlwind of emotions raging through her and be alone with her memories of Mike before she was forced to move on. And being around Jade—the unblamable source of the situation she was in—was too much right now.

  “Hold up,” Jade said as she walked away.

  Maddie paused and turned. “I’m really not in the mood, Jade, we can talk in a bit.”

  Unfortunately, her sister was relentless. “Just let me get this straight—you didn’t make a connection this weekend?”

  “My match canceled at the last minute.” That part was true. She’d focus on the truth and avoid the rest of the details.

  “But you stayed anyway?”

  “I’d paid to fish.” She shrugged, hoping her sister would drop it.

  She didn’t. “Well, who did you fish with?”

  Oh God... “Mike.”

  Her sister’s face didn’t take on the look of annoyance Maddie had been expecting at the mention of her ex. Instead, she looked impatient as she said, “And?”

  “And what?”

  “Was there a connection?” Jade asked.

  Uh-oh... Why was her sister cornering her into either lying or coming clean and potentially driving a wedge between them? She hesitated. “He’s a nice guy,” she said carefully.

  Jade grinned. “So, you did like him?”

  More than she’d ever liked anyone in her life. Including her sister right now. “Can I be honest or are we still supposed to hate Mike?” she asked, losing her cool a little. Truth was, her sister had had a great guy and she hadn’t recognized it. Jade couldn’t see how perfect Mike was, but Maddie could. Unfortunately, sister code prevented her from
having him. It seemed really unfair.

  “You can be honest,” Jade said, getting up from the couch.

  “I like him a lot and we did...connect,” she said, still unsure how much to reveal. The sleeping together part she’d definitely keep to herself. “In fact, I’ve never connected so well with any guy before.” She expected her sister to be annoyed or tell her she was crazy for liking Mike.

  But Jade’s smile was wide as a Cheshire cat’s as she said, “I knew it would work.”

  Maddie narrowed her eyes. “Knew what would work?”

  “Okay, don’t get mad but there may not have ever been a Darrel Lovejoy,” Jade said quickly.

  “No Darrel Lovejoy?” What the hell was her sister talking about? “Wait, how did you know my match’s name?”

  “I may have invented him,” she said sheepishly.

  “I’m sorry, what?” Either she was more tired than she’d thought or her sister wasn’t making any sense right now. Invented him? Why?

  “Look, I knew you and Mike would really hit it off, but I also knew he probably would ignore me if I said I had someone he should meet. And you get annoyed whenever I try to introduce you to men...so...”

  “So, you set this up?”

  Jade nodded and her grin said she was proud of herself. “Yep. And it worked.”

  Maddie swallowed hard. She forced herself not to reach out and strangle her sister. “Yeah, only it didn’t because I told Mike I couldn’t see him...because of you.”

  “What?” Jade looked confused. “Why would you do that?”

  Right now, Maddie had no idea.

  * * *

  A FEW DAYS LATER, Mike loaded the SnowTrek Tours van for a winter camping expedition. His first one leading a group of six campers on a two-night trip in the Alaskan backwoods. Getting out of town again would give him a reason not to reach out to Maddie and hopefully help take his mind off her. The past few days had been torture not hearing from her.