Yoga Nidra

by Richard Miller, Ph. D.

  The search for an experience that will bring lasting joy and peace always misses the mark, as joyful equanimity is already the case. As we inquire into the Body of Joy, we discover and learn to live in joy that is devoid of any object. Then we may awaken to the realization that equanimity is always present, even in the midst of the most tumultuous and challenging circumstances.

  During this phase of Yoga Nidra, we recall memories that invite joy, peace, and contentment as our embodied experience. Then we relinquish our memories and learn to recognize equanimity that is always present, that exists independent of our changing experience.

  Sonia lives collapsed in her fear of being authentic. She believes, “If I just do it right I’ll be loved.” She distrusts herself and feels “small, worthless, and incapable.” She is living a life identified with feeling separate and powerless. During Yoga Nidra, Sonia learns to rotate her attention through opposites of small-big, worthless-potent, and incapable-capable, which increases her capacity to tolerate feelings of isolation and intimacy. She learns to attune to witnessing Presence, which increases her ability to be a spacious container that welcomes every experience. As she simultaneously holds opposites of her experience, Sonia suddenly embodies the heartfelt understanding that “I’m okay, as I am.” Her identity abruptly shifts from being a separate ego-I that harshly judges to an I-ness of Being in which judgments arise and are welcomed with neither reactive expression nor defensive refusing. Her self-alienation dissolves, as she feels connected to herself. Sonia begins to experience joy with her newfound self-acceptance. But even more astonishing to Sonia is when she suddenly realizes that joy and self-accepting have been with her since infancy as the equanimity of Being that has always been present. She had simply ignored this equanimity of Being because of her identification with thoughts and emotions that had occupied the foreground of her attention.

  This kind of equanimity was difficult for me to comprehend at first, for I couldn’t understand how joy and equanimity could coexist alongside feelings of depression, sadness, anger, and fatigue. With doubt in hand and trust in my heart, I steadfastly practiced Yoga Nidra and realized that the ancients are right. Equanimity and joy do exist independent of whatever else is present. Yoga Nidra revealed what my mind vigorously denied. So please, have faith, persist and don’t stop until you realize that peace and equanimity are the underlying fabric of your Being. Then pass on the good news.

  STAGE SIX—TRUTH AND SELF TRANSCENDED: AWARENESS OF THE BODY OF EGO-I

  Through inquiry the mind is absorbed in silence and enlightenment naturally arises.

  —YOGA VASISTHA

  You are aware of everything that you experience. Sensations, emotions, thoughts, and pleasures come and go, in awareness. Yoga Nidra teaches the art of discrimination (Sanskrit: vivekakyati) whereby we are able to discern the difference between the objects that are coming and going in awareness, and awareness itself. Your capacity to recover this subtle discernment delivers you to the critical juncture of Yoga Nidra where you stand at the threshold of the Body of Ego-I (asmitamaya kosha). At this stage we ponder the nature of this separate ego-I that we take ourselves to be, who witnesses and experiences the myriad sensations, feelings, emotions, thoughts, and images that are coming and going in awareness.

  The Great Turn of Undoing

  In this phase of Yoga Nidra, you are invited to make what I call the Great Turn of Undoing wherein your attention, which has been directed outward into the objects that are in awareness, turns back upon itself and inquires into the very nature of this “I” that believes itself to be a separate witness. When the witness turns, when the one who is welcoming welcomes itself, a tremendous realization is unveiled. Your separate sense of ego-I that is identified as being a separate witness dissolves into Being Witnessing.

  In Being, the ego-I thought cannot be sustained. It dissolves into its Source, Being. Experience this for yourself. Stop for a moment and just BE. Don’t pay attention to any particular sensation, sound, or sight. Be open to just Being. Observe how the mind stops and thinking dissolves, absorbed in Being. This is what happens in deep sleep. Boundaries dissolve. Expansiveness unfolds. Actually “you” aren’t expanding. “You” are simply returning to what you have been all along, infinite, unlimited, spacious Presence.

  Love, the Bodily Location of “I”

  During this phase of Yoga Nidra, we learn to discriminate the difference between the changing “ego-I” that is the body, with its felt location as time-space sensation, and the “I-ness” that is Presence, which is timeless and pervasive. During Yoga Nidra, we can subvocally repeat, “I . . . I . . .” while feeling where this word-sound resonates in the body. “I . . . I . . . ” at first may be experienced in the head. Identification with thinking originates in the brain and maintains separation. But the pronoun “I” is an unusual mantra or sound-tool (Sanskrit: “sound-tool used to transcend separation”).15 It is a tool that, when properly utilized, interrupts the mind’s identification with the I-thought that creates separation.

  Try the Following Experiment

  Repeat your name subvocally several times (substituting your name for my name) as follows: “I am Richard . . . (pause) . . . I am Richard . . . (pause) . . . I am Richard . . . (pause) . . . ” Saying your name this way reinforces your mind’s identification as a separate object.

  Then, drop your name and subvocally repeat the statement, “I am . . . (pause) . . . I am . . . (pause) . . . I am . . . (pause).” Note the subtle shift in feeling and identity from the head and down into the heart.

  Then, drop the “am” and subvocally repeat, “I . . . (pause) . . . I . . . (pause) . . . I . . . (pause).” Then drop “I” and just Be, before mind arises and mind makes a difference. Again, note the subtle shifts into expansive openness. When used this way, the pronoun “I” is a stick that we use to stir the fire of self-inquiry that is consumed at the end in the fire of Being. All words point to Being, but “I” is a pointer par excellence.

  Before thought arises in the brain and gives rise to separation, you live undivided as Being, which resonates in the body as the feeling of love that you normally associate with the heart (Sanskrit: anahata = “unstruck sound of pure Being”). Yoga Nidra develops your ability to recognize “Love” that exists independent of another. Your essence of Being or True Nature can be described as Love. As you explore the Body of Ego-I you learn to trace the feeling of “I” back to its Source and uncover Love that is your very Presence, that is present before, during, and after the I-thought, and which exists before your thinking divides the world into separate “self” and “other.”

  Naked Truth

  When the I-thought dissolves in Love, we experience the ultimate impact of the Great Turn of Undoing where “I” is recognized in its nakedness as pure Being. Pure Being needs no separate ego-I to know Itself. Disidentification from the Body of Ego-I results in the collapse of separation. Separation is recognized as the paradox it is. Every “thing” can be metaphorically likened to objects made of gold. Gold rings, bracelets, goblets, and plates appear different in their design, but their Source is one—gold. Trees, people, animals, mountains, planets, and stars appear different, but their source is ultimately one—True Nature.

  The body and mind are facets of Being. Upon disidentification from the six sheaths, Being shines forth unveiled, recognizing Itself in all of its infinite facets that reflect back its own face. We are not a separate observer, observing separate objects. This stance is a paradox, a logical absurdity, because “I” as the perceiver am not separate from “I” that is perceived. When you live this paradox without being distracted, the entire structure of separation collapses. The separative witness constructed by the mind dissolves into pure Being in which there is neither witness nor object witnessed. There is only Witnessing. There is only Perceiving. Dualistic opposites resolve into their home ground of pure Being. When subject and object dissolve, one into the other, only timeless Presence remains. Witnessing without a witness. Wel
coming without a welcomer. Doing without a doer. No separation, anywhere.

  Grace

  Glimpses of True Nature come and go, often disappearing as quickly as they arrive. Glimpses can give way to prolonged periods of living as Being, which ultimately give way to enlightenment, the timeless instant of radical transformation in which the truth of Being fully reveals Itself. Even then, it takes time for doubt to dissolve in the truth of Being.

  When you glimpse True Nature, understand that the natural tendency of your mind will still be to reassert its identity as a separate doer. But, with enlightenment, this habit is blatantly obvious. Continued inquiry dissolves the final remnants of the mind’s belief in separation, and uninterrupted abiding as Being becomes the norm. Then, you live the timeless realization of Yoga Nidra, which has revealed your True Nature as nonconceptual, nondual Being.

  Along the way, your mind may fool itself into thinking that it is responsible for these glimpses and relapses as well as for enlightenment; that “practice makes perfect.” But this is a false notion; for when we understand that everything is Not Two (Sanskrit: advaita = “not two”), we realize that there is no separate ego-I, or doer, who is responsible for doing any practice.16 Everything is realized to be Grace (Sanskrit: anugraha = “grace”), which is another essential characteristic of True Nature.

  Grace is everywhere, for everything is Grace. Every rock and tree is Grace. Every sensation, thought, and emotion is Grace. Forgetting is Grace. Remembering is Grace. The desire and ability to awaken is Grace. And the inability to awaken is Grace, too. The child suffering is Grace. The child in joy is Grace. Peace is Grace. Even war is another face of Grace.

  The recognition that everything is Grace brings with it Equanimity, which is also recognized as Grace. Grace is every situation paired with its perfect response. Embodying this understanding ends suffering, for suffering only arises when the mind defends against and pretends that Grace is so only under certain circumstances. Yoga Nidra reveals that our desire and willingness to practice, as well as the final realization of True Nature, are Grace in action. As layers of separation peel away, we recognize the “what is” of, and our true response to, each moment, and realize that each is Grace.

  We’ve heard the statement, “And the Truth shall set you free.” Nothing short of living in the truth of what is, works. Try every other way! You’re free to try because freedom is Grace, too. In the end, when we’ve exhausted all avenues, we recognize how simple life is when we accept this moment, just as it is, without pretending to be other than who we are. This is Grace in action and the culmination of Yoga Nidra. What could be simpler? What could be easier? What could be more vital? Yet, throughout the world, how many understand this? So, could anything be more needed?

  Let’s review what has happened so far at each of these stages as we’ve explored the different bodies (sheaths).

  • Exploring the Physical Body, we come to the conclusion that the body is not solid. It is infinite spacious vibration, without center or periphery.

  • Exploring the Energy Body, we realize that the body is fluid, unlimited energy.

  • Exploring the Bodies of Feeling and Emotion, and Intellect, we realize that our emotions and thoughts are only passing phenomena superimposed upon a background of spacious awareness.

  • Exploring the Body of Joy, we realize the vastness of equanimity that exists independent of any experience.

  • Exploring the Body of Ego-I, we investigate the vital questions, “Who is this ‘I’ that is experiencing all of these movements?” “Who is aware of these body sensations, of these flows of energy?” “Who is aware of these emotions, thoughts, and images?” In the domain of the ego-I, we inquire into the nature, substance, and reality of the “I” who is aware.

  STAGE SEVEN—REACHING THE SOURCE: LIVING THE NATURAL STATE

  You speak as if you are here and the Self is elsewhere. The Self is here, now. You are always It.

  —RAMANA MAHARSHI

  The six sheaths of identification are like the emperor’s new clothes.17 Everyone pretends they exist, when in fact they are fabrications of the mind. Separation doesn’t exist, except as a projection of the mind, whose job it is to pretend that the One is actually many. Awakening from the dream of “me” reveals that every “thing” is an expression of nondual Being. Just as the facets of a diamond are not separate from the diamond, everything we see, touch, taste, hear, smell, and think is a facet of Unity. Being is the Is-ness and Suchness of every moment, the Ground out of which life springs. The essential attitude of Being is Welcoming—welcoming everything as it is, because everything is an expression of Being. Being is always welcoming itself in every moment. It cannot be otherwise. When we live knowingly as unitive Being, we feel no separation or disparity with each moment and all that life brings. Frederick Franck describes this beautifully in the story “Of Candles, Mirrors, and Wholeness.” 18

  Some fourteen hundred years ago a brilliant woman, the Empress Wu, ruled over China. She became deeply interested in a new school of Buddhist thought, a totalistic view of the universe, which embodies one of the profoundest insights the human mind has ever attained. The Hwa Yen sages (Japanese: Kegon; Sanskrit: Avatamsaka) see the Whole, embracing all the universes as a single living organism of mutually interdependent and interpenetrating processes of becoming and un-becoming. The literature in which this cosmic vision is worked out is of extreme complexity, and so the Empress Wu decided to ask one of the founders of Hwa Yen or Kegon School, Fa-tsang (643–772 CE), if he could possibly give her a practical and simple demonstration of this cosmic interrelatedness, of the relationship of the One and the many, of God and his creatures, and of the creatures one to another.

  Fa-tsang went to work and appointed one of the palace rooms so that eight large mirrors stood at the eight points of the compass. Then he placed two more mirrors, one on the ceiling and one on the floor. A candle was suspended from the ceiling in the center of the room. When the Empress entered Fa-tsang lit the candle. The Empress cried: “How marvelous! How beautiful!”

  Fa-tsang pointed at the reflection of the flame in each one of the ten mirrors and said: “See, Your Majesty: this demonstrates the relationship of the One and the many, of God to each one of his creatures.” The Empress said: “Yes, indeed, Master! And what is the relationship of each creature to the others?” Fa-tsang answered: “Just watch, Your Majesty, how each mirror not only reflects the one flame in the center, each mirror also reflects the reflections of the flame in all the other mirrors, until an infinite number of flames fills them all. All these reflections are mutually identical; in a sense they are interchangeable, in another sense each one exists individually. This shows the true relationship of each being to its neighbor, to all that is! Of course I must point out, Your Majesty,” Fa-tsang went on, “that this is only a rough approximation and static parable of the real state of affairs in the universe—for the universe is limitless and in it all is in perpetual, multidimensional motion.”

  Then the Master covered one of the infinite number of reflections of the flame and showed what we are now, perhaps too late, beginning to realize in ecology—how each apparently insignificant interference affects the whole organism of our world. Kegon expresses this relationship by the formula: One in All. All in One. One in One. All in All.

  Based on this insight is the Kegon term “The Great Compassionate Heart.” This Great Compassionate Heart is not some mythical object. It is the quality of awareness that sees all phenomena (including of course oneself) as part of, as rising out of, Emptiness; literally remaining this Emptiness while assuming a temporal form, and finally being reabsorbed by Emptiness. It is a quality of awareness that quite naturally expresses itself in acts of deepest, yet quite unsentimental reverence and compassion for all that is, the just and the unjust, humans, animals, and even plants and stones. Is the Great Compassionate Heart perhaps what is also called the Holy Spirit?

  Then Fa-tsang, in order to conclude his command perform
ance, held up a small crystal ball and said: “Now watch, Your Majesty, how all these large mirrors and all the myriad forms they reflect are mirrored in this little sphere. See how in the Ultimate Reality the infinitely small contains the infinitely large, and the infinitely large the infinitely small, without obstruction! Oh, if only I could demonstrate to you the unimpeded mutual interpenetration of time and eternity, of past, present, and future! But alas, this is a dynamic process that must be grasped on a different level.”

  The Hwa Yen Sutra says: The incalculable aeons are but one moment, and that moment is no moment, thus one sees the Reality of the Universe.

  Hide and Seek, Lost and Found

  Until we knowingly live Being, our mind will continue to play the game of “lost and found” while True Nature plays “hide and seek.” But in the end we must realize that our very searching is preventing us from realizing True Nature, for that which we seek is already what we are. The ego-I is a “hungry ghost” in search of itself. When it looks in the mirror, it sees emptiness, never realizing that Emptiness is its true form. When the I-thought dissolves in Being, we find ourselves living as Empty-Fullness—empty of self and full of everything.

  I had to laugh loudly upon awakening from the “dream of me.” For years I felt alone and empty, spending decades trying to remedy my plight through all means from drugs to psychotherapy and meditation. When I met my spiritual mentor, Jean Klein, his first words were, “Your very searching is taking you away.”

  Through his guidance, I learned to stop searching and just be. With his guidance and the support of Yoga Nidra, I began to stabilize in the equanimity of Being. And then one morning I awoke into the realization of True Nature. It was early morning around 2 a.m. when I found myself unable to sleep. I got out of bed and sat by the glass door, gazing up into the starlit nighttime sky. Suddenly, quite unexpectedly, and with no fanfare, I simply realized the underlying Essence of Being that is my True Nature and that everything is made of.