Having her sweaty little sister in her arms—and Rose knew Lily had to be her sister (Iris must have stolen something else, and that was why she was in jail)—Rose felt better about everything.
After a while, Lily leaned back and gazed at Rose. Her face was still flushed with heat, but she smiled and her eyes shone. “Ose,” she said, as if Rose were the finest thing on the planet.
“Lily,” Rose said, looking into her sister’s eyes.
“Book,” Lily said, getting up and toddling off.
Rose went back to looking for clothes that weren’t stained and didn’t smell bad and looked as if they might fit.
They would have a lot to carry.
What about bedding?
She wished she knew for sure where they were going, but the most important thing was just to get out of here before Ama came.
If they went to the mall, there was a Penney’s store with a pretty made-up bed. But Rose wouldn’t be able to sleep out in the open like that, wondering if a security guard might discover them. They could probably use the store’s blankets and pillows in a hiding place behind a counter or under a table.
Or in the dressing room! Rose had tried on bathing suits at Penney’s last summer, and the stall in the dressing room had been very nice, with a door, and carpet, and just enough room for her and Lily to spread a blanket and sleep. Nobody would look in there after the store closed. But the floor would smell like feet, and there wouldn’t be fresh air.
Lily came in with the book about the mouse and patted the mattress for Rose to sit down. Although it was hard to keep her mind off all the things she needed to do, Rose read to Lily. It was too late to move tonight because the mall would be closed by the time they got there. But they had to be long gone before Ama came in the morning.
Rose tried to stay patient, even when Lily insisted on turning pages backward to see if the mouse was still there. When Rose finally got to the end, she folded a tiny origami mouse to distract Lily, who took it away to show to her bottle.
Rose heard her babbling, her voice rising and falling, as Rose went back to looking for clothes.
She had no idea how they were going to get to the mall with all their stuff. Maybe the old man they’d seen sitting in the car that first morning would take them. But maybe he didn’t sit in his car every day. Or maybe he wasn’t a good driver and would smash into something. Plus, he was a stranger, and they shouldn’t get into a car with a stranger.
Her stomach growled, reminding her they needed to eat. She spread a towel on the floor in the living room again and dipped Aunt Carol’s baked beans into plastic cups. And she made ham sandwiches.
As they ate, Lily’s eyes kept going to the TV even though it wasn’t on.
“We’re going to have lots of stuff to carry when we leave,” Rose said. “Do you think you can walk all the way to the mall?”
Lily’s eyes came to Rose’s.
“I won’t be able to carry you too,” Rose said.
Lily shook her head and went back to gazing at the blank television.
Rose ate her sandwich, thinking about Aunt Carol, Uncle Thomas, and Maddy. Rose wouldn’t get to say goodbye to Maddy.
Lily made a strangled, hacking sound. Her face was red and her eyes were watering. She pulled a wad of half-chewed ham out of her mouth, but she kept choking.
“Hold your arms up,” Rose said, holding her own up. “Like this.”
But Lily kept taking chunks of meat out of her mouth and getting redder and redder in the face. Her eyes filled with panic.
Rose leapt to her feet. Kneeling behind Lily, she lifted her upright. She should have known Lily didn’t have enough teeth to chew ham. Maddy would have known.
4-H, she thought. “Here.” She wrapped her arms around Lily and used her hands to push in what she hoped was the right place on Lily’s tummy.
A little chunk flew out of Lily’s mouth and landed on the towel. Lily sucked a clear breath.
In relief, Rose flopped to the floor and gathered Lily onto her lap, kissing her greasy face again and again. “Please don’t need CPR,” she said. “Please, please, please. I don’t know how to do that.”
Lily struggled free and put her hands on Rose’s cheeks. “Ose,” she said.
“What?”
“Ose.”
“Yes.” Rose took her sticky hands. “Don’t worry. I’m not going anyplace. At least, not without you.” She gave Lily one more hug.
Lily went back to eating the beans out of the plastic cup, and Rose went back to thinking about the trip to the mall.
They could try to walk with all their stuff, but it was a long way. What if Lily got tired and cranky and started screeching like a barn owl? Somebody might think Rose was hurting her. And for sure they would be noticed.
Lily held out her empty cup.
“Do you want more?” Rose asked.
Lily nodded.
“Say More beans, please.”
Lily waggled the cup.
“You have to learn to talk, Lily.” Rose pointed to her own beans. “Beans.” She looked at Lily, waiting.
“Beans,” Rose said again. “Beans.” She pointed and looked at Lily.
“Bees?” Lily said.
Rose clapped. “Yes! Beans, beans, beans!”
“Bees, bees, bees,” Lily said, clapping.
Rose gave her more beans. Lily was very smart. To make sure, Rose pointed to the beans and raised her eyebrows at Lily.
“Bees,” Lily said.
Rose nodded. “Good.”
Later, when Rose was cleaning up the disgusting pieces of mauled ham that Lily had choked on and was washing food off Lily’s face and hands, she noticed what Lily was clutching in her beany fist.
The answer to their problem. Iris’s car keys.
The car could hold all their stuff. They could go wherever they needed to go in the car.
They could live in the car.
She scooped up the keys and shook them like a tambourine. “Keys, keys, keys!”
“Keys!” Lily said.
Rose kissed her, not minding her bean-smeared face. “You are so smart.”
·· thirteen ··
LILY was almost asleep. Rose was murmuring whatever she could think of, making it sound like a bedtime story. Lily probably didn’t know what Rose was saying anyway. Lily needed to go to sleep so Rose could pack the car and make their getaway in absolute silence.
“You’re learning more words all the time,” Rose said softly. She didn’t mention them, lest they pull Lily back from the edge of sleep. “B-o-o-k, m-o-u-s-e, b-e-a-n-s.” In the dark, she felt Lily loosen her grip on her bottle. “And now you are a-s-l-e-e-p,” Rose whispered.
She eased away and went to the window. Iris’s car, with its squashed front, sat waiting under a parking lot light. It looked angry and terrifying, but it was their only hope.
In Iris’s room, she found a box the right size to hold Lily’s clothes and diapers. She felt guilty messing with Iris’s stuff, but she needed the box so she dumped it. She also needed something to pack their food into, so she dumped another box. When a few pictures stuck to the bottom, Rose pulled them loose.
One was of a teenage Iris, her belly huge, clowning with a girlfriend. Rose wondered if it was the best friend her mother had talked about. She studied the photo. She was inside that big belly. She’d never thought of herself like that. Really small, not knowing anything yet, not even where she was. All folded up tight in there.
She almost took the snapshot because she didn’t think Iris was coming back for a long time—maybe not ever. But after a minute, she let it fall onto the pile of Iris’s stuff.
In the kitchen, she packed food. Then she gathered Lily’s toys and books and a pillow from Iris’s bed. Because it was summer, they wouldn’t have to worry about getting cold at night. And b
y winter, she’d have money from her paper art to buy blankets and everything they’d need.
She felt how late it was. The music in the apartment next door had stopped. She looked through the peephole. The hall was empty. Taking Iris’s keys and the gold basket full of Lily’s toys, she swung her backpack over her shoulder. Everything was quiet behind the apartment doors as she hurried down the hall.
Outside, the air felt heavenly. She looked up, hoping to see the polestar, but in town, even in the middle of the night, there was too much light for stars.
The closer she got, the scarier Iris’s car looked. Ama’s car had been friendly and familiar because Rose had ridden in it and watched Ama drive it for years. Plus, Ama had slowly led the way that day after school, and all Rose had to do was follow. And at the end, Ama had been there to say Homeric! And Myrtle had given Rose kisses.
Tears sprang to Rose’s eyes. It was just her and Lily now, on their own. She kept on walking across the parking lot.
The car was unlocked. Rose put her backpack and the basket on the floor of the backseat and shut the door quietly, her hands trembling.
Suddenly afraid Lily might have awakened, Rose rushed back. But the apartment was quiet and Lily was sleeping.
She made a second trip, jittery as a grasshopper. She carried the box of food with her pillow on top. This time, a dog whined and yipped from behind a door. Maybe he smelled the ham. When Rose rushed down the hall, the dog went quiet.
The third trip was for Lily’s clothing.
As the car filled with their things, it began to feel more familiar, but she didn’t know if she could drive it. Were all cars the same?
Back inside the apartment for the last time, there was nothing left but her baby sister, Lily’s bottle, and her little football pillow.
In their bedroom, she whispered in Lily’s ear, “You stay asleep. I’ll put you in the car. I’ll make a nest for you in the backseat and when you wake up, we’ll be in a whole different place. Just you and me.”
Then, knowing she and Lily were going to leave forever, she went back to Iris’s room and found the picture of Iris with her big stomach. She slipped the snapshot into her pocket.
She wrapped her arms around Lily, who was much heavier asleep than awake. Rose stumbled and Lily’s bottle fell to the floor. Rose squatted, reaching for the bottle, and almost dropped her sister, who was like a beanbag, her weight shifting when Rose moved. Rose snatched the bottle and then used her leg to boost Lily up. Lily’s head lolled on Rose’s shoulder. Rose looked at the football pillow. There was no way she could get it. Lily could share Rose’s pillow.
She was just about to open the door when someone pounded on it. Her heart bounced. Had the man who took Iris come back for Lily?
Then she heard the door in the next apartment open and the sound of voices. Then the door closed and the people were inside the apartment. She nearly toppled over with relief. Quickly, she went out the door, shut it behind her, and rushed along the hall, down the steps, and outside.
They were free.
She thought the fresh air might wake Lily, but Lily was so floppy her head bounced with every step Rose took. When Rose laid her sister down in the backseat, Lily stirred, opened her eyes a crack, and then closed them. Rose tucked her bottle beside her.
Rose arranged her backpack so it put her high enough to see and forward enough to reach the pedals. Thank goodness, Iris’s car was like Ama’s—one pedal to go and one to slow.
The letters for the gears were the same too. P and D were the only two Rose knew how to use. P was for not moving, and D was for moving. She’d watched Ama enough to know that R was for going backward, but Rose hoped she didn’t need to do that.
She found a key on Iris’s key ring that fit in the keyhole. Closing her eyes, she turned it. When the beast leapt to life, a sound like a tiny scream escaped Rose.
·· fourteen ··
TRYING to stay between the lines made Rose sick to her stomach. Terror caused her to turn the steering wheel too little or too much, and the car made big scary moves or hardly did anything at all. She tried to go slow but sometimes her foot shook so hard she shot ahead and her heart nearly came out her throat. And it was so hard to see in the dark.
When a horn blared behind her she jumped and let go of the wheel as she whirled around to look. Headlights were shining in her face, and she yelled because she thought the car was going to hit them. It swerved past, honking even more.
Lily stirred in the backseat.
No, no, no, go back to sleep! Rose had to concentrate. There was another car behind her now, and she didn’t want to get honked at again. Hoping she didn’t crash, she made her first turn, but the car honked at her anyway.
She had to look out for parked cars, garbage cans lining the street, and stop signs.
A car pulled out of a driveway right in front of her! Was the driver blind? Her foot got tangled up trying to get on the brake. The other car sped away, honking again.
Rose was so hot and pressured she thought she might explode. She reached for the control pad to open the windows and it wasn’t there.
“Turn your lights on, fella!” somebody yelled as a car passed her.
Did they mean her?
Was that the problem—why people didn’t see her? Why she couldn’t see? But she didn’t know how to turn the lights on.
There was a convenience store coming up, and she didn’t see any other cars so she steered across the street and into the parking lot. She moved the gearshift to P and turned off the engine. The store was closed and she had the parking lot to herself. Her hands were trembling so hard when she took them off the wheel, she gripped the wheel again. What a stupid thing she’d done.
She pushed her book bag away and got out of the car. Her skin tingled as the air dried her clammy body. Even her hair was sweating. Her knees were shaking. She looked up at the sky. She’d feel better if she could see the polestar, but she didn’t even know which way was north anymore.
“Ose?” Lily was sitting up, looking at her.
Rose opened the back door and picked Lily up, hugging her. She kissed Lily’s hair and squeezed her closer. What if she’d crashed into something or been crashed into because she didn’t have the lights on and Lily had been hurt?
She was responsible for Lily now. She had to keep them both safe.
“I have to figure out how to turn on the lights, Lily,” she said. Her voice shook, but not too much. She had to be calm for her little sister. “And how the windows work.”
She felt Lily’s head nod.
She put Lily in the front seat for the moment and got in beside her. The parking lot lights were bright enough for her to explore the area around the driver’s seat. She found the stick that controlled the lights, though nothing happened when she moved it. But that was probably because the car wasn’t running. And she found a window control pad like Ama’s, but in a different place.
“Okay,” she told Lily. “I’m going to try this again.” She got out of the car and motioned to Lily. “Let’s put you in the back where you’ll be safer.”
Lily shook her head. When she looked at Rose, her eyes caught the light. “Illy. Ose.”
“Come on, Lily. You’re too little to sit in the front seat.”
Lily’s brows drew together.
“Okay, okay.” Lily couldn’t throw a fit now. Rose got the pillow out of the backseat and bundled it around Lily, then fastened the seat belt over the pillow. “Will you stay like that? Even if it isn’t really comfortable?”
Lily nodded.
“Okay. But you have to.”
Lily nodded again. “Bobble.”
Rose found the bottle and gave it to her sister; then she got in, fastened her own seat belt, and started the car. She made the windows go up and down, she made the lights go on and off, bright and dim. Was there anything else she s
hould check?
She hadn’t seen any other cars the whole time they’d been in the parking lot. It was so late. It should be easier to drive now.
Gas. She should have thought of that in the apartment parking lot. What if they needed gas? She didn’t have money.
She stared at the glowing circle with the picture of the gas pump. It wasn’t like Ama’s car, but she understood the meaning. The tank was almost empty.
Rose turned off the key. Lily looked at her.
“We’re about out of gas,” she told Lily. “So we need to make a plan about where to go. We can’t just drive around.”
Lily kept looking at her with such trust and love. Rose pressed her hands to her head. This was so hard.
“I guess we could just live in the car,” she finally said. “We wouldn’t need gas for that.”
The car was cozy with all their stuff in it, and they could lock the doors and be safe. But the car didn’t have a bathroom, and it didn’t have water. And Rose was thirsty. Why hadn’t she packed water? But what would she have put it in? The cheerful, beat-up red thermos Ama carried on the farm popped into Rose’s head. She shoved the memory away.
If they lived right here in this parking lot, they could use the restrooms inside the convenience store. And there would be a water fountain. But somebody might notice a smashed-up car always in the small lot and two kids hanging out in the restroom and not buying anything.
They would blend in better at the mall. Plus, it would be a nicer place to sell her paper art. Plus, there was a fountain where people threw in coins for good luck. The people didn’t need the money or they wouldn’t have thrown it away. So why couldn’t Rose and Lily have it?
“The mall is a better idea,” she told Lily.
But Lily, her bottle tucked in between the pillow and the seat belt, had gone back to sleep. And Rose was exhausted too. There was no hurry to get to the mall. She leaned back and shut her eyes for just a minute.
A siren woke her. She jerked her head up and reached for Lily, who was right there beside her and had opened her eyes. The car with the siren came very close, very loud. It whizzed past and the siren sound gradually died away.
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