Rose rubbed her eyes. The clock on the dashboard always said 12:00, and she had no idea what time it really was. Sometime in the middle of the night or very early morning. There probably wouldn’t be many other cars around, so it was a good time to go to the mall.
Lily looked at Rose with trust; then she patted her bottle and babbled something to it.
Rose said, “Okay, Lily, I’m going to start the car.” She didn’t want to drive again, but she had to. She arranged her book bag, sat up very straight, and turned the key. As the car came to life, she gripped the wheel.
They seemed to be the only car in town. Driving was a lot easier with the lights on.
At a red light, Rose asked Lily if she had ever been to the mall.
When Lily’s burst of babbling ran down, Rose said, “They have hot pretzels. And cheese.” Though Ama said the cheese had never been acquainted with a cow or any other animal. “When we get money”—when Rose got her art business going—“I will buy you a hot pretzel with cheese.”
Lily looked at Rose and clapped, which made Rose laugh. Lily didn’t really understand her.
“And there’s a cosmetics counter that smells like a whole herd of Aunt Carols.”
Lily clapped again.
“Maddy likes to go there, but I think it’s kind of boring.”
And deep down, Rose didn’t really want to live in a place that smelled like hot pretzels and fake cheese and perfume. Everything they touched there would have been touched by who knew how many people’s hands and feet and bottoms. Rose didn’t really want to live in town.
And then she knew where she was taking Lily, at least for now.
At the next street, she turned right and went around the block. Then she turned left.
As she drove past the courthouse, which had a jail in the basement—maybe where Iris was locked up this very minute—she passed a sheriff sitting in his parked car. Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest, but he didn’t look up.
By the time her heart settled down, they were through town and on the highway. The highway was straight and empty, and the lines on either side were bright, so she knew just where to drive. She speeded up a little.
Rose took her eyes off the road for a second and glanced at her sister—who she could see much more clearly because dawn was coming. It was morning. She had never stayed up all night before, though once or twice she and Maddy had tried. Just seeing the pinking sky made her feel like a winner.
·· fifteen ··
MORE cars came onto the road as the sky brightened. But they were all going the other way, toward town, so driving was pretty easy. Rose passed the familiar places. The A-frame building that used to sell carpet but was now a church with a big flashing sign about Jesus. The field where everybody came for Fourth of July fireworks. The fancy house with a white board fence where horses lived.
She looked at the gas gauge once or twice, then quit looking. Either they had enough or they didn’t. She knew better than to turn off the highway onto Swan Drive. That route would take them too close to the farmhouse. If Ama happened to be outside, she might see them. So Rose went on to Dove Lane and turned left.
This road was much trickier than the one she drove on the day she followed Ama in the truck. It was very narrow and hilly and curvy. If they met another vehicle, Rose would have to scoot over almost into the ditch. The banks were overgrown with pampas grass and wild honeysuckle and the sky was blooming into pink and orange and gold.
Lily was looking around, her eyes big. Rose opened their windows and let the morning air pour in. The honeysuckle smelled so sweet Lily began to babble—a long, long babble that sounded almost like a song. It reminded Rose of the way birds sing in the morning. Rose felt the same way. When daylight came in the country and the sky unrolled in many colors, how could a bird or a person not sing or babble?
“Lily, have you ever seen anything like it? And wait until we get to the dollhouse! Ama’s favorite flowers grow by the toolshed. You can’t see them now, but you can in August. They’re lilies, just like you.”
Lily looked at Rose and crowed something in total delight.
“And you were certainly a surprise!” Rose said, and laughed. She hadn’t laughed in a long time. “I love you, Lily,” she said. “I just love you to pieces.”
At the dollhouse, Rose drove through the tall grass behind the barn where Iris’s car couldn’t be spotted from the road. She turned off the motor.
Lily escaped from the pillow-and-seat-belt rigging Rose had fastened her into. She stood on the seat and leaned out the window. Her full diaper was about to fall off. She was barefooted.
“Oh, Lily. I forgot your shoes.”
Lily looked at her feet, then turned to look at Rose. “Soos,” she said.
Rose shook her head. “I messed up. I didn’t pack them.”
Lily’s face darkened. “Soos!”
“I had so much to think about, and we were in a hurry. And I stayed up all night. And I carried you out while you were asleep so you didn’t have shoes on.” Those were good excuses. She couldn’t think of everything.
Lily’s face grew darker.
“Please don’t throw a fit, Lily.”
But it was like saying to the thunder Please don’t chase the lightning.
“Soos, soos, soos!” Lily screamed, trying to stomp her feet. But she got tangled up in the pillow and fell, arching backward.
Lily’s head felt like a bowling ball when it hit Rose’s nose.
It really hurt, but she also felt numb. And she felt a strange pressure and then the warm wetness of blood surging out. It ran over her mouth and down her chin. She tasted it and saw it in Lily’s hair.
She turned loose of Lily, who flung herself into the pillow and kicked, her feet pummeling Rose’s legs. When blood dripped onto Lily’s foot, Lily lay suddenly still. But the barn crows had begun to scream. Several crows together were called a murder of crows, and it did sound like someone was being murdered.
Lily’s dark eyes searched for the raucous birds. Not understanding, she turned her gaze to Rose.
“Ose?” Her voice had terror in it.
Then a crow, its wings wide and its beak open, thumped down on the hood of the car and stared through the window at them, first with one eye and then the other. It continued to caw and scream, as did all its friends. Two more landed on the car.
Lily zipped into Rose’s arms like a mouse into its hole. Rose’s nose was still gushing blood and the blood was getting all over Lily. In terror, Lily tried to wipe it off, all the while pointing at the crows and screaming.
“Shhh, Lily,” Rose said, tasting the saltiness of the blood. “Shhh. They’re just big birds.” She didn’t know what else to do so she began to recite the old saying about them. “One for sorrow, two for mirth. Three for a wedding, four for a birth. Five for silver, six for gold. Seven for a secret about to be told.”
The crows were quieting down, though a couple on the barn roof were still carrying on like the world was ending.
Rose managed to get her T-shirt off while still cradling Lily. She pressed the shirt to her nostrils to quell the bleeding.
Gradually, while Lily stayed in Rose’s arms as still as a stone, even the birds on the barn roof went quiet.
The country silence Rose loved so much began to return. The dew on the barn’s tin roof dripped. Small birds went about their business.
And then she heard a familiar diesel rumble.
·· sixteen ··
AS the sound grew closer, Rose sat up, keeping her T-shirt pressed to her nose. What was Ama doing here?
The sound of the engine quit and Rose heard the truck door open. The next thing she knew, Myrtle was flying through the passenger window of Iris’s car and bouncing and spinning with excitement. Lily squirmed even closer as Myrtle attacked with love.
Rose had forgotte
n how Myrtle smelled. She smelled like clover.
Then, as quickly as Myrtle had leapt in the window, she leapt out and made the single yip that said all was well.
Then Rose’s door was opened and she almost tumbled out, but Ama caught her.
“Rose!” Ama cried, alarm in her voice. “You’re hurt! Oh, my girl. You’re bleeding. You’re both bleeding! What happened? Where’s Iris?”
“In jail! A man came and got her last night! She stole something!” Rose knew she was yelling, but so many feelings were churning around inside they had to come out in yells.
Ama looked so shocked it scared Rose. White-faced, Ama stared at them. “Are you both hurt? What happened?”
Rose’s nose was bleeding again and she pressed it with her T-shirt, which muffled her voice. “Lily threw a fit because I forgot her shoes and she accidentally bashed my nose with her head. That’s what’s bleeding. My nose. Lily isn’t bleeding, she just has my blood on her.”
Ama still looked terrified.
“We’re okay,” Rose said. She was holding Lily, which was hard, so she gently put her down. But Lily twined around Rose like honeysuckle.
“Let’s get you onto the porch,” Ama said. “And see about your nose.”
Ama put her arm around Rose and helped her toward the house. Rose felt as if all her bones had been removed, and she just wanted to be in Ama’s pocket. She wanted Ama to take care of her.
Lily stayed wrapped around Rose’s leg, saying, “Owie, owie,” with every step.
Rose remembered. “We have to carry Lily because she’s barefooted.”
Ama turned loose of Rose and bent to pick up Lily, but Lily shrank back.
“It’s all right, Lily,” Rose said. With her frightened dark eyes and blood everywhere, Lily looked like a wild thing. “This is Ama.”
Ama scooped Lily into her arms. Lily allowed it but kept her eyes on Rose.
“Let’s sit in the swing,” Ama said when they got to the porch.
Myrtle lay at their feet, and Ama kept Lily on her lap as they sat down. Lily really smelled a lot like pee and she had blood all over her. Rose wished she could have been clean and sweet-smelling and dressed in something cute.
Ama took the bloody T-shirt out of Rose’s hands. “Lean your head forward,” she said, “so you don’t swallow blood.”
She’d been swallowing blood? She felt light-headed, like she might be sick.
“Rose,” Ama said, patting her leg, “pinch your nose together like this.” Ama demonstrated. “Lean forward and do that.”
Rose did and gradually the drips of blood slowed and she began to feel better.
“Just keep pinching,” Ama said.
It felt so good to be home. Lily was looking at Myrtle with interest. She seemed to have forgotten she was sitting on a stranger’s lap.
“How much longer?” Rose asked.
“Just a few minutes,” Ama said, rocking the swing gently. “Then we’ll see if it’s stopped.”
Myrtle got up and kissed Lily’s bare foot. Lily yanked it away and looked at Ama.
“She likes you,” Ama said. “Her name is Myrtle.”
Myrtle’s ears pricked.
“Myrtle,” Ama said again.
Lily touched her chest. “Illy,” she told Myrtle. “Ose,” she said, touching Rose.
Rose felt such a welling of hope that she overflowed with tears. Didn’t Ama see that they had to keep Lily?
Shortly, Ama told Rose to stop pinching and see what happened.
When Rose took her fingers away, her nose felt weird, as if the blood might start flowing again.
“So far, so good,” Ama said. “We’ll just sit here awhile and make sure it’s stopped.”
Lily slid off Ama’s lap and sat down beside Myrtle. Myrtle sniffed her diaper. Rose didn’t mean to laugh, but she did.
“I put her in the car while she was asleep. I don’t think she has pajamas. And then I forgot her s-h-o-e-s.”
“You’ve had a lot to think about the last couple of days,” Ama said. “A lot of responsibility.”
“How did you know we were here?” Rose asked.
“Myrtle. She must have caught your scent or heard your voice. In any case, she started going crazy. I had no idea what was wrong. Then I heard the commotion with the crows and came to find out what was going on. Since Myrtle was acting happy instead of aggressive, I had a feeling it might have something to do with you. I was just getting ready to come and get you at Iris’s apartment. If Iris was taken away, does that mean you were alone last night?”
Rose nodded.
Ama hugged her. “And I guess you drove all the way out here.”
Rose nodded. And it had been so much harder than she thought it would be.
“That was Homeric.” Ama kissed her head. “It was also very dangerous.”
“I know.” Rose was lucky a bloody nose was the worst thing that had happened.
“You’re a very brave girl.”
Rose felt fluffed up. Ama could always make her feel that way.
“I saw a lot of stuff in the backseat,” Ama said. “What is all that?”
Rose told her.
“Were you going on the run?”
“We were maybe going to live at the mall, but I decided I didn’t want Lily to live in town.”
Ama didn’t say anything for a long time. Then she said, “Well, I’m really glad you came here. It’s where you belong.”
Did Ama mean Lily too?
Lily was exploring Myrtle the same way she explored the mouse book—forward and backward—finding all four of Myrtle’s paws, touching them and looking at them, now and then saying things to Myrtle in her babble that Myrtle seemed to understand perfectly. Lily looked under Myrtle’s tail, which Myrtle allowed. Myrtle showed Lily her speckled belly and her teeth. She even let Lily look at her gums.
“Rose, I’m sorry I said those terrible things. I’m sorry I—”
Rose shook her head, tears flooding her eyes. She needed time to catch up with herself. She held up her hand for Ama to stop talking.
“Okay,” Ama said.
And they sat in silence.
Finally, Ama said, “Let’s go home and get you cleaned up.”
Rose nodded.
·· seventeen ··
THEY stacked all their stuff in the laundry room. Myrtle kept looking at the box with the ham in it. Rose didn’t have to worry about enough food for her and Lily now, so she opened the box and fed Myrtle a piece of ham.
“Thanks for finding us,” she whispered.
While the bathtub filled, she took off Lily’s diaper and lifted her into the tub. They didn’t have bubble bath or tub toys. Then she remembered. Her old bathtub toys were in a mesh bag under the sink.
She dumped the toys into the water and then took off her own bloody clothes and got in.
She lay back until only her face was sticking out, then held her nose and slid all the way under. She listened to Lily’s splashing noises. It felt so good to not be running or lying or hiding or planning or driving. To be home and tucked under Ama’s wing again. Had she really been so hurt and angry she’d run away? But if she hadn’t run away, she might not have found Lily. She might never have had the chance to get to know her mother a little.
When Rose surfaced for air, Ama was in the room gathering up bloody clothes. Rose heard the washer filling.
“Lily is playing with your old tub toys,” Ama remarked.
Rose nodded. “Were they anyone else’s before they were mine?”
Ama sat on the edge of the tub and looked at each one. “Only this one,” she said, picking up the turtle toy. “It was mine. I remember Annie winding it up for me when I was little. Or maybe I only think I remember that. Maybe I actually recall Annie telling me about it.”
Ama twis
ted the tail to wind it up, and then she put it in the water and turned it loose. The big turtle with the baby on her back kicked her legs as she swam through the water until she bumped into Lily’s belly.
Lily snatched the toy out of the water. “Ose!” she said. “Illy!”
Rose laughed. “If you say so.”
Ama smiled. “And history repeats itself,” she said. “How do bacon and eggs sound? And I picked a few strawberries yesterday.”
Fresh eggs and nice crispy bacon sounded heavenly. “I’ll bet Lily has never had a strawberry right out of the garden,” Rose said.
After Ama went to the kitchen, Rose cleaned Lily’s body with a washcloth and shampooed her hair. Rose was so glad to be home, but Ama had said they couldn’t keep Lily. And Rose understood now how much trouble babies were. But Rose had to keep Lily. She’d found her and she had to take care of her.
* * *
When Rose and Lily were dressed and sitting side by side on the bench around the kitchen table, Rose tilted her empty plate to the light. She could see her reflection. Squeaky-clean dishes were amazing. She caught Ama looking at her and put the plate down. But she noticed her glistening fork and spoon in a new way too.
Ama had also set a fork and spoon for Lily, who sat very close to Rose. Rose hoped Ama didn’t mind that Lily ate with her fingers.
Lily gazed around the kitchen, her eyes going to the windows. Tree branches moved in the wind, showing patches of bright blue sky. Her brows furrowed, she looked up at the high ceiling, where a fan turned slowly. When the clock began the chimes her eyes widened, and as it bonged nine o’clock she looked at Rose with worry in her eyes.
“It’s okay,” Rose said.
Lily was still hanging on to the bathtub turtle. “Illy. Ose,” Lily said, showing it to Rose again.
“I made some phone calls while you were in the tub,” Ama said.
Rose felt like her heart had been dropped in ice water. She stared at Ama. Was this about Lily? Had Ama called someone to come and get Lily?
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