Hold Me Cose: Ryker Falls Series

by Vella, Wendy

  “AP has a spare bike.”

  “I’ll give it a miss, but thanks, and I’m all good.”

  “He still has stabilizers on his bike,” Joe added.

  “Offer’s there if you want it.” Mr. Goldhirsh turned back to his friends, and they were soon in a discussion about group sets, tire widths, and how many idiot drivers there were on the road.

  Fin wondered if he was wrong about Maggs as he sat there drinking his coffee and listening to Joe annoy Ted. Strangely, his gruesome discovery wasn’t taking precedence in his mind, for the first time in days. What was going on with his feisty redhead? Because while he knew what the others had said was likely true and she could be tired, he had a feeling there was more to what he’d seen. He just had to find out what.

  Chapter Four

  Maggs got inside her house before the panic attack really hit. Her chest felt tight, and she was struggling to breathe. Fighting her way through the waves of anxiety and fear, she focused on breathing deeply, slow and steady. She then started to count out loud.

  After about twenty minutes, she felt calmer. Tired, but calm. These attacks were exhausting. She headed for the kitchen and drank a glass of water, then walked through her house on shaky legs.

  “Be strong, Maggs. Find the woman you’ve always been.”

  She chanted these words as she reacquainted herself with the house that had been her first step toward independence. It was small, two bedrooms and a compact kitchen, but the reason she’d bought it was the conservatory. With windows on three sides, it had spectacular views of the twin mountains, Phil and Roxy, named after the founding father’s twins.

  Maggs couldn’t see much as dark was closing in, but she felt them. The large, comforting presence had always been there.

  Silence waited for her outside. On the trails leading up those mountains, she would find solitude and space. Something London had not given her. Here she would heal; she had to. Any other option was not acceptable.

  Taking another deep, steadying breath, she noted her hands no longer shook, which was a good sign.

  The house smelled musty, but that could wait until tomorrow. She’d open windows and clean then, but not now. What she wanted now was sleep.

  Heading back outside, she opened the trunk on her rental and took out her luggage. Not much after two years away. She’d brought a few things to remind her of London. Mementos, and clothes. The artwork was being shipped home.

  She’d just walked back inside and shut the front door when the sound of a car door slamming reached her. Maggs knew who it was, and felt both excitement and fear at the prospect of seeing her friends.

  “Open this bloody door, Maggs!” A fist pounded on the wood.

  Inhaling deeply, she let out the breath slowly before heading back to the front door. Genuinely excited about seeing two people who were like sisters to her, she found a smile and opened the door.

  “What the hell are you doing back here without telling us you were coming?” These words came from Piper Howard. Tall, dark-haired, with green eyes, Pip was strong-willed and a friend who would stand by you no matter what you’d done. Married to Dylan Howard, with two children, she had been in Maggs’s life since school, as had the other woman with her.

  Maggs was grabbed and squeezed, and she squeezed right back.

  “Oh, Maggs, it’s so good to see you.”

  Bailey Trainer was next, and her oldest and dearest friend. Married to Joe, also with two kids. They’d been close in school, and never lost that connection even when Bailey had left to study piano at Juilliard. Blonde, gentle, and very sweet; Maggs felt the tears fall as her friend stepped forward and hugged her.

  “It’s good to see you, Bailey.” She felt some of the old Maggs return. These were her people and loved her, as she did them. This would help her to heal.

  “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming? I would have stocked up and cleaned,” Bailey said when she’d released Maggs.

  “I wanted to surprise you.”

  “Well you certainly did that,” Piper said. “Now move out of the way. We’re coming in, and we have supplies. We’ll help you get sorted.”

  “I’m all good, Pip. I thought I’d just make the bed then fall into it.”

  “Did you travel from London to here without stopping?”

  “I’m pretty sure I stopped in a few places.”

  “Ha.” Bailey stepped in and hugged her again. “I missed you.”

  “Missed you too.” And she had. Her friends were important to her, and being held by them was a wonderful thing.

  “Well then.” Bailey eased back. “We have bread, milk, and a few other things to get you through till you can do a shop. We’ll help you get sorted in here, then you can go to sleep knowing nothing needs doing when you wake up.”

  She didn’t fight it; there really was no point.

  It took an hour, and the house smelled less dusty. Pip had vacuumed while Bailey started the washing and unpacked the groceries she’d brought with her into the kitchen cupboards. It felt normal and so damn good. She felt more of the woman she’d been resurface; it made her smile.

  “What?” Bailey asked her.

  “I’m just so pleased to be back here with you.” Maggs felt the tears. “I missed you guys.”

  “We missed you too. And I’m not letting you off that easy. You haven’t called, emailed, or messaged in months,” Bailey said.

  “Sorry, I had a crazy time of things. The months were manic. I decided I wanted to come home, and then suddenly there was so much to do.”

  “Months of work?”

  “Okay, maybe not months, but you know me. I was never very good at nonverbal communication.”

  “True that,” Pip muttered, unpacking another bag of groceries.

  “Have you got anything left in your house?”

  “Just a few things,” her friend said. “Go and sit, and I’ll bring tea and then you can go to bed. Tomorrow will be soon enough for wine.”

  She did as she was told, because suddenly her legs felt wobbly with fatigue.

  “So, why are you back?” Pip said the words when they all held steaming mugs and were seated in her living area.

  “It was time.”

  “Time for what?”

  “To come home.”

  “Why was it time now?” Pip demanded.

  She was the tough friend. The one who asked the questions Bailey thought but couldn’t voice. Piper Howard never took a backward step when going forward was an option.

  “Is there a problem with me coming home now?”

  “Of course not. We are excited you’ve returned. What Pip is asking is what made you decide to come home now.” Bailey was always the peacemaker. Always the one to smooth troubled waters between her fiery friends. Pip and Maggs had once been alike, both opinionated if they believed in something. They spoke up if it was required. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be strong again.

  “I was ready to come home.”

  “You’ve lost weight,” Pip said. “And you’re quieter. More subdued.”

  Best acting job of her life, she reminded herself. She could tell them, of course, but was reluctant to do so. She’d talked about the incident constantly with doctors since the day it changed her life. Coming home to Ryker had been about putting it behind her, a new beginning, and by talking about it she wouldn’t be doing that.

  “Give me a break. I’m tired, and thanks, I needed to lose a few pounds. And there is nothing else going on with me other than I’m exhausted, but very happy to be home.”

  “If you say so.” Pip was studying her. “How about that attack you were in. Have you recovered from that?”

  “Completely,” Maggs lied.

  “That was horrible. We read about it here and saw some footage someone took on their phone.”

  Maggs had seen that too, and it had sent her to hell all over again.

  “You’re lucky you weren’t hurt. Not sure how you escaped when pretty much everyone else in there got
injured or worse,” Pip said.

  “It was terrifying, but it’s over, and I hate talking about it. Now will someone tell me what the hell musical chairs for adults is about?”

  Pip’s mouth twisted into a snarl. “My dear mommy-in-law came up with it.”

  “I find that hard to believe. Mrs. Howard was never one for having fun.”

  “Ha, true that, but she thinks it’s time her daughters found their life partners, and this is a nudge in the right direction, Dylan says.”

  “How?” Maggs was fascinated. Small town life could be many things, but boring was not one of them.

  “Apparently it’s going to be some kind or mating ritual, according to Dylan. I’m a little fuzzy on the logistics, but I think you have to share a chair with the same man right until the end, and it’s a chance to do that with the man of your dreams. Dear mommy-in-law has decided she wants her daughters to marry locals now and give her more grandchildren, so this is the start of her campaign to secure that.”

  “Get out.” Maggs whistled. “She’s hoping to get all that from musical chairs? Why not just set them up on a blind date?”

  “That would be easier, but she sees this as more subtle.”

  “Who are the men she’s picked?” Maggs asked.

  “Only she knows that. It’s all part of a bigger plan, Dylan says. Unfortunately for Mary Howard, her children are now friends and have discussed it, so her cunning plan will fail.”

  “I love this town,” Bailey sighed.

  “I missed it,” Maggs said and really meant it.

  “In more gruesome news, Fin found a femur on the mountain a few days ago,” Bailey said.

  “A human one?”

  “Yup.”

  “Poor Fin.”

  “It was gnawed clean by something, he thinks.”

  Maggs shuddered.

  “Chief Blake and Fin are keeping quiet about it, which is annoying, but until they ID who it belonged to, they can’t say much anyway,” Pip added.

  “Can you ID someone from their femur bone?”

  “I don’t know but can’t see how you could. Fin’s coordinating searches to try and find the rest of the remains,” Bailey said. “The Linbar family are hoping it’s their youngest son. He went missing three years ago, and there has been no sign of him since.”

  “I remember when that happened. The Linbars weren’t my favorite peeps, but still, I can’t imagine what that would be like. I mean, just to have your son there one day and gone the next. Noel, the eldest child, took it really hard,” Maggs said.

  “He’s on the town council,” Bailey added. “Not sure why, as we hardly see him in town.”

  “Must have been hard on Fin finding something like that,” Maggs said.

  “Yes, but according to Joe, Fin’s handling it like he usually does, calm and controlled. It’s not like he hasn’t found bodies up there before,” Bailey added. “This is a bit different, of course.”

  “What really grinds his gears, however,” Pip added, “is the local paper running stories like, ‘Fin Finds a Femur.’ Plus, the locals won’t leave him alone, constantly asking him questions.”

  “I can imagine how he hates that,” Maggs said. She knew what this town was like, and how relentless locals could be in the pursuit of news. “Okay, enough on that topic. Now tell me about your children. I’m so excited to meet them all.”

  The sisters-in-law didn’t hesitate, as she’d known they wouldn’t. Parents loved talking about their offspring.

  “Gracie is terrifying everyone at school now. She’s full of energy and, according to Dylan, going to be the president one day, as she’s the smartest kid he’s ever met… that was until Blake arrived,” Pip said. “Now we have an astrophysicist and a future president.”

  “Benjamin is gentle like me, but Ella is all Joe,” Bailey said.

  Maggs cradled her mug and listened as they talked. She loved to hear the happiness in their voices, even if inside she felt a tug of jealousy. One day, she told herself.

  “The Ted and Mandy thing threw me, I’m not going to lie. I mean, I knew there was something there, but I’d been gone only a few weeks and they were in love, and all that drama happened from her past.”

  “That was scary,” Bailey said. “Ted was like a man possessed when she went missing.”

  “It’s lovely to see those two all loved up,” Pip said.

  “I bet. I’m looking forward to seeing the improvements at Tea Total. So what else has been happening?”

  “Mr. Goldhirsh and Aunt Jess are now married and living at the ranch.”

  “I know, I’m sorry I missed that wedding.” And she was; Maggs loved those two people.

  “Fin has been away visiting his sister, as she had a baby,” Pip said.

  “Where are his family?”

  “Maine. I don’t know the details, as Joe won’t tell me no matter how hard I hit him. But I think he’s estranged from them in some way. Anyway, he went to see his sister and came back frowning and grumpy with a new Harley Davidson.”

  “Wow, cool, but he’s always grumpy,” Maggs said, thinking about the man she saw when she arrived back in town.

  “Fin? No way, he’s happy most of the time. It’s just with you he’s grumpy, because you guys have always had that thing.”

  “What thing?” Maggs asked Pip.

  “The attraction thing that you both deny.”

  Her eyes swiveled from Pip to Bailey and back. “What?”

  “Oh, come on, you don’t think we haven’t noticed,” Pip scoffed.

  “She’s just returned, Pip. Maybe this isn’t a conversation for now,” Bailey stepped in.

  “It’s not a conversation for anytime,” Maggs said. “You cannot be serious, me and Fin?”

  “All right, calm down, and yes, I am serious. You asked, and I told you. If you say it’s not true, I believe you,” Pip said. “But I think it’s a good match, and it would tie things up neatly.”

  “And let’s be honest, my aim in life is to tie things up neatly for you all.” Her throat felt tight.

  “And there she is, the sarcastic redhead we all love,” Bailey said.

  It felt good to hear those words; it meant she could be that person again, even if for now she was acting.

  “You’re probably right,” Pip mused. “Fin has way too much emotional baggage to make a stable partner.”

  “He’s a good guy,” Maggs said. “But not my good guy. And we all have hang-ups, Pip. Some just have a few more than others.”

  “True that.” Pip got to her feet. “And now we need to leave you to sleep. But we’ll be back, because you need help getting your Christmas tree up, plus we have two years to catch up on.”

  Pip hugged her hard, Bailey hugged her gently, and then they were gone.

  Maggs showered, then fell into bed. Lying there, she thought about the pills she’d left behind in London. Cold turkey, she’d told herself. No more meds. Her mind whirled with thoughts, and she wished she’d not been so rash now.

  It would take her time to be the person she was… well almost was. She’d never be completely whole again. That day six months ago had changed her beyond recognition. It had given her a fear she’d not even known it was possible to experience.

  Chapter Five

  Fin wandered down the main street of Ryker Falls. It was cold, the air puffing from his mouth as he breathed. He’d spent the last two days searching more of the mountains, and still no sign of the femur’s owner.

  They’d had a dump of snow, and Bas from the garage, who also ran the secondhand store, had been through town clearing the roads with his plow. Christmas music belted out of the stores, and he guessed soon he’d need to look at buying some gifts. He always spent Christmas with the Trainer family and their extras. He’d never made the trip to spend it with his.

  “I’ll drop those muffins by later, Fin. It’s a new recipe I think you’ll like.”

  “Hey, thanks, Pearl. That has my mouth watering, I’m not going to li
e. You want me to drop by and fix that guttering?” he called to the elderly woman who was striding by him in black ski pants that swished as she walked. On top she wore a thick pink sweater, and her headband matched.

  “I’d be grateful. I’ll make you a chicken pie; you just let me know when you’re coming!” She lifted a hand in a wave and continued striding down the street as if it wasn’t peppered with snow and ice.

  “The seniors in this town,” he muttered. They put the younger generation to shame with their energy.

  “Morning, Fin!”

  Turning, he saw Mr. Goldhirsh and his wife, Joe’s aunt Jess. Where Mr. Goldhirsh was thin, she was a sturdier build. Long gray hair was braided, and a hat pulled low to her eyebrows. She was one of his favorite people.

  When he’d arrived, she’d welcomed him, let him move into her house, and simply accepted Fin into her family. Three Trainer nephews, her own daughter, Pip, and him. Those had been some of the best days of his life.

  He’d learned to laugh there. Love and laugh, he amended.

  “Morning, Goldhirshes. What are you doing out here in these temperatures?”

  Aunt Jess moved in and hugged him, as she always did, even if she’d seen him an hour ago. He inhaled her scent. Home cooking and love.

  “We’re hardy stock, boy. This is bracing for the likes of us,” Mr. Goldhirsh said. For once he was in trousers, a thick jacket, and woolen hat rather than sports clothes.

  “How’s the injury?”

  “Coming along, and the cycling helps.”

  “Not sure how it could. All that flying about in freezing conditions minutes away from mortal injury,” Fin teased him.

  “No stamina, you young people. It’s the thrill, Fin. Makes a man feel alive. That and the love of a good woman.” He leaned down and kissed Aunt Jess. She swatted at his chest, but her cheeks were pink.

  More people loved up. It was enough to put a man off his breakfast.

  “You sleeping okay, Fin?” Aunt Jess asked him.

  “I am.”

  “The femur business had to be nasty on you.”

  “It was only a bone, Aunt Jess, I didn’t find a body.” Yet, he thought. “So I’m all good, but thanks for asking.”