Rush

by Deborah Bladon

  I slide my fingers over his cheek until they’re resting on his chin. I tilt it so his eyes meet mine. “I want you.”

  His heated gaze travels over me. “I’m yours.”

  Forever?

  That question lingers on my tongue, but I know I can’t ask it because the answer will spear me. It will break me.

  “Take me to bed,” I whisper.

  Without a word, he takes my hand in his, kisses it, and leads me down the hallway.

  Chapter 55

  Case

  She moans when I stroke my tongue over the seam of her sex.

  I take that as a challenge to lure another orgasm from her. She came once as I licked her. It was intense with her fingers clawing at my hair, tugging it, pulling it, and drawing pain to the surface.

  But it couldn’t compete with what’s happening inside of me.

  My heart is aching.

  Never in my life did I think I’d fall in love. That has to be what this is.

  I’d sacrifice everything for Emma. I’d step in front of a moving bus if it meant she’d get another minute on this earth.

  “Case.” My name escapes her in a long-drawn-out sexy-as-fuck groan. “You need to stop that.”

  “Never,” I say.

  It’s a lie. It’s the only lie I ever want to tell her.

  I can’t promise her anything more than tonight or a day or two more.

  “Stop,” she whines. “Please.”

  I do because I sense that she needs my arms around her more than she needs this.

  I crawl up her body, taking my time to plant kisses on my journey.

  One on her hipbone and another on the curve under her belly button. I press my lips to the tender spot between her breasts before I glide my tongue over her neck.

  “I came,” she announces in a whisper. “Could you tell?”

  I settle in next her, drawing her into my chest. “I’m bald. You pulled out all of my hair.”

  That lures a laugh from her. “You’re not.”

  “I wouldn’t care if I was.” I rest my cheek against hers. “If it brought you pleasure, I’d walk around without any hair.”

  Her breathing quiets. “It’s your turn, but don’t pull out my hair. I like it.”

  I huff out a laugh. “Is that how this works?”

  I feel the nod of her head against me. “That’s how it works.”

  “I don’t want it to be my turn.” I kiss her forehead. “I want to feel you come again. I want to be inside you.”

  She inches her way over me, her lush body pressed against mine until she’s on top of me. “We can try it like this.”

  Staring up, I take in the vision of her nude body. Her nipples are swollen into hard points. Her cheeks are flushed pink from the orgasm.

  My heart rams against the wall of my chest.

  Love hurts. It’s true – love fucking hurts.

  I reach to the nightstand to grab a condom. Ripping open the foil packet, I feel her eyes glued to my every movement.

  Sliding back onto my thighs, she gives me space to sheath myself. She watches intently, her eyes glued to my cock.

  I reach out to guide her back when I’m ready, but she’s already moving. Before I can register what’s happening, her tight heat is enveloping me.

  “Oh, God,” she moans. “This is…”

  “Fucking amazing,” I groan. “More, Emma.”

  She sinks lower, taking more of me. “It’s so good.”

  It’s damn good. It’s so damn good that I have to shut my eyes because watching her face as she sinks onto my cock is chasing me to the edge.

  She starts on a slow rhythm. It’s gentle glides of her body over mine.

  I hold her waist to temper her movements, because fuck me , this is more than any man can bear.

  “We have to do this again,” she purrs. “Over and over.”

  I can’t form a response because every nerve ending in my body feels exposed. I’m close to coming already.

  I crack open an eye to see her brushing her tongue over her bottom lip. Her eyes are closed. Her head lulled back in ecstasy as she rides my cock.

  Small moans escape her with every movement she makes.

  I spear up into her. That sets her back into an arch.

  My hand slides to her clit. I finger it, pushing, circling, luring her closer to the edge because there’s no way in fuck I’m going to last.

  “Case.” My name spills out of her in a breathless rush. “I’m going to…”

  Before the word falls from her, I come. I curse as she follows me into it, and when her pussy clamps around me, my eyes tear because this is everything.

  This is pure and honest intimacy with a woman who has opened my heart and given it another chance to feel.

  I pull her onto my chest and hold her there so she can hear the pounding of my heart.

  It’s her heart.

  It belongs to her, and regardless of what happens tomorrow or a year from now, that’s a fact that will never change.

  Chapter 56

  Emma

  “You left me in bed so you could play a game on your phone?” Case accuses with a laugh. “What the fuck, Emma?”

  I glance over my shoulder to see him coming down the hallway toward me. He’s wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs.

  Wow.

  I turn my phone’s camera to face him. “I should get a picture of this.”

  He stretches his arms out at his sides. “Have at it. I have no shame.”

  I snap a quick picture before I add it to my Printe order.

  Drake will probably be coming back to Manhattan soon. That means I’ll be heading to Seattle with him and Jane to fill my folks in on everything that’s happened.

  I want to print out the pictures I’ve taken on this trip to add to an extra scrapbook I have at my condo. I’ll label it my life-changing scrapbook since the life I’m facing in the future is completely different than the life I had before this trip.

  Case drops onto the couch next to me, craning his neck to see my phone’s screen. “Is that the Printe app?”

  I turn my phone toward him. “It is. I’m putting in an order. Do you have a coupon code?”

  He huffs out a hearty laugh. “Hold off on that order until you’re on staff. Free Printe prints are a perk for Cabbott employees.”

  I glance back at the screen and hit the order now button. “I can’t wait.”

  Dropping my phone on the leather couch between us, I glance at his face. “You were fast asleep. What woke you up?”

  His lips part, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he shoves a hand through his hair. “What woke you up?”

  I don’t have an answer to that question either. My mind quieted enough after we made love that I was able to sleep for almost two hours.

  When I woke up, I needed space, so I came into the main living area.

  My time with Case is coming to an end unless he offers me a job at the Cabbott office in San Francisco.

  “I’m not sure,” I answer with a shrug.

  He leans forward to scoop my bare legs into his lap. I’m wearing his white shirt again, but this time only one button is done up.

  Running a hand over my skin, he sighs. “I had a dream about you.”

  My mouth curves up into a smile. “Tell me about it.”

  Glancing at me, he grins. “You were singing, of course.”

  “Of course?” I question with a fake scowl. “What does that mean?”

  “You always sing to me in my dreams.”

  My breath catches in my chest. “Do you dream of me often?”

  “Since I met you, yes.” He glances at the windows that overlook Madison Avenue. “Before that, I had other dreams.”

  “What dreams?” I question even though I doubt he’ll answer.

  He’s holding something painful inside. I see it whenever I look deeply into his eyes. It might be masked by happiness now because of us, but it’s still there below the surface, gnawing at him
, consuming him.

  His gaze drops to my legs. He runs a finger over one. “Dreams about my brother.”

  “What’s his name?”

  His hand stops. I see the sudden shake in it. Reaching forward, I place mine over it.

  “Apollo,” he whispers. “My brother’s name was Apollo Easton.”

  ***

  I wait for more, but the only sound that fills the silence is the beat of raindrops against the window.

  I rest my head on Case’s shoulder, trying to comfort him, so he knows that I’m here. I’ll listen. I’ll understand.

  “In my dreams, he’s eighteen.” He closes his eyes. “I think when someone dies, they never age in your dreams. They always look and sound the way they did the last time you saw them.”

  I bite back the urge to cry because that’s not what he needs. He needs strength. “What was he like?”

  “He was nothing like me.”

  I smile because I doubt that. Case must have an influence on every person he meets. He’s had an incredible impact on me.

  “It was a long time ago.” His hand inches over my knee. “I don’t want to forget him. I never want to forget him.”

  “You won’t,” I offer even though the memory of my grandma has faded over time.

  He looks at me. “He would have liked you, Emma. He probably would have liked you more than he liked me.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “That’s hard to imagine. You’re pretty likable.”

  His gaze wanders to the window again before it levels back on me. “Come back to bed. The rain will help us fall asleep.”

  I place my hand in his. “Lead the way.”

  He does.

  We crawl into his bed, and with his arms wrapped around me he drifts off. I watch him sleep with a new understanding of why sadness has taken root in his beautiful green eyes.

  Chapter 57

  Case

  I swore that I’d never tell a woman about my brother.

  Guilt has kept his story locked inside of me for years.

  I couldn’t even get the words out to the people I worked with at Cabbott Mobile.

  Drake handled it.

  He handled everything after I found Apollo’s lifeless body. He let me stay at his apartment until I moved into this place. He made sure I ate at least once a day. It was Drake who sorted through my brother’s belongings and took care of all the arrangements I couldn’t think about.

  I glance up from where I’m sitting at the dining room table when I hear Emma’s footsteps approaching down the hall.

  I left her in my bed. She was curled up, fast asleep.

  I got up to work on my laptop, but that requires concentration, so everything that needs my attention is still waiting.

  “Good morning,” she whispers when she rounds the corner.

  Good morning indeed.

  She’s a vision wrapped in another of my button-down shirts. This one is light blue.

  I’m tempted to ask her to toss all of her clothes out and only wear mine.

  “How are you?”

  The compassion in her voice slices through me. She’s a kind soul. Her heart is in the right place.

  I knew that the conversation that I started last night wouldn’t end when we fell asleep. She’d want to know more. I want her to know more, but it’s going to take time, and we don’t have a hell of a lot of that left.

  Drake will be back in Manhattan soon, and I’ll take off for California.

  I imagine Emma will need to settle up her life in Seattle before she starts working at Cabbott.

  I glance at the screen of my laptop and the information that I’m gathering in a document to send off to one of Cabbott’s lawyers. She’ll plug the details into a standard contract for Emma to sign.

  I decided on the salary we’ll offer and the perks.

  It’s the location of the job that I’m stuck on.

  I want her in San Francisco. I want to continue what we’ve started. Maybe, last night was the first step toward that.

  “I’m fine,” I say. “How are you, Emma?”

  “Tender.” Her hand dives to cover her mound. “Last night was intense.”

  “In a good way.” I wave her over. “Sit in my lap.”

  She pads over on her bare feet. With a yank on the hem of my shirt to pull it down, she settles on my lap. The only thing separating us is the boxer briefs I’m wearing.

  Her hand falls into my hair. Running her fingers through it, she smiles. “I know last night wasn’t easy for you. I mean the sex was easy.”

  I let out a chuckle. “Pleasing you is easy. I’d do anything to make you feel good.”

  “I want to make you feel good too.” Her lips brush my forehead. “Your body and your heart. I want to make every part of you feel good.”

  Including my conscience?

  When I glance up and into her eyes, I see that she means everything she just said. “When we first met, I wondered if you knew about Apollo. I wondered if Drake had told you.”

  Her fingers trace a path across my forehead. “He didn’t say a word. I had no idea that your brother had passed away.”

  The words are as peaceful as Apollo’s death was.

  What came after was the brutal part.

  “He moved to Manhattan six weeks before he died.”

  Her breathing stutters. “He moved into this apartment with you?”

  Fuck. I wish that had happened. I wish every goddamn day that we would have had time here together.

  “I was living in a walk up on the Lower East Side.” I close my eyes, willing the wave of memories to retreat.

  I rented the apartment when I first settled in New York. It was a month-to-month two bedroom with a sticky lock on the door and a refrigerator that couldn’t keep anything cold.

  I had money in my pocket, but fear kept me from spending it until my younger half-brother wanted something.

  “Apollo came to Manhattan after he was accepted to Fordham University.” I take a breath. “The kid was an ace at baseball. That was his ticket to the scholarship he earned.”

  Right after Apollo died, everyone who visited my grandfather in San Francisco to offer condolences, rushed him through his memories of Apollo. They wanted to know what took his life. The death of someone so young is often more about that one moment than all the time they spent living.

  “What position did he play?”

  The question catches me off guard. I’ve never been asked that. Drake never bothered to ask that.

  Emma is putting value in who Apollo was; not on how he was taken. “Pitcher.”

  “Some would argue that’s the most important position on the team.”

  That lures a smile to my mouth. “Pol would agree with you.”

  “Pol,” she repeats his nickname. “Did he like it when you called him that?”

  “He fucking loved it.” I tilt my head back to steal a breath. “His dad left before he was born, so it was my grandpa and me that raised him. I was Rush, and he was Pol.”

  There’s no question about my parents waiting to be asked. Drake must have told Emma that my father was killed in a motorcycle accident was I was three. My mother left when Pol was a year old. She fucked off with some random she met who had a fat wallet and a dislike for kids.

  My grandfather stepped in and saw to it that my brother and I had everything we needed.

  I’ve returned the favor the past few years. He lives a half-mile from me in his own beach house. It’s smaller, but it suits him fine.

  It’s the ocean that is the draw for both of us. It’s where we feel closest to Pol.

  Silence settles between us, but it’s comfortable. Emma rests her head against mine.

  I want her to know what happened to my brother as much as I want to forget.

  “I went to work early one Tuesday morning.” I squeeze her tighter, wanting to keep her in place while I get the words out. “When I came home from work that afternoon, he was gone. He was still in his bed.”


  She presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’m so sorry, Case.”

  “He was supposed to go to Fordham that day for orientation, but he never made it.” My voice cracks. “Pol died in his sleep of a seizure.”

  Chapter 58

  Emma

  I hold Case in my arms.

  Words can’t do justice to the loss that he experienced, but if I can offer comfort through my touch, I want to do that.

  “Apollo wanted to live here.” He tilts his head until our eyes meet. “His dream was to live in a fancy place with a doorman and a killer view of the city.”

  I run my fingers over his cheek. “This apartment fits that bill.”

  “We looked at it together.” His gaze surveys the room. “Two minutes into the tour, he was nudging me in the side and telling me this was our new home.”

  I don’t have to ask why. Case’s brother was as impressed with the apartment as I was when I first saw it.

  “I put an offer in that day. It was accepted,” he pauses briefly to shift me in his lap. “Sixty days after that, we were supposed to move in.”

  Apollo died in the interim.

  I glide my hand to his neck and then his shoulder.

  “I tried to get out of the deal after he died, but Drake convinced me to move in.” He swallows. “He thought it was a good way to honor Pol’s memory, but every day I lived in this apartment felt like hell on earth.”

  “I’m sorry.” I rest my head against his. “I can’t imagine how painful that must have been.”

  His lips find my cheek for a soft kiss. “I tried to drown the pain. I drank too much at the bar across the street, and then I’d bring a woman home and…”

  I don’t ask him to finish the sentence because I don’t want to hear about him and other women.

  “I reached my breaking point one morning when I woke up next to a woman I didn’t know. I picked her up at the bar across the street the night before.”

  I listen intently because I know that confessing this can’t be easy for him.