Daughter of Ethos

by L M Lacee

  Later that night or very early the next morning, Peyton wandered the passageways of the silent ship unable to sleep. Something was nagging at her, but she could not put her finger on what it was. Instead, she walked around thinking over the day, it had been filled with more things to learn. She had visited with as many females and Warriors as she could until after lunch when Melody had dragged her to training. Which she was thinking was more for her amusement than to teach her anything.

  In the late afternoon she had enjoyed watching people who received one small injection, then all of a sudden started speaking Coalition. She frowned as she wondered why no one would allow her to administer any injections, she would have been good at it. Although now she thought on it Melody and Netta had not administered any either.

  She tapped her link; it seemed to have another glitch dayam it, she would have to ask Darby to calibrate it once more. Maybe, that was what was making her stay awake because she knew Darby would think she had dismantled it, which she had not at least not yet.

  Sighing she shrugged, whatever it was that was annoying her, would come to light at some point.

  Eventually, as she had known she would, she ended up in the viewing area she was rapidly claiming as hers. She had heard people named it the Star Lounge because they always saw stars shooting starlight or falling through space from the large windows.

  Peyton knew the stars were commonly called traveling stars. The displays of shooting starlight and acrobatics was their way of signalling their pleasure in her emergence. Basically, they were showing off for the Star Daughter.

  She sighed and sipped her coffee; the walk had relaxed her, smiling she decided she was happy. Probably because the tension she had lived with for the last few months was gone.

  Hawk, cup in hand walked into the lounge and sat in the chair, catty corner to her couch.

  ‘Greetings, Madam Peyton.’

  ‘Greetings, Commander Hawk. Do you think we could dispense with our titles and just use our first names?’

  ‘I think we could.’

  ‘Good, because Hawk. I consider us friends or at least a good way to being such.’

  ‘As do I, Peyton. Now what keeps you roaming the passageways of my ship?’

  She was not surprised he knew what she had been doing, she was coming to suspect that Commander Hawk Roeah was a very special male. ‘I could not sleep and why are you awake?’

  He sipped his tea then said. ‘I require little sleep. I am glad I found you here, I was hoping to talk to you!’

  ‘About what?’

  He shifted in his chair. ‘I feel you know so little about us, as I know so little about you and your family.’

  ‘Huh, okay I understand that but I will not talk for my sisters or the ladies. I will tell you about me, and you can tell me about you. The other Warriors, I will find out about as I get to know them. Just as you will the females that are going to be important to our lives, now and in the future.’

  Hawk nodded, it was no less than what he expected when he had decided to talk to her tonight. ‘I can live with that.’

  Peyton grinned at the very human saying, she stared at the handsome male who was covered in a sadness that clung to him like a thick cloak. ‘So Hawk, tell me, why are you sad, deep down sad?’

  He smiled and closed his eyes. She did not play with words and was direct and perceptive. He liked that about her the most, and he was finding he liked many things about Peyton St. Hill.

  ‘I am one of four brothers. We know this because we had our DNA tested to make certain, as you can imagine we trusted nothing our creators told us.’

  ‘I can imagine, what are your brother’s names?’

  ‘Kardaran, Reevedaran and Wolfdaran.’

  ‘Wait… wait, they all have daran on the end of their names, do you?’

  Hawk sombrely nodded and told her. ‘I do, my full name is Hawkdaran.’

  ‘You do not use that form of your name, though?’

  Anger entered his eyes as he agreed strongly. ‘I do not. In fact none of us do and we have not for longer than I can remember. I do not know why I gave you our old names. It is I assure you, not how we think of ourselves.’ He shook his head saying. ‘This may not have been a good idea!’

  Peyton grinned. ‘Oh, it so is and you know why. So tell me where were you raised?’

  ‘Our housing was designated complex E. Which stood for Elite. There is ten of your years between each of my brothers and myself. Kardan is the eldest, next is Reeve then Wolfe and then myself. We are as you already know Elites. The only ones we ever heard of that are related. We were separated many yentas ago and I have not seen or felt my brothers in the universe since then.’

  A yenta Peyton reminded herself was what a year was called in Coalition. ‘I see, how old are you actually?’

  He smiled, relaxing the muscles in his body as he took a soft breath in. ‘I am over five hundred of Earths years old.’

  ‘Wow!’

  ‘You are shocked?’

  ‘A little, you look about thirty-five, so are there more Elites. Other than you walking around the universe?’

  Hawk sighed as he said. ‘I hope so but I have felt none.’

  ‘Oh, I am sorry, that must be lonely.’

  ‘I have my squad and my Warriors.’

  Peyton left it there, asking instead. ‘So you were trained to be a Commander?’

  She could see the loss in his eyes as he finished his swallow of tea and said. ‘No, my brother Kardan was, in saying that we all were given training to become knowledgeable in command. Reeve was Kardan’s second and a battle master. Wolfe and I were back up, I think the term is tacticians and Warriors of exception.’

  ‘Sounds right. So, there are just the four brothers in your family?’

  ‘No, we were raised with another male, he was not blood related. I still do not understand what their point in having him raised with us was.’ He seemed to withdraw into himself, it was as though he needed a minute, to go over the reasons why the male had been raised with him and his brothers.

  Peyton thought by the look on his face it still confused him. He seemed to shake himself as he resumed talking. ‘He is what you would call my best friend.’

  She murmured. ‘Or brother of your heart.’

  ‘Yes.’ He nodded and smiled a little. ‘His name is Dinas; I had heard, he took another last name, losing the one they gave him. I was told he was with my brothers at the time of his death. Now of course I have my suspicions as to all their supposed deaths. We as Elites have many and varied abilities which we honed and used for war. It is very hard to kill one of us. I assumed it must have been a cataclysmic event that took the life of my friend and brothers. I have spent yentas trying to find out where and when they died. Now I see I have been searching in the wrong direction, I will alter my search parameters to accommodate the new information.’

  ‘I think that would be a good idea and at least you have hope, they are all alive now.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose that is correct.’

  Peyton asked. ‘So what kind of schooling did you receive? I think it was very different to the education we received on Earth.’

  He nodded. ‘That is so, my brothers and I, in fact all Warriors were bred for war and taught to fight. We fought from the time we came out of the tubes at around five yentas old. Battlefields were our playgrounds. We teethed on mock battles and were disciplined in many ways for what they considered a failure. We learned all there was about the craft of warring and sadly not much else. They did instruct us to read, write and speak Coalition. We received many lessons as we aged, as long as it made us more effective on the battlefield or for other duties such as guarding diplomats and royalty. I wish we could have received what Lady Darby devised, which truthfully would have been quicker and easier.’

  Peyton bet he wanted to say and less painful but did not, probably he thought she would not understand, sadly she did. He took another sip of his tea then continued. ‘Regardless, we were taug
ht about other cultures, their strengths and weaknesses, all so we could do our work better, kill better, destroy our enemy better. It is always necessary to know your enemy’s weaknesses before you attack. We were raised in an austere blood filled world, where the weak or slow did not survive. I hated every min of it as did my brothers.’

  His face was a mask of anguish if he had but known it. ‘Softly he continued. ‘I remember blood and pain. Battles that lasted for days, wekens even, and fear. I remember my brothers and Dinas as my constant companions as we were taught to endure, to fight, to hate and to kill… Always to kill.’ His voice drifted away as he stared out of the window. With his face turned from her he said. ‘I should explain, when our training was complete. We were called on to quell uprisings and rebellions as well as many, many other missions, which I do not wish to talk about or remember. Kardan was called on to be the Commander- in-chief, which is I think how you termed it?’

  ‘Correct, it means the highest Commander there is.’

  ‘Yes, that was Kardan, and he did it well. What I understand of command. I learned from him and the best lesson he ever taught me was, Warriors depend on their Commander to keep them safe and not throw their lives away. I have tried to do this. It is unfortunate I have not always done well.’

  She sighed. ‘No one can all the time Hawk. From all I have read and studied about command. We do the best we can, when we can.’ Changing the topic, she asked. ‘As an Elite, you were schooled to kill efficiently and in many ways, right?’

  He turned back to her and inclined his head in the affirmative. ‘We were, and each of us has specific gifts. For example, my body is a weapon. They made it so that my sweat and blood will kill. I can poison food, water and the air of my enemy. Direct contact kills immediately.’ His whole body was tensed waiting for her condemnation or worse her fear, what he received was a grin and soft words. ‘Good to know, easy Hawk I trust you. I know you have immense control.’

  ‘Thank you, it was hard won but I do.’

  He looked closer at her and saw not hate or revulsion just acceptance and once again he placed his amazement away to look at later.

  She tipped her head to the side and said. ‘I will make them pay Hawk for what they did. They had no right to raise children to do their dirty work and absolutely no right to hold you captive. They were and are cowards, and I will make them pay!’

  He said nothing as he finished his tea and realized she spoke the truth and it was a revelation, he asked himself, were they really cowards? It was a concept he had never looked at before more to himself than her, he asked. ‘You really believe that?’

  ‘Oh yes, very much so and I will remind them of that fact. It is after all, who I am!’

  He nodded and placed his cup on the table then after another few minutes he asked softly. ‘Now you, Peyton, your life. What was it like growing up on your blue and green planet?’

  She smiled. ‘I would really like to say it was heaven and for some before the Virus, it probably was. Unfortunately, like you. I was born into blood and war. My mother was addicted to many substances. My father, if I ever actually had one, because it has remained unclear if a male gave me life or I was also created in a laboratory.’ She shrugged at his surprised look. ‘Whichever it was, no one claimed me as their own, so let us for the sake of our conversation say I never had a father. I had many… many uncles and pretend papas.’

  She let him think over what she had said as she drank her coffee, when he realized what she was saying he nodded. ‘I see.’

  Peyton grimaced. ‘Anyway, I think my mother had made us live in just about every city in the Americas. I am sure this was when the Virus was into its first yenta. Eventually, she decided we should move to live near her parents, my grandparents. I was around five yentas old. It was a decision that ultimately saved my life. Now I look back on it I think she was scared, people were rioting or dying in the thousands wherever we went. Runnerdale and the surrounding towns were quieter and reasonably safe back then.

  One eve my mother came back to the motel, sorry that is what you would call a Hutell. We had been staying there for about six months… sorry luneras; she arrived back and was very drunk and high.’

  At his puzzled look she explained. ‘Filled with alcohol and nartos. Also, I think she again owed money to the wrong people.’

  Peyton blinked several times, a trick she had learned as a child to make sure she stayed in the here and now. Rather than be swallowed by the memories that wanted to return her to that sad and depressed motel room. Where there was always the smell of blood, it had followed them wherever they went, hers or her mother’s it all smelled the same. Just when Hawk thought she was not going to continue, she said. ‘She sold me to a male. I think she had been with him for a few days, how much she got for me I have no idea. Probably a bottle of alcohol and nartos.’

  Hawk tensed as the implications of what she was saying registered. ‘She sold you to a male, an adult male?’

  ‘Yes, even on my planet it happened. She had been away for hours, I can’t remember when I had eaten last, probably at my grandparents days earlier.’

  Peyton mentally winced, it was so hard to keep the memories at bay. The terrifying fights her mother had with men and women usually over drugs. The incessant screaming her mother could do for hours and worse the sex, so much sex. She had learned early on to hide in closets or under a bed or behind something when her mother brought one of her partners back with her.

  Her mother did not care if she saw or witnessed her depraved activities, it made no difference in her strung out mind whether her daughter was there or not. Peyton would rock, plug her ears with her fingers, and hum songs so she did not hear or see anything.

  Then there was the hatred her mother seemed to have toward her parents. No one understood why she hated them, there did not seem to be any reason behind it. Other than they would not give her what she wanted, when she wanted it. When Peyton became an adult, she realized Clementine St. Hill was incapable of love. So eaten up by drugs and alcohol, her heart was as cold as her dead soul.

  Her grandparents were such nice god-fearing people who had no understanding of why or how their only child could become this demon from hell as she heard her grandfather call her mother once. Peyton smiled wanly at Hawk as she continued with her tale. ‘Sorry, got lost there for a min.’

  He nodded, sorrow for that little girl filled his heart. He thought of telling her she had broadcast her thoughts loud enough for him to hear, but could not bear to do so, knowing she would be shamed.

  ‘My mother came back that night, and she was angry, drunk and probably high. I knew if I was not careful I would wear the brunt of her anger. I was such a skinny five- yenta-old, sometimes I worried I would not be fast enough to get away from her and she would kill me.’

  She shook her head dislodging memories. ‘I cowered in the corner of the room, hoping she would pass out before she remembered I was there and thankfully she did. I say that because what I did when the male turned up, I did not want to do to her.’

  ‘What did you do?’ He asked, but he knew and hid his sadness for what she had endured.

  ‘When the male walked into the room, I did the only thing I could do for a child that refused to be his toy. I shot him.’ She pointed to the spot between her eyes. Hawk raised his brows. ‘An exceptional shot for a little one.’

  She smiled, it did not reach her eyes. ‘More luck than design really, although I had practiced for many days with the gun, sorry projectile blaster, my mother owned. My grandfather was an excellent marksman he taught me well.’ Peyton’s voiced hardened. ‘I was no one’s toy, not then and not now. I suffered enough at my mother’s hands. I was young, but I knew what he was there for and I was not going to accommodate him.

  Later when my mother begged the authorities to believe I was responsible for his death. They did not because the preponderance of evidence all pointed to her. She was found guilty and thankfully I was given to my grandparents.’


  ‘Tell me Peyton, what occupation did your grandfather have?’

  ‘He was a trooper or what you would call an Investigtor.’

  Hawk smiled as he said. ‘I see!’

  She smiled too, then her voice softened as she spoke of her grandparents with love and respect. ‘My grandparents were wonderful loving people. Who loved me and showed me every day I was worthy and had value, regardless of my life before them.’

  She touched the small gold ring on the last finger of her left hand. ‘This was my grandmother’s wedding band.’

  He nodded letting her know, he knew what that represented on Earth. ‘My grandfather passed away when he contracted the Virus, my grandmother lasted for another three yentas. She missed my grandfather like Esther misses her Harry but… and I say this with love, she was not as strong as Esther. Before she died, she asked me to always wear this to honor them both.

  It keeps me balanced and reminds me there is love in the world or I should say the universe now, and that there are good people everywhere.’

  Hawk asked casually not letting her see how affected by her story he was. ‘How old were you when she went to the afterlife?’

  ‘I was halfway through my sixteen yenta.’

  ‘You have been on your own a long time?’

  ‘I was, I chose not to live with anyone after grandmother passed away. Until Melody, Darby and Heather fell into my heart and then walked into my home and made themselves comfortable.’

  Hawk smiled along with her, she sighed as she quietly said. ‘You have to remember there were many like me without parents or an adult in their lives. We banded together for the necessities of life.

  Some already knew how to cook, and some of us taught ourselves to grow enough food to keep ourselves alive. We traded for just about everything and kept each other safe. It was a hard life but on the whole safer than what I had started with. I raised myself like many of us did back then. I knew how to find information and to read and write thanks to my grandparents.’

  Hawk said casually. ‘I know you are exceptionally intelligent. The information about the drives, you read and absorbed that, and I would say you actually know how the Comparium engine works.’