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Fair Lakes Series Box Set

Page 42

by Kaylee Ryan, Lacey Black


  I don’t reply. I want to. I want to pound on my chest like a caveman and scream those words at the top of my lungs. I want to throw her over my shoulder, carry her up to my room, and make love to her until we’re both too exhausted to move. Instead, I lean in and kiss the corner of her mouth. “Love you,” I whisper before pulling back. “You want me to take him?” I change the subject. I know she’s not ready to say the words back and I’m okay with that. I’ve had a long time to come to terms with how I feel for her. She’s been fighting a lot longer. I’ll give her all the time she needs.

  “Yeah, his playpen is over there.” She points over her head at the edge of the couch, where the playpen sits in the same spot I put it this morning before I left for work.

  Carefully, I lift him from her arms and cradle him to my chest. He stretches his little body but snuggles right back into my hold. I stare down at him in awe. I can’t believe this little person is part of me. I wish I could remember that night. Not for the connection with his mother, but it makes me feel like shit that I can’t even remember the night I made my son. Shaking out of my thoughts, I walk to the playpen and softly lay him inside. I stare down at him, making sure he’s going to stay asleep.

  “Hey.” Her arms wrap around my waist from behind. “You good?”

  I turn to face her, holding her close to my chest. “Never been better. Thank you for staying with me. Not here in our home, although I’m thankful for that too, but for staying by my side through all of this.”

  “No place I’d rather be.”

  “It’s still hard for me to wrap my head around it. I see it in his eyes, in his nose, but I can’t remember it. I feel like I’m in some alternate universe. I mean, shouldn’t I be able to remember even a glimpse of… that night?” I ask, not really wanting to talk about my time with another woman with the love of my life, but that’s the situation that we’re in.

  “Most people have more time to adjust to the concept of being a parent. You didn’t get that time.”

  “I don’t know, Gabs. It just doesn’t feel real to me.”

  “We’ll know soon enough. I called today and made your appointment for tomorrow; they had a cancellation. I took care of your schedule. The results take two to three days to come back. We should know for certain this week.”

  “You moved my schedule?”

  “Yeah. I assumed you would have noticed it today.”

  “Yeah, about that. The only thing I noticed was the time on the clock and how much longer until I got to come home to you. To both of you,” I add, thinking about the baby sleeping just behind us.

  “Well, we’re glad you’re home.”

  “Me too, baby. Let’s go eat before it gets cold and the little guy decides it’s time to wake up.” With my arm around her shoulders, we walk side by side to the kitchen where I left the Chinese food. We stand together at the island in the center of the kitchen, not even bothering with the stools.

  “You love me,” she says, taking the items out of the bag. I don’t think she even realizes she said it, and I know why she’s saying it, but the words still ring true. All the way to my soul.

  For the first few minutes, we’re both quiet as we both scarf down our food. “How was your day?” I ask once I stop shoveling in my food to take a drink.

  “Good. Gwen and Sophia came to visit. They wanted to meet Milo.”

  “I bet Soph loved him.” I smile as I think about our niece.

  “Oh, she did. Gwen’s finally decided she’s not going back to work.”

  “Damn, I bet Harrison is thrilled. I know he wanted her to stay home but didn’t want to choose for her.”

  “Yeah, she wants to spend as much time with Sophia as she can. It wouldn’t surprise me if they announced baby number two soon.”

  “Me either.” I chuckle. “I know he’s more than ready.”

  “She is too. She says no more than three, but you know how they are. Chances are they’re going to have their own baseball team.”

  “I don’t know about that, but I do know they both want more. They’re great parents.”

  “They are. Speaking of, Gwen volunteered to watch Milo during the day while we work.”

  “Yeah? What did you tell her?”

  “Nothing. I told her I had to talk to you first. I thanked her and told her we would let her know.”

  “Why? Gwen is the perfect person to watch him. They can make some extra money with her not going back to work, and we can trust her with him. It’s a win-win in my book.”

  “I agree.”

  “Okay, what am I missing here?”

  “Nothing. I just didn’t want to make the decision for you. He’s your son, Chase.”

  This situation could not be anymore fucked up. “Gabby.” I wait for her to look at me. When she doesn’t, I try again. “Gabby, can you look at me?” This time she slowly lifts her gaze to mine. “We don’t know if he’s my son.” She opens her mouth to argue, but I hold up my hand to stop her. “We don’t know. Sure, he looks like me, but damn it I don’t remember sleeping with her. I just don’t know,” I say, shaking my head. “However, if he is mine, that means he’s yours too.” Abandoning my food, I turn to her. Placing my hands on her hips, I set her on the counter and step between her legs. “I’m in love with you, Gabby. Not because you’re here helping me take care of that little boy in there, but because of you.” I place my hand over her heart. “I love waking up with you in my bed, and I love coming home to you even more. Whatever happens, I need us on the same page with this. If I am his father, Laura left him with me. You are a huge part of my life, and I need you on board with me with this. If I’m his dad, then I want you to be his mom. She gave up her rights, so we can look at adopting, whatever it takes, but never, not for one second think that I don’t value your thoughts or opinions on Milo. Hell, on life.”

  Leaning in, I kiss the corner of her mouth. “I’m in love with you, Gabrielle. I want to build a life with you. That includes you being a part of his life too. That means I trust you to make decisions that are best for him, for all three of us.”

  “It wasn’t my place,” she whispers.

  “It is your place. We’re making that determination. Right here. Right now. I trust you. If that little boy in there is mine, I trust you with him, and to make decisions for him. We’re a team.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay,” I repeat. I feel lighter knowing that she knows where I stand with Milo and her. She’s in his life, in our lives, and her opinions matter to me. “Now, if you think Gwen is a good fit, then let’s call her and tell her thank you.”

  “I do. She’s a wonderful mom.”

  “I couldn’t agree more.”

  “We don’t need her tomorrow. I scheduled you out the entire day for the test. It’s only a few hours, but I know we have some more things we need to get for him, and I thought we could sit down and make some notes for the attorney. You know, like what you remember from the night, the letter she left with Milo, things like that.”

  “No need for explanation. An entire day with you was all the information I needed.” I kiss her this time, pressing my lips to hers, tasting her, trying to convey with our kiss what she means to me. Her phone rings, which has me pulling away. She grabs it from her back pocket and grins showing me Gwen’s name on the screen.

  “Hello,” she answers. “Yeah, we just talked about it. He’d—” I pinch her leg slightly. Not enough to hurt her, but enough she gets why. “I mean, we’d love for you to watch Milo for us.” The “us” is hesitant, but she’ll get there. “Not tomorrow, we have the paternity test, but the day after?” She listens to Gwen on the other end. “They said two-to-three days for the results. We’re hoping Friday so we don’t have to wait until Monday to hear. Although, this isn’t physician ordered, so if the lab is open on Saturday, we could probably still get the results. I’ll have to ask them when we’re there,” she says, more to herself than to Gwen. “Yeah, I’ll keep you posted. Thanks, Gwenny.”

&
nbsp; “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For taking care of all of this. For finding childcare for us, for scheduling the test. The list goes on and on. Thank you for not running, for staying by my side through all of this.”

  “You’re kind of stuck with me, Callahan.”

  “Promise?” I ask, my voice is teasing, but my meaning is anything but.

  She rolls her eyes, my sassy girl. “Sheesh, you’re high maintenance. Yes, Chase, I promise I’m not leaving. Now, can I finish my dinner?”

  “I thought I was your dinner.” I wag my eyebrows and she bursts out laughing. Immediately, she clamps her hand over her mouth as we both still and listen for Milo. “Sorry,” she whispers.

  “Finish eating,” I say, reaching for her box of orange chicken and handing it to her. “I need to cuddle you on the couch. It’s been a long-ass day.”

  She takes a huge bite and makes a production of chewing while rolling her eyes. I just laugh, grab my food, and continue to eat as well. By the time we’re done, Milo is waking up. I handle the diaper change while Gabby makes him a bottle, then the three of us cuddle on the couch while he eats. It’s the perfect night at home with my family.

  Milo only woke up twice last night. I think he knew Gabby and I needed some sleep. She caught a brief nap before I got home yesterday, but she was still exhausted. It has everything to do with the fact that we’re both getting tested today. That in a matter of forty-eight hours or so, we’ll know for sure if I’m his father. When I opened the door Sunday night and found him, I was scared as hell, for multiple reasons and sure there was some kind of mistake. Now here I am sitting in the waiting room of the hospital lab and sending up silent prayers that he is mine.

  Sure, I wish Gabby was his mom, but I meant what I said to her last night. In my eyes, she will be. As far as I’m concerned, Laura lost her rights to him when she left him on my doorstep and sped off. I can at least be thankful it was my doorstep she left him on and not some stranger, or worse. I don’t even know if my name is on his birth certificate. I make a mental note to add that to the list of items for the attorney.

  “Hey.” Gabby places her hand on my shaking knee. “You okay?”

  “Yes. No. I don’t know, Gabs. I’m nervous as hell. I mean, what if he’s not mine. What happens to him then?” I look down at the sleeping baby in his seat where he sits on the floor between us.

  “He looks just like you, Chase.”

  “Babies change in their looks all the time. It’s possible he’s not mine.” I look over at her and she smiles softly.

  “They do. We’re taking this one day at a time, Chase. As of right now, that’s all we can do. If he’s—” She stops and swallows hard. “If he’s not your son,” she manages, “we’ll hire the best lawyer and have him help us.”

  “Help us what?”

  “Adopt him,” she says, as if it’s the easiest, most simple answer in the world. “You want him to be yours, and I have to admit I’m attached to the little guy. Either way, his mother doesn’t want him.” Her voice cracks. “You can give him a home.”

  “Chase Callahan,” a nurse calls, ending our conversation.

  “You want me to come with you?”

  “Yes. I might need help with him. I’m not really sure what to expect.” I stand, grabbing the handle of the car seat in one hand and Gabby’s hand in the other. Having her here with me, it not only makes it less overwhelming, but she makes it feel as though everything is going to turn out all right. Like as long as we’re together, we can do anything.

  Adopt him.

  I’ve never really thought about what if he’s not mine, not to the extent of what happens to him. Not until I woke up with him at 3:00 a.m. Feeding him as he cuddled against my chest, my mind had wandered. If I’m not his father, what happens? Where does he go? Will they take care of him like we do? Will they know that he likes to be swaddled tight and that he sometimes takes a while to burp? Will they know that he hates baths unless you sing to him? Can we really adopt him? Would they let us do that? Legally?

  “Right this way,” the nurse says, pulling my attention back to the present. “Have a seat.” She goes through the motions of asking me my identity. “This is a simple procedure. We just have to swab your cheek.” I watch as she pulls on rubber gloves and grabs a swab and what looks like a long test tube. “Open wide.” I do as she asks and within seconds, she’s placing the long swab into the test tube. I watch as she writes her initials on the tube that has a label with my name, today’s date, and some other numbers.

  “Now this little guy.” She turns her attention to Gabby. “Mom, can you please confirm the baby’s full name and date of birth?”

  “Milo Callahan,” Gabby says, not missing a beat. She rattles off the birth date that was written at the bottom of the letter like he was her son.

  “Great. Mom, if you’ll hold him, this will be fast,” she assures us.

  Gabby cradles Milo in her arms as the nurse quickly and efficiently swabs his cheek. He fusses, but Gabby gets him to calm down quickly as soon as it’s all over.

  “That’s all we need. These are usually back in two to three days.”

  “With Saturday being day three, is there still a chance we’ll get the results before Monday?” Gabby asks.

  “Actually, the front desk should have set you up with an online account.” She looks over at me.

  “They did. Will the results be there?”

  “Yes. We won’t give them out over the phone. You can log into your online account, and we will also mail you a copy of the results. You can also come into the lab during open hours with proper ID and obtain a copy of the results,” she explains. “If you opt for the online results, there is a delay as to when that information is logged into the system.”

  “Thank you so much,” Gabby says.

  “You’re welcome. Down the hall and to the right is the exit. Have a good day.” She leaves the room.

  “Let’s get out of here, bud,” Gabby tells Milo, strapping him into his seat.

  “Waiting is going to suck,” I say, picking up the seat once Gabby has him strapped in.

  “Yeah, but at least we’ll be certain and can move forward from there.”

  “You might need to distract me,” I say, leaning down and kissing her swiftly.

  “I can handle that.” She grins and my cock twitches just at the thought of all the ways she can distract me.

  “First, we shop. I want to buy Milo a swing. Sophia loved hers when she was tiny, and I think he will too.”

  “Sounds like a plan. Just tell me where you want to go.”

  “Target. They have the one I want. I called them yesterday and they have several in stock.”

  I can’t help it; I laugh. “Why am I not surprised?”

  “Hey.” She smacks playfully at my arm. “I can’t help it. I researched them and so did Gwen. They have a high safety rating.”

  “I trust you, Gabs. You think he needs it we’ll buy two of them. I’m out of my element here.”

  “Target it is.” She smiles.

  “Target, then food,” I say, following her out of the room and down the hallway.

  “We just had breakfast.”

  “That was two hours ago,” I point out as we make our way to the truck.

  “Is your stomach a bottomless pit?” She lifts my shirt. I take the opportunity to flex my abs and she throws her head back and laughs. “You don’t need to impress me, Callahan, I’m already hooked.”

  “Never hurts to offer a friendly reminder,” I say, tugging up my shirt and flexing again. A little black sports car drives by and lays on the horn.

  “You’re going to cause an accident. Put those away.” She playfully scolds me, but I can hear the amusement in her voice. She bends down to talk to Milo once we stop next to the truck. “Daddy thinks he’s funny,” she says in a silly high-pitched voice.

  My breath stalls in my chest momentarily. Daddy. How long is it going to take me getting u
sed to hearing that? If you had asked me a week ago, I would have said, sure, when Gabby’s ready, we’ll have a baby. Now today, standing here in this parking lot, I want nothing more than this little boy to be ours. Not just mine but ours.

  “Let’s get you in the truck,” she says, taking the seat from my hands.

  I let her take him and slowly inhale and exhale, pulling the air back into my stalled lungs. “It’s going to be a long few days,” I say, placing the diaper bag on the floorboard and closing the door.

  She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head against my chest. “It is, but we’ll get through it. No matter what happens, we’ll figure it out.” She looks up at me, and I see it in her eyes—her resolve to stand by me. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I called the pediatrician that Gwen takes Sophia to, and we have an appointment Saturday morning. They’re working us in.”

  “What? Is he sick?” I start to worry there’s something wrong that I missed.

  “No, he’s fine. I just thought he should be checked over by a physician. I found a shot record in the bottom of the diaper bag, that luckily contained his date of birth. Thankfully, Laura thought about that. They’re working us in when I explained the situation.”

  “That’s a good idea. I should have thought of that.” There is so much to this parenting gig.

  “We’ve had a lot going on. I actually didn’t think about it until yesterday when Gwen mentioned it was almost time to take Sophia for her check-up. She’s dreading her getting more shots. Although, she did say it’s worse on her and Harrison than it is on Sophia. As soon as she picks her up, she stops crying.”

  “Uh, Gabs.” She looks over at me from the passenger seat. “I’m not sure I can do that. Take him for shots. When Soph cries, I give her to you or back to her parents.”

  She laughs. “You do, but you don’t when it comes to Milo. He’s cried this week and you’ve handled that fine.”

  “Yeah, but there wasn’t someone stabbing him with needles either.”

  “Wait, is this about Milo crying or you, Mr. Big Man, being afraid of needles?”

  “Both.”

 

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