by Katy Kaylee
“By the way, Lucas, I’m more of an Americano kind of gal now.”
With that, she stepped away and the door closed, locking me in the elevator with my fiercely pounding heart and viciously intense lusting thoughts. I wanted to slam her against the wall, I wanted her to push me down onto a bed and climb on top of me.
I wanted to kiss her until she saw stars.
Instead, I took a deep breath, taking a sip of my coffee and walking out onto the floor where Oliver and I had our offices. I realized, walking through the open space, that the third, empty office was soon to be hers, and that would bring her even closer to me.
“Hey,” Oliver said, coming to the door of my office as soon as I had taken my jacket off and pulled my bag off my shoulder. “You have a minute?”
I grabbed the small toy basketball off of my desk and threw it at him, watching as he took a shot on the backboard and rim against the opposite wall. The ball bounced off of the rim and he made a displeased noise in the back of his throat, before getting the ball and shooting it again.
“So,” he said, a couple of nothing-but-net shots later. “I wanted to talk to you about that new hire. Torryn Williams?”
My chest was hot suddenly, and I tugged at the tie around my neck, suddenly feeling like it was too tight. Oliver watched my movements carefully and I stopped, bringing my hands to my sides and trying to give him a nonchalant smile. I knew it was too late - I had already told him too much with my body language.
“Sure,” I said, fighting to keep my tone even. “What do you need to know?”
“Whatever it is that you aren’t telling me,” he said, simply, swishing another shot and then crossing his arms over his chest, signaling to me that he didn’t want me to send him the rebound again. I caught the ball out of the net and worked it nervously between my hands, wondering if Oliver was going to be upset that I didn’t walk out of the interview as soon as I realized it was someone I knew.
I probably should have allowed an objective party to conduct it, but at the moment, my brain hadn’t been working at all. I thought for a moment, trying to figure out if I might be able to lie to him and convince him of something else - perhaps just that I found her attractive with none of the details about our past - but looking at his face, I knew he would know if I was lying.
I sighed, running a hand over my face and leaning against my desk. I looked up at the ceiling for a moment, then found his eyes and prepared myself to tell him the truth.
“I’m in love with her,” I said, “but it’s a long story.”
“So that’s her?” He asked like he wasn’t surprised at all. “That’s the girl you left when they enlisted you?”
I nodded sullenly and Oliver let out a low whistle.
“That is one hell of a woman, Lucas.”
“Yeah,” I said, “tell me about it.”
“So what’s your plan?”
I blinked, meeting his eyes again, not expecting him to ask me so straightforwardly what it was that I planned to do. Other than confirming with my mother that I was going to do everything I could to get her back, I hadn’t much thought through what that might look like.
“I have no idea,” I said, shaking my head again.
“Wait,” Oliver said, “so you are going to try to get her back, right? Like, you aren’t just going to let go of this obvious sign that the two of you are supposed to have a shot together, are you?”
I snorted. I should have known Oliver would be looking for fate’s design in all this. he believed everything happened for a reason. He believed that the existence of math and science were just proof of the existence of magic and fate, and in all the time we had worked together in the military, I hadn’t been able to get him to change his mind.
And now that Torryn had shown up at the place I worked, all the way across the country, I realized I probably never would get him to give up the idea that everything was meant to happen the way that it did for a reason.
“I know what you’re going to say,” he said, waving his hand at me, “that fate is garbage, but come on man! She’s right here!”
“Yeah,” I said, laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. “She is. And yeah, of course, I want to try and get her back, but I don’t know the first place to start.”
“Unfortunately for you, this isn’t my area of expertise,” he said, taking the ball from my hands, shooting a fadeaway jump shot and completely missing the basket. He opened his eyes and shook his head before glancing back at me. “Based on my experience… it’s not going to end very well, but I’d hate to see you go out without trying.”
With that, he left me in my office, struggling to get the ball out from behind the filing cabinet, where it had landed when he completely missed his shot. When I finally pulled it out, I brushed the dust off, setting it back on my desk and wondering how I was ever going to convince her to give me a chance.
Chapter 7
Torryn
Throughout the day, I was passed around between different people from the HR department and different people in other departments, all trying to give me the lay of the company. I worked my way through each of them, getting them to like me and hoping that later in my career at KGOLD it would come in handy that so many of the interns had laughed at my jokes.
Around lunchtime, a friendly woman from accounting offered to take me down to the cafeteria in the basement where most people had their lunch. It was enormous and surprisingly airy, with windows to the outside and an outdoor patio. There were all sorts of accommodations for food, including vegan and vegetarian options, and all of the available produce was marked as organic. The best part was, by being an employee at the company, you received one free meal a day in the cafeteria.
I was too busy being in awe of the amazing food choices, my mouth watering as I surveyed the area and tried to decide which one I wanted to try first, to notice Lucas sitting on the other side of the cafeteria. When I did notice him, I couldn’t help noting how his eyes followed me when I moved from the register to where my salad was being served, piled with avocado and grilled chicken.
The nice woman from accounting was talking to me nonstop as we walked to a table across the cafeteria, and when we got there I fumbled and dropped my plastic fork, bending down carefully so my skirt covered my ass tightly, but not pulling up too far. When I was standing up straight and laughing at myself with my new friend, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Lucas watching, but he didn’t catch me glancing at him.
I sat down at the table, desperately trying to remember what the woman’s name was as she leaned in, telling me all the information she thought I would need to know.
“There are a lot of little groups here,” she said, nodding her head at a few different tables as she talked. “Usually they go by department, like the public relations department.”
I looked to where she was indicating, where a group of very well dressed people were all talking quietly over small portions of salads. In the positions I had held at other companies, the employees hardly interacted with each other, as they were all anxious to get home. This was an all-new experience for me, to see employees who were fully entrenched in their jobs.
“Anyway,” the blonde woman said, and when I looked at her again I realized her name was Olivia. “Everyone will be pretty nice. You won’t get to be great friends with anyone for a while, you’ll have to work your way into a group, but everyone should be fairly nice to you. There’s only one group you should watch out for.”
I followed her gaze to a group of three women sitting across the cafeteria. They looked nice enough, laughing and talking over coffee and muffins, and I wondered what could be so bad about them that I needed to watch out for.
“They look nice,” I said, raising my eyebrows and taking a bite of my salad. It was delicious and fresh, with crisp, chilled lettuce and warm, juicy chicken. I was shocked at the quality of the food in the food court and started to realize there were a lot of people walking in off the street to eat.
&n
bsp; “Yeah,” Olivia laughed, “I’ve been here for one year now, and that’s what I said when I first got here. They looked really nice, and in fact, one of them smiled at me in the hallway once. But they’re ruthless when it comes to the bosses - they are the personal assistants for Oliver and now Lucas and they act like they own them. Like they’re gatekeepers or something. Once, Oliver praised me in a meeting and the next day I found all the lipsticks in my purse broken, my highlighter shattered in the case. I was devastated, but I learned my lesson.”
“Do things like that happen a lot?”
“I don’t know about a lot, but it’s not a secret that it happens.”
“Why doesn’t anyone do something about it?” I asked, somewhat shocked that fully grown women were behaving like this and nobody was doing anything about it.
“I mean…” Olivia started, looking across the cafeteria at them. “Everyone knows it’s them, but nobody ever has proof. And nobody dares to say anything to Lucas or Oliver because who knows what the retaliation for that might look like. It’s just not worth it. I mean, if dealing with them is the worst thing about working here, a person has still got it pretty good.”
Right as she finished talking, someone walked right up to our table, interrupting our conversation. We looked up to see Lucas standing there, looking devilishly handsome in a freshly pressed suit. I felt my breath catch in my throat, and though I was trying to get him to think I was interested in him, I didn’t appreciate my body’s all-too-real reaction to his sudden presence and familiar smell.
“Hello, ladies,” he said, nodding to each of us. I noticed Olivia’s cheeks reddening, and when I glanced across the room again, I noticed the women she had pointed out to me all watching the exchange carefully. I already didn’t trust the look in their eyes, though I decided I wouldn’t judge anyone solely based on Olivia’s word. I wanted to make my own decision about the people I worked with.
“Hello, Mr. Simmons,” I said, licking my lips and watching his eyes follow the movements. He quickly raised them to meet my eyes again, and I pretended I hadn’t noticed his fixation on my lips. Without my consent, my eyes trailed along his strong chin, jaw, and down his neck to the skin that was showing above his collar bone.
“Oh,” he said, now completely talking to me. I thought about my stunt when we had first come in, how I had pretended to drop my fork to see if he would watch me, and wondered if that was motivation for him coming over to me now. “You can call me Lucas.”
At this point, I was surprised Olivia wasn’t fanning herself. Between her intense blushing and nervous glancing she was doing across the room, I was beginning to fear that she might faint with excitement or trepidation about the women at the other table.
“Okay, Lucas,” I said, only thinly veiling my flirting tone with him. “Is there something we can do for you?”
“Actually,” he said, clearing his throat and putting his hand on the table. “Your office is ready for you to bring your things in and I wanted to show you around the top floor. Do you need help bringing things up?”
I wanted to tell him that I didn’t need his help with anything. I felt a slow rage bubbling inside, and it made me want to stand and announce to the entire room that I never did and would never need his assistance with anything, ever again.
But I just batted my lashes at him, nodding and beginning to gather up the trash from my lunch. I told Olivia goodbye, and she just lamely waved at me as Lucas and I made our way from the food court together. I could feel stares on my back, and I wasn’t sure if they were malicious or curious. I decided to ignore them for my own sanity.
“So, how has your first day been?”
I glanced over at him, immediately noticing his Adam’s apple from the side. I had the urge to reach out and trace it with my fingers, but I clenched my hand into a tight fist and shoved the urge deep down inside. I wondered if all my intimate inclinations with him came from the sudden breaking off of our relationship. When he left, I hadn’t been expecting it, and maybe my body had always been waiting for him to come back.
“It’s been okay,” I said, “there are a lot of things to learn when it comes to who everyone is and where I am going to fit in, but I think I am going to figure it out.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” he said, “I hope you know you’ll always have me if you need to come and talk to someone.”
I looked over at him again, the word “always” hanging heavily in the air between us. I didn’t know how many times he had told me that word, telling me he would always be there. And then he wasn’t. I wanted to scream at him that there was no way I could believe that, that he must have understood the irony in saying that to me, but I bottled up the rage and nodded sweetly, hoping he wouldn’t see the fury on my face.
“Thank you,” I said, as we walked into the elevator. The door closed behind us and a sense of isolation enveloped me. I could feel the tension in the air in the quiet space, and I expected him to say something. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t get the words to inch past my throat.
I wondered if he thought I had forgiven him or if he thought my being nice to him was a sign that I hadn’t held it against him. I tried to remember who I was in high school- if I would have had the capacity to punish someone and work against them in the way that I was now scheming against him.
We stepped off the elevator and I took an automatic breath, grateful for the air and that I was able to breathe again. It had been too stifling, too packed with his existence for me to hold up my facade for much longer.
I had dropped my things in the lobby earlier, as per the instructions I had received for my first day, and now Lucas helped me with the two boxes, taking them back to the elevator. The ride upstairs was silent and I wished he would say something to me to break the silence, but he didn’t. I could feel him glancing at me occasionally, but I ignored it, and I ignored the way heat pooled in my belly and my skin pricked at the thought of his eyes on me.
We reached the top floor, where there were three offices and a large reception area. There was a small room to the side with an expensive-looking coffee maker and a shining stainless steel refrigerator. The layout was open and airy and as we approached my office I realized I had floor to ceiling windows and a fantastic view of the city from my desk.
“Wow,” I couldn’t stop myself from saying, as I set the box in my hands on the desk there. I took a deep breath and walked over to the window. Lucas joined me a moment later, close enough that I could feel his warmth radiating, warming my shoulder and arm.
“Wow is right,” he said, “I never thought a city could be so ugly and so beautiful at the same time.”
I gazed out over the city, realizing how different it looked from the top floor of an executive corporate office than on the streets, shielding my eyes, squinting at the glinting, gleaming buildings. It was like the difference between cold air and hot air, both too much at once, two ends of an extreme.
“I get that,” I said, quietly, stealing a glance at him. “A lot of things can be beautiful and ugly at the same time.”
I didn’t miss the way he looked at me, and for a moment, I thought he was going to apologize for leaving me. I was thankful that he didn’t because I wasn’t sure how I would have reacted if he did.
“So how long have you been in the city?” He asked, still looking out the window, his hands clasped behind his back like a stock photo of a man in an office.
“A few weeks,” I said, “I moved first, searched for a job after.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of confidence,” he said, glancing over me, and I realized I’d gained a lot of confidence since we had last seen each other.
“Yeah,” I said, “well, I was top of my class and I’ve pulled several companies up from the ground, so I have a lot of accolades.”
“I saw those in your profile,” he said, and this time when we both tried to glance at each other, we met eyes. For a moment, I couldn’t look away, my gaze locked on his. I was reminded of high
school, when we would catch each other from across a classroom, something always hidden in those looks, something we masked with laughing and joking about the teachers.
I just nodded, knowing I had submitted all my awards and recommendations in the application. A moment of silence stretched, and I wondered when he was going to excuse himself so I could begin setting my office up.
“Would you like to go out tonight, to celebrate your first day?”
Adrenaline surged through my body, setting my fingers on fire and making my limbs tingle. I whipped my head around, not believing his bravery, that he had just come right out and asked me on a date after everything that had happened between us.
I swallowed down the shock and anger, rolling my lips into my mouth and trying to take a deep breath. If I wanted to continue with my plan, to make him feel the way he made me feel, I would have to do this. I had thought it might take longer for him to cave, but this was the golden opportunity for me.
I nodded slowly, running a hand through my hair.
“Yes,” I said, “that sounds nice.”
“Okay,” he said, clapping his hands and taking a step back, toward the door. Suddenly he looked just as he had all those years ago, a nervous, shaky boy. I wanted to reach out and wrap my hands around his to steady them, but I kept mine steadily at my sides. “I’ll catch up with you at five.”
As soon as he left, my mind was racing with what to wear for the date, and I couldn’t stop my heart from positively pounding in my chest, desperately trying to break free from its cage and finally end me.
Chapter 8
Lucas
I sat at my desk, agonizing over which restaurant to take her to. There were two that were my favorite, that I thought would impress her. I wanted to wow her, to sweep her off her feet and convince her that I could be the perfect date. I wanted to gain whatever forgiveness I could get for what I had done to her.