RUINED - The Price of Play: Everhide Rockstar Romance Series Book 2

by Tania Joyce

  “I have nothing to say to you.” She checked her watch again.

  “I do. Please?”

  “Fine.” She rolled her eyes and waved him inside.

  He followed her toward the kitchen, past her sofas and the coffee table covered in an array of fashion magazines and sketch pads. Were they what fell onto the floor? The four-seat dining table by the window looked never used, and a half-eaten pizza lay in its open box on the kitchen counter. His belly grumbled at the site of the pepperoni pizza, but no, he had to talk to her first.

  Grabbing onto the back of the nearest kitchen stool, he turned to face her.

  She ambled toward him with her arms crossed and stopped at the edge of the counter. “So, what do you want?”

  He leaned awkwardly against the stool. It was too low to rest his hips against. It spun when he placed his hand on it, and he nearly toppled over.

  He gave up and just stood. “You look good.”

  No, she looked hot. Any guy would notice her.

  Ow. He didn’t like the thought of other guys trying to hook up with her. “Where are you going tonight?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but to a new wine bar in the West Village.” She lifted her chin. “Time’s ticking. What did you want to say?”

  His mind hazed. Where was her banter, her quick retorts? This would be harder than he’d thought. He just had to be honest. “I want to apologize. For Rio. For not calling. For everything. I screwed up, Kar. Can I do anything to make it up to you?”

  “Yes.” Defiance hardened her gaze. “Leave.”

  He stepped toward her. “I can’t do that.”

  She slid back a foot. “Why not?”

  “Because I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “You have to.” The chill in her voice stabbed him through the center of his chest. “Hunter, let’s be serious. We’ve been through some real shitty months, and we’ll be bound by that forever. But it’s time to put whatever was or was not between us to an end.”

  “End? No.” He wouldn’t accept that.

  She shook her head. “I miss Ryan every day. He was the greatest gift. I got to be pregnant. I got to carry him. I got to be a mommy for a day and a half. I’ve come to terms with the fact he’s gone . . . I’m moving on. On my own. And I’m okay with that. I’m going to focus on me for a change.”

  He wanted to be there for her, support her. She was all he could focus on.

  He stepped forward, caressed the back of her neck, and kissed her. Her beautiful soft lips. Warm, sweet, and mozzarella cheesy.

  She pushed hard against his chest and arched her back. Her eyes searched his face. “What the hell was that?”

  “You talk too much.” He kissed her again. He wanted to taste her, feel her tongue against his, but she pursed her lips tight.

  She broke from his kiss once again. “Stop.” Her voice quivered with breathlessness.

  His mind was a tornado of want and worry. He stroked her hair and cupped the side of her face. “You said in Rio I wasn’t allowed to kiss you unless I could stand before you and tell you that I wanted you. So here I am. I should have told you then, but I was a fool.” His heartbeat battered against his ribs. It was as if he stood on the very edge of the stage, turned his back to the crowd, closed his eyes and fell. Hoping to be caught. By her. “Because I do want you, Kar. All of you. In every possible way.”

  She swayed. Closed her eyes. Shook her head in short, sharp movements. “It’s too late. I’m done.” When she met his gaze, the coldness in her stare chilled his blood.

  Fuck. Had he missed his chance? What could he do? What could he say? This was why he avoided getting involved with anyone. All this emotional bullshit was too much. But he had to dig deep, for her. “I’m not. I’ve fought the way I feel for you for too long. I don’t want to do that anymore.”

  “Please stop.” She placed her fingers over his lips and took two steps back. “It doesn’t matter how you feel for me or how I feel for you.”

  “Yes, it does.” He ripped his fingers through his hair, a glimmer of hope rising in his chest. “How do you feel about me?”

  “I’m trying not to feel anything,” she said through clasped teeth. Her eyes swam with unrest. “I was doing just fine until you walked through my door.”

  He placed his hands over his heart. “Kar, please. My guard is down. I’m yours if you want me. I’m willing to give you my all. Give me . . . us a chance.”

  “You’re crazy.” Her lips trembled. Tears pooled in her eyes.

  “I’ve been called a lot worse. Maybe I am crazy, because I want to give us a shot. You made me realize how shut off I was from letting anyone get close.”

  She folded her arms and looked straight through him. Every muscle in his chest ached so much he didn’t want to breathe. He glanced around the room, at her wall art, her kitchen light, her clock. This conversation wasn’t going to plan. He needed a moment to think, to come up with a new approach. He stepped past her and paced the floor. Scenarios of what to say swirled through his head. Nothing seemed to hit the mark. He’d have to wing it. He took a few deep breaths and stopped a few feet from her. “After everything we’ve been through, don’t we deserve to see if what we have is something special?”

  “How can we?” A tear slipped from one eye and her jaw tensed. She stabbed her finger at him. “You’re so wrong for me.”

  “Do you think I don’t know that? Which is why I’ve tried to just be friends.” He took one step forward and splayed his hands out in front. For months she’d made him question every element of his life. Everything had altered course the moment he’d found out she was pregnant.

  “So many times, I’ve asked myself how could someone like me be worthy of someone like you? You’re all class, Kar, and I’m a whore. I've lived up to every sordid word ever said about me. But you’re the one I want to change for. I wanted to be a father to our child. I wanted to be your strength when we lost him.” He closed his eyes to gather his jumbled thoughts. “I want to mean something to you. I want to be more than a friend, more than a quick fuck, and more than a short-term fling. I want to be the right man for you.”

  She turned her head toward the windows. It was as if nothing he said was breaking through her walls. What did he have to do to prove to her that he was the one for her? That she was the one who had claimed his heart?

  Her chin quivered. “You’re not around enough.”

  He took slow steps toward her, standing by the counter, and softened his voice. “Gem, Kyle, and I have more control over what we do with our careers now. We pull the strings. We don’t have to travel as much. We can break up tours so we get days off, so you and I can be with each other. I’ll ensure I’m not away for long periods of time.” He stopped a foot away from her and brushed the tear from her cheek.

  Shards of silver flickered in the depths of her deep blue eyes. “We’re too different.”

  “No, we’re too alike. We’re stubborn, determined, and drive each other crazy. You’re beautiful and sexy and hot as hell. You woke me up. I’ve been selfish for too long. I want to be all that you deserve.”

  “I’m too scared,” she whispered and rounded her shoulders. “How could you want me when I’m not whole anymore? I can’t have children. You can have anyone on the planet. Why me?”

  “You’re perfect.” He stroked her brow and ran his fingers through the silken strands of her hair. “You’re one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met. Inside and out. You’re the one I want.”

  “Hunt, please don’t say that.” She grabbed his hands and drew them away from her face.

  “Why not? It’s true. I want to be with you. So much it hurts.”

  She closed her eyes and lowered her chin; her hair curtained her face.

  “Kar?” His throat tightened like a vise. Should he give her time to think? Hug her? Kiss her? This was unchartered territory. He rubbed her arms. His mind spun. “Babe?”

  She whimpered as if crying. And then he sa
w it. The shake of her head.

  She didn’t say a word. Nothing. Not a thing.

  But she didn’t have to.

  Kara didn’t want him.

  Shit!

  His heart exploded like a supernova, destroyed. Gritting his teeth, he fought against the sting in his eyes. He shouldn’t have come. He should never have listened to Gemma and her crap.

  Fuck this bullshit.

  He reefed the piece of paper from his jeans pocket and slapped it down on the kitchen counter beside her. “Here. Have this.” His voice, full of anger and self-hate, choked in his throat. “It’s season tickets to the ballet. I wanted to go to the fucking ballet with you because I know you love it. I wanted to take you out on dates. Do anything to be with you. But now, you can do what you like with them. Burn them for all I care.”

  She stared at the printout, sniffled, and folded her arms around her waist. She still couldn’t meet his gaze. His heart couldn’t take any more.

  He walked backward toward the door. He held his hands out wide, defeated. “Fools. That’s what we are, Kar. A couple of fools for not being fucking honest with each other. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt sooner. I wanted to protect you from someone like me. But it doesn’t matter now. You don’t want me. Fine. I’m so done. Bye, Kar.”

  He turned for the door.

  His hand froze two inches from the handle. A sharp breath speared his lungs.

  To stop his knees from buckling, he caught hold of the doorjamb. He clenched his jaw, tight. He slapped his hand hard against the door. It stung like hell. But no. This wasn’t happening. He wouldn’t give up on her that easily.

  He rushed back to where she still stood by the kitchen counter. “I’ve had to say goodbye to you too many times over the past few months. I don’t want to do that anymore.” He cupped the side of her face and kissed her. Kissed her as if he was taking his last breath. “Please. Give us a chance,” he begged between kisses. Her eyes glistened with tears. He wanted to see an end to them and focus on putting a smile back onto her face.

  “I don’t want to hurt anymore, Hunt.”

  “Neither do I. All I know is that I want you. Nothing else matters. Be mine.”

  She closed her eyes. “Say that again.”

  “Be mine.” He brushed his fingers down her cheek. “You are the one I want.”

  She placed one hand onto his chest and clutched a handful of his T-shirt. “I like the sound of that. I want you too. Denying how I feel about you has been torture.”

  Unable to suppress his grin, he dipped his chin. “Would you believe I wrote a song about torture . . . about you?”

  “I’m not sure I like being the inspiration behind any of your songs.” She wrinkled her nose. “That’s kind of weird.”

  “I’m all kinds of weird. Comes with the territory.” Snaking his hand around the back of her neck, he drew her closer. His voice was barely above a whisper. “No more fighting. No more denying. All I want to do right now is kiss you. Really kiss you. Can I do that?”

  “Yeah.” Her cheeks flushed, and she hooked her arms around his waist. “I’d like that very much.”

  His gaze fell to her lips. She licked them, leaving a glistening sheen. His pulse quickened. Leaning in, he hovered an inch away from her mouth. Warmth skittered across his skin. She was so beautiful. Not wanting to hold back for another second, he pressed his lips to hers.

  Breath shot from his lungs. Wanting to taste her, he parted his lips and licked into her warm, wet mouth. Her tongue met his and fire ignited his soul, unleashed after being caged for too long. Desire, hunger, and want for her surged through his body. God, he’d been a fool for not admitting how he felt.

  Her hands slid up his back, sending shivers down his spine. She clutched onto his shoulders and arched her chest against his. Heaven. Sensing her need for more, he dipped his head and deepened their kiss. Hot and heavy. Her tongue dancing with his sent a fevered rush of blood to his groin.

  Before his willpower failed, he rested his forehead against hers, and snaked his hands around her waist. “I’ve wanted to kiss you like that for months. Without being drunk like I was on New Year’s Eve, or being upset like we were at the beach house, or out of desperation like I was in Rio. I’ve wanted to kiss you again like I did on our night together.”

  She glided her fingers down his jaw. “I’ve wanted more than your kisses. I’ve wanted more from you ever since I found out I was pregnant. I want more, now.”

  His cock ached. He ran his hand up her waistline and stroked his thumb over the side of her breast. If her want matched his, control would be hard. Having her body press against his tested his restraint. But he’d do anything for her. “Kar, I know you’ve gotta go out tonight. So we better stop. I’d love to take you to bed. More than anything. But I can wait. Until you’re ready. Until you’re able.”

  Her eyes darkened, sexy and seductive. “I am able. And healed.” She stepped over to the hall table, picked up her phone and texted, her thumbs flying over the screen. “I canceled my plans.” She slid back to him and weaved her hands around his neck. “No more wasted moments.” She pressed her lips to his, grabbed him by the hand, and led him toward her bedroom.

  His heart beat like a bass drum. It had taken too long to get here. Too much trauma. Too much tragedy. One thing he’d learned was that time was precious, and he wouldn’t squander another second.

  He’d come up with a plan. He’d make being in a relationship with her tie in with her job and his ever-changing schedule. But for now, he was here. And he had all night to make up for their mistakes, missed opportunities and make some smoldering-hot new memories.

  Chapter 26

  Kara drew Hunter into her bedroom and stopped by the end of her bed. Blue evening light filtered through her sheer curtains. Soft shadows danced across his face. She placed her trembling hand onto his chest, and his heart pounded in rhythm with hers. After months of anguish, pain, and hiding her feelings, having him here was like a surreal dream.

  The moment he’d said he wanted her, her resolve had shattered. How could she not take this chance? They had a connection. She could feel it. It was too powerful.

  Raking her fingernails down his stomach, every ridge of his abs hardened beneath her fingertips. Just touching him without restraint ripped open the seams on her pent-up emotions. She wanted to rush, take it slow, rip his clothes off, seal every treasured moment to memory. When she craved him, how could she stay in control? She fumbled with the edge of his T-shirt and tugged it over his head, loving the way his hair fell in soft waves to his shoulders.

  He traced the edge of her face with soft strokes and her eyes fluttered closed. Just breathe. Warm hands cupped her cheeks, and he pressed his mouth to hers. Hot and delicious, languid and slow. So much better than any time before. No nerves, no sadness, no desperation—just desire. With a tilt of his head, he deepened his kiss. Kissed her like he needed her more than oxygen.

  Threading her fingers into his hair, fire charged through her veins. She drew him closer and her mouth molded against his. Urgent. Hungry. Demanding.

  “Kar.” He smiled over her kisses. His hands slipped down her arms and curled around her waist. “God, I want you so bad, but let’s not rush. I want to savor every inch of you. Touch you. Taste you. Make you come as many times as you want.”

  She’d settle for one. Any more would be a bonus. She brushed her hands over his bare flesh, his skin cool beneath her fiery fingertips. This wasn’t where she’d expected to end up this evening. After weeks of trying to block him from her heart, she’d been so close to pushing him away. Afraid of more hurt, her self-doubt and her insecurities. He’d fought for her. Maybe he was her knight in shining armor. No . . . no, he wasn’t. He was her rock star!

  He untied the sash of her wrap-dress and peeled it from her shoulders. His gaze fell to her chest, then back up to her face. A smile curled at the edge of his mouth. “You’re so beautiful, Kar.”

  Hearing him say that weird
ed her out. Compliments regarding her looks never came her way, so the honesty in his tone made her blush. Made her heart skip faster.

  “You’re body’s pretty rockin’, too.” She traced the V-line of muscle down to the top of his jeans.

  His eyes shimmered in the soft light. “We really need to work on your dirty talk.”

  “You want me to dress up like a schoolgirl and you can play the teacher?” She brushed her hand over his groin and cupped his hardened cock. “Then you can teach me what you like.”

  He groaned. “You like role-playing? That’s so hot.”

  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” She unbuckled his belt and tugged it from the loops.

  “I know. But I’m liking you more and more each minute.” He cupped her breast and circled his thumb across her nipple, sending it into a hardened peak. “And right now, I want you. Just you.”

  He could say that to her a thousand times and she would never get sick of hearing it.

  He guided her backward. Her knees hit the edge of the mattress and he lay her down on her unmade bed. Skimming his hands over her body, he ripped off her panties. “Hmm. Better.” His eyes never left hers as he slipped off his shoes and discarded his jeans and boxer-briefs.

  He crawled onto the bed and hovered over her. Nudging between her legs, he lowered his weight onto her. Skin on skin. Heart on heart. Breath against breath.

  With featherlight strokes, she traced her fingertips across the arch of his eyebrows, down the edge of his sharp jawline, and across his soft lips. “Kiss me.”

  He propped his arms either side of her head, and pressed his lips against her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks, and then her mouth. Inhaling his eau de whiskey breath and citrusy scent, she flicked her tongue against his. His lips were soft like velvet, smooth like satin, warm like sunshine, hot like fire. Each kiss, each touch, each connection sent tingles shooting across her skin.

  He made her feel again. Made her heart beat.

  Working his way down her body, he kissed a heated trail toward her chest, leaving goose bumps in his wake. He licked and circled one nipple then the other. Oh yes.