Twisted Bonds

by Reilly, Cora

  “Since you hate extensive displays of emotions, you should leave. It’ll only get worse from here.” Even to my own ears, I sounded bitter.

  Remo sank down across from me, holding my half-full glass. He scanned my face and looked at the pregnancy test in my hand. I hadn’t even realized that I was still clutching it like a memorial of my failure to conceive. I held it out to him so he could see the result.

  “You’d think it would get easier. The disappointment after getting your hopes too high once more.”

  Remo took a sip from my drink, then swirled it in the glass.

  “That was mine.”

  “You left it standing there. It’s a limited edition Don Papa rum that costs a fortune. I’m not leaving it there so Adamo can desecrate it into a fucking Cuba Libre.”

  I choked out a laugh and held out my hand. “I need another sip.”

  Remo handed the glass to me and I took a large gulp, shuddering at the strength of the alcohol. “Fucking waste of good rum. You hate hard liquor.”

  “I do,” I said and returned the drink to Remo. “I thought it would help.”

  Remo smiled. “When has alcohol ever helped with anything?”

  “It can help you forget.”

  “For a few hours, but it lets you crash all the harder when you remember again.”

  I bit my lip, knowing he was right. Adamo had been trying to cope the same way and I could see where it had gotten him. “We’ve been trying for so long.”

  Remo tilted his head in consideration. There was no pity in his eyes, which was good, and why I loved talking to Remo. “Is Nino shooting blanks?”

  I blinked, still, after all this time, stunned by Remo’s directness. “I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s him. It’s my fault. I just know it deep down. Something is wrong with me. Maybe I don’t deserve to be happy. First my parents, then Durant and now this...” I started gasping in air as despair and sadness crowded in my chest. I couldn’t believe I’d said those words aloud. They’d been haunting me for a long time now.

  “Kiara, stop it.”

  I couldn’t. Remo grabbed my ankle, startling me. My head jerked up. He rarely touched me. I swallowed as I focused on his face.

  “It’s no one’s fault, and nothing’s fucking wrong with you, got it?”

  “It’s unfair,” I whispered desperately.

  Remo downed the remaining rum. “Life’s fucking unfair. It wants to crush you, but you can’t let the bitch win. You’ve got to force her to play by your rules.”

  “You make it sound so easy, but for me it’s not. You are strong. Nobody could ever force you to do anything.”

  Remo leaned forward, squeezing my ankle. “Do you know how many people dare to tell me the truth to my face? How many don’t shit their pants when they’re alone with me?”

  I shook my head. I guessed there weren’t many. Serafina, his brothers and Fabiano ... even Leona was still wary around the Camorra Capo.

  “You are strong in your own way, Kiara. And you are Falcone. The world’s yours. If you want a kid, you’ll get one.”

  I laughed. “I know you are powerful, but some things are out of your control. You can’t kidnap one.”

  “If Nino’s shooting blanks you can have my sperm to get you pregnant.”

  I choked. “Are you being serious?”

  He cocked an eyebrow.

  I shook my head. “You’re really being serious. You think Fina would be okay with you being a sperm donor?”

  “We’re all family. I want you and Nino to get your wish, and Serafina would understand.”

  “That won’t work if it’s me.”

  “There’s all kind of shit doctors can do nowadays. You and Nino should have a check-up. Once you know what’s the problem, you can find a solution.”

  “Maybe there’s no solution.”

  “There always is. You can adopt. Might not be the worst idea anyway considering how messed-up Nino and I are.”

  “That’s because of your childhood.”

  “Trust me, part of it is inherited.” His mouth curled as if he remembered all the things they’d done over the years.

  “I’ve been thinking about adoption.” I looked at Remo. “But I don’t want the kids to be less because they aren’t blood relatives.”

  “The only blood I give a fuck about is that of the fuckers who’ll treat your kids less for some shitty DNA bullshit, and only because I’ll bathe in it after I slit their throats.”

  I crossed the small space between us and hugged Remo for the first time in my life. “Thank you,” I whispered. “You are how I wish my brothers could have been. I don’t care what people say about you, I love you like a brother.”

  Remo froze, then he lightly touched my back but didn’t say anything in return—not that I had expected him to.

  I pulled away, clearing my throat and wiping my eyes. Remo got to his feet and held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s join the others at the pool.”

  I took his hand and allowed him to pull me up.

  “I’m not wearing a bikini.”

  “Then go change. I’ll go see if Adamo’s in the mood to stop his sulk.”

  He regarded me a moment longer then picked up the discarded pregnancy test and walked away.

  I released a long breath, feeling slightly better. Remo was right. There was no use pitying myself.

  Ten minutes later I arrived at the pool, dressed in my red bikini and a summer dress over it. Seraina and Leona were in the water, each of them pushing the twins around the pool in small unicorn floats that Serafina had ordered for them. Savio was stretched out lazily on one of the sunchairs, his swim trunks pulled down dangerously low, showing off the upper half of that obnoxious bull tattoo.

  Savio inched his sunglasses up with a smirk. “Can’t take your eyes off my minotaur, can you?”

  I grimaced. “I still can’t believe you let Nino ink that thing into your skin.”

  Savio looked down his six-pack then lifted his waistband, peering beneath it. “You should see the rest. I think you’d change your mind.”

  My cheeks flushed. A wet ball flew toward Savio’s head and he blocked it with his forearm. “Hey!”

  “Behave,” Serafina warned.

  Savio crossed his arms behind his head, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

  “You love to rile us up, right?” I said with a small laugh.

  “It’s more fun than I expected.”

  I got out of my dress and quickly lowered myself into the pool, uncomfortable in my tiny bikini around men other than Nino.

  Savio pushed his sunglasses back down. “How about you bake us some of those delicious white chocolate-macadamia cookies?”

  “I thought you’d get rid of that sweet tooth at some point. How can you stuff your face with all that sugary shit?” Remo said as he strode toward the pool in swim trunks. There was no sign of Adamo.

  Savio shrugged. “I need it so I can give the ladies some sugar.”

  I snorted as I made my way over to Leona, Serafina and the twins. “You are absolutely impossible. Do those pick-up lines actually work?”

  “No,” Remo said at the same time as Savio said, “Yes.”

  Remo waved him off. “Whatever. I’m surprised you didn’t get a fucking lollipop instead of that bull inked above your dick. Would send a clear message.”

  “The girls I’m with know what to do with my cock. They don’t need a lollipop to remind them, and if they’re brain-dead, I’ll give them pointers.”

  “But you need a bull to remind yourself to be an animal in bed, or what?” Remo lowered himself into the pool as well. Leona and Serafina had noticed my red eyes, but I gave them a bright smile, not wanting them to worry.

  “Don’t worry. I don’t need reminding,” Savio said. His phone beeped and he took it from the small table beside his sunchair.

  When I took over from Leona pushing Greta’s floaty around, Remo joined me.

  “He didn’t want to come out?” I
asked.

  “He’s moody. Withdrawal is a shitty thing.”

  Leona perked up. “If you need me to talk to him, I will. I’ve gone through so much with my mother, so I get it.”

  Remo’s eyes darted to her. She flushed but held his gaze for once. “Why not?” he said eventually. “Tell him a few horror stories, I’m sure you’ve had plenty.”

  “Yeah, definitely.”

  Greta beamed at Remo. “Dad,” she said in that cute, high voice. Remo took her out of the floaty and she smiled. “Want to be close to me, hmm?” He pressed her to his chest and waded through the water. She looked much more content than in the floaty. Nevio on the other hand was kicking up a storm with his tiny feet and squeezing the life out of the unicorn’s neck.

  Serafina pushed him back and forth with a grin. I swam over to her and Nevio as he gurgled with delight. I tipped my wet finger against his nose, causing him to screech with laughter. Leona sat on the edge of the pool, looking relaxed, maybe for the first time without Fabiano being around.

  “With those lungs the kid could be the lead singer of Nine Inch Nails,” Savio said as he walked over to the edge of the pool, dragging his flamingo float after him.

  “That thing stays out of the pool,” Serafina said.

  Savio thrust the float into the pool. “Make me.” He dove in, emerged from the water and hoisted himself on top of the pink atrocity. With his legs straddling the long neck of the flamingo, he stretched out and sighed.

  “I feel the irresistible urge to use one of Remo’s knives to give that flamingo a cruel end,” Serafina whispered in my ear. I stifled laughter. Savio threw us a suspicious look as Serafina made an innocent face.

  We spent the next couple of hours at the pool and I felt much better after. When I returned into the bedroom after dinner that night, and curled up alone in our bed, the disappointment caught up with me once more.

  I missed Nino horribly right then. I had half-fallen asleep when my phone beeped. It was close to midnight and when I checked the message I smiled despite my burning eyes.

  Good night, Kiara. I’ll be back soon. I love you.

  Nino wasn’t big on messages, especially not to convey his feelings. It was the first time he’d sent me a text saying he loved me. I quickly replied.

  I love you too and I wish I could fall asleep in your arms.

  I wasn’t sure why Nino had sent me those words, or if maybe someone had mentioned my teary breakdown, and it didn’t matter. I was just glad for the gesture, knowing he was focused on something else at the moment, something that required him to shut down all his emotions.

  Holding the phone in my hand, I closed my eyes again.

  CHAPTER 20

  KIARA

  The next evening, I was baking banana bread when Nino entered the kitchen. My stomach burst with relief seeing him, then my mood fell realizing I’d have to tell him that it hadn’t worked again. Nino came straight toward me and hugged me from behind, kissing my cheek and when I twisted my head around, my lips.

  “It’ll work out. We’ve got time.”

  “How do you know?” I doubted Remo had run off to tell him the second Nino stepped into the mansion.

  “Your expression, and I know it’s around the time of your cycle, and you usually do the test.”

  I sighed. “It’s impossible to keep secrets from you.”

  “You don’t need to.”

  “Are you mad?”

  Nino frowned. “Why would I be mad? Like I said, we have time. Eventually we’ll have a baby. And it’s not like either of us is to blame. This isn’t something we can affect.”

  I pressed my face into his shirt, soaking in his comforting scent. “I’m mad. I’m so mad.”

  Nino stilled. “At who?”

  “Not at anyone, never at you, not even really at me. I’m just so damn angry and it doesn’t even make sense.”

  Nino’s brows had risen at my swearing. “Maybe you need to vent.”

  “I had half a glass of Don Papa rum. That didn’t help.”

  “Let me guess. Remo told you to drink.”

  I smiled. “No, actually he told me not to drink. At least not the expensive alcohol.”

  Nino shook his head with a chuckle, but then he became serious again and pressed our foreheads together. “Maybe you just need to let your anger out. We could do some fight training. I always feel better afterward.”

  “Why not? It can’t hurt, can it?”

  “It should hurt,” Nino said.

  I shook my head. “Right.” Nino kissed me again, then pulled back. “Can we go now or do you have to stay for the bread?”

  I checked it. It was done and only needed to cool. I quickly took the pan out of the oven before I followed Nino out of the kitchen.

  “Banana bread is done,” I called as we passed the gaming room where Savio was working at the laptop. Maybe he’d enjoy a bite tonight. Greta sat beside him on the sofa like a gorgeous little doll and staring curiously at the screen, not the picture book on her lap. Nevio’s delighted screeching sounded outside followed by Remo’s deeper voice. He seemed to be chasing his son around the garden.

  “I hope whatever you’re doing is meant for a child’s eyes,” Nino said to Savio.

  Savio glanced up then to Greta. “Our betting stats. And it’s not like Greta can read anything. Right, doll-face?”

  Greta looked at him with a crooked smile and my heart just melted.

  “You’ve really grown on her,” I said softly.

  Savio flashed Greta a grin. “I have a way with girls, don’t I?”

  She only smiled. Nino stroked my back and I finally dragged my gaze away from them.

  Savio put away his laptop and asked Greta, “Why don’t we check on that banana bread? Maybe I can sneak a piece into your mouth before your mom gets all bitchy because of a bit of sugar.”

  “I heard that,” Serafina muttered as she came inside, dressed in a bikini, glaring at Savio. He shrugged.

  “Sorry, doll-face, I did the best I could.” With a wave he walked off as Serafina picked up her daughter and kissed her rosy cheek.

  She gave me an encouraging smile and I knew Remo had told her already, not that it would have stayed a secret long anyway.

  “We’re off to the gym,” Nino said then he pulled me along, for which I was glad. I didn’t want to talk about the negative test again.

  NINO

  “Did you handle things in Sacramento?” Kiara asked as I steered the Tesla down the driveway.

  “We found the men who gave Adamo the drugs, yes,” I said. Kiara nodded, regarding me with that quiet concern. She often worried how these acts of brutality affected me and maybe it was good that she thought they could. I ran my thumb over her knuckles.

  “He hasn’t left the room. Remo didn’t let me visit him either.”

  “You shouldn’t see him without one of us. In this stage of withdrawal, he might very well become violent to reach his goal.”

  She shook her head. “Adamo wouldn’t hurt me.”

  I looked pointedly at her upper arms and the fading bruises, and when Kiara followed my gaze she sighed. “He didn’t mean to.”

  “And he wouldn’t meant to again either. He’d be single-mindedly focused on getting another fix. That’s dangerous. You won’t go near him without one of us, Kiara. That’s my last word on the matter.”

  She nodded slowly. “How long will it take for him to become clean?”

  “It’s hard to say. It depends on the person, on the severity of the addiction, on their understanding of the problem and determination to fight it. Willpower is the key.”

  “Adamo’s got that. He’s a Falcone.”

  I smiled, but it wasn’t associated with any uplifting emotions. “Willpower won’t be the problem, but I’m not sure Adamo understands the magnitude of his problem, and that results in a lack of determination to fight it.”

  “You’ll help him.”

  “I will. We will, but it’s a fight we can’t fight
for him. Only he can win it.”

  We arrived in the gym ten minutes later and after changing into our workout clothes, Kiara and I entered the boxing ring. She’d gained strength in the time of our marriage, not just mentally but also physically. I wasn’t sure she realized just how much. I helped her put on boxing gloves. She gave me a curious look.

  “We’ll both wear them to do some sparring. I think you need a more active training today.”

  I put on gloves as well—they would soften my blows further.

  “Ready?” I asked.

  She nodded and took a deep breath. It didn’t loosen the tension in her body. Kiara had been bottling up her frustration over her inability to conceive and tried to distract herself, but at some point it was going to be too much.

  I raised my hands. “Left right. Left right. Quick.”

  Kiara landed the instructed blows against my gloved palms, her brows drawing together. “I want to really spar.”

  “All right,” I said with a nod, and got in position, fists up. I feigned an attack, which Kiara avoided then she aimed a punch toward my ribs. Not bothering to block her blow, I allowed her the hit. She needed to release her emotions and I wasn’t sensitive to pain, at least not to the amount Kiara could summon.

  She landed another hit against my stomach.

  “Stop it!” she gasped.

  I looked at her.

  “Stop letting me win. I want you to fight me. Stop holding back.” She tried to punch me again. This time I blocked her with my fist, not my elbow which would have hurt her.

  “If I don’t hold back, I’d seriously injure you.”

  Anger flickered in her eyes. It didn’t make sense.

  “I’m not helpless! Not helpless!”

  Her punches were unfocused, fueled by her overflowing emotions, and I blocked each of them. “I didn’t say you were,” I said calmly, but that only seemed to enrage her further.