Sebastian clenched his fists
“Do you want to hurt her, embarrass her? Drag our family name through the mud? It will be worse for Miss Bright. She would bear the brunt of the scandal if you throw her over. What will people say about her?” His father speculated with a half smile. “They will assume you found something in her unworthy, and she’ll never be able to marry. Do you want that for her, for her sister? The world is so hard on women, even the daughters of the wealthy. Or you can protect them both by fulfilling your obligation.”
Sebastian fisted his hands. He didn't know how he was going to endure dinner tonight. He felt like he'd swallowed shredded rope dipped in kerosene, and his father was holding a match to his throat, ready to set it on fire.
“You’re sweating. Are you already drunk? Go wipe your face,” his father said. “I’ll be ready to leave in a quarter hour, and I expect you to be as well. Don't disappoint me.”
Sebastian left the study and went back to his room. He didn’t want to admit it, but his father was right. Even if she was sick, to break the contract, to reject her could prove more harmful than just marrying her.
He would never view Miss Bright like his father viewed his mother. Maybe that made him less of a man, but if Miss Bright were under his protection, which he now considered her to be, he would never treat her so callously. He might have to marry her, but he wouldn’t bed her or force her to bear his heir unless he was sure it was safe. Whatever time she needed to regain her health, she would have and damn his father. Sebastian didn’t care how long it took.
Bella was a bundle of nerves by the time Sir Sebastian and his parents arrived for dinner. He didn't look happy to be there, as if he didn’t want to speak with anyone at all. She watched him take frequent sips from a flask. Did he have a problem with drinking? She would never have suspected it of him from his letters. She studied him, her pulse speeding up, and tried to mask her staring with a fan.
His body moved with an instinctual grace, as though his large size didn't hinder him at all, like a predator prowling around the room, making conversation with no one. He reminded her of the traveling fair that came through Bath. They’d had a tiger on display. The magnificent beast paced its cage, eyeing the crowd as if one of them might be suitable to eat. His gaze would meet hers, and he’d look away again, his attention wandering over all of them but never remaining in one place long.
Were all rakes like him? She had so little experience. She should be glad that she'd never had a London season, yet there was something thrilling about him, a challenge. Bella wondered what he was drinking. He didn't seem like a drunkard, but like most things, she had little experience with drunkards. She mostly saw them as slovenly people who sat on the steps of empty buildings as their carriage rolled past.
Her mother had decreed spirits were only for gentlemen, and they were only allowed one glass of watered wine on special occasions, usually in the company of others. When it was just them at home, they drank tea or lemon water. Bella's wine was usually mostly water, which was rather a disgusting concoction. Her mother always said her mouth didn't need any more encouragement to be unruly.
Calvin came to her side and bent to whisper in her ear. “Don't be frightened of him. He’s mostly harmless.”
“I’m not frightened of him,” Bella said. “Is he drunkard? I've seen him sip from that flask in his pocket more than a handful of times already.”
“Don't be fooled. He only looks the part of a rake, but he actually gets nervous around people he doesn't know well, and so he drinks. It’s quite common. There's a reason strong spirits are referred to as liquid courage.”
“Really? I had no idea.”
“That's because you’re all courage. You don't need the liquid.”
“Mother has said something to that effect, but it wasn't complimentary.”
“I've been told you're making trouble.”
“I think I would know if I were making trouble.”
“You don't want her to marry him,” Calvin said.
“She's too ill. She can't marry anybody.”
“You don't know that. Why would you deny her the chance to experience it firsthand?” “Because,” Bella whispered, “it could kill her.”
“You’re referring to wifely duties, I’m assuming.” He shuddered. “I don't want to think of it, but you don't know what you're talking about. You’re a complete innocent. She’ll be fine.”
“She gets winded going up the stairs, Calvin. How can she…endure a man's attention?”
“One day you will understand, little sister, don't worry. It’s not so vigorous for wives. All she need do is lay there.”
Bella grimaced. “How can I not worry? Make me understand. Do you really think she'll be all right?”
He shrugged.
How could he just shrug when this was Carina's life they were discussing? Bella ground her teeth in frustration.
“It isn’t in our business.”
“Carina's life and well-being is our business,” Bella returned.
“These are matters beyond you. Mother and Father wouldn't put their daughter in danger.”
“But that's just it, they are. They won't listen to me. I'm the closest out of everyone to Carina. I know what she can and can't do. She was never even taught to dance. Do you know why?”
He shook his head.
“Because it makes her breath too hard. When she breathes too hard, she can't breathe at all. What will happen when there's a man sweating on top of her?”
“Hush, Bella,” Calvin scolded. “Don't say such things.”
“I have to, to ensure that marriage to Sir Sebastian won’t kill my sister. Why is no one listening to me?”
“Because you're being ridiculous. The marriage act never killed anybody. Old men do it and they don't die.”
Bella shook her head. “Even Carina is scared, and I'm the one only one who's willing to do something about it. What are you willing to do?”
Calvin urged her away from the others. “What shenanigans are you up to? Mother told me to watch you and make sure you don’t get in the way.”
“I'm going to protect my sister. That's what I've always done, and that's what I will continue to do.”
“What are you planning?”
“As if I’d tell you.”
“But you are planning something.”
Now it was Bella who shrugged. “You're either with me or against me. You can't play both sides.”
“Bella, this is serious. Marriage contracts are not simple matters.”
“It's a piece of paper versus Carina's life. It seems quite simple to me.”
“That's because you're young and naïve. You've been sheltered, and you don't know the way it works in the world. Lord Drummond is a powerful man, and we all benefit from this marriage, even you. You could have a London season, not those paltry parties in Bath.”
“Nothing in Bath is paltry. It's beautiful there and they have their own little season,” Bella said defensively. Bath was more home to her than the Burrow.
“Just wait till you see London. You'll change your mind. You'll be courted by earls and viscounts—maybe even land yourself a duke. You’re certainly pretty enough.” He chucked her chin.
Bella swatted his hand away. “Don't you dare patronize me. I won't leave Carina’s side until I'm sure she's safe.”
“Then I’ll be sure to warn Sebastian that he'll be getting two wives for the price of one,” Calvin said, and then he chuckled. “The poor bloke will be surrounded by our family for the rest of his life.” Her brother strolled away, and Bella glared after him.
Chapter 6
Her brother's warning hadn't discouraged her in the slightest. Sir Sebastian knew something was afoot already and seemed concerned. She’d all but told him that Carina couldn't marry him, and he was willing to speak with her. He may be her only hope.
If he was on her side and agreed that the marriage was inadvisable, what could her parents do? What could anyone do if
both the bride and the groom were unwilling?
Her heart tripped over itself at the idea of being alone with him. But she chose to ignore it. She had to do this for Carina, but didn't know how to explain that the solution was to have Bella take Carina’s place. She felt faint just thinking about it. Bella had never fainted before, but she was sure this is what it felt like. A lightness in her head, her pulse racing. What if he agreed, what would she feel then? She'd never met a man so handsome before. Bella couldn't even guess his opinion of her, but compared to the more fashionable women of London, she had to be lacking. She was going to offer herself up in place of her sister, but he might choose to reject them both.
After dinner was concluded, the gentlemen stayed behind for port while the ladies retired to the drawing room. As usual, her mother sent Bella and Carina to bed as though they were small children. Bella saw to Carina's needs, tucking her into bed, putting her special jar of aromatic oils close by in case Carina needed them during the night. Then she went to her own room, but she didn't undress. She drew on her warmest cloak and her thickest boots, a little snug around the toes now since she hadn't worn them since she was ten and four, but surprisingly her feet hadn't grown that much. Bella snuck down the back stairs to the rear terrace. She peeked out the French doors before stepping out and stared in wonder at the falling snow. A torch was lit on the terrace and a figure stood alone, blowing clouds of smoke into the falling specks of white.
Bella stepped out, her teeth chattering from nerves. She hugged herself and willed herself to be brave. She may do a lot of courageous talking, but until now, she never had to take action on her words. He turned and dropped his cigar to the ground, crushing it under the toe of his boot.
"Good evening, Miss Isabel."
"Good evening, Sir Sebastian," she replied, her voice sounding so small, like a little girl. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Thank you for taking a moment to speak with me. I know this isn't de rigueur, but it's important that we talk."
"I had suspected as much," he said. "Will you tell me more about her illness?"
Bella nodded, relief flooding her. "She's had it all her life. From the time we were little girls, Carina always had a hard time with activities. She would get winded, her breathing very congested, wheezing and such. She's been seen by many doctors, tried many remedies, but it wasn't until we moved away from the Burrow that she found true relief."
"So, she's better now?" he asked.
"Better, but not well. Carina can't dance, she gets out of breath when climbing the stairs, even laughing too hard can put her into a state. There isn't much she can do other than paint and read. We make social calls, drive around the parks, though the dust can pose a threat. We take short walks, but that is the bulk of her abilities. From your letters, I gathered you're a bit more social than that."
"I wouldn't say that," he replied. "I like doing things outdoors. Riding my horse, shooting, but I don't do those activities with others, or if I do, it is with a few close friends." He took out his flask and took a sip.
"What have you got in there? Something better than my father keeps in stock?"
He offered her a sip. Was this a challenge, she wondered? She took the flask and sniffed it. There was a spicy, lemony scent that intrigued her. Bella took a sip and then coughed as she handed it back to him.
"I've never tasted anything like that."
"It's a mixture of ginger beer and lemon. I find it soothing," he said. "Not particularly good for getting drunk."
"So, you've been drinking that all night?"
"Most people think I'm drinking hard spirits, but those people would be wrong. I rarely drink anything harder than this, but it's easier to let them assume than explain my own difficulties."
"My brother said you get nervous around large groups of people."
"That is true. I imagine when I marry your sister, my life will be quieter and that suits me just fine."
"Sir Sebastian, please, that's what I need to talk to you about. You can't marry her, or rather, she can't marry you. She can't fulfill her wifely duties. It could kill her.”
“I won’t let that happen,” he said. “I’ve already aired my concerns to my father. Both your parents have assured him that her health has improved enough that she can marry.”
“They’re lying,” Bella said. “Yes, she's doing better but she has to remain in Bath. She can't stay here.”
“I know that. It's already expected that after she is with child she will return to Bath, and I will remain here to assist my father with the duties of the estate.”
Bella's mouth dropped open. “She can't carry a child. I'm not even certain she can perform her duties to conceive. That is how delicate her health is. She can't give you an heir. Why is no one listening to me? This is not going to work out the way they want. You are my only hope in saving her.”
He stared out past the torch into the darkness, his expression unreadable. “There is a contract to uphold. I have to do what is expected of me. To break it, to reject your sister will be very harmful to her—to both of you. We can't just change your minds.
“Of course you can. A contract is only paper. You must convince your father that there would be no heir. You would only be endangering my sister's life.”
“You don't know that, and you don't know what's… at stake.
She touched his sleeve, and his gaze locked back onto her, startling her with its intensity. Warmth flooded her as their gazes held. Bella could no longer feel the cold. “You're my only hope. I have spent my life protecting my sister, and I’m prepared to do anything to do so.” She took a deep breath. “Even to take her place. If you want a Drummond heir, I’ll give you one. I'll give you as many as you like, just please spare my sister.”
“You’d do that?”
“Carina and I already discussed it. I can take her place, and she will return to Bath to live out the rest of her life the best she is able to.”
His brow furrowed. “What would you like me to do, scratch out her name? The contract is binding, and the language is clear. The heir of Lord Drummond, fifth Earl of Drummond, will marry the eldest daughter of Lord Holden, Miss Carina Evangelina Bright. I signed it—your sister signed it—I swore an oath to my father to uphold our family name. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you feel you need to protect her, but this matter is out of your hands, and I think, maybe, a matter out of your understanding.”
Bella scoffed in outrage. How dare he condescend to her.
“I promise I will do all in my power to keep her safe, but we will marry, and at the very least we will…attempt to have a child. But only when she informs me that she is ready. I won’t rush her. I won’t…force her.”
Bella dropped her hand to her side, unmoved by his promises. “Do we matter so little? You hold a knife to my sister’s neck and apologize to me. All for duty, for your honor and an oath you swore to your father.”
“You matter to me. I swear I won’t hurt her. I am a man of my word.”
“It’s easy to make promises—to swear on your honor when it doesn't hurt you, it only hurts her.” She backed away from him. “You are not who I thought you were.”
“You don't know me well enough to say that. We've only just met.”
“She didn't even want to write to you,” Bella said. “When your letters arrived, I read them aloud to her and I replied, hoping that you could be an ally. In your letters, I thought I'd found that reasonable man, a man with compassion. You spoke of your travels with such detail and humor that I thought—I don't know what I thought. Clearly, I was wrong. I must go. I have plans to arrange for my sister.” She turned away.
“Miss Isabella, wait,” he said. “What do you mean you have plans for your sister? She must uphold the contract as well. It is legally binding. It could create a rift between our two families that have enjoyed a very long and beneficial friendship, longer than our lives.”
“I don't care,” Bella said. “I'm going to protect my sister.”
Bella returned to the house, to her room, to the circle of light before her fire, and then she sank to her knees and wept. She’d never felt so alone before. She was one woman facing impossible odds.
But it wasn't just that, she felt so small in the world but also so unimportant. She was the daughter of a wealthy baron, and yet it seemed she was worth so little. Carina's life had only one purpose to them.
Bella felt no honor or duty to the bloody contract or to her mother and father's wishes. Not when they intended to treat her and her sister like chattel.
Bella hurried through her morning routine and went to Carina's room. Carina was awake but not dressed, sitting in her nightgown and dressing robe and painting by the light of her window. She started a new piece, this one of lambs frolicking in a pasture, their fluffy white wool seeming as soft as the clouds that she'd put in the blue sky above them. A lovely and happy scene but it couldn't rival the blackness that Bella felt inside.
She waited for Carina's maid to leave them before delivering the terrible news.
“I spoke with Sir Sebastian,” she said.
Carina raised a brow. “Oh? regarding?”
“Marrying you,” Bella said. “He's determined to uphold the contract.”
As she watched, her sister's hands began to shake, and she lowered her brush from the canvas. “Then I will marry.” Her voice was tight and as brittle and as thin porcelain.
“I am not done,” Bella declared. “I still have a few pounds tucked away so we can leave.
Carina glanced. “The wedding is in two days and it’s snowing again. The journey will be difficult and expensive, dangerous even.”
“It doesn't matter even if we just make it as far as the closest inn.
“That's not far enough. Father will just come get us, and we would've embarrassed him.”
“I don't care about embarrassing father,” Bella said. “I don't care about honor and duty and the piece of paper that demands we do something, I care about you, Carina.”
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