Once Upon a Christmas Wedding
Page 231
I am better off going back the way I came. At least I’m sure that leads to somewhere. I have no idea what is up ahead.
Elizabeth struggled to mount even when she found a stump. Her extra layers of clothing were awkward and unwieldy. Once on the horse, she thanked the heavens for small mercies. She had learned to ride bareback as a child, and even though she had not done it in years, she was able to control the animal easily. That was in large part because the mount did little more than plod through the deepening snow.
Elizabeth had to wipe her eyes repeatedly as snow coated her eyelashes. She had her scarf pulled up over her nose and mouth and her cloak pulled as tightly closed as it would go. Even with the extra layers on, she was freezing. The cold was sapping her energy, and she grew sleepy. She understood what that meant for her, so she fought her body’s urge to close her eyes.
Elizabeth was sure her name floated on the wind, but she was unable to see anything beyond a few feet in front of her. She tucked her chin again and huddled over the horse’s withers as she tried to block the shifting wind.
She heard her name again and looked to see a figure moving toward her at a gallop. She strained to catch the voice again. It floated on the wind.
“Edward! I’m here!” She tried to yell, but her voice cracked.
“Edward!” she pulled down her scarf and mustered the deepest breath before calling out again.
“Beth, I’m coming!”
Elizabeth squeezed her horse’s flanks and nudged it into a trot. She gripped the reins to keep from slipping until the figure riding toward her became clear. She would recognize the figure anywhere. Their horses pulled alongside one another, and just as the last time they met on horseback, he pulled her from the saddle to sit in his lap.
“Oh, Beth,” he murmured, his hushed words filled with agony.
Elizabeth’s gloved hands cupped his jaw as she pulled him to meet her. Their lips collided and teeth gnashed against one another as they kissed with a hunger born of fear and anguish. Edward pulled his cloak around them both as he held her in his arms, and their kiss continued.
When they both needed to breathe, they rested their foreheads against one another, but a moment later, Edward drew back as he touched his head. His gloved fingertips were red. He gently peeled the shawls back from Elizabeth’s forehead to reveal the gash that still bled.
“It’s not that bad. Head wounds always gush for ages. My head hurts, but nothing more is wrong.”
“Nothing more? You’re nearly frozen through wandering in the middle of a blizzard,” Edward growled.
“I meant nothing more was wrong with my head,” Elizabeth giggled.
“You would laugh at a time like this.”
“I’d rather do that than cry. My eyes might freeze shut.”
Edward pulled her in for another long kiss.
“What am I to do with you?”
“Hopefully, get me somewhere warm.”
She nestled against his chest as he gathered her horse’s reins and turned his mount in the direction they came from.
“What happened? Why are you injured and alone?”
“I’m not sure exactly. I was looking out the window for a while when I realized we should have been nearing my clan’s keep, but nothing looked familiar. I deduced my father was sending me to the Sinclairs, to Deirdre, but why would he risk sending me into the Highlands in the middle of winter? I was trying to puzzle through that when the carriage hit a ditch, then a boulder. It tumbled over the embankment and down the hill. I’m uncertain if the axle broke causing the carriage to pitch sideways or if that happened during the fall. Either way, I pulled myself out and put on extra clothes, then climbed my way up the hill. I found the coachman dead with a gash on his head. The driver wasn’t far away and had a broken neck. The horses were nowhere to be seen. I started back this way and whistled until one of the horses answered. I’d been riding half an hour maybe before I heard you calling me. How’d you guess?”
Edward ran his hand over her back as much to console himself as to warm and comfort her.
“Robert told me you were gone, and he told me you were headed to Castle Varrich. I set off immediately, but you were not easy to track. Your father must have anticipated I would follow you, so your driver took a very scenic tour of the area around Stirling before taking this road north. Once I was clear of the town and surrounding villages, I found the only set of carriage tracks and prayed they were yours. I didn’t pass anyone else on the road, but I did pass a village about an hour ago. I will take us there. Hopefully, there is an inn or at least someone willing to take us in.”
“Eddie, I’m tired. Can I sleep, please?”
Edward looked down at the hunched figure leaning against him. No one had called him Eddie since he was a child. He would have been insulted by anyone else who used the diminutive, but it was music coming from Elizabeth. He had his own pet name for her, and he liked that she found one for him.
“No, my love. You can’t sleep. If you do, I might not be able to wake you. You’re tired and the cold is sapping your strength, but I need you to stay with me a little longer. I promise you a hot meal and a bath if I can arrange it.”
“My love? I rather like that.” Edward would have rejoiced if her tone were not so groggy.
“Beth, stay awake. You must stay awake.” He pinched her ribs, but the layers of fabric made it impossible to grip any flesh. “Beth, kiss me.”
“What? I mean I will, but why?”
“If it will keep you awake, then kiss me.”
“Gladly. Why did I waste so much time when we might have been doing this every day?”
Before Edward answered, Elizabeth pressed her lips to his and licked the seam. His surprise had him opening his mouth. Her tongue darted in and swirled around his. It explored all it reached and flicked at his, tempting him to thrust his into her mouth. She welcomed him with a moan as she sucked. She shifted restlessly, and Edward groaned as his cock rubbed against his tight breeches and the horn of his saddle.
“That didn’t sound like a happy groan.”
“It wasn’t, sweetheart. You make me so hard every time I’m near you. Hell, any time you come to mind. And touching you makes me leak as I picture filling you with my cock and my seed. Right now, my cock is screaming, and it’s not in joy.”
Elizabeth swallowed before pulling her skirts to her knees as a surge of freezing air collided against her swollen nether lips. She jostled about but managed to turn to face Edward while straddling his cock rather than the leather beneath them. She arranged her skirts to cover her legs again.
“I would make my confession now.” Elizabeth looked into hazel eyes that smoldered with unspent lust, but something tender flickered there too. “You are the most handsome man I have ever seen. I’m dripping right now. I’m like that every time you’re near. You’re on my mind every night as I bathe, then again when I climb into bed. I picture you when I awake. Each time, I bring myself to release daydreaming about you. I ache right now to learn what it would feel like to join with you. I want to know.”
Edward stared into mossy-colored eyes that were honest if not wary.
“Beth, I won’t take you as my mistress. I won’t dishonor you by compromising you. I want to make love to you. And that’s something I’ve never done before. I’ve coupled, I’ve tupped, I’ve fucked, but I’ve never made love. You’re the only one I want. But I won’t do any of that unless you’re my wife. I will bring you pleasure with my hand and my mouth, but I won’t take what isn't mine.”
“What about if I offer you what is mine to give?”
Edward shook his head.
“That’s not enough, Beth.”
“And once I give in and marry you, you scratch your itch and move on while I’m bound to a man who no longer wants me. I’d rather discover pleasure with you while we both want the same thing than bind ourselves only for you to regret it.”
Edward sat stunned as he looked at the woman he was proposing to a seco
nd time. She assumed he would be unfaithful. She did not want to marry him. But she was willing to couple with him.
“Is there someone else you’d rather move onto? Someone you can have without guilt once you are no longer a virgin? Am I just an itch for you to scratch before you can feel free to bed whoever you want with no maidenhead to protect?” Edward bit out between clenched teeth.
“No. There is no one else. There never has been. My father would never allow it, so what was the point of breaking my own heart?”
“Then you assume I will leave our bed for someone else’s. You already decided I will be unfaithful. Is that the type of cad I’ve proven to be, or are you going off my reputation?” Edward rued the choices of his previous life, the one before Elizabeth.
“I hadn’t really pondered that. But yes, you do have a reputation. And what about when you leave me behind to return to Ireland? You want me to believe you won’t find Sinead again?”
“What do you mean you hadn’t thought of that? What were you thinking? And I’m not going back to Ireland. Never again if I can help it. And if I must, you’re coming with me. I’m not going anywhere else without my wife.”
“I never agreed to marry you. And isn’t it obvious why I assume you’ll keep a mistress?”
“Apparently, it is completely murky to me as to why you’re convinced of that.”
“What man at court doesn’t keep one? Even your brother does. More than one.”
Edward reared back and pulled the horses to a stop.
“I am not my brother. I'm neither Robert nor Edward. I’m not your bluidy father either. In case you, and everyone else in the blasted court, has forgotten, I’m a Highlander. My word is my honor and my pledge. I do not give it unless I mean to carry it out. I’m not interested in another woman. I have no idea what the future holds for either of us, and I can’t foresee if you’ll ever love me as I do you, but regardless of whether we fall in or out of love, I would never shame you or any wife by being unfaithful.”
Elizabeth was shaken by all that Edward poured forth. She tried to take it all in.
“But you bed married women. The bonds of matrimony cannot be that sacred to you.”
“I admit I have. Those women were married in name only. Their husbands had their mistresses and carried on their own lives. It was acceptable to both parties that they take lovers once the wife bred an heir. They may as well have been unwed or widows for the value they placed on their marriages.”
“And that made it all right?”
“It makes it a far sight different from what I want with you. I will not have a marriage in name only with any woman. I would remain a bachelor instead, but I don’t want to remain one. I want to be your husband. I want to get as far from court as we can and make an ordinary life together.”
“As if lairds don’t keep a leman.”
“Elizabeth,” he growled, “I will turn you over my knee. You are picking an argument and testing me when there is no need. I am willing to pledge to you and God that I will have no other woman. Are you questioning my faith too? I’m ready to lay my palm against your arse for being so disagreeable for the sake of being disagreeable.”
“You’re that angry with me?” Elizabeth shrank back.
“I’m not angry. Frustrated. But not angry. I would never spank you out of anger. I don’t hit women. But I would paddle your backside for trying to cause a rift between us.”
Elizabeth studied Edward as she looked into hazel eyes that were windows to an iron will. He did not flinch or look away. Her gaze swept over his body taking in the broad shoulders willing to take on her problems, to share her burden. The strong arms that held her in place and steadied her whenever her world spun, especially when she was near him. She rested her hands on the powerful thighs that carried him as he followed her for her protection. Her hands skimmed up his abdomen and traced the etched muscle as it flexed beneath her palms. She rested her hands over his heart that pounded a steady but rapid pace.
“I believe you. It scares me that you’ll disappoint me. More than disappoint me. Break my heart. Edward, it would crush me if you betrayed me. I want to give my whole self over to you, but if you toss that aside, I can’t imagine how I would recover.”
“Beth, I will never do that. But you don’t give yourself enough credit either. It might seem as though the world would end, but you are indefatigable. You will always survive. Your will is just as steely as mine, and I foresee some epic battles between us, but be reassured no matter what, I will not leave you.” He brushed his lips against hers and murmured, “Call me Eddie. No one else does. It will be yours alone.”
“I’d like to have something that no one else has. Something that is just mine. And no one really calls me Beth anymore now that Deirdre’s left court. Some of my family calls me Lizzie or Liz, but you’re the only one who calls me Beth.”
“Then that shall be mine.”
“Just as I am yours.” Elizabeth held her breath to see if he understood.
Edward sucked in a breath.
“Are you saying yes?”
Elizabeth nodded.
“Say it. I need to hear it,” he beseeched.
“Yes. I am yours as long as you are mine.”
“I’ve only ever been yours. No one else has ever held my heart. I love you, Beth. I don’t understand how I’m certain so soon, but I am.”
“Perhaps it’s God’s will. Perhaps it’s the fae. But try as I might to refuse it, I love you too.”
Edward nudged his horse forward as they came together for a languid kiss. It was not passionless, but rather overflowing with love.
“I promised you a hot meal and a bath. But I would promise you more. I would handfast right now. I don’t want to enter that inn without being married. I want you to have the protection of my name. I fear we’ll be separated because we’re unwed or worse, turned away. I wish to tend you tonight and take care of you. I also don’t want to spend another moment knowing we’re not wed.”
Elizabeth shifted restlessly.
“I want to marry you too. I would handfast as well.” She bit her lip and looked down until he lifted her chin. “I would like for you to be my husband before we are shown a chamber. I want--”
Even with her chin raised, she was unable to look Edward in the eyes.
“Don’t keep secrets from me. What is it? Are you suddenly shy to admit that you want us to make love?”
“Oh, no. I’m not shy to tell you I want you inside me. I want to learn what it’s like to have you thrust into me until I can’t help but scream out your name.”
Edward growled and pounced. His hand cupped the back of her skull as he drove his tongue into her mouth mimicking the motion he intended to use all through the night. When he pulled back, her lips were swollen, and her chin abraded by his stubble. He peppered her chin and jaw with light kisses to take the sting away.
“I’m all right, Eddie. I meant I wanted something else. I just— I can’t admit it.”
“You can tell me anything. Are you embarrassed?”
She nodded her head, and he raised an eyebrow.
“Could I whisper it?”
“Yes.” A shiver shot up his spine as he could not imagine what his bonny little bride might say next. Her comments from a moment ago nearly had his cock explode, and he was tempted to pull her from the horse and take her against a tree. The weather was the only thing that stayed him.
“I want that spanking,” Elizabeth whispered beside his ear. Her warm breath sent another shiver through him, and he trembled when her tongue traced the shell of his ear before flicking and sucking his lobe. “I want your palm against my arse. I’m tired of fighting you. This. I want to give in.”
Elizabeth shrank back and tucked her chin.
“Look at me, Beth.” There was a commanding tone that he never used with her before.
She looked up immediately.
“I will gladly give you what you want. If this is the only time because you don’t enjoy it
after all, that is fine with me. But if you do enjoy it, and you want more, then I will happily oblige both for punishment and pleasure.”
“Is this something you have always liked?” Elizabeth’s voice was tiny as she pictured him spanking other women.
“Stop, Beth. Stop imagining me with someone else. I have never spanked another woman. I’ve never cared enough about one to want to protect her from outside dangers or herself. I haven’t spanked one for pleasure either. There is just something about your arse in my hands that makes me want to touch it in every way I can imagine.”
“Every way?” Elizabeth purred.
Edward looked into her eyes and saw curiosity.
“What knowledge do you have of that?”
“You remember I use the hidden passageways, don’t you? What do you imagine I have heard and observed over the years?”
“You’ve watched people couple?” Edward’s heart sped up.
Elizabeth nodded.
“I learned a great deal about what can happen between a man and a woman, or multiple people.” She scrunched her nose at the end.
“Good, because I’ll never share you.”
She smiled before continuing, “I’ll gouge out a woman’s eyes before letting another touch you. Anyway, that’s how I learned that touching myself brought pleasure.”
“Did you do that while you watched others?”
Elizabeth nodded sheepishly.
“Is that something you plan to continue doing?”
She shook her head. “Not since I met you again. I— I don’t need to. I just picture you. I don’t want to anymore.”
“Good, because I will not have you looking at any naked man but me.”
“And I shall be the only naked woman you look at?”
“Obviously.”
“You’re not repulsed by my immoral behavior?”