“Will we see her often?”
“I expect we will. Just treat her with respect, but don’t let her rule ya. Believe me when I tell ya she’ll try.”
I thought on his words for the next few moments. I was grateful I wouldn’t live with this woman who clearly despised me, but I was also nervous. I was only eighteen, and she was in her mid-sixties. This woman would be part of my life for at least a few more years. I’d have to learn to interact with her or she’d rip me to shreds.
Will took my hands once again, this time kissing my knuckles. “Don’t let it worry ya so much. I wouldn’t’ve married you if I didn’t think ya had the stamina to overcome my mother. Now, have ya finished with your dessert?”
Glancing down, I realized I’d eaten the remainder of my strawberries and cream. I’d been so absorbed in conversation, I’d forgotten the rest of the world around me. Sheepishly, I grinned. “Yes, I s’pose I have.”
Will smiled his roguish grin, making the lines beside his eyes crinkle and the dimple in his left cheek more noticeable. “Then I suggest we retire for the evenin’.”
Imagining the night ahead, my face flushed. Standing now, Will moved behind my chair and pulled it out for me to stand. “Shall we, Mrs. Harrison?”
WILL HASTINGS, MY husband of only a few hours, was gentler than I’d ever hoped or imagined. I’d never lain with a man, so the mental images of what was to come left me near panic. Mother Elizabeth had talked to me before the ceremony. In spite of my embarrassment and her own, she’d even explained the mechanics of sex. Still I was unprepared. Will led me into our room and closed the door behind us.
“I felt ya shakin’ all the way up the stairs, Victoria.” Stepping toward me, he cradled my face in the palms of his large hands and stared intently into my eyes until I couldn’t look away. “Never be afraid of me, because I’ll never hurt ya. If I’m ever too rough, ya need only tell me. Understood?”
Unable to speak, I nodded. My eyes were round and my heart beat frantically within my chest. I held my breath.
Leaning toward me, Will touched his lips to mine. It was barely the whisper of a caress, but it was the first real kiss he’d given me. In fact, it was the first real kiss I’d ever received from anyone. Until that moment—and even at the church that morning—every kiss we’d shared had been chaste and unremarkable. This kiss was different—I felt it all the way to my toes.
Will slid his hands to the nape of my neck and weaved his fingers between the strands of my long hair. Holding my head firmly in place, he deepened his kiss, this time touching his tongue to the seam of my closed lips. Shocked, I snapped my head back.
“Breathe, Victoria.” Will smiled. “Ya need to breathe or you’ll faint. Just relax and let me kiss ya properly.”
I studied him, assessing the complete sincerity in his expression. Then, breathing in a deep breath, I stepped closer to Will until there was no space between us. To the surprise of both of us, I think, I brought my mouth to his.
“That’s my girl.” Will grinned, then lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bed in the middle of our small room.
HOURS LATER, I lay beside Will and listened to the sound of his not-so-gentle snoring. I thought about all that had transpired. I remembered my surprise at not only the initial pain, but the pleasant feelings that followed. Will was patient, soothing me with words of comfort. Soon I was cocooned in warmth and belonging. Though I’d been sheltered and loved by Mother Elizabeth and Father Caleb, I’d always felt like an outsider—a guest. I’d never felt I truly belonged. That night, Will made me feel truly loved. I felt like I’d come home, like I finally belonged.
THE NEXT MORNING, I awoke just moments before dawn. I thought I’d sneak out of bed and complete my morning ablutions, but a movement beside me made me aware I was not the only one awake. I stiffened in surprise when Will’s arm came around me. He pulled me close and into the warmth of his large body.
“Mornin’, Mrs. Harrison.” I knew Will was smiling. I could tell by the sound of his voice.
“Good mornin’, Mr. Harrison.” I relaxed slightly.
Nudging my shoulder until I lay on my back below him, Will stared down into my eyes. “You are simply stunning, Victoria.”
Heat flooded my cheeks and I tried to look away, but he’d have none of it. Catching my chin between his knuckles and his thumb, Will turned my face back toward him until I had no choice but to look him in the eye. “I mean that. You’re beautiful.”
It’s not that I thought I was ugly. It’s more that I’d never considered it at all. I was taller than most young women my age, with small breasts and an unremarkable face. My crowning glory was my hair, which I’d refused to cut as most women were doing at the time. It was thick and long—a deep reddish-brown that glowed with blond highlights in the sunlight.
I shook my head. “Thank you. But I don’t need flattery. I’m tall and plain. That’s okay with me.”
“How is it ya lack no end of confidence in any other area, but I tell ya you’re beautiful and ya can’t accept a compliment? I’ll have to work on that.”
With a gleam in his eye, Will placed his lips against mine until butterflies danced in my belly. Understanding his purpose, I pulled away from his kiss. “Will, it’s mornin’.”
Will glanced around the room and feigned surprise. “Well, what d’ya know? It sure is.” Bringing his head toward mine again, he gifted me with another leisurely kiss.
Swatting away his wayward hands, I pulled away a second time. “Will, it’s daylight!”
Will glanced around the room once again and grinned. “So it is.”
As his head moved toward mine in an obvious attempt at another kiss, I pushed him back with the palms of my hands. “Will! Your intentions are a nighttime activity!”
“My beautiful Victoria,” he laughed. “Ya still have a lot to learn about marriage, so I think it’s best we get started right away.”
I gave up. All thoughts disappeared as Will slowly made love to me again.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE HORSES MOVED SLOWLY IN THE SWELTERING heat of the hot Oklahoma sun. While automobiles were becoming more common, they were expensive, and Will had yet to find a need for one.
Now that the anxiety of the previous day’s events was behind us, Will and I conversed easily. We talked about a variety of topics, and discovered we shared many common interests. We both loved to read, and we talked at great length about books. I was learning that I liked this man I’d married. He was funny, kind, quick-witted, and just a little bit devious. He made me laugh, and he made me want to make him laugh in return. About a mile from the farm, conversation turned to the previous day’s events.
“Tell me about the black-eyed Susans,” Will said.
“You didn’t like ’em?”
“Actually, I liked them very much. But I’m curious why ya chose ’em.”
I shrugged. “I wanted somethin’ different; somethin’ unique. You seemed to like ’em, and I’d be lyin’ if I didn’t admit I was flattered when ya said they reminded you of me.”
Will grinned. “I wondered if that might’ve played into your decision.”
“Mother Elizabeth almost had a conniption,” I laughed.
“How so?”
“She said they weren’t the type of flower young ladies chose for weddin’ bouquets. She referred to them as a ‘poor man’s flower.’”
Will’s laughter filled me with pleasure. Somehow making this man laugh gave me more joy than I’d had in a very long while.
“I s’pose that’s a fair description,” he replied. “They grow everywhere out near the farm. In fact, you’ll likely get sick of ’em before too long.”
“Oh, I doubt that. They’ve become my favorite,” I admitted.
Will smiled, but said nothing for several moments. Finding his words he said, “And even though Mrs. Kirk disliked them, ya still put your foot down?”
“I did.” I nodded. “It was important to me.”
�
�I’m glad.”
We drove in silence for many minutes before I responded. “I’m glad, too.”
WE ARRIVED AT the farm in the early part of the afternoon. Waiting in the yard were all five of Will’s children and three scraggly dogs. The dogs barked viciously as though to discourage us from trespassing; yet their tails wagged wildly, easing my anxiety that they might truly be aggressive.
“Damn dogs,” Will muttered.
Halting the horses and pulling the wagon to a stop, Will herded the dogs out of his way before helping me down to the ground below.
“Victoria … Daddy!” one of the twins hollered. “Look at the frogs we found down by the creek!”
“Nice job, Joseph! Now hold onto ’em so they don’t go jumpin’ all over your new stepmother.” Will turned to his oldest two daughters. “Are your grandparents here?”
“No, Daddy,” said Olivia. “They brought us home, then headed back to their place. Grampy said …” she paused, apparently afraid to say something inappropriate.
“What did Grampy say, Olivia?” Will prompted. “You should speak openly in front of Victoria. She’s family now.”
“Well.” Her face flushed crimson. “Grampy said he oughta get Granny Imogene home on account of how she’d already caused enough trouble yesterday.”
Will’s laughter rang out around us and sent the dogs into a tizzy of frantic barking.
“Yeah, she sure did at that!” Taking my hand, Will placed it in the crook of his arm and turned toward the house. “Daniel. Joseph. Y’all two go on up in the bed of the wagon and bring in Victoria’s things. Be careful not to drop anything—ya don’t know what’s breakable in there.”
“Yes sir,” they answered together, and I wondered if I’d ever tell them apart.
“Daddy?” Catherine grinned a toothless smile. “What can I do? I wanna help the boys! I’m big and strong enough!”
“Go on, Catherine,” he said. “But mind your brothers. If they tell ya something’s too heavy, then ya let them carry it and stay outta their way. Understand?”
“Yes sir!” Catherine raced off after her brothers.
“Girls,” Will said to Caroline and Olivia together, “why don’t y’all two come with us while I give Victoria a tour of the farm. I wanna walk her through the things she’ll need to learn around here. I expect you’ll help her get the hang of things?”
“Yes, sir,” they replied. Together we toured the farm and all the things I’d need to know to be a farmer’s wife.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
FARM LIFE WAS LIKE NOTHING I’D EVER EXPERIENCED and much harder than I’d ever expected. Each morning, we awoke long before the sun rose in the sky to feed the animals nearest the house. Then Will took the boys out to the pasture and worked the fields. The girls and I worked together to manage the house, feed the livestock, and care for the horses.
At the end of each day, I was exhausted and fell easily into bed; yet I also found myself invigorated at the hard work I’d learned to do. I’d come from town not knowing the difference between a hog and a pig. After only a month, I’d learned not only the difference between the two, but I could milk cows and snatch eggs out from beneath a laying hen. I still caused a ruckus in the henhouse, but Caroline promised that stealth came with practice.
That first month of marriage passed quickly, and I loved the life I’d chosen. I loved the quiet of the early mornings and the late evenings. Farm life meant peaceful evenings and no nosy neighbors. Visitors were announced long in advance by the overzealous greeting of Will’s dogs, and receiving guests was always a surprise. Most mornings I awakened before sunrise to the beautiful music of birds chirping nearby. At night, Will and I often sat on the front porch swing, just listening to the crickets and watching the lightning bugs glow in the dark. I loved life, and I loved the family I’d adopted as my own.
Caroline and Olivia had welcomed me as a friend and, together, the three of us worked to complete our daily chores. The boys and Catherine, on the other hand, needed firmer discipline. They were good children, though, and the entire family welcomed me far better than I’d hoped.
More than anything, Will was a surprise to me. We hadn’t known each other well before taking our vows, but I’d believed from our short acquaintance we’d be compatible. The truth was, I never expected to enjoy Will so much. He was, without any doubt, the finest man I’d ever known—kind, generous, sensitive, and always gentle.
Will was a farmer by birth and by trade, but he was a gentleman at heart. He never took my existence for granted. He rose when I entered a room, and always pulled a chair out for me to sit. He treated me with kindness and respect. Requiring the same of his sons, he taught them to be gentlemen through his own example.
More important than anything, Will listened to me. Every night without fail, he sat with me in the swing or held me close after we retired to our room. Together we shared the day’s experiences in the absence of the other. He listened to my thoughts. He cared about my concerns. He nourished my soul by his desire to know more about my hopes and my dreams. Though I was still learning to be a farmer’s wife, he never made me feel inadequate. He was tender and kind—more than I’d ever dreamed possible in a husband. He tore down my defenses and, together, we built a life based upon friendship and trust. Though the days were exhausting, we usually found energy to comfort each other as only a husband and wife can do. I’d sworn never to love, but Will Harrison made me a liar. It was impossible not to fall in love with him.
JUNE AND JULY passed in a haze of sweltering Oklahoma heat, and August arrived promising the same. The first week of August brought Julianne for a visit. This wasn’t her first visit, but it was a surprise as we’d seen each other only two days earlier. She found me in the kitchen, kneading a loaf of dough for that night’s meal.
“There’s something I need to tell ya,” she said. “I wanted to tell ya when I was here the other day, but I wasn’t sure I was ready.”
Brushing my hands off on my apron, I turned to her with a smile. “Well, tell me then! What is it?”
“I’m havin’ a baby,” Julianne said, barely containing her excitement.
The world spun around me. Julianne was having a baby. I heard the words, but I had trouble understanding them. Julianne—lovely, petite, Julianne—was having a baby.
My mind raced with thoughts of my mother—those days before Christmas, the tree, her singing while we decorated, and the eventual silence. I’d once been told childbirth was normal and nothing to worry about. But Mama hadn’t been fine. A baby—a pregnancy—caused the loss of everything I’d ever known. Now Julianne, my best friend and big sister, was having one of her own. I sat there, unable to find the words to speak.
“Oh, God, Victoria! Are ya okay?” Julianne rushed to my side and helped me sit at the table. “You’ve turned as white as a ghost!”
Collecting myself, I pasted a smile on my face. “I’m sorry. I just—I don’t know what to say.”
Julianne’s joy lit up the entire room. “Well congratulate me, silly! I’m gonna be a mama, and you’re gonna be Auntie Victoria!”
“Congratulations, Julianne.” My voice sounded wooden to my own ears. “I’m happy for ya.”
Julianne’s eyebrows drew together, and she studied me. “No, you’re not. Tell me what’s wrong. I thought you’d be happy. This is what I’ve always wanted!”
Reaching across the table, I took her hands and forced myself to smile. “I am happy for ya. I’m just surprised is all. Ya took me off-guard and I just need a moment to get used to the idea. Really.”
Julianne graciously accepted my words at face value, but I knew I’d hurt her. My reaction had created a divide between us, and carrying on a normal, easy conversation proved impossible. Soon after, Julianne made excuses and returned home long before she would have on any other day. Bidding her goodbye, I watched her walk down the path toward her home and life with Earl Sykes.
DINNER THAT NIGHT was quiet—I couldn’t stop thinking about
Julianne. Sensing my mood, Will and the children gave me a wide berth, allowing me to wallow in my thoughts.
With dinner completed and the dishes washed and put away properly, I escaped to the bedroom under the pretense of a crushing headache. After changing into my bedclothes, I climbed under the warm blankets of our bed. There I hid, and privately explored my reaction to Julianne’s news. I wanted to be happy for her, I really did. But grief and fear washed over me. For the first time since Daddy’s death, I cried freely—for my mama, for my baby brother, and for my daddy. I cried for Mama’s pain, and I cried for my own loss at Daddy’s death. More than that, I cried for Julianne, Earl Sykes, and our parents. What if history repeated itself? How would they survive losing Julianne?
I sobbed until my tears ran dry. Exhausted, I was almost asleep when the door to our bedroom opened. Moving on quiet feet, Will removed his clothing and hung them on the peg beside the door. The bed dipped with his weight as he crawled in beside me. He adjusted the blankets over his large frame, then laid quietly for several moments.
“Victoria,” he said, breaking the silence. “Ya can’t pretend you’re sleepin’. I know you’re still awake. Talk to me.”
“I can’t,” I whispered, my throat sore from crying.
Will wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. “Yes, ya can. There’s nobody better to listen and ease your pain than me. Now tell me.”
I lay there a moment, collecting my thoughts, unsure how to explain my fears. I didn’t know where to begin, so I started with Julianne.
“Julianne was here today.”
The silence that followed was thick. The clock on the mantel ticked down the seconds, while we each waited for the other to break the quiet stillness of our bedroom.
“I saw her leavin’ earlier. What’d she have to say?” Will asked.
I swallowed a lump in my throat and pushed the tears back from behind my eyelids. “Julianne and Earl—they’re havin’ a baby.”
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