I grabbed for his arm, stilling his progress. “I can ruin you, Gene. All I have to do is tell people what you’ve done.”
Turning back toward me, Gene studied my hand on his arm until I dropped it to my side. His eyes now meeting mine, he lifted his brow in challenge. “Ya don’t really think that’ll ruin me, do ya? Who’d believe ya? Most people in town will see ya as some desperate widow, just tryin’ to sink your claws into me so ya can feed your kids. Hell, even your own family wouldn’t believe ya. I heard your mother-in-law doesn’t even believe those kids ya already have are Will’s. Don’t think people’ve forgotten she called ’em bastards at your own husband’s funeral.”
In that moment, I lost my mind. Looking back, I remember the sequence of events unfold as though I was an outsider watching. I threw myself at Gene with more force than I realized I had. My fist connected with his nose, and blood gushed onto the wood floor. My nails sliced down the sides of his face, leaving long scratches from temple to chin. I used everything in my possession to hurt him. How dare he leave me to pick up the pieces! He would not get away with this! I’d kill him, if it was the last thing I ever did.
Gene’s fist flew out of nowhere, connecting with my lip and loosening a tooth. I spit blood onto the floor. Trying to stand, I didn’t see his second swing coming. The force of it sent me flying backwards. I crashed into the bedside table and blindly lay there as everything atop it rained down upon me. The pain of that second blow left stars dotting my vision. Gene backhanded me once again, this time knocking the wind completely out of me. I gasped for breath, but the more I reached for air, the harder it was to breathe. I didn’t know whether to run, fight back, or play dead. Before I could make a decision, Gene grabbed my hair and yanked me upright. Bringing my face close to his own, our noses nearly touching, he looked at me through the blackness of his dead eyes.
“Now you listen here, ya stupid bitch.” Spit flew from his mouth and landed near my left eye, but I didn’t dare wipe it away. I couldn’t if I’d wanted to. “I don’t care if this child is mine, the grocer’s, or the milkman’s. I will not claim it, and I’ll deny any and every allegation ya make towards me. And I’m pretty confident I’ll be believed. But even if I’m not, there’s not a damned thing ya can do about it. Ya made your bed; now lie in it.”
Gene released my hair and stepped back, leaving me to fall to the floor like a rag doll. Strands of my hair hung from his fingers, and he brushed them off carelessly to the floor, spitting on it to add further insult. “I can’t believe you’re so stupid! Did ya do this on purpose, thinkin’ you’d trap me into marryin’ ya and takin’ on those brats of yours as my own?”
I shook my head. My jaw throbbed, and I wasn’t sure I could even form the words.
“I’ll tell ya what, Victoria.” Gene narrowed his eyes and tapped his top lip with a fat finger. “I’m gonna do ya one last favor because I like ya and because we’ve had a good time. But don’t ask me for another damned thing. Understood?”
I nodded.
“I’m gonna give ya three more months on the loan, outta the kindness of my heart. Take those three months to figure out how to come up with the money. Maybe make use of your ‘special skills.’ But at the end of those three months—by the second Wednesday in May—I’m done. If ya can’t make the payments, then the bank’ll take the house and land. Figure out what you’re gonna do, but don’tcha ever contact me again, unless it relates to the payment on your loan. Got it?”
Once again, I nodded. I couldn’t speak if I’d wanted. My teeth were chattering, and I could feel one wiggle against the others. I was cold all over. With those last words, Gene grabbed his jacket off the back of the rocker and left the house, slamming the door behind him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
“OH MY GOSH, VICTORIA!” CATHERINE RACED toward me. “What happened to your face?”
The children had just arrived home from school. I’d spent the last few hours cleaning up the broken pieces in my bedroom, and trying to come up with a believable story about my bruises. My right eye was badly swollen and turning black; and my nose was nearly twice its normal size, making it difficult to breathe. I was sure it was broken.
“Mama?” Gracie’s eyes filled with tears. “What happened?”
Jack stood behind his sisters, watching. His little fists clenched tight as though he was preparing to fight whatever demon had invaded our home. I wished, for a moment, he was older and could protect us.
“I’m okay.” I attempted a smile, but raised my fingers to my split lip as sharp pain assaulted me. “Don’t y’all get all worked up. A damned armadillo took up residence in the barn, and just about scared me to death when he darted out in front of me. I tripped over somethin’ and bashed my face against one of the empty pens.”
“Are ya sure you’re okay?” Catherine stepped closer, her eyes narrowed as she examined my lip. “Where’s Ethan?”
“He’s still at Aunt Julianne’s. She’s watchin’ him today. I’ve been a little shaken up since my fall, and haven’t felt like fetchin’ him yet. Why don’tcha take Jack and Gracie, and go get him for me.”
“Okay.” Catherine studied me another moment, then took Grace and Jack by their hands and turned reluctantly toward the door. “C’mon y’all. Let’s go get Ethan.”
Breaking away from her sister, Grace ran toward me and threw her arms around my waist. “I love you, Mama.”
“Me too, baby,” I replied.
With the children gone, I sat at the table and pondered my next move. I had three months, and then the house would be gone. What was I going to do? I didn’t have long to think about it. The children had barely left when I heard a vehicle approaching the house. Going to the window, I pulled back the now-dry, rust-stained blanket and spotted Caroline and Olivia coming up the drive. I hadn’t seen the girls since the infant boy’s burial. They’d been so upset at my decision not to name him that they’d stayed away since. I’d missed them. I wondered what brought them out my way, and whether they’d forgiven me. Stepping out of the house, I waited for the truck to come to a stop.
Opening the door and stepping onto the barren ground first was Caroline from the passenger’s side, followed closely by Olivia. They stood in front of me, maybe ten feet away, each of us staring at one another. None of us knew how to proceed. After an uncomfortable moment, Olivia squared her shoulders and offered me a tentative smile.
“Victoria,” she said softly. “We’ve missed ya.”
I wanted to pull them into my arms and hug them close, but I admit it—I was afraid. They had been the ones to avoid me, not the other way around. As much as I wanted their friendship and approval, I could not change how I was.
Clearing my throat, I nodded. “I’ve missed you, too. It’s good to see ya.”
Standing between Olivia and me, Caroline watched the two of us, her eyes moving back and forth as though watching a tennis match in slow motion. Blowing out a frustrated sigh, she grabbed Olivia’s arm and pulled her toward me. “Good lord! Y’all two are the most hardheaded women I’ve ever known! We’re sorry, Victoria! We love ya! Now give us a hug, and tell us ya love us as much as we love you!”
With their arms around me, I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Relief overwhelmed me, and I bit the inside of my cheek to stave off tears. I tightened my arms around them. “I’ve missed you, too. Both of ya.”
Olivia wiped away a tear and leaned back to look me in the eye. “And we’re forgiven?”
Stepping out of their arms, I waved a hand. “We’re family. There’s nothin’ to forgive. Now, what brings y’all out here?”
Noticing my bruises for the first time, Olivia gasped. “What happened to your face?”
I shook my head. “Ah, it’s nothin’. Got scared by an armadillo in the barn, and I tripped on somethin’ and landed face-first on some farm equipment. I’ll be okay.”
“Are ya sure?” Caroline reached out a hand as though to touch my face, then returned it to her side.
; “I said I’m fine. Now tell me: what brings ya out here?”
Olivia and Caroline exchanged a look, their eyes speaking an entire conversation without uttering a word.
“What?” I asked. “Is somethin’ wrong?”
Caroline blew out a breath and looped her arm through mine, leading me toward the house. “We need to talk. Can we go inside?”
“Of course,” I said, keeping pace with Caroline as we approached the front door. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” Olivia said. “We just have some news we need to tell ya.”
Holding the door open for the girls to enter, my stomach churned. Coming to see me after so long to give me “news” could only mean bad news. Seating them at the kitchen table, I sat across from my two stepdaughters and folded my hands on the table. “Okay, girls. Spit it out. What is it?”
Caroline breathed in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “We’ve practiced this conversation a dozen times, but I’m still not sure where to start. I have no idea how to say this.”
“Now you’re scarin’ me. Just tell me. Start at the beginning.”
Caroline and Olivia exchanged glances again, and Olivia nodded encouragement at her sister. Nodding, Caroline began. “The bank is callin’ in the loan on our land. We have to be out by the end of next month.”
“Oh no! What’re y’all gonna do?” I asked. “How can I help?”
“There’s nothin’ you can do,” Olivia said. “You’ve got enough on your hands as it is, what with the little ones and all. It’s bad for everyone.”
“John and Jefferson talked it over, and they don’t see any other choice,” Caroline continued. “We don’t have any real way to make money without the farm, and this dirt is everywhere. The Halls lost their grandmother a few months back, then seven-year-old Helen two days ago.”
“Oh, my God!” I said. “I knew about Old Lady Hall, but I had no idea about the little girl! The family must be beside themselves.”
“They are,” Olivia agreed.
“The thing is,” said Caroline, “we’re scared. When those black clouds come through, it chokes out everything. We can’t see our own hands in front of our faces, let alone breathe. It gets in our eyes so we can’t see, and even in our noses and ears. Everything tastes like dust and dirt, and I can’t get the taste out of my mouth! Even when it’s rained, it’s more like drops of mud as it mixes with the dirt in the air. It’s everywhere, and I can’t stand it anymore. We can’t stand it. And we’re scared. Scared of what comes next. Scared of how we’re gonna survive. Scared of our babies catchin’ that dust pneumonia. There’s just nothin’ we can do. Not if we stay here.”
My heart stopped. I knew what they would say next, but I hoped I was wrong. “What’re ya sayin’?”
Long moments passed before Olivia spoke. “Ya know what we’re sayin’, Victoria. We have to go. We can’t stay here anymore. There’s nothin’ for us.”
“But where will ya go?”
“The men think California. They saw some papers advertisin’ work there. Pickin’ fruit, I think,” Olivia said.
I nodded. “I’d heard about those adverts. It’s hard work, pickin’ all day. Back-breakin’, I’d imagine.”
“It is, I’m sure.” Caroline nodded. “But it’s work. And there’s no dirt and dust. The children could breathe better, and work means food and clothing. And shoes. Ellen’s four now, and she needs shoes badly. I can’t let her walk around barefoot, what with the heat in summer and the cold in winter. She hasn’t had new shoes in so long the tops of her feet are grownin’ humps—her bones just have no room to grow in the shoes she’s got, and we can’t afford to get her new ones.”
“Oh my God.” I massaged the bridge of my nose, hoping to stave off the headache forming between my eyes.
There was nothing I could say. It was hard for all of us, but I had enough kids in enough different size shoes that they all had a pair that fit. I’d taken to wearing some of Will’s old boots, and given mine to Catherine since her feet were smaller. She gave hers to Jack; then Jack gave his old ones to Ethan. We made do.
Clothing was a different matter. Most of us had started using old flour sacks to make and repair clothing for the children. It wasn’t nice, but it was serviceable, and the flour companies had even started putting floral patterns on them. Every stitch of fabric was saved and reused. If it wasn’t large enough to make into clothing, we used it to patch existing clothing. Sometimes we’d piece it together to make quilts. I hated those quilts. In later years when the hardships of these days passed, I refused to have a patchwork quilt in my home. I never wanted to see one again.
“So ya see, we gotta go,” Olivia said. “To survive. We can’t stay here anymore.”
“We came to see if you’d go with us,” said Caroline. “We’re packing as much as we can now, and John expects us to head out in about another week or ten days.”
“So soon?”
“There’s no reason to stay. We can’t pack much anyway, what with all of us in the truck,” Olivia said. “Will ya go with us? Please?”
My world stopped turning. I was losing my family. They were leaving, and I couldn’t go with them.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “I don’t have two nickels to rub together. There’s no way you’d fit me and the babies in your truck, along with what belongings you’ll need to take. I’d have to bring our truck, too, and there’s not enough money for it. I’d only make it as far as Weatherford, and then only if I was lucky.”
Caroline and Olivia exchanged yet another look, once again communicating full thoughts without saying a word.
Olivia cleared her throat. “Joseph and Daniel are goin’ with us. They can’t make a livin’ on their share of the land, and they don’t want us to go without ’em.”
My breath left my body. I was losing my boys, too! Not only did I love them as my own, but how could I save the farm without their help?
“There’s one more thing,” said Olivia.
I shook my head. “I’m not sure I wanna hear it. I’m not sure I can handle hearing more.”
“Ya have to. We wanna take Catherine with us,” Olivia said.
“No!” My voice echoed throughout the small room. “Ya can’t take Catherine! Ya can’t!”
“She’s seventeen, Victoria. She’s old enough to make up her own mind. Troy Snyder’s coming with us. He says he’s gonna marry her.”
“Oh no, he’s not! Over my dead body! She’s just a child, and he’s … he’s … he’s a drifter! He’s nothin’! He doesn’t have a penny to his name! He can’t have Catherine. I won’t allow it.”
Caroline and Olivia watched me with twin expressions of sympathy.
“I don’t think you’re gonna have much choice,” Olivia replied. “You’ve been so busy with all that’s goin’ on around here that you’ve not been payin’ attention to what Catherine’s been up to. She’s in love with him. Surely you’ve seen the way she looks at him.”
“I did.” My shoulders fell. “I’d noticed, but I thought it was just a crush. She’s only seventeen.”
“You were barely eighteen when ya married our daddy,” Caroline said.
“That was different.”
“How?” asked Caroline. “You were eighteen, but Daddy was in his early forties. At least Troy’s closer to her age. They already have a lot in common, and they enjoy each other’s company. If ya didn’t have so much on your plate, you’d’ve noticed that.”
“Does Catherine know this—that you’re leavin’?” I asked. “Does she know Troy’s goin’ with ya? That he’s plannin’ to marry her?”
“Not about California.” Caroline shook her head. “I don’t know if she knows Troy wants to marry her, but I don’t think she’d be surprised. If he asks her to go with him, I feel sure she’ll go.”
“But you’re breaking up this family,” I said.
“We don’t have any other choice,” Olivia replied. “We don’t wanna go; we have to. We can’t live
here anymore. Maybe someday things’ll be better, and we can come back; but right now we gotta go.”
“So that’s it, then? Ya just leave, and take half my family with ya when ya go?”
“It’s our family, too,” Olivia said. “And you’re our family. We love you. We love the babies. We’ll see y’all again sometime. But we have to do this to survive. I know ya understand—or at least ya will when you give it more thought. We just can’t stay.”
Silence descended upon us, as we each waited for someone else to say something—anything. Finally, I came to the only decision I could.
“Fine,” I said. “When d’ya plan on tellin’ Catherine?”
“We saw her headin’ over to Aunt Julianne’s with Jack and Gracie as we were comin’ up the drive. We could just stay and tell her when she gets back—if that’s okay with you,” Caroline said.
“Doesn’t seem like I have much choice, do I?”
“Ya always have a choice, Victoria,” said Olivia. “But we hope you’ll support us in this, because we don’t really have any other alternative.”
I offered the girls a small smile. It pulled on my busted lip, but I knew I needed to give them some reassurance. “Just give me time. I’m angry right now, and I’m not sure how to understand all of this. But, talk to Catherine when she gets back. If she wants to go, I won’t stop her. If she doesn’t wanna go, you’ll have to get through me to take her. But do not tell her Troy Snyder plans to marry her. Let him do that in his own time, if he wants to. Tell her he plans on goin’ along, if ya want, but let her make the decision to follow her own heart; regardless of what Troy wants.”
“Fair enough,” said Caroline.
There was nothing fair about it. I was losing my family. When Will died, I had nine children with a tenth on the way. We were now down to eight, and I was losing five more.
The Edge of Nowhere Page 17