Always

by Iris Johansen

  Dinner? Her gaze flew to the French doors across the room. The sky was flushed with the scarlet and pink of sunset. She must have been unconscious almost an entire day. No wonder Clancy Donahue had been concerned, she thought grimly. He’d probably thought he was going to have to face a murder charge as well as the one for kidnapping. He would face those charges as soon as she found a way out of here. There was no way he was going to get away with this!

  The French doors. Lisa acted without thinking, tossing the covers aside, slipping out of bed, and running toward the doors. They were unlocked! The tiles still held the afternoon heat and were hot beneath her bare feet as she dashed across the courtyard. There was a brass-bracketed mahogany door in the stone wall surrounding the yard, but she ignored it. Donahue had said there would be guards at all the entrances, but they wouldn’t expect her to go over that seven-foot wall. The wall was covered with a thick blanket of fragrant honeysuckle that just might give her enough purchase to climb to the top. She scrambled recklessly up the vines, ignoring the fact that her slight weight was tearing them off the wall. Let Donahue get a gardener to repair the damage. She hoped it cost him a bundle.

  When she had reached the top of the wall, she paused a moment to catch her breath—and then lost it again. There were two men below, only a scant ten feet from where she crouched! Their backs were turned to her, thank goodness. If she was lucky … The wall bordered a stretch of private beach, and the surf was a hushed roar only a few yards from where the guards were standing. She’d be leaping down onto a soft cushion of sand and they might not hear her. Lisa murmured a fervent prayer, jumped to the ground, and set off running without looking around to see if she’d been heard by the guards.

  The familiar skyscraper of the hotel casino towered on the horizon. If she could make it there, surely she could appeal to one of the guests for help, even if most of the staff were under Donahue’s control. She felt a sharp pain in the arch of her right foot as a shell cut into it, but she didn’t have time to stop and worry about it.

  “Lisa, stop, dammit!”

  Donahue! Her heart jerked and then started pounding wildly. Her pace increased, her bare feet flying over the sand.

  “Blast it, Lisa, stop! I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Oh, Lord, he sounded as if he were right on top of her. She couldn’t go any faster. Her lungs were aching now, and there was an agonizing stitch in her side. The hotel seemed closer. If she could just block out the pain and keep runn—

  She pitched forward into the sand, felled by a neat tackle behind her knees. The little breath she had remaining was knocked out of her, and for a moment she struggled wildly to regain it. She was vaguely aware of being flipped over and of powerful thighs straddling her own. Instinctively she started struggling and was immediately punished by having her wrists pinned above her head.

  “Give it up!” Donahue’s voice was rough. “Don’t you know when you’re beaten? I realized the second John told me you were awake that I’d better get back to you. I came just in time to see you perched on the wall like a seagull.”

  “I’m not beaten.” She’d gained enough breath back to gasp that out, at least. She tried to lift her leg to knee him, but his weight was too great to budge. “I’m never going to let you beat me, Donahue.”

  “And to think I was worrying about how fragile you were a few hours ago,” Clancy muttered. “You’d think I would have learned by now how deadly the female of the species can be.”

  “Let me go!” Lisa tugged desperately, but his grip was manacle hard about her wrists. “I’ll show you how deadly I can be. I’m going to murder you, Donahue.”

  “So John informed me.”

  “Your baby-faced hoodlum friend?” Her eyes blazed into his. “He at least had the intelligence to believe I meant it.”

  “If he’d had any intelligence, he wouldn’t have left you alone. I told him to stay with you until I came back. I was afraid you’d do something stupid like this when you regained consciousness.”

  “Stupid? You think trying to escape is stupid?”

  “I think fighting any lost cause is stupid,” he said harshly. “And this is a lost cause, Lisa. I’m not letting you go.”

  She had a vague memory of hearing him say something similar before … but it had sounded different somehow. Impatiently she dismissed the thought. It had probably been her imagination or that damn drug Donahue had given her. “I’ll get away. If not now, then later. I won’t let you do this to me.”

  “Lisa …” His blue eyes gazed into her own, and she inhaled sharply as a wave of heat washed over her, drowning her anger with an entirely new emotion. She was suddenly conscious of the power of his muscled thighs as they effortlessly held her own limbs still. He was so big, so powerful; she was so weak and ineffectual by comparison. Her heart started to beat wildly again as if with fear, but it wasn’t fear she was experiencing.

  No! She wouldn’t feel like this. She had heard hostages sometimes developed kinky sexual desires for their captors, but she wasn’t like that. Yet her breasts beneath the satin pajama top were moving up and down with the force of her breathing, and she saw Donahue’s eyes move compulsively to that betraying disturbance. “Don’t fight me,” he said hoarsely. She could see his own pulse drumming wildly in the hollow of his throat. “I’d never hurt you. Don’t you know that?”

  “I don’t know anything about you.” Lisa closed her eyes to escape the sight of him. That was worse somehow, for now that she couldn’t see him, she was more aware of the scents of musk and soap that emanated from him and the burning touch of his thigh through the layers of material that separated them. She opened her eyes again and met his with a fresh sense of shock. So intense. Smoky, intimate, wanting. “I don’t want to know anything about you,” she murmured.

  “I think you’re lying.” His thumb on her left wrist was absently stroking the sensitive pulse point.

  Lisa felt a flash of heat tingle through her. Oh, dear heaven, she doubted if he was even aware of what he was doing to her. A surge of intense desire set her trembling.

  “I think you’re feeling the same thing I am. In the physical sense, at least, I think you want to know everything about me.”

  “No, I—” She broke off. It was no use denying it. They weren’t children who had no knowledge of sex. She was sure the signs were unmistakable to a man of his experience. “It doesn’t mean anything,” she said fiercely. “It’s a biological reaction that’s totally irrelevant. Get off me, Donahue.”

  “Soon.” His gaze traveled lingeringly over the gentle swell of her breasts. Lisa felt an immediate peaking and knew it was visible through the thin satin. She looked at his face, expecting to see triumph. Instead there was only desire and heat and a curious sense of wonder. “How lovely that is. I wish I could see just how beautiful you are.”

  She felt the air leave her lungs as abruptly as the moment he’d tackled her. “No!”

  Reluctantly Clancy pulled his gaze up to meet her own. “No,” he agreed. “I know I can’t do that. I just said that I wanted to. There’s a difference between wanting and taking.” He released her wrists. “It’s been a long time since I found it necessary to take. I don’t think I’d find it satisfying any longer. You don’t have to worry about me forcing you into my bed. I want you to want me.” His lips tightened. “For God’s sake, don’t be afraid of me. I couldn’t stand that.”

  She shook her head. “This is insane. Why shouldn’t I be afraid of you? You kidnapped me and now you tell me you want me to go to bed with you.”

  Clancy stood up and reached down to pull her to her feet. “What is there to be afraid of?” He smiled faintly. “You want me, too. I’ll wait until you’re ready for me. I can be very patient when I want something.” He took her elbow and pushed her gently in the direction of the villa. “Don’t you think we’d better go back to the house? We have some talking to do.”

  Automatically she fell into step with him. Why wasn’t she fighting him? His grip
on her arm was almost gentle despite its firmness, yet she had the impression any resistance would be instantly quelled. She would have to bide her time until she had another opportunity to escape. She had almost made it. Surely she would succeed in eluding him next time.

  “You’re suddenly very docile. Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “I’m not docile.” Lisa looked straight ahead. “Like you, I can be very patient when I want something.”

  He chuckled. “I should have known. My first impression of you was of gentle fragility. Who would have guessed there was such a tigress beneath that serene exterior?”

  She felt a little shiver of shock run through her when she realized he was right. She had always been tranquil even in her moments of greatest happiness. Yet she had been acting with a primitive passion that was almost explosive since Donahue had walked into her dressing room. She had never before known fear, rage, or desire in such violent proportions. It made her a little uneasy to realize a stranger could arouse those emotions within her—particularly a stranger as lawless and ruthlessly determined as Donahue.

  “What’s wrong?” His eyes were narrowed on her face. “Is it something I said? Have I hurt you?”

  “No.” She avoided his gaze. “What could you possibly have said that would have had an effect on me? Your opinions don’t mean a thing to me, Donahue.”

  His fingers tightened on her elbow. “You have the tongue of a wasp,” he said curtly. “Do you suppose you could keep your stinger out of me until we have that talk? I’m not feeling any too stable myself at the moment.”

  They had arrived back at the villa and found Galbraith and the other two young men waiting apprehensively at the courtyard door. Galbraith was staring at her with an almost comical look of mournful reproach. “That wasn’t very nice, Miss Landon,” he said as he opened the door and stepped aside for her to precede him. “You were supposed to be a weak, languishing female, not Sheena of the Jungle, climbing vines and leaping seven-foot walls at a single bound. Now I’m in big trouble.”

  “You’re damn right you are,” Clancy said. “You weren’t only stupid, you were careless. I’m tempted to send you back to Sedikhan. A rookie operative would have shown more savvy.” He jerked his thumb at the two guards. “Replace them, and see if you can find anyone on the island with eyes in their heads.” He was propelling Lisa across the courtyard toward the French doors that led to the bedroom. “And until you can find someone, I expect you to roost outside these doors yourself. Understand?”

  Galbraith nodded. “I won’t be able to replace them until tomorrow. I hope to hell we don’t get one of those charming tropical showers tonight.”

  “Maybe it would wash some sense into that head of yours. Looking like a schoolboy is a professional advantage, acting like one is professional suicide.” He ignored Galbraith’s grimace as he closed the French doors behind them.

  He released Lisa’s arm and turned away. “Galbraith won’t make that mistake again. You won’t even be allowed into the courtyard without permission.” He strode toward the door across the room. “This is the only other exit, and I’ll be on the other side. I assure you that I’ll be a hell of a lot more careful than Galbraith.” He looked over his shoulder, and for an instant there was the hint of a smile lighting the grimness of his expression. “I know you better.”

  “You don’t know me at all.”

  “You’re wrong. I don’t know you as well as I’m going to, but I do know you.” He opened the door. “I’m going to get you something to eat. You’ll probably feel better if you wash some of that sand off. However, if you don’t feel up to it, I’ll be glad to help. It’s a valet service I’m always willing to provide when I kidnap a lady.” The door closed behind him with a soft, decisive click.

  LISA STARED BLANKLY at the closed door. The abrupt change from brisk, threatening incisiveness to half-humorous sensuality had once more caught her off guard. How many sides were there to the man’s personality, anyway? She drew a deep breath and turned toward the bathroom. Even if she hadn’t felt abominably gritty, she would have obeyed Donahue’s last suggestion. He was too unknown a quantity for her to be certain that he’d been joking, and she definitely didn’t want to be exposed to any more intimacies. She was still too bewildered and wary about her reaction to Donahue just now on the beach to take a chance of repeating the scene.

  Forty minutes later she had finished showering, shampooing and drying her hair. Another ten minutes and she was dressed in baggy white linen slacks and a loose thigh-length cotton sweater in a warm melon shade. She coiled her hair in a careless knot on top of her head and nodded with satisfaction at her reflection in the mirror. No one could say there was anything in the least provocative about her appearance, and that was just what she intended. She thrust her feet into white canvas sandals and was ready for the fray. For a moment she stood there, trying to gather her composure. She had to come to an understanding with Donahue, and she hoped that understanding would bring them to terms on her release. If she could maintain the same aggressiveness and cool control she had noticed in him, perhaps he would see that she wouldn’t permit him to keep her here. The only problem was that aggressiveness wasn’t exactly her area of expertise. If it had been, she wouldn’t be having this painful dilemma with Martin. She had always been too soft, and Martin had known exactly how to manipulate that weakness to his own advantage.

  But Donahue didn’t know about that regrettable softness, and if she put up a bold-enough front, perhaps he wouldn’t discover it.

  Well, she couldn’t sit meekly in her own room and wait for Donahue to come to her. That would automatically place him in a position of psychological power. She strode swiftly to the door through which he’d disappeared and tried it. It was unlocked. She threw it open and went in search of Donahue.

  The living area of the villa was as quietly luxurious as the bedroom, with thick carpets in a shade of antique gold and contemporary furniture in hues of brown, ranging from deepest chocolate to creamy beige. Everything was sleek, beautifully decorated, extremely expensive, and somehow … impersonal. Yes, that was the word. It had the impersonal air of a hotel room.

  The kitchen where she found Donahue was equally efficient and impersonal. Stainless-steel and cool blues predominated, but they were no more icy than the glance Donahue threw her as he whirled to face her when she walked through the louvered door. For an instant his face was wary, his stance as ready for action as a cocked pistol. Then he recognized her and obviously forced himself to relax. What kind of experiences and how many years living on the edge of danger had bred that wariness? she wondered with a fleeting sympathy. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I just thought we should get that discussion out of the way.”

  “I didn’t expect you.” He pointed to the breakfast bar across the room. “Sit down. I’ve made you a chef’s salad and a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. Do you want coffee or milk?”

  “Coffee.” She hesitated a moment, then walked over to the navy-blue cushioned stool he’d indicated. So much for her aggressive, businesslike behavior. Donahue was treating her with the casual intimacy of an invited guest, making it impossible for her to respond with the belligerence she would have chosen to display. “This isn’t necessary. If you’d just let me go back to the hotel, you wouldn’t have to bother with KP duty.”

  “It’s no bother.” He crossed the room and set the wooden salad bowl in front of her. “All we have on hand is a bottle of Italian dressing. Will that be all right?”

  “Yes, but …”

  He wasn’t listening. He was at the refrigerator taking out a bottle of dressing and a container of cream. He set the two items before her. “I usually make coffee a little strong. I hope that’s all right.”

  “Fine.” With barely contained impatience, she watched him pour two cups from the pot on the counter. “I’m not really hungry. I want to talk—”

  “Eat. We’ll talk later.” He smiled faintly. “You’ll need your strength.”
>
  Lisa cast him a rebellious glance and reached for the coffee. She almost choked as she took a sip. “A little strong! Good Lord, what did you use to brew it? Tar?”

  He frowned and tasted his own coffee, then immediately made a face. “Sorry. I’ve had to have it this strong to keep me awake for the last twenty-four hours. I must have automatically made it the same strength this time.”

  “You haven’t slept for over twenty-four hours?” she asked, startled.

  “Closer to forty-eight, not counting the catnap I took on the plane from L.A.” He took her cup to the sink and poured it down the drain, then did the same with the coffee in the coffeemaker on the countertop. “I’ll make a fresh pot.”

  “Why?”

  He glanced over his shoulder. “What?”

  “Why did you stay awake? You couldn’t have been afraid I’d escape. I was practically a zombie.”

  “I made you a promise,” he said simply. “You seemed worried about …” He paused. “About being alone when John brought you to the villa. I promised I wouldn’t leave you.”

  She felt a sudden flutter of warmth, which she was quick to suppress. “That sounds remarkably sentimental for a man in your profession.” She looked down at the plate in front of her. “Are you sure you weren’t just afraid I’d kick the bucket and leave you to face a murder charge?”

  He frowned. “I’m sure. I don’t lie, Lisa. If I make a statement, then you can be damn sure it’s the truth as I see it. I don’t deny I was worried about you, even though the doctor at the lab assured me you’d safely sleep off the effects of the overdose. You could have been more obliging and reacted as they predicted. First you woke up earlier than they said you would. Then you zonked out again and proceeded to sleep like Rip Van Winkle. I’ve never been so scared in my life as when you decided to oversleep the lab boys’ estimate, but it was for you I was frightened, not myself.” He reset the strength level on the coffeemaker and turned to face her. “Alex told me the other night that he thought I’d finally run across something I couldn’t handle. I denied it. I wouldn’t deny it today.”