ASH: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  * * *

  I didn’t get up.

  She was in one of Uly’s hoodies.

  That made my mind and heart race.

  And I blamed fucking Vera for that.

  There was no way she and Uly… not a chance. Uly was in love with Mara. I was in love with Belle.

  Vera was just a psycho.

  Belle folded her arms. “What are you doing here?”

  “Brought you something,” I said.

  I stood up and missed my second step toward Belle.

  She laughed. “Drunk. That’s why you’re here.”

  “Nah,” I said. “Here.”

  I handed her the sketches.

  “What are these for?”

  “Just what I felt like doing. To go along with something you wrote.”

  Belle shook her head. “You’re trying to kiss my ass now. After what you said and did?”

  “If I wanted to kiss your ass, I’d be on the other side of you, angel.”

  Belle slapped my face.

  It echoed into the night.

  The door opened again and Uly came walking out. Then Mara, like a scared cat, looking around.

  “Ash?” Uly asked. “What the fuck…”

  “He’s drunk,” Belle said.

  “What?” Uly asked. “How did you get here?”

  “Hil,” I said.

  “Where is he?” he asked.

  “He took off,” I said.

  “Great,” Mara said. “So you’re here now too?”

  “How about I cuddle up with you tonight?” I asked Mara.

  Uly put his arm around Mara. “Ash, what do you want? Just leave everything alone until tomorrow.”

  “It is tomorrow,” I said. “Tomorrow is today.”

  “He was just leaving,” Belle said.

  “Yeah, I’ll just walk home,” I said.

  “Fuck,” Uly said. “I’ll drive you home.”

  “Thanks, man,” I said.

  Belle eyed me up and down. She shook her head.

  She looked at the sketches again.

  I put my hand out to take them back.

  Belle shook her head and put her hand behind her back.

  She walked away and Mara was quick to hug her.

  Fucking Mara… go read a fucking fancy math book.

  Belle looked back at the last second as Mara led her into the house.

  She waved the sketches.

  “These are good,” she said.

  I smiled.

  Even when she hated me, Belle was still fucking perfect.

  Chapter 11

  I opened the door to Mookey’s truck and put my hand around his throat. I pushed at his neck and his face turned bright red.

  “Ash, we need him to talk,” Hil reminded me.

  Now he was the real deal. If Mookey wanted to knock me the fuck out right then, he could have. He was sitting, I was holding myself up on the running boards of his truck. But Mookey knew better than to do that.

  He just stared at me, eyes wide, waiting for me to stop choking him.

  When I let him go, he coughed and rubbed his chest.

  “Fucking hell, Ash,” he said.

  “Just wanted to say hey.”

  “Hey,” Mookey said.

  I jumped down to the ground and Uly pulled himself up.

  “What’s up with BC?”

  “I’ve got nothing,” Mookey said. “I’ve been asking. Checking around. Even had a few guys check in with the football assholes down there.”

  “What about Barr?” Uly asked.

  “No clue,” Mookey said. “He’s not with BC. He got his girl out of there. What’s her name… Melanie. Right? That’s the one. He and Mac had issues over her and shit. I don’t know. I don’t know why it would have anything to do with you.”

  Uly jumped down.

  “Slide your fat ass out of the truck,” Hil said. “I’m looking up at you to talk.”

  Mookey got out of his truck, still touching his throat.

  “Look, you guys can do whatever you want,” Mookey said. “We all know nothing. I mean it. It’s just like with the car thing. We didn’t know shit about Kip taking Werthwood’s car.”

  “Keep your eyes open,” I said. “Wide fucking open. Nobody around here needs Mac or BC close by. And if you see Mac or you hear anything you stop what you’re doing.”

  “Even if you’re in the middle of getting some loving,” Uly said.

  Hil slapped Uly’s shoulder. “Look at this guy. He’s not getting any. He’s self-loving.”

  “Fine,” Uly said. “Even if you’re self-loving…”

  “Hey,” Mookey said. “I’m… I’m good.”

  “Good?” I asked.

  “You don’t want to know, Ash,” he said in a cocky tone.

  I clipped Mookey with a quick right and made his head snap back.

  He let out an oohhh sound and grabbed for his jaw.

  “Let’s hear it, Mookey,” Uly said. “Come on.”

  “Does she take air and or batteries?” Hil asked.

  “No,” Mookey said. “But she used to take baseball players. Until she met me.”

  “What the fuck…” Uly said.

  “No way,” Hil said.

  “Think about it,” Mookey said.

  “You’re messing around with Jasmine too?” I asked.

  “Not too,” Mookey said. “Just me. She’s fucking done with those douchebags. That pussy Aaron. All he did was whine and cry. And then Ryan. Fuck that guy. He doesn’t know what to do with a girl like Jasmine.”

  “And you do?” I asked.

  Mookey pointed to me. “Some dude came sniffing around looking for her. I think it was because of the shit she was in before.”

  “What?” Hil asked. He stepped forward and put a hand to Mookey’s chest and shoved him back.

  Mookey laughed. “Don’t worry, Hil. I rearranged the guy’s jaw. Since then? Nobody has come anywhere near Jasmine. Except me. And I’m telling you right now, if Aaron or Ryan even so much as text her, I’m going to rearrange their faces too. And you won’t stop me.”

  Hil patted Mookey’s chest. “Okay. Fair enough. You can beat the shit out of the baseball team. We won’t get in the way.”

  “Wow does that girl get around,” Uly said.

  “I know,” Hil said. “Kind of makes her hot, right?”

  “Hil,” I said.

  “Right. Sorry.” Hil showed his hands. “My bad.”

  “I love her,” Mookey said.

  “Oh, shit,” Uly said.

  “You don’t love her, Mookey,” I said. “You love what she makes you feel.”

  “Same thing,” he said.

  “Hey, I’m not in your way,” I said. “Just keep an eye on that messy shit. Okay?”

  “I’m all over it,” Mookey said. “As far as Mac and BC…”

  “Get in your truck and go,” Uly said.

  Mookey did as he was told.

  I turned and looked at Uly and Hil.

  “That’s your plan?” I asked. “To have Mookey figure this out?”

  “It’s the best we’ve got right now,” Hil said. “Nobody has seen Mac. Only us.”

  “And I’m second guessing myself,” Uly said. “Was I that drunk?”

  “I was sober,” I said. “I know what I saw.”

  “We all saw it,” Hil said.

  I was about to ask ‘What do we do next?’ when I spotted Belle.

  She was walking next to Danica.

  She looked at me and whispered something to her.

  They hugged and broke apart.

  “What are you…”

  Hil’s voice trailed off as he looked where I was looking.

  “Oh, this should be good,” Hil said.

  “Don’t follow me,” I said to both Uly and Hil.

  I walked across the parking lot and Belle could have made a quick right to get to her car.

  Which was the same move she’d done this last week.

  A fucking week of t
his.

  A week of her showing herself and then hiding.

  A week of her sending me poems she wrote, then I would sketch something and send that to her. Only through texts though. No actual conversation.

  A week of hitting the tattoo shop to sketch and work, which meant a week of hearing Hae asking about Belle.

  A week of avoiding the mansion because of my father and his bullshit rage and lies.

  A week of holding it all together, knowing the man who killed my mother was somewhere out there, walking around knowing he dodged a bullet.

  And the second Belle didn’t make that move to get away, I forgot all about the entire week.

  She walked up to me and reached into her pocket and took out a piece of paper.

  She slammed it again my chest.

  “Need you to sketch these.”

  “No problem, angel,” I said.

  She just stood there.

  Her jaw clenched tight.

  Then released.

  “I want to hate you for good so bad,” she said. “But I keep telling myself you’re in pain. And I thought maybe you’d tell me that. And find a way to deal with it better. But you’re Ash. You’re an asshole. This is what you’re going to do.”

  “Basically,” I said.

  “And you’re not even sorry. You won’t even say it to steal a kiss from me.”

  “No, angel. I won’t. That would be lying. I don’t want to lie to you.”

  “And then you say that kind of thing,” she said. She grabbed my shirt and moved to her toes. “One kiss. Two seconds.”

  I put my lips to hers and kissed her for three seconds.

  Just to remind her of who I was.

  She wiped her lips as her cheeks turned red.

  “Why not just text me this?” I asked her.

  “Because I need to talk to you,” she said. “You’re the only one I can trust with certain things.”

  “I’m always here,” I said.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “So what’s going on, angel?”

  Belle took a deep breath. “I’m trying to think how to say this.”

  “I have all the time in the world to stare at you,” I said.

  “Ash… just listen for a second.”

  I nodded.

  “My mother… she’s engaged to her new boyfriend already.”

  * * *

  I got Belle to agree to let me buy her something to eat.

  But she had to drive herself.

  She refused to get into my truck with me.

  Which was her way of showing power and force.

  In a fucked-up way, I felt like we were becoming Hil and Vera.

  Just a little crazy.

  She ordered some giant salad with grilled chicken slices on it.

  I ordered a turkey club.

  We sat in the corner on the deck of the little restaurant next to the ocean.

  The breeze kept messing with her hair, but I kept my hands to myself.

  Each time she fought with her hair, she looked at me, knowing she was doing one of my favorite jobs.

  “Are you going to tell me what happened or what?” I asked.

  “I know you’re going through a lot…”

  “Doesn’t matter. You trust me. Remember?”

  “Yeah,” she said. “For some reason I do trust you, Ash. And this is just crazy. I’ve seen her do crazy before… but this is…” Belle laughed. “She’s gotten engaged before. But it’s usually just a drunken thing. Just words. Or instead of an actual engagement ring she ends up with some cheap, skull ring off some biker.”

  “True love,” I said.

  “Ash…”

  “Sorry, angel.”

  “I remember it so many times too. She’d get excited and then it would fall apart in a week. Just the usual. Another crazy moment in my life. And hers. Nothing was ever just… normal.”

  “I don’t think anyone is normal.”

  Belle looked at me like she wanted to compare normalcy to money.

  Which I understood.

  Being able to do whatever I wanted when I wanted had its advantages. But we were far from normal. My mother died. Hil’s father was a loser. My father and his mother just magically decided to be together. There were a lot of questions unanswered, but I left that alone because everyone seemed happy.

  Happiness helped to kill time. And killing time was all I needed at the moment.

  Although sitting across from Belle, I wanted time to slow a little.

  “Tell me more about it,” I said.

  “Pete. That’s his name. That’s the guy’s name.”

  “And you don’t like the name Pete?” I asked.

  “Not funny, Ash. It has nothing to do with his name. It’s the whole thing. Okay? The whole thing. She just…”

  Belle grabbed her phone and showed me a picture.

  “Wow,” I said.

  “You see that, right?”

  “Of course I see it,” I said. “It’s a nice diamond.”

  “That’s my point, Ash.”

  I lifted my eyes. “The point?”

  “It’s a real ring.”

  “Right.”

  “Does that mean it’s the real thing?” Belle asked.

  Fear filled her eyes.

  I looked at the picture again.

  I nodded.

  “I get it, angel,” I said. “This isn’t some biker thing.”

  “It’s the real thing to her. And I have no idea who this guy is. What he’s capable of. I mean, it’s not like my mother has anything to lose or get stolen.”

  “I hate to say it, but what if they just love each other?” I asked. “What if they just met, realized all of the bullshit in their life was meant to be put behind them and that was that?”

  “Is that how you feel?” Belle asked me.

  “I know everything I said, angel.”

  “I know you’re not going to take it back. Whatever, Ash. Your father lied to you. He lied to you to help you. But a lie is still a lie.”

  “It’s just a lot going through my head,” I said.

  “And you think sitting around, getting drunk, is going to help?”

  “It got you your sketches done,” I said. “That’s what you wanted, right? That’s what I was told.”

  “Well, anything I talk about with Miss Whitaker is supposed to be private,” Belle said. “I’m not happy she did that. If I wanted that from you, I would have asked.”

  “Everything you’re writing is good, angel.”

  “And everything you’re sketching is good… devil…”

  Belle smirked.

  I grinned.

  She slowly moved her hand across the table and touched my hand.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “He wasn’t there when it all happened,” I said. “The accident. And there was a lot in life happening around that moment too. It wasn’t just an accident. It wasn’t just a murder either. It was the way life had built itself up to that. And when it all happened…”

  I stood up and walked away from the table.

  Not going to do this bullshit, angel. Not going to sit here and cut pieces of my heart out to make you feel better about your mother’s fucked up life.

  I repeated the words in my head as I walked down to the beach.

  My eyes scanned left to right, trying to find someone I could handle business with. Someone who would look at me the wrong way or give even the slightest of a head nod. So I could take their fucking head and slam it into the sand.

  “Ash.”

  Belle touched my hand.

  “You already know everything.”

  “But you can keep saying it,” she said. “As many times as you need.”

  “I showed you the spot,” I said. “I told you what she did. To make sure I survived. There are parts of it I can’t remember. I think I was in shock. But she just knew… and then I looked to my father to fix it. And I thought he had.”

  “He did the best he co
uld.”

  “Which isn’t good enough.”

  “Ash…”

  I looked down at Belle. “If someone ever hurt you, angel, I would end that person. Nothing would stop me. Ever.”

  “Who’s to say your father doesn’t feel the same?” she asked. “I’m sure he’s doing whatever he has to do…”

  “The guy is out,” I said. “He’s out. It’s over. You can’t just put him back in jail. Unless he does something wrong. Something else wrong. So it just takes away everything he did. It makes it feel…”

  Belle hugged me from the side.

  I slipped my arms around her.

  “Are we just as fucked up as they are?” Belle asked.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “Okay,” Belle said.

  She broke away from me and backed away.

  I looked at her.

  “I have to go,” she said.

  “Go?” I asked.

  “I’m still pissed at you, Ash. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you though. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to not talk to you. I’m just pissed at you.”

  “And you’re walking away, angel.”

  “Watch me…”

  Belle turned and walked away.

  It probably should have made me angry, but it didn’t.

  I stared at her and caught myself smiling.

  She was bold. And she could take me down so easily.

  She knew it too.

  I obviously knew it.

  When Belle was out of sight, I went back to climbing around in my own head.

  I had to figure some stuff out.

  Stuff that was going to change our lives.

  Chapter 12

  I stood near the back door of Ink-a-Tat and took a deep breath. If there was one thing that could distract me from all that was going on in life, it was the tattoo shop.

  “Look at you,” Hae said as she walked out of her room. “You look flustered. Out of breath. You look like you just had-”

  “I’m good,” I said to her.

  “Are you?” she asked. “Your aura is vibrating. Ash… I’m kind of liking this vibe coming off of you. I’m feeling it. I’m…” Hae looked around. “Is Belle here?”

  “No,” I said.

  Hae bit her bottom lip. “Would she mind if we…”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Okay,” Hae said. “I’ll just harness that energy for my own use later.” She walked away and looked over her shoulder. “But the offer will always be there.”