Robby the R-Word

by Leif Wright

  On the third word, Robby’s vision blurred. On “shit”, the monster-bunny banged extra hard and Robby saw stars. By “UP”, his vision had blacked out, but he could still hear and feel the beating. By the end, Robby had awakened, his body covered in sweat, trembling all over. He tried to cry out, but back in his own body, the cry refused to come out.

  26

  “FRANK,” BAIN’S VOICE SAID FROM THE DOORWAY. JUST HER VOICE WAS enough to give him a bit of a chubby.

  “Yes?”

  “Got anything more on the guy who hired Chris Jackson?”

  “Not yet,” he replied with his standard sigh and eye roll. Just as he was about to explain that this wasn’t a TV show where everything got solved in a half hour, she interrupted him.

  “I need to find out who we need to go to if we want a subpoena for the identity of one of their users,” she said. “Jackson said the guy’s email was random1289@anonymousmail.com. We need that information, and since it’s a murder investigation, I don’t care if we have to invoke Homeland Security to get it.”

  “Rawr,” he said, making kitty claws with his hand—and knowing immediately it was a mistake.

  “Shut the fuck up, misogynist,” she said. “Just find out whose ass we need to crawl up to get the subpoena.”

  “Yes ma’am,” he said. “Unless that provider is physically located in this state, we’ll probably need to go federal.”

  “Whatever,” she said. “This is now our top priority.”

  “On it.”

  “Call my cell if you get it.”

  After a suddenly intense day, Bain was ready to relax.

  “Confession,” Russell said as he passed her in the hall. “Good job!”

  “Thanks.” Her brain needed to think of anything else. She dialed her phone.

  “Hello?”

  “I don’t need you anymore,” she said, then realizing how that must sound. “For the case, I mean.”

  There was a long pause.

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously.”

  Another long pause.

  “Come over!”

  “I was hoping you’d say that. I’m on my way.”

  Bain smiled as she got into her car. A distraction for a minute might help pull her brain back from the details of the case and look at the big picture again. Like a reset button.

  Jessica seemed like she might be a good reset. Bain knew she probably wouldn’t be long-term material. She wasn’t sure she even wanted a girl as a long-term. She hadn’t given up completely on men; she just couldn’t seem to find one to fit into the narrow mold she needed. She needed a strong man who could handle a strong woman, a guy who could take a joke—and deliver one. A guy who didn’t care who made more money, who could deal with spending extended time apart. Most guys, despite the stereotype, were clingy.

  They were whiny little children who needed constant affirmation about how adequate they were, how big their dicks were, how they were better in bed than the last guy—or any other guys, for that matter. Even the ones who were good in bed needed to be told constantly that they were as good as they thought they were. Even when she found herself having the rare orgasm, Bain had found herself having to embellish, to make the real orgasm sound as convincing as it felt.

  It was just too much goddamn effort.

  At least with a woman, she knew what was coming. She knew no matter what she said, it would be interpreted based not on the content of what she was saying, but entirely upon tone and attitude with which she said it. There was something comforting about that kind of predictability. It was a safe feeling to know that she would be catching shit as much about what she hadn’t said about a woman’s ass looking good as it would be if she had said something negative.

  She sighed. And smiled.

  She hoped Jessica was wearing something more than she had been last time. Not that she hadn’t enjoyed the view. But she liked a little foreplay.

  “Can’t just go dive in for the clit, son,” she had told one over-enthusiastic boyfriend who had seemed like he was trying to find the prize in the bottom of a bowl of soup. “She likes to be romanced. Have a little tact, tease. Spend some time getting to know the lips. Have a little conversation. Wine. Dine. Maybe a little dancing, a little night life.” He had ended up cracking up and the two had had a wonderful night.

  She smiled again as she turned onto Jessica’s street. She hadn’t thought about that guy in a while. He had been a fun little piece of candy, no attachment, no uncomfortable breakups. It had been sweet.

  Jessica didn’t seem sweet like that little guy had been. She seemed like a woman who had missed experimenting in college and was trying now to make up for lost time. Not that she wasn’t cute or sweet or whatever, but Jessica wasn’t the kind of girl Bain read about in novels, the kind of girl who engendered a love so deep that the very word “love” seemed to cheapen the emotion.

  No, Jessica was the kind of girl that shallow boys got all worked up over. She was the prom queen, the head cheerleader, the girlfriend of the guy with the Camaro. She was the straight-A student who went on to work at a factory, fighting time as it tugged at the corners of her face and the tips of her breasts, the undersides of her ass. She was the cougar who wore bikinis a couple of years too long, went on boat rides with friends ten years younger, fucked a few guys too young and stupid to be near her. Ultimately, she was still a fine piece of ass, a score even for those decade-younger friends, and the ravages of time still hadn’t worked their black arts on her face or body yet.

  Bain smiled again. Here she was, waxing poetic, but when her brain heard the word “Jessica”, all she could remember was the perfect body in a wife beater and boy shorts—the body that could be rocking a Victoria’s Secret catalog. Not a wrinkle or a crater anywhere to be seen—and if it had been there to be seen, Bain would have seen it, because she was nothing if not adept at examining nearly naked women’s bodies.

  She pulled into Jessica’s driveway. Holy shit, she was wet.

  Her earlier wish that Jessica might be wearing more than she was last time was right out the window. Hell, if Jessica answered the door naked, Bain wouldn’t complain.

  God. She wished she would.

  Her legs were trembling a bit. She hadn’t realized how horny she was until just this moment, as she was trying to get out of her car, noticing that her leg felt weak. And as she approached the front door, she was definitely feeling a little squishy.

  Her heart was pounding as she reached for the doorbell. Sudden terror struck her. What if she had missed the window? What if Jessica had decided to move on? Worse, what if Bain had totally over-read the signs? What if she showed up like a high school boy at homecoming and Jessica was just wanting to have a glass of shiraz? Good thing she hadn’t gone home first to change and gussy up.

  Jessica opened the door before she could ring the bell.

  Bain’s knees almost gave out.

  Jessica was wearing a translucent pink house robe, open to reveal that she wasn’t wearing anything else. Bain’s eyes drank in every detail, from the delicate neck, the seismic cleavage, the body-shot belly button, the easy, comfortable folds of her pussy, the teacup curve of her inner thighs, failing to conceal the gentle globes of her ass peeking through her thigh gap.

  “Hi,” Jessica said gently, dripping with lust.

  “Dear Christ,” was all Bain could say as her mind bum-rushed itself in an attempt to decide whether to tackle her, spread her legs like a Thanksgiving turkey and eat her for dinner, or to pour wine down her and lick from the bottom to the top to clean it up.

  Jessica saved her the trouble.

  “Come frisk me, Detective Bain,” she said, pulling the robe open to reveal her left nipple. “I think my entire body needs probing.”

  Bain was sure she would later come up with something clever to say, some great line that made her seem as confident and ballsy as she normally did, but at that moment, she felt like a cartoon, tongue rolling out onto the ground, eyes s
hooting out of their sockets, foot stomping on the ground as something akin to an “Aaaoooogah!” sound escaped her mouth of its own volition. She was only vaguely sure she hadn’t actually made such a sound.

  Jessica laughed. “I never thought I’d see the great Detective Bain speechless,” she said. “Hurry, come inside! You’re the cop, but I’m pretty sure I’m breaking the law out here with my tits and pussy flashing the entire neighborhood.”

  “Goddamn great tits,” Bain managed. “Can’t even talk about the pussy yet.”

  Jessica grabbed her wrist and dragged her inside.

  27

  BAIN HADN’T KNOWN WHAT TO EXPECT, BUT CLEARLY THE BAR SHOULD have been higher. She had pegged Jessica as a timid, experimenting-with-her-sexuality kind of girl, but she probably should have thought more along the lines of old pro porn star. As the morning light peeked in through the seams in Jessica’s foil-covered window, gently caressing Jessica’s breast as it rose and fell with the rhythm of her life, Bain reflected on the whirlwind and athletic night she had just spent.

  During her own foray into girl-on-girl, Bain had come to expect herself to be the aggressor, the dude of the relationship. Last night, however, Jessica had flipped the script—along with everything else. Bain lay naked in Jessica’s bed, with her left breast touching Jessica’s right breast, Jessica’s leg draped over Bain’s, her clean-shaven pussy, probably still throbbing from last night, rubbing up against Bain’s hip with every breath. One or both of them had kicked off the covers and sheets last night, so as far as the position would allow, Bain had a completely unobstructed view of their bodies entwined together. Her own body was completely unencumbered by fat, other than the places where fat should be. Her breasts, Jessica had said, were surprisingly larger than she had expected.

  “Gotta tuck ’em in the vest,” Bain had replied off-handedly. Jessica hadn’t even noticed, diving in immediately, as soon as Bain’s sports bra had hit the ground, licking and sucking on her nipples, which had driven wave after wave of lightning through her body. That had been just the beginning. Bain, head thrown back, enjoying the oral caressing of her breasts, hadn’t even noticed Jessica’s hand sneak its way down her flat stomach, effortlessly crawling its way into her panties, over her peach fuzz, over her mons, fingers knowingly spreading her lips, rubbing her clitoris, and rubbing the wetness from between her lips all over her. It was Bain’s own moans that had alerted her to the fact that Third Base had even been rounded.

  By then, somehow, she had found herself sitting on the bed, legs spread, leaning back on her elbows, mentally willing Jessica to rip the panties off her. With her teeth, if necessary. Jessica had responded to the first part of the psychic command and, suddenly exposed to the world, Bain had felt liberated, wild. Jessica had started kissing at the inside of Bain’s right knee and had worked her way down until she was between Bain’s legs. Somehow, Bain had moved up on the bed, her head up on the wall, her hands grabbing both sides of the headboard, her legs open as wide as she could get them, her hips jamming her pussy into Jessica’s mouth as far as possible. Jessica had obliged, moving her tongue expertly from the clit to the opening, and all around, bringing Bain to her first orgasm of the night within minutes of getting her completely naked.

  Orgasm after orgasm, Jessica had worn down the Bain cop act, the toughness, the walls of protection, turning her into a quivering, moaning, squirting, coming pile of pussy and tits, willing to do whatever Jessica wanted as long as the fucking kept coming. To be sure, she thought now in the morning, she had given a pretty good accounting of herself when her turn had come, if Jessica’s reactions were anything to judge by, but by far the surprise of the night had been Jessica’s expertise in making a woman melt in her mouth. Bain had even felt herself re-evaluating her earlier analysis of Jessica’s future with her. That kind of sex she could get used to. Hell, she might even start being nicer to the guys at the office.

  Now, looking over Jessica’s naked body—and her own—she was struck by the beauty of the scene. Two beautiful women completely naked, exhausted, and intertwined with each other. She wasn’t even a guy, but she knew this was a boner-inducing scene if she had ever seen one. She was completely exhausted from last night, but she even found herself starting to get wet again as she absorbed the scene in the increasing light.

  She must have ground her hips a little, however.

  “Oh my god, don’t you ever stop?” Jessica moaned. “My poor pussy can’t take any more. Your hot ass wore me out!”

  Bain laughed, to which Jessica opened her eyes and smiled. “No worries,” Bain said. “I won’t be walking right for a week, I promise you. No second round today.”

  “Awww,” Jessica said, sitting up, her breasts bouncing perfectly—and alluringly—as she did. “I didn’t say no more today. Just not right now. I have to rest and get some fluids in me. You’re a machine!”

  Bain smiled and sat up too, noticing as Jessica’s eyes watched her breasts bounce, too. “Fluids,” she said, her voice cracking. “That sounds amazing. But how am I supposed to rest with your tits staring at me like that? Jesus.”

  “They’re just tits, Detective,” Jessica said, smiling. “It’s not like you can’t stare at your own amazing rack anytime you want.”

  “Not as fun as staring at yours.”

  “Ditto,” Jessica said, kissing her, then getting up. “I gotta pee.”

  “Holy shit,” Bain said involuntarily as she watched Jessica’s ass dance across the room. “It’s like two puppies fighting under a blanket!”

  “Shut up, pervert!” She shot a smile back. When she returned from the bathroom, she was thankfully still naked as she climbed back into bed with Bain, snuggling up to her, causing a shiver to go through Bain’s body again.

  “So what are we doing today, officer? I’m off, but I don’t know what you have planned. I have to get my kids at four, but I’m free until then.”

  “Well,” Bain said. “I had a lot of shit planned, but somehow I’m having a hard time remembering what was so important. Staying right here, naked with you, seems like a pretty damn good idea to me.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do—at least until four.”

  “Fluids,” Bain croaked. “We’ll need lots of fluids if we’re going to do anything even half as strenuous as we did last night.”

  “Electrolytes,” Jessica said. “We’ll steal the sports drinks I bought for my boys. That should hydrate us.”

  She popped up out of bed like a jack in the box and started for the bedroom door. Bain uttered an involuntary “mmmm.”

  “Right back atcha, Miss Detective,” Jessica said, looking over her shoulder at Bain on the bed. “I’m looking forward to exploring you during the daytime.”

  A few seconds later, she returned with a bottle of green liquid and a bottle of yellow liquid.

  “Sweat flavored or lemon-lime sweat flavored?” she offered, holding the bottles up as she spoke. “Lady’s choice.”

  “God,” Bain said, smiling. “Such good choices. Hell, I’ll take sweat-flavored. Let’s go for broke.”

  Jessica, apparently incapable of any motion that wasn’t alluring, handed the yellow bottle to Bain, just as Bain’s cellphone rang.

  And rang.

  “Gonna get that?”

  “No.”

  “What if it’s important?”

  Bain sighed. “Fuck.” She fished the phone out of her pants pocket on the floor. “Russell” was on the screen. “This better be goddamn good,” she barked as she answered the phone. “I’m not even playing with you.”

  “I’ve got a warrant ordering the email people to cough up the guy’s information,” Russell said. “That’s the good news. The bad news is the company is located in Florida, and we have to serve this warrant in person if we expect to get any information before Jesus comes back.”

  “Florida?” Jessica’s face wrinkled as Bain said it into the phone. “I don’t have to drive, do I?”

  “Hell no,” he said. �
�We get to fly. But we have to leave this afternoon. So get your dick out of whoever it’s in and let’s head to the airport.”

  “Fuck you,” Bain said angrily. “Tell me when the flight is and I’ll be there, but unless the damn thing is on the tarmac right now, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Flight is at three,” he said. “But we have to be there early.”

  “Fuck early,” she said. “You be there early and I’ll be there in time for the flight. I have shit to do right now.”

  “Shit?” Jessica said, smiling.

  “Who’s that?” Russell asked, his voice changing from business to ribbing.

  “I’m not telling you shit,” Bain said. “But she is why I’m busy. So stall for me or whatever, because I’m planning to take my time.”

  “Oooh,” Jessica said, just as Russell said the same thing.

  “Fuck you both,” Bain said and hung the phone up.

  “Fuck me,” Jessica said. “Maybe both later.”

  “It’s a deal,” Bain said and guzzled half the yellow sports drink. “The first part, anyway. I have to be at the airport at three. It’s … nine-thirty right now, so if we hurry, we can get to half of the things I want to do to you.”

  “What’s in Florida?”

  “I don’t want to talk about work. I don’t want to talk at all. I want to make last night seem like amateur hour.”

  Jessica smiled and climbed into bed.

  28

  AUTOPILOT, WALKING THROUGH A HAZE, WHATEVER YOU WANTED TO call it, it all meant the same thing: it was how everyone went through life day by day. Wake up, drag ass to the shower, wash, try to wake up as the water pours over your body, brush your teeth, groom, maybe grab breakfast, get in the car, catch the bus, or a subway train, go to work, do your soulless, mind-numbing job for eight hours, shag ass home, kick off the shoes and park on the couch, surfing through a thousand channels before dozing off for another fitful night of sleep.

  Rinse and repeat.