Dance All Night: A DANCE OFF HOLIDAY NOVELLA

by Alexis Daria

  Inside, the lobby contained an explosion of decorations. A tree stood in front of each window, trimmed with a combo of handmade and store-bought ornaments. Icicle lights hung from the ceiling, and the desk was draped with tinsel. They’d been busy since her last visit.

  Nik would have liked it.

  The thought gave her a pang. She brushed it aside and went up to the older woman sitting behind the front desk. “Hey, Mrs. Fernandez,” she said with a wave.

  Mrs. Fernandez looked up from the novel she was reading, blinking at Jess over the tops of her glasses. “Oh, good morning, Jess! Merry Christmas.”

  “Merry Christmas,” Jess replied. “I heard you all were on a skeleton staff this week, so I thought I’d come by to help.”

  Mrs. Fernandez’s expression softened. “That’s very kind of you. I’m sure the girls will be happy to see you. They’re in the dining hall having breakfast. Naomi’s in there, too.”

  “Really?” She hadn’t thought Naomi would be in today, since her family lived just a few hours’ drive south in San Diego. “Thanks, Mrs. F.”

  She heard the sounds of celebration from the hallway. Laughing, talking, footsteps squeaking on linoleum, and, of course, Christmas carols.

  Jess entered the room as the speakers sang out, “In the meadow we can build a snowman,” and her thoughts turned to Nik once again.

  Was it snowing in New York? Had their own snowchild melted up on Big Bear?

  “Well, well, well, fancy seeing you here.” Naomi appeared at her side and gave Jess a hip bump. “Got bored with all that relaxing?”

  Jess shot her a look, but it must have been more mopey than menacing, because Naomi’s face converted into a mask of concern.

  “Oh, babe.” She put an arm around Jess’s shoulders and didn’t even comment on the t-shirt. “What’s going on? Is it Nik?”

  Jess nodded, then shook her head. “Yeah. I’m all mixed up. I don’t think I can talk about it right now.” Or think about it.

  Naomi gave her a squeeze. “You know I’m here for you, whenever you’re ready.”

  As a counselor, Naomi was probably the best person to talk with, but Jess was always careful not to overstep the bonds of friendship in that way. She never wanted Naomi to feel like she was using her.

  But she was so confused, maybe it would be good to talk it out. Friend to friend.

  Later, though. Today, it was Christmas. And here, unlike in her apartment, that meant something.

  For the rest of the day, Jess buried herself in work in an effort not to think about Nik. But it didn’t help. For one thing, being with the girls at Starlight House didn’t feel like work. She genuinely enjoyed spending time with them, teaching them dance moves, organizing arts and crafts activities, and managing cleanup. An anonymous benefactor had made a massive last-minute donation of beautifully wrapped gifts, and she derived great joy from passing them out and watching the girls marvel over their presents. Most of these kids were victims of trauma, and it warmed Jess’s heart to see them happy.

  Still, in the back of her mind, a little voice pointed out that it would’ve been even better if Nik were there. He’d be kind to these girls, showing them the model of a man who was good and upstanding. And any man willing to eat a phallus-shaped cookie just to make her laugh would go all out bringing holiday cheer to Starlight.

  And, if she were being one hundred percent honest with herself, she just plain missed him. She missed his voice. His touch. The way he asked her questions like he genuinely wondered about what made her tick, then listened carefully to the answers, filing them away and surprising her when he referenced them later. He was a man who cared, and who took care with everyone and everything he encountered.

  Despite her worries that he was just messing around with her, he’d been nothing but reliable and respectful.

  Even now, he was respecting her wishes not to be contacted.

  She sighed, and wished that in this one instance, he’d go against her decree and reach out.

  More than that, she wished he were here. But he wasn’t. And that was her own doing.

  At Alex’s house, Nik did his best to be his usual, upbeat self, but it wasn’t working. His mother had stopped asking about Jess, Natasha and Marina eyed him with open concern, and Alex and Dimitri hadn’t teased him once. His dad had even patted his back and given him the Russian equivalent of, “Good job, son.”

  When he’d asked, “What was that for?” his dad just nodded and left the room.

  Even his other cousins tiptoed around him with none of their usual good-natured teasing. Mitya had probably texted them all something like, Nik’s going through his first heartbreak, so don’t be assholes to him, okay?

  After breakfast, Nik sat in the family room, watching his cousin Fedya’s children tear into their new toys. They were sweet kids, and they reminded him of the way he’d played with his brother and cousins when they were that age.

  Little Inessa struggled to open a Barbie box while her brothers ignored her, so Nik waved her over. “Idi syuda, Nessa. I’ll help you.”

  Lower lip quivering, the little girl tottered over and climbed into his lap before handing him the box. In a soothing voice, he described each step as he opened it and detached the Barbie from her cardboard backing.

  “See?” he said in English. “And then we just untwist this last tie here, and…ta-da!”

  “Barbie!” Inessa trilled. She took the doll, leaving him covered in more packaging than could possibly be necessary for an eleven-inch computer programmer doll, and went back to sit on the floor by the tree.

  “Well done.” Dimitri clapped from the doorway, then plopped onto the sofa next to Nik. “So, how’s Jess?”

  “I don’t know.” Nik tried to shift away, but his brother didn’t let up.

  “You ready to talk about it?”

  Letting out an exasperated breath, Nik crossed his arms over his chest. “She wanted to spend Christmas alone.” Even to his own ears, he sounded petulant. “She told me from the beginning she likes to be alone. I should’ve listened.”

  Mitya waved that away. “People always say stuff they don’t really mean when it comes to love.”

  “I don’t think she’s lying about it.”

  “She might not be. Maybe she does like being alone. The real question is why she likes to be alone. And if you can figure out the why, and solve the real problem, maybe she’ll be okay with letting you in. Besides, it’s only been a few weeks. People need time to discover what’s in their hearts. Look how long it took me and Tasha.”

  Nik considered Mitya’s words. It was true that Mitya and Tash had danced around each other—literally and figuratively—for a few years before finally becoming an item, and now it was like Natasha had always been part of the family. For Nik, he’d been thinking about Jess all year, and had known since this summer that he’d wanted to give a relationship with her a shot once his tour ended. But for Jess, it had only been a couple weeks, and he’d been rushing her along since day one. Of course she’d balked at flying across the country to visit his parents.

  Jess wasn’t forthcoming with information about her past, but she’d dropped enough hints that if he fit all the puzzle pieces together, they created a full picture. She liked to be alone because she was afraid of getting hurt. Why? Because she’d been hurt before. How many times had she said it, plain as day? “People are always playing games.” She thought he was going to toy with her heart then drop her, like the other guys she’d dated had. Or worse, that he’d up and leave, like her dad.

  He had to let her know, in no uncertain terms, that she meant something to him. That he cared about her. Loved her. And he was willing to give it a shot for the long haul, however far she wanted it to go.

  But how? He’d agreed to no contact, and he didn’t want to step on her boundaries.

  The need to reach out to her, just to let her know he was thinking about her, that she wasn’t truly alone on this day, or at least, she was only as alone as she w
anted to be, drove him off the sofa and into the hallway.

  “Hey, where’re you going?” Mitya called, but Nik ignored him. His mind raced through all the possible things he could text her, from cute to heartfelt to funny. In the end, he settled on the one obvious choice.

  Leaning against the wall in the darkened hallway, he typed out, “Merry Christmas, milochka.”

  For him, it was the equivalent of “I love you.” She’d either get that or she wouldn’t. But soon enough, he’d be back in LA.

  They still had a plan for New Year’s Eve. He had to make it count.

  After lunch, Jess helped set out trays of cookies in the rec room for the girls to munch on while they played with their new gifts or watched the Christmas movie playing on the big TV. She’d helped raise the money to renovate this room the previous year, and every time she was there, she admired the changes. Before, it had looked like the common room at a college dorm—thin carpeting, ugly furniture that was sturdy but uncomfortable, an old TV that wasn’t even a flatscreen, and a DVD player that was always on the fritz. Now, it looked inviting and homey, with new electronics, comfy furniture, and a magenta and teal color scheme with ornate faux-gold accents. The girls loved it.

  Since there was nothing else to be done at the moment, Jess selected a chocolate chip cookie and took a bite. In her pocket, her phone buzzed. Probably another “Merry Christmas” text from someone she hadn’t heard from since last Christmas.

  She pulled out the phone and checked the text message on the screen. Yes, it was a holiday greeting, but this one made her breath catch.

  Merry Christmas, milochka.

  Heart pounding, she set the cookie on a napkin and opened the search app on her phone. She’d heard Nik call her this before, but she hadn’t known how to spell it.

  She typed in “milochka means” and hit Go.

  When the answer appeared, she got a warm feeling all over.

  Dearie.

  It was sweet, and kind of old fashioned, which fit the two of them so perfectly. Nik with his gallant manners, and her with her love of classic jazz and old movies.

  Maybe it wasn’t over yet. If he was still thinking about her, that meant she still had a chance to fix things. After all, it wasn’t over until the final curtain call—in this case, Dimitri’s New Year’s Eve party.

  “Miss Jessica?”

  Jess shut off her phone and looked up. It was Tamara, one of the younger girls in the house.

  “What’s up, Tam-Tam?” she asked, using the girl’s nickname.

  Tamara gestured at a group of three girls fiddling with the sound system. “Can you help us choreograph a dance?”

  “Of course I can!”

  As Jess helped them put together a sequence of dance moves to a Christmas pop song, a few more girls joined them. And sometime between choreographing the steps and running through the routine all together, Jess was hit with an epiphany.

  While the girls took a cookie break, Jess pulled out her phone and shot back a text to Nik.

  It was time to take a chance.

  Chapter Eleven

  December 28th

  Three days later, Jess stood outside Starlight House again, battling a rollicking case of anxiety. Nik’s SUV pulled into the lot, and she bit her lip while she waited for him to join her.

  God, she’d missed him. That smooth swagger, those warm brown eyes, his hair just a little wild and ten kinds of sexy.

  Inside, all she could think was, You came back. And it filled her with warm, gooey feelings she couldn’t yet name.

  When he approached, she launched into business mode to keep from throwing herself at him.

  “This is Starlight House,” she said by way of greeting, holding open the front door so he could enter. “It has been serving adolescent girls who are labeled as at-risk or victims of trauma since its founding in 1985. In 2016, it was updated to meet California’s new model for group homes, the Short Term Residential Therapeutic Programs model.”

  He looked around, taking in the decorations that were still up. When he met her eyes again, Jess pressed a hand to her chest. “I asked you to meet me here because this is the most special place on earth to me. When I talk about settling down, it’s not just out of complacency or comfort. It’s about growing roots. This place is part of that.”

  His eyes softened as he listened, his focus intent on her. It was how he always looked at her when she talked. He listened, deeply. So, even though it was hard to reveal so much of herself like this, she kept going.

  “Growing up in Chicago, I relied on community centers and free programs to further my interest and education in dance. When I heard about this place, I knew it was my chance to give back. Because for me, settling down is also about getting involved in the community.”

  His silence was starting to unnerve her. Hell, she hadn’t even given him the chance to say hello. But her mouth kept going as her nerves hit the “ramble” button. “I wanted you to see this place, because it’s as much a part of me as The Dance Off, and you only know that side of me. And, well, because…I guess I want you to know all sides of me.”

  Ugh, what a dumb ending. Why hadn’t she rehearsed what she wanted to say?

  Just then, Mrs. Fernandez entered the lobby. When she saw them, her face lit up. “Oh, Mr. Kovalenko. Thank you so much for the gifts you sent. They really made the girls’ Christmas that much more special.”

  Jess froze. The gifts? Nik had sent them?

  Nik inclined his head, full of gallantry. “It was my pleasure.”

  “Is Jess giving you the tour?” Mrs. F asked.

  Smiling at Jess, Nik nodded. “She is.”

  It was all Jess could do to keep a straight face. Her mind reeled at the revelation.

  “Great.” Mrs. F took her seat behind the desk. “She’s been volunteering here for a few years, and she’s initiated some excellent fundraising efforts, as well as therapeutic dance classes for the girls.”

  “She’s a gem,” he murmured.

  Clutching his elbow, Jess beamed a smile at the older woman, then propelled Nik into the hallway so they could have some privacy.

  Once they were alone, she released his arm and stared up at him. “You knew?”

  “Of course. You post about this place on Instagram all the time. Since I didn’t think you’d want me buying you a Christmas present, I sent gifts here instead. It seemed like that would mean more to you anyway, and besides, Christmas is about community and giving back.”

  Inside, her heart shattered, then reformed. When she spoke, her voice was tight with emotion. “I don’t know how to thank you. I was here when they opened the presents. I wish you could have seen the joy on their faces, the fun they were having.”

  His lips twisted, and there was something wistful in his eyes. “There’s always next year,” he said softly.

  All traces of doubt she’d ever held about him vanished. This man was kind, conscientious, and most of all, understood her need to stick around and give back. He was serious, and he wasn’t playing games with her.

  She could trust him.

  He took her hand, holding it gently. “Jeshka, I…I’m sorry I rushed you.”

  She opened her mouth to contradict, to thank him for rushing because moving fast was the only way to bypass her defenses before she could create new ones, and really, yes, she did want this, when someone else spoke.

  “There you are.”

  Their heads snapped up to where Naomi strode down the hall toward them with a big smile on her face.

  Jess handled the introduction. “Nik, this is Naomi. She’s one of the counselors here.”

  Nik shook her hand. “I remember seeing you at Rhianne’s party. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself properly then.”

  Naomi chuckled. “No worries. Your mind was busy. Thanks again for the gifts you sent.”

  “It was my pleasure.”

  Then she turned to Jess. “Before you get started, I have some news.”

  Jess frowned,
hoping nothing had gone wrong with the day’s plans. “What kind of news?”

  “Don’t worry, it’s good news. We want you to join the Starlight House board.”

  Jess’s pulse thumped, sure she’d misheard. “The what?”

  “The board!” Naomi pulled Jess into a hug. “You’ve done so much over the last year, between fundraising efforts and donating your time to teach and hang out with the girls. So, you’re officially being invited to join the board of directors to help ensure Starlight keeps moving in a good direction.”

  Wow. Board of directors. Part of her felt like she was too young for such a responsibility, but Starlight House and the girls it served meant the world to her, and the thought of stepping into a more official role and being able to help even more gave her a feeling of…rightness. Yes, this was the kind of thing she’d been looking to do more of.

  “I’m…I’m speechless.” Jess hugged Naomi back. “And honored. Thank you.”

  “That’s wonderful news, Jeshka,” Nik said quietly at her side, and Jess turned to see him beaming a proud smile at her. She was so happy, both from Naomi’s news and just from having Nik here with her, she wanted to throw herself into his arms and squeeze him tight. But if she did, Naomi would tease her mercilessly.

  Oh, what the hell.

  Jess wrapped her arms around Nik’s midsection and hugged him hard. When he enveloped her in his warm, solid embrace and his spicy-sweet scent, she was sure she’d never felt anything so perfect.

  When she released him, Naomi didn’t laugh, but she did gesture down the hallway.

  “By the way, everything is set up. We’re ready when you are.”

  When Nik shot Jess a curious look, she slapped a hand to her forehead. “Shit. I forgot to mention one other thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I told everyone you were stopping by to teach a dance class. The girls are very excited, so you can’t say no.”

  “Teaching with you?”

  Of course he’d focus on that part. “Yeah.”