Irresistibly Mine

by Stephanie Rowe

  Chloe nodded silently, well aware of the situation that had brought Robbie and Mattie into Emma's life.

  "But I'm doing okay. I'm actually doing a lot more than okay. I love him, more than I ever thought I could love anybody. He's a part of my heart and soul so deeply, that I know we were connected long before we ever met. I can tell that he feels my love, and he becomes more secure every day. The beauty of his relationship with Harlan would make you cry, and we have a real family. Yes, it's a family filled with a whole bunch of shadows from the past, but the shadows make it stronger, more committed, and more loving. If I can do it, me, who doesn't know the first thing about the world that these two kids came from, you sure as heck can bring a bunch of foster kids in this house, and create a home, a present, and a future for them. You can give them love, and, equally as important, hope."

  Something pulsed inside Chloe, something strong and powerful that she'd never felt before. Her lungs tightened, and suddenly she had difficulty breathing. She thought of what a place like this would've meant to her as a kid. A safe place, a place filled with love, a place that would be hers for as long as she wanted to stay. Stunned, she sat back in the chair, staring at her friend. "How would I do that by myself? How could I support all those kids? How could I possibly do that?" But even as she asked the question, her mind seemed to come alive, flying through all the options before her.

  Emma grinned. "First of all, you start with one child. One kid at a time. When you're ready, you can add another one. The schools in this town are great, and every single one of those kids wouldn't simply be in your care. They would immediately have Grandma Eppie, Grandma Judith, Uncle Harlan, and three crazy aunts in me, Clare, and Astrid. Plus, a whole bunch of cousins that would claim them immediately. It wouldn't just be you. You would bring all of us together, in the same way that Robbie and Mattie have become integrated into this community."

  Chloe got up, too restless to sit still as she walked across the store. She set her hands on the display and looked around. Could she really do that? Could she really take ownership in that kind of a life and commitment? "I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can live up to Louise's expectations of the store, and the kids…" She looked over at Emma. "What if I fail them?"

  Emma smiled. "What? You mean fail them more than the life they already have? Is that what you mean?"

  Chloe bit her lip, thinking back to the days when she lived and breathed by that denim backpack. How desperately she had yearned for a home, a forever home, but also simply a safe place, where she could take a deep breath, and know that she was safe, secure, and accepted for who she was. "I don't know what a home is," she whispered, almost to herself. "How could I possibly give a home to those kids? I wouldn't even know where to begin."

  But as she spoke, her gaze flicked to the corner of the display. There was a small white card tucked in the corner of the glass, a card that hadn't been there yesterday. It appeared to be a business card. On the back of it, was a quick sketch of the Eiffel Tower. Her heart skipped a beat, and she grabbed the card. She flipped it over, and saw it was a business card with the name of Blue's employer on it. It was just a name, with a phone number. Not his phone number, just the name of his company. No way to reach him specifically. There was no note. Just the Eiffel Tower on the back of it.

  Tears burned in her eyes, and she pressed it to her heart, staring across the room as she tried to hold her emotions together. But as her gaze landed on the opposite wall, she saw a small white card tucked in next to a blue, fuzzy sweater that someone had hung there. She hurried across the room. It was another business card of Blue's, and he had drawn an Eiffel Tower on that one as well.

  Chloe spun around and scanned the shop again. This time, she saw little white cards tucked in crevices all around the shop. One was in a basket of yarn. Another was sticking out of the pocket of the sweater. Tears filled her eyes, but she couldn't stop the smile from spreading across her face.

  "What's that?" Emma asked.

  "Love notes from Blue." Chloe walked across the room, and peeked at a card wedged in the glass of a painting of an autumn forest scene. Another Eiffel Tower, with no words. He was everywhere, in every corner of the shop that meant so much to her.

  "They're everywhere." Emma looked around, her gaze as sharp as Chloe's was. "That's so sweet."

  Chloe knew then what he'd been trying to say with the cards. He'd been trying to tell her that the shop, the store, this house, was supposed to be hers. She knew it. He'd already told her in person, but this had been his last attempt to get her to look around and feel the love. He'd woven his love into the fabric of the building, into the layers of yarn, into the walls, and into the spirit of the home that had once belonged to Louise Parker and her family.

  Sadness suddenly overwhelmed her. Sadness that that amazing man could have so much love to give, and yet he crushed it under guilt that he would never let himself rise above. She looked over at Emma, her gaze landing on the contract still sitting on the table.

  God, how she wanted to sign that contract. She wanted to use this house and create a home for the community, and a home for one child at a time, and a home… Yes, a home for herself. But could she do it alone? Could she do it without Blue? Or was he such a part of it, such a part of her heart, that to be here without him would always feel empty?

  She looked at Emma, and her friend raised her eyebrows. Silently, Emma held up the contract. "What do you think?"

  Chloe knew what she had to do. She was afraid, so afraid, afraid of failing, afraid of not being enough, afraid of not being worthy of claiming the life she wanted. She looked at Emma. "Em?"

  Emma held up a pen. "Do it. Stop running away, Chloe. Just do it."

  Chloe stared at that pen, her heart pounding. Her hands were shaking, and fear clogged her throat. She was absolutely terrified, but at the same time, she'd never wanted anything so much in her life. Which was stronger? Her fear, or her desire? She thought of the little girl she'd once been, and of the little girls who were out there, huddled in their beds, their Eiffel Tower keychains clutched in their hands, and suddenly she knew that she could make a difference. She could make a difference to them, to Eppie and her friends, and to herself. And to Blue? Could she make a difference to Blue, too? Because he needed a home as well.

  She took a deep breath, tightened her fingers around his business card, and then walked across the room. She hesitated for just a split second, then she took the pen out of Emma's hand, and she signed the papers.

  Chapter 25

  Blue scowled as he checked on the status of his flight again. Still delayed, with the departure moved back another two hours. His head aching, he leaned back, resting against the wall of the airport. He'd been traveling for almost twenty-four hours, and he was still two flights away from his destination. It had been a long ass trip, with one delay after another, including two missed connections. He was tired. He was pissed. And he missed Chloe so much that his chest hurt.

  Grimacing, Blue pulled out his phone and checked it again, just in case she'd replied to the text that she'd sent herself from his phone. But there was nothing. She'd let him go, just as he'd wanted.

  His fingers hovered over the keys, however, tempted to tell her that he missed her. Tempted to tell her that he loved her. Tempted to ask her if she'd found the business cards he'd stashed around her house. Those business cards had been the reason why he'd missed his first flight. It had taken him almost a half hour to spread them around the first floor, hiding them everywhere he could think of where she might stumble upon them. In her fridge. In the freezer. In the downstairs bathroom. In her shop. The whole time he'd been down there, he'd kept expecting her to come down the stairs and catch him. He'd even made a little bit of extra noise, just to see if she'd find him.

  But she hadn't. He didn't know if she'd gone back to sleep, or simply hadn't been concerned about the sound of the house creaking. All he knew was that by the time he'd used up his last business card, and had no more
excuses to be in her house, he'd felt both strangely empty, and also almost giddy at the idea of her reaction when she started to find the cards around her house. Had she found any before she'd left for her interview? Or just after she'd gotten home? Or maybe she hadn't found any yet.

  His fingers roamed restlessly over the screen of his phone. Idly, he scrolled through Renée's text, checking to see if she had any updates on the flight situation. As he scrolled, he saw the video she had sent him earlier, that he'd never watched. His thumb hesitated over it, as it had so many times today.

  A part of him didn't want to watch it. Seeing a father whose son had been brought home made him uncomfortable. It made him think of the day when Brian had returned, and he'd seen his father cry. He didn't want to relive that for anything. But at the same time, with his heart aching for the woman he'd left behind, he knew he needed some added motivation to keep doing what he was doing. He needed to be reminded of the reason that he'd given everything up for this job.

  Gritting his teeth, he tapped the video, hardening himself as he waited for it to load. It took a minute with the crappy connection in the airport, with each spin of that hourglass making him increasingly tense. But he waited, determined to face whatever was on the video.

  It finally loaded, and a man with dark hair, graying temples, and a few lines around his eyes began to talk. He looked right at the camera, and Blue felt like he was staring right at him. "Blue. My son told me your name. He told me about the man with the scar on his cheek who broke open that door and came for him. He told me how it felt the minute he saw you, and he realized that someone had come for him. That moment you gave my son a gift. You gave him hope. You didn't just save his life, and bring him back to me. You taught him that no matter how bad the world gets, there's always a reason to hope, there's always someone to lean on, even if you don't know it. Because of you, my son can sleep at night. Each time he lies in bed, he looks at me, and he tells me that you're out there, that you're keeping people safe. He tells me that no matter how bad the world gets, there are people like you out there, and that makes him feel safe. Blue, thank you not only for bringing my son home, but for saving him. We will never forget you, and I hope that you live a life full of blessings and love forever."

  The video ended, and Blue bowed his head, fighting back the sudden surge of emotion. He was overwhelmed by the message, by the image of that ten-year-old boy going to sleep at peace because he was thinking of hope, of safety, of strangers who would save him. He'd expected a message about the father, about what the man had endured at the loss of his son. He hadn't been prepared for a video about the boy, and about hope, love, and safety.

  He took a deep breath, pressing his thumb and forefinger to his eyes, trying to pull himself together. But all he could think about was his own brother. He spent all his time feeling guilty about having betrayed his family. He spent all his time trying to make up for the crap he'd put them through. He'd never once considered offering himself love or blessings like this man had just done.

  Blue leaned back in his chair, his hands in his hair, as he tried to stop the onslaught of thoughts flying through his mind. The envy was so thick in his throat, the anguish of seeing that man's love for his son. Shit.

  Scowling, he stood up. He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, and started walking through the airport. He needed to get away. He needed to walk. He needed to exercise. He needed to get away from the sudden anguish coursing through him, that his own father would never look at him the way that man had looked at him.

  His phone dinged suddenly, and he instinctively glanced down. His heart seemed to freeze in his chest when he saw Chloe's name appear on his phone. He stared at it, his heart pounding as he read the words. I bought the house. I'm going to open it to foster kids.

  Foster kids.

  How perfect.

  Blue immediately texted back. That's awesome. You'll be an amazing foster mom. They'll be so lucky to have you. He sat down on a nearby chair, dropping his bag at his feet.

  I found sixteen business cards so far. I love you, too.

  His throat tightened. They weren't love notes. I was just trying to vandalize your home.

  Did anyone ever tell you that you have intimacy issues?

  He grinned. Of course not. I've never let anyone get close enough to notice.

  Are you in South America yet?

  He glanced around. Dallas. I've been having flight issues.

  Dallas? No way. Seriously?

  Yeah. Why? Are you here, too?

  No, but your brother is.

  Blue went still, his entire body freezing. What are you talking about?

  His phone rang suddenly, and he stared at it. Chloe was calling him. About his brother. He closed his eyes, every instinct screaming at him not to answer it, not to listen to what she had to say. But he couldn't. He had to hear her voice. If it had been anyone but her... His heart hammering, he answered it. "You're stalking me?"

  "Of course. Why else would I be calling you?"

  God, her voice sounded beautiful. His fingers tightened around the phone, and suddenly the most intense yearning echoed through him. He instinctively looked up at the nearest monitor, searching for the next flight back to Maine. It was in an hour. He could be back in her arms by midday. "God, I miss you."

  "Of course you do. We're amazing together. But that's not why I called."

  He settled back in the chair, the smile playing on his face as he listened to her. He couldn't believe how good it was to talk to her. He didn't even care what she said. Just to have her on the phone with him, to know that she was focused on him in that moment, and no one else, was enough. "So why'd you call?"

  "Because I bought the house."

  He grinned. "I know. I forgot to tell you, but I'm capable of reading. I understood your text, and was even able to reply. How about that? A man of many talents."

  She laughed softly. "For your information, I'm well aware that you're a man of many talents. However, the reason I'm calling is because of the process by which I realized I had to buy the house. You want to hear it?"

  He leaned back in his chair and stretched his legs out, the most amazing sense of peace stealing over him. "Damn right, I want to hear it. Tell me." Hell, he'd listen to her read the dictionary as long as it kept her on the phone with him.

  "Emma had to talk me into it. She had to show me that I could make a difference with those foster kids in a way I hadn't thought of before. This is a way that's even more beautiful, and more meaningful, and more unique to me. It feels right, so much better than heading off to northern Maine and fighting red tape and bureaucracy. Instead, I'll be able to offer actual love to each of those kids. A home, for as long as they need it."

  Blue heard the genuine happiness in her voice, and warmth settled in his chest. "I'm so glad you found your calling. You deserve it. You deserve a home, and you deserve love. Those kids will be super lucky to have you."

  He felt her smile, even though he couldn't see her. "Thank you," she said. "You're the one who taught me how to love, but it took Emma to get me to see a different way. So now I'm paying it forward, and I'm going to be your Emma. I was dying on the path my life was going, and you are too."

  His smile faded, but his grip tightened on his phone. "I'm not dying."

  "You are. You can't see it, but I can, because I love you. But also because I was in the same place you're in. I couldn't let go of my path, until I could see another way. You're going to keep going on those missions until you get yourself killed and, quite honestly, that really makes me unhappy. But at the same time, I know you can't walk away from what matters to you. But maybe, you can see it in a different light."

  An old man and his son walked past Blue, and he looked up, watching as the younger man tucked his hand through the crook of the older man's arm, supporting him as they walked. His throat tightened, and he pulled his gaze away. "What light should I be seeing it in?"

  "You need to see your life from the perspec
tive of strength, not guilt. That could only happen if you go back and face your family, whatever it brings."

  Blue tensed. "I haven't seen them since I left when I was eighteen."

  "I know. You told me." She took a deep breath. "Your brother lives just outside of Dallas. It's about an hour or so away from you. I have his phone number, but I also have his address. Since you're there, you should go see him."

  Resistance flooded Blue. "No way. There's no way in hell I'm going to see him."

  "Blue." Her voice was gentle, so gentle and full of love that his resistance faded. "In the same way that Emma wouldn't let me walk away from what was inside me, I'm going to do the same for you. You have to face him. You have to face your parents. Or you're going to get yourself killed. Do you want me to have to face this life without you? Is that what you want?"

  Blue bowed his head. "We don't have a future. We both know that."

  "We can have one if we want it. Let's be honest, Blue. There's no one in this world that would put up with you putting a gun in her face, and still see the beauty of your soul, so you're damn lucky to have me, and you shouldn't overlook that fact."

  He grinned. "I have you?"

  "Of course you do. But it goes both ways. And there's no one else in this world that makes me feel safe, or gives me the courage to open my heart, besides you. I need you. And you need me. But until you go back and you face your family, you won't be able to let me into your heart, and that, my dear Blue, would be the biggest tragedy of your life."

  Blue bowed his head. "I can't do this, Chloe."

  "You can. I'm going to text you his address and phone number right now. Go see him. Seriously. For me. I know you can't tell me that you love me, but you can show me by doing this. Will you do it for me? Please?"