by C. S. Moore
“That’s terrible.” Amanda gasped. “They did that to twelve-year-old boys? Just to keep Shiphra on her toes! Tortured them until they…”
Cole had been subjected to that, probably during the years she’d deserted the Hovel. I was running around the country feeling sorry for myself while he was being tortured? She felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. Amanda had always felt terribly guilty for those two years of self-pity, but that guilt was nothing compared to what she felt at this moment. She’d abandoned him when he needed her most, the little boy who’d been the first to show her kindness at the Hovel.
Amanda thought back to the day after the Dredging. The new Healers had been ushered into the dining hall. Every child, including her, had taken a seat. The food had stayed untouched, no one wanting to eat so full of fear and uncertainty. Only one child had remained standing, a dark-haired boy. He’d been looking around the room, searching for something, and then his eyes had met hers. She’d never known what he’d seen in her eyes, but he’d made a beeline for the table. The tight curls on his head had bounced up and down as he moved. His hair had been even curlier when he was young.
Cole had made a bit of a mess as he served himself a bowl of soup and walked over to her with it held aloft. He’d placed it in front of her slowly and sat down across from her. All the children had followed suit, and soon they’d all been eating, except Cole. He’d made her smile and made sure she ate. She’d always wondered why, out of all of the children there, he’d chosen to set that bowl of soup in front of her. Amanda was looking at Cole when Madgie confirmed her realization.
“Yes, that’s what Cole went through. Lucky his light is so bright they couldn’t extinguish it. They had to release him from the Guard, but not before they silenced him as you can see,” Madgie said.
“How do you know I’m choosing not to speak of my own accord? Maybe I didn’t want her to have to think about me… going through that.”
“Sorry, but you cannot protect her from this any longer. Where was I? Oh, yes, so they had what they wanted, but Healers around the world were starting to become concerned about it. Too many Healers were no longer doing their job. Scars need to be healed, or, as you know, the world becomes unbalanced and falls into darkness. It happened before. The bubonic plague wiped out so many Healers. There just weren’t enough of us left to keep the balance. Historians now refer to that time as the Dark Ages.”
Amanda was taken by surprise. She’d heard it preached at the Hovel, but she never realized how essential Healers were to the world.
“So as the Guard got bigger, the world became darker. As they hunted Shiphra, World War One started and ended, and then World War Two. Thousands upon thousands of men and women and children were being slaughtered. Awful things we’d never seen before were happening in the world. The wars left more Scars behind than we could heal, and it seemed the world was destined to end. The Healers rose up and told the Ancients in one voice that their Guard needed to be downsized and returned to their duties of healing. The Ancients came up with the idea of the Dredging to increase our numbers.”
“It hasn’t always been that way?” Amanda gasped.
“No, no. Before that time we found Healers and told them what they were and where to find us if they chose to be around those like them. They came in their own time, sometimes in youth, sometimes old age, but they always came. When that didn’t even restore balance, the Ancients obliged most likely because they were satisfied that Shiphra wouldn’t rise up. At the time, most thought it was kindness on their part, so selfless and understanding of them to give up their army. How foolish of us.” Madgie looked disgusted.
Seeing her look that way filled Amanda with rage at the Ancients for taking advantage of the innocent. How easy it must have been to gain power over the Healers, they’re so naturally kind, peaceful, and naive.
“It isn’t your fault, Madgie! You aren’t foolish for believing in those you’re supposed to be able to trust. I think the reason they shrunk their Guard wasn’t because they were done with Shiphra. They downsized it because you came together. All the Healers came together and said no to them. No more. Well, I’ve only been alive for seventeen years, and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how you’ve lasted this long under their reign. Maybe we should be finding Shiphra for more than one reason. I think she’ll agree when I tell her it’s time to end it,” she finished defiantly.
AMANDA STARED WIDE-EYED AT a twisted dead tree on the hilltop with a small figure at its side. The tree’s white fingers were a stark contrast to the dark sky. She glanced around and saw her pursuers closing in. Wiping away the wet hair clinging to her face, she ran as fast as her feet would carry her across the soggy terrain. Lightning cracked above, and she studied the angry clouds. She’d never seen it so black at mid-day. Digging her toes into the muddy hill, she began climbing.
“Help!” the girl cried out.
The small voice was like an arrow to her heart. She slowly made her way to the top of the hill. Amanda knew if she could just reach Kaedin she’d be at peace again. She heard a noise beneath her and saw that the hill was surrounded by cloaked figures. All of her enemies’ faces were hidden beneath heavy hoods, save one. He towered above the Guard members, and his light shone brightly in the gloom.
“Baal,” she whispered.
He smiled up at her with pointed teeth.
Amanda was temporarily blinded as lightning struck near her. Her vision came back as she flew through the air out of breath. The large tree was split in half, and fire climbed its white bark. Carter stood hunched in the space Kaedin had occupied, acid burned flesh running down his body like candle wax. He moved toward her with jagged uneven steps.
“Murderer!” he bellowed, glaring at her with blood-shot red eyes.
“No, no. I didn’t mean to,” Amanda cried out, closing her eyes. “Don’t hide behind those eyelids. You look at what you did to me!” he demanded.
When she finally peeled open her eyes, he’d closed the twenty- yard distance between them and was bent over her shaking body, skinless fingers outstretched.
Amanda awoke breathing heavily. She was glad to find herself snugly sandwiched between Cole and her wolf’s warm bodies. I did that to him, I’m a murderer. It wasn’t easy to shrug off the fear and defeat her dream had brought, but she felt safe next to Cole and her wolf. She’d slept like a log, which was fitting because they’d had to sleep on the forest floor. Amanda felt more than rested rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she felt strong.
She stretched her arms into the air and arched her back.
Slits of sun light sliced through the foliage and drew a pattern of stripes across her skin. She studied them and wondered why they seemed so strange, this wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Light and shadows drew patterns over everything coloring the world one way then changing it completely with the drifting of a cloud. Her mind was on the verge of understanding why there was something off when Cole spoke to her.
“What is going on with you? Do you know, or is it as big a mystery to you as it is to me?”
She jumped at his voice; she’d thought he was asleep. “What do you mean?” she asked as he rolled to face her.
“I saw Carter’s spell hit you Amanda. I saw it break your skin. I heard you cry out in pain and now all I see is a hole in your shirt…” He put his hand on her shirt, his fingers lightly kissing the charred fabric. “Burnt around the edges.” He paused, clearing his throat and moving away.
She wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw something other than worry burning behind his eyes.
“You ran into that cloud of acid and came out of it miraculously fine, other than minor burns. Which, by the way, are completely healed.”
She looked down at her palm and understood why it had looked strange to her earlier. The burns were gone. Her hand almost seemed normal, even the poison in her veins faded. She threw off Cole’s cloak and drew her shirt up, exposing her midsection. Her skin now looked paler than normal but not m
onstrous. Cole had frozen at the sight of her bare skin. Apparently, she looked far from grotesque to him.
“Can you believe this?” she exclaimed in happy surprise.
Beneath her, the large rib cage of her wolf heaved in and out in a calm breathing pattern, and she knew how she’d been healed. She understood why she felt so strong but wasn’t sure she could explain it to Cole. She truly didn’t understand the reason this wolf was with her or what he was.
“No, I can’t,” he said reaching over, pulling her shirt back down and shaking his head back into the conversation.
“Cole, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I wish I understood so I could tell you. All of this must seem extremely strange, but you don’t need to worry. I’m still me, beneath all of the demonic poison and mystical healing.” Amanda cringed and hoped her words came across better than they sounded.
“Demonic poison and mystical healing?” Cole said in a thoughtful voice. “Yes you’re definitely yourself. No one but you could make an attempt at reassurance sound like an argument against yourself.”
Her cheeks heated, and she tried to hide her face, but he lifted her chin up. She felt a little relieved when she saw his perfect lips curved into a huge smile. His shoulders were shaking as he tried not to laugh.
“Go ahead and make fun of me!” she said, throwing her arms in the air.
Cole didn’t hesitate at all. His deep chuckle lifted her heart so much that she joined in. They laughed together. The strong carefree kind that hurts the sides, the one that only those you are comfortable with ever get to hear.
Then Madgie woke in a fit. Amanda had never seen her in such a state, half-asleep and hair like a lion’s mane. She started shouting at them for being “young and able to sleep on the forest floor.” This only fueled their amusement.
The laughter in the air faded away and was replaced with a familiar silence. She wasn’t at all surprised when the Scar took form in front of her, but she was surprised to see both Cole and Madgie still with her. They looked at each other full of confusion. When a Scar took a Healer it wasn’t a group thing. She’d never heard of a Scar taking more than one person before. From the look on Cole and Madgie’s faces, neither had they.
They were on the high, pebble-strewn banks of a clear river, watching two young lovers on the opposite side. The pair didn’t notice the three of them standing there, too caught up in each other. Amanda knew immediately it was the teenage boy who was trapped here in this Scar. The girl was a mere memory, not a spirit. Fear rippled across Amanda’s bosom, and she fell to her knees, momentarily overcome with the emotion. Cole pulled her back on her feet, and she tried to push out the feeling of trepidation.
It was a terrible thing to watch these Scars unfolding. Sometimes she had scenes like this, love, laughter, but it was merely the calm before the storm. If they were here, in this memory, something was eventually going to happen, a tragedy terrible enough to Scar a spirit and the world.
It was a beautiful day in the memory. The sunlight seemed almost golden as it reflected off the surface of the smooth water and highlighted the cotton blowing about on the breeze. It was springtime. Cottonwoods shed their seeds in the spring. She made note of every detail. Suddenly the young man was on his feet. He was dressed in a humble suit that reflected the style of the 1940s.
“Come on, Mae! It’ll be fun. The boys and me do it all the time,” he said to his sweetheart with a smile dancing around his lips.
“I can’t, John! For goodness sake, I’m in my Sunday dress! My mama would tan my hide,” Mae replied.
“What if I told ya I’d give you all of the dead presidents in my wallet?” he asked.
“I’d say I don’t want any more Lincolns jingling around in my purse.” She giggled.
“Oh, I have more than pennies, you little tease. Now are you up for fun or not?” John asked as he offered her his hand.
“Okay, but it’s your own fault if my ma won’t allow me to see ya for a month,” Mae said, caressing his arm.
They walked hand in hand downstream, laughing with each other and giving shy kisses, until they reached a tree. It was a great deal larger than the rest of the ones lining the river, making it seem out of place. Its wide branches stretched out over the water and dangling from one of the thickest ones was a rope.
John picked up a long stick propped against the tree and leaned over the bank, swiping at the rope. After a few swings, the improvised hook snagged it and he pulled it to him. His girlfriend looked nervous as he held it out to her.
“You go first. Show me how to do it,” she said hesitantly.
He straightened his shoulders. “Okay. First, make sure you have a good grip on the rope. Like this, see,” John said, showing her the position of his hands. “Then just walk back a couple steps and do this.” He ran off the edge of the bank, swinging into the air. When he reached the highest point that the rope came to, he threw himself back, doing a flip before hitting the water. He resurfaced in a few seconds, whipping his hair back, making drops of water rain down all around him.
“Just like that, huh?” Mae asked sarcastically.
“Well, you don’t need to do the back flip. I was just impressing you.” He swam out of her way.
“I believe the term is ‘just trying to impress you’,” she said with a smile.
“Nope, no trying about it. I impressed you. Now get down here with me. The water’s fine,” he said while floating on his back.
Her smile faded. “I don’t know if I should do this, John. If I come home with a broken leg, my pa will probably kill you.” Mae looked down at the fifteen-foot drop.
“Oh, you get free health care anyway. Your dad’s a doc.
Don’t worry so much, it isn’t that high. I wouldn’t have you do it if it were dangerous. Now live a little,” he chided.
“All right, but if I break my leg I’m not letting you sign my cast.” She giggled at him and straightened her shoulders as she had seen him do.
“Okay, make sure you have a good grip and let go around the middle… that’s where the water is deepest,” he instructed. Mae took a few steps back and ran off the edge, closing her eyes as her foot left the earth. She swung out over the water, her dark locks shining in the sunlight. The rope reached its highest point, and she threw herself back.
No! Amanda heard John think. Don’t try to flip, don’t!
She was falling fast. She attempted to right herself as he had, but to no avail. Her eyes shot open, full of fear and met his right before her head awkwardly struck the water.
Amanda knew the loud crack that sounded couldn’t have happened in real life. He must have imagined he’d heard her neck breaking afterward, but all the same, the sound chilled her to the bone.
John swam over to her body, quickly pulling her out of the water, and laid her on the bank.
“Mae?” he whispered. She didn’t respond, her body limp and lifeless. He put his head gently to her chest where her soaked Sunday dress clung to her skin. “Mae?” he screamed. “Mae, wake up.” He took her face in his hands and kissed her hard.
“Mae, don’t leave me. Don’t go,” John begged her through sobs. He gently picked her up in his arms and began running. There was no need for the Healers to give chase. They were dragged along with him. He ran across two wheat fields with Mae’s limp body in his arms before a small town came into view.
Looked like a postcard, little white church and all. They neared the quaint country town.
“Help!” John screamed out frantically. “Someone help us please!” he begged. His voice was so full of pain Amanda had to lean on Cole to keep herself standing.
Where was he going? Didn’t he know it was too late?
Amanda could see he hadn’t given up. He still believed he could save the very dead girl in his arms. He had to believe that. He couldn’t go on without her. She couldn’t believe the pace that he kept. He had run three miles before Amanda understood his destination, the hospital. She was beginning to understand
why this memory hadn’t stopped by the river’s edge. It wasn’t only this girl’s death that was scarring. It was whatever happened next, with Mae’s father.
Amanda felt herself pulling back, attempting to fight the force towing her along after John. She didn’t want to see what happened next. She had no need to feel this boy’s pain. He was such a simple, fragile spirit. Madgie and Cole were looking at her thoughtfully.
“Mae’s father is a doctor,” Amanda said quietly. She turned to look at Cole, and his eyes met hers. He scanned her face. She looked away from him, turning back to the boy that she was scared to follow. “We’re headed to the hospital.” She gestured toward the building that was growing in size and clarity at their approach.
Madgie’s face contorted in pain and Cole’s fell in realization. “Oh!” Madgie cried. “You don’t think that…”
“Yes, of course something terrible is going to happen.
We’re here, aren’t we?” Amanda stated bluntly. Like the girl’s death wasn’t hard enough on him. She choked up. What was going to happen now?
John’s screams had caused a stir, and people began flowing out onto the street from small shops and eateries. They were all done up in their Sunday best, but it didn’t stop the women from dropping to their knees as John passed by.
“Mae!” Some of the women cried out before fainting, and
Amanda understood why they did. Mae’s body was devoid of all color. Her once pale, milky skin was now a nauseating grey.
Some of the men joined John in his run to the hospital. A tall middle-aged man ran next to him. He was dressed in a police uniform, but that wasn’t what struck her. As soon as she saw the man she knew who he was. John was the spitting image of his father.
“What happened, John?” his father asked.
“She hit the water.” His father looked confused by this short answer but didn’t question him any further. It was plain to see John was in a state of complete hysteria.
“You’re tired, son. Here, let me help you,” he said, leaning down to take Mae from his arms.