Nightsong

by Vella Wolf

  “It’s remarkably quiet in here,” I said.

  “Yes, the owner had all these rooms soundproofed,” Nyx replied.

  “That would be pretty handy in the Red Moon district,” I sighed.

  I fidgeted with my belt as I waited for him to speak. The suspense was killing me.

  “Take a seat if it’d be more comfortable,” Nyx said while pointing at the nearby table.

  “No, it's fine. I’ll stand.”

  Nyx ran a hand through his dishevelled fringe, brushing it from his face. “I’ll get to the point. A little bird told me it was actually your idea to contact us.”

  “That’s what this is about?” I said with a confused look.

  “You don’t understand why I might be upset about that?”

  “No, I’m part of our circle. I suggested it, and we agreed to act upon it. Why would it be an issue coming from me?”

  “Because it surprised me. Ever since we arrived, you’ve been giving every one of us daggers. I thought that you had been forced into this decision. That you were afraid of us and afraid for your sisters. That made sense to me, and I was keen to resolve it. But then I find out that you were the one that wanted to use us.”

  He paused as anger and sickness ran across his face. Clearing his throat, he continued. “You thought that using us was all fine and dandy until the marriage proposal. Why is that? Just fear for your sisters? Or were you disgusted by the fact that they would be married to one of us? That their children would be part Illyd?”

  “What?” I gasped.

  “Do we repulse you that much? Do I? Don’t you think that’s just a little bit hypocritical coming from you? I thought of all people you’d be more open to us,” Nyx growled.

  My blood boiled.

  “So you think I have to be buddies with everyone just because of my half-blood?!” I spat.

  “No, but I thought you’d at least be more open to the idea that people shouldn’t be judged on appearances and old stories. I’ve been to your library. Did you know some of those books say we eat people?! Are we just monsters to you?”

  “Nyx, stop! I don’t think that at all. I’m not disgusted by you! Where is this all coming from?”

  He paused for a moment, mulling over his next words. “At the gathering, I thought I’d ask your brothers about you. Nothing intrusive, I just wanted to know more about you. One of your brothers was more than keen to share your opinions on this whole situation.”

  Kero. It had to be him. Turning Nyx against me to keep him away. The stupid, overprotective, loveable prick.

  “I think you have fallen for bait. I gather it was Kero that spoke to you? My brothers are as keen to protect me as the other sisters. Kero and I are close. Please ignore his misguided attempt and don’t hold it against him. Next time you want my opinion on something, ask me instead.”

  Nyx’s shoulders began to relax, and he looked a little ashamed. “I’m sorry, you’re right. Tell me then. Why did you ask for us and yet show such animosity? Help me understand.”

  I sighed. “You were right the first time. I am afraid for my sisters. I never thought that you’d want to marry one of us. To put it simply, you are strangers to us. Dangerous strangers. I don’t trust you.”

  I knew I had said the wrong thing as a hurt ebbed onto his face. He scrunched his hand into a fist, conflict flickering in his eyes. But then he took a step, and another until he stood a foot before me. His fingers unfolded, reaching out to my own. Hesitantly, I responded in kind, and I shuddered as calloused fingertips brushed my palm.

  “Sabyr, I don’t want to be a stranger to you,” Nyx said, almost pleading as he entwined his hand with mine.

  I stared into his beautiful eyes, paralysed by his gaze. My goodness, he smelt like vanilla and honey. How could a man smell this good? His other hand came to rest on my cheek. His touch set my skin alight. In the blink of an eye, he leaned in and pressed his lips onto mine. My stiffness melted under his warm kiss, and without thinking, I returned the gesture. His scent filled my nose, and I willed my hands over his chest and neck, wrapping my arms around him. Nyx’s hands danced from my face, feeling their way to my waist. He pulled me in, closing the gap, pressing me against his firm body. I couldn’t stop myself from devouring him. He made me burn so bright. A hand slipped up from my waist, over my breast, and a button was pulled. This would be a mistake. I pulled back, pushing myself away from him.

  “I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. I shouldn’t have pushed this on you,” Nyx sighed.

  “No, it’s okay. I’m still drunk. This wouldn’t have been a good idea. I should have stopped earlier.”

  I buttoned my shirt and adjusted my clothes. “I think it’s time for me to head home,” I said.

  “Of course. Do you want me to escort you?”

  “No, I need some time to think.”

  Nyx stood aback, concerned. “Will you still meet me?” he asked.

  “Maybe. Please, I just need to think this all through,” I replied.

  He nodded sadly, but in understanding. I moved towards the door and opened it, ready to leave.

  “I meant what I said,” Nyx called behind me.

  “I know, and it just makes this harder,” I sighed, and I ran down the stairs, through the tavern, and out into the Red Moon district.

  Morning embers were already beginning to dance on the horizon by the time I made it back to the castle grounds, the stars above slowly vanishing from view. My head swam with thoughts as I walked towards my room. The situation with Nyx complicated everything. I passed through the rose garden, and to my surprise, a man sat on a garden bench looking up at the sky. For a moment, I thought it might be one of my brothers coming to chastise me. I bounded up in a huff but recoiled when I realised it was Raest.

  “Good evening Sabyr. I hope you don’t mind. I’ve been coming out here most nights to enjoy the stars and sunrise.”

  “No, not at all, none of my business really,” I said as I went to leave, but he continued talking.

  “I admit, I’m already missing the night. I haven’t experienced sun like this since I was young.”

  I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “Is that when you met my mother?”

  “Yes, I lived in an Illyd town on the border of our countries for some time. Ysara’s village wasn’t far from there. Perhaps you would like to meet and talk about her sometime?”

  “I would like that.”

  “Your sisters are interesting people,” he said with a soft smile.

  “I hope that’s not a joke.” As I growled out those words, I must have given him quite the look because he threw up his hands and gave an apologetic look.

  “Not at all! I mean it. I haven’t met anyone quite like them, especially Kariss.”

  “I feel like I should apologise for that. Kariss is… excitable at times,” I sighed.

  A sweet grin spread across his face, fangs glinted in the moonlight, and he looked up to the stars. “Don’t. It was a nice change not having to do all the talking. Your sisters are full of life and so different from some of the company I’m used to. Unfortunately, my kind tend to get a little bleak, cynical. Not all, but definitely more than I’d like. It comes with the long life.”

  Eyes of ice met mine as Raest faced me. Something, perhaps pain, marred his beautiful face. “Don’t ever be ashamed of your family. They are wonderful. I’m a little jealous.”

  I couldn’t hold back the grimace curling onto my lips.

  “Well, it won’t be long till they are your family, I suppose.”

  He looked a little taken aback. I needed to learn when to shut my mouth. The last thing I wanted was another fight with an Illyd male.

  “You don’t like me very much, do you?”

  I shrugged, dismissive. “It is not personal.”

  Raest’s composure began to crack. “You say that, but it’s a little hurtful when people judge you without knowing you. All because of your looks, race, home. I thought that would be something you’d understand.�
�

  “Ugh, not you too!”

  Raest raised a brow at me. “I guess Nyx has already been in your ear then?”

  I folded my arms across my chest, trying to drown my bubbling anger.

  “I know it was you that asked us here. I just don’t understand why you would partition us if you hated us so much,” Raest continued.

  Damn it, Kero. I placed my hand on my forehead. A headache was beginning to form. Too many arguments for one night.

  “This conversation is souring. I’ve already had this argument tonight. I think it’s time I left.”

  Fret danced across his face. Why?

  “Please don’t. Not yet,” Raest pleaded.

  “Why?” I growled.

  “Do I not deserve some sort of explanation for your scorn? If I have done something wrong, tell me so that I can try to make amends.”

  My mouth ran wild. “Stop! You have done nothing. You are just a stranger coming to claim one of my sisters. It wouldn’t matter who or what you are. I would still feel this way! Our parents promised they would have a choice. That they wouldn’t be shipped away. Because of my actions, that promise is broken.”

  Raest looked at me astounded, and I hated myself for looking so vulnerable. After a few moments, he spoke.

  “I didn’t know.”

  “How could you? The worry for their safety and their happiness drives me insane sometimes,” I sighed.

  “I’d never hurt them or you. I did not choose this path lightly. I truly want to forge a strong alliance and a new bond with your people. We’ve been isolated for so long, and I would not have your kingdom fall.”

  I shook my head and rubbed my brow. “Please just ignore me and my naivety. A part of me always thought my family would be together. That I would always be able to protect them.”

  “I don’t think that’s naive at all. It is a beautiful wish. I would have given anything to keep my family.”

  And there it was. The saddest face I had ever seen sitting on the face of a beautiful Illyd king.

  “I’m sorry. I had heard something about a sibling, but that was it,” I stammered.

  “War is a terrible thing. It consumed the entirety of my family in just a few years. Circae was cruel to condone it in the first place. What started out as a battle of egos just turned into death and misery. Who could ever wish that on their children?”

  I didn’t know what to say. I had experienced two deaths, and it had been crushing. To lose everything, I couldn’t even imagine what that was like. I felt so ashamed. I had spent so much time wailing about one of my siblings being married while he had completely lost his. He had lost his entire family. It was time to swallow my pride, bitterness, and suspicion.

  “I want to make peace. The only way for us to grow and survive is together. I knew this from the start, but the business with my sisters clouded my senses,” I announced as I strolled up to him and held out my hand.

  Raest took my hand and shook it. His hands were soft, not a single callous, nothing like Nyx’s. “Thank you. This means everything to me,” Raest smiled.

  “But if you ever hurt one of them, I will kill you,” I said as I began to make my way to my room.

  “I’d expect nothing less,” Raest murmured behind me.

  Chapter 12

  To my relief, the next day of courting wasn’t planned until after the weekend. So for two days, I was allowed some peace, and I took full advantage of it. I had barely left my room, rolling around and tormenting myself with my thoughts. I was too miffed to deal with Kero right now and was afraid of running into Nyx. The resolution with Raest was some progress, but the new problems with Nyx hounded me. His confession. We barely knew each other. There were far more important things to worry about, and yet, he was all I could think of.

  I pressed my fingertips to my lips as I thought about the kiss. What did Nyx really want from me? Sex or something more? I was not inexperienced in the physical part of courting. I had been with more than my share of men and women. But a proper relationship was entirely foreign to me. All my encounters had been fleeting dalliances, a form of stress relief or a distraction. No attempt had been made to pursue them after our entanglement. It didn’t help that most men around here were frightened of me, the women not so much, especially a few of the more adventurous ladies at court. But Nyx had been growing on me as a friend and possibly something else. I didn’t know, what was that supposed to feel like? The image of us entwined entered my mind. I almost didn’t stop him.

  A knock at the door brought me from my daze, and a muffled sound came through the wood.

  “Forgive the intrusion, but I was hoping we could talk briefly? We haven’t yet had the pleasure.” The voice, female and unfamiliar.

  I jumped to my feet, scrambling to adjust my shirt to cover myself. I pulled open the door, and a tall, beautiful Maeyr smiled at me, dressed in a soft blue cotton dress.

  “Lady Ophelia? What is it?” I asked.

  “May I come in?” she smiled.

  I gestured her in and closed the door behind us. I turned back to face her, and in a second, her smile coiled into fury.

  “What in Erohk have you done to Nyx!” she hissed as she jabbed a perfectly manicured nail into my face.

  “What do you mean?!” I cried in reply.

  “He has been sulking ever since he came back the other night! He won’t speak to me. He just keeps saying he fucked up. Explain!” Ophelia demanded.

  I shook my head at her. I was not going to have her dragged into this. We had barely spoken.

  “This isn’t any of your business Ophelia,” I growled back at her.

  Her pale blue skin began to puff red as her anger grew. I took a few steps back, expecting a slap.

  “This is exactly my business! He is family. Do you really expect me to believe you wouldn’t be knocking down my door if I had upset one of yours?”

  Nyx had said the same thing about her. She had a point, but the thought of telling her embarrassed me endlessly. I swallowed deeply.

  “We had a bit of an argument, and he… kissed me. I told him I needed time to process everything.”

  Ophelia folded her arms over her prominent bust, her anger cooling.

  “What is there to process? You either like him, or you don’t. Stop letting him suffer.”

  “It’s more complicated than that. We have the marriage proposal to deal with, the alliance, all the organising and responsibilities. It’s not practical for a general and someone like me to goof off,” I said.

  “It is not complicated. What is going on between you two is personal. I doubt either of you would let it hinder your work. It’s not going to affect our alliance. In fact, it might improve it. An Illyd general and a Seren Kel princess getting along so well, so lovely,” she beamed. She almost had stars in her eyes.

  “I can’t. It’s too soon. I need more time. I have things to do,” I babbled.

  Ophelia held out a finger to shush me, and a mixture of sadness and madness swirled over her. “Stop. Listen to me. It isn’t often that you meet people in this world that you have a connection with. In the blink of an eye, they could be gone. Don’t throw that away.” She spoke with an icy calm.

  After dropping her hand, she continued. “My people, the Maeyr, we measure the value of our life through how many days we count as being happy. At the time of our death, our bodies are taken back to the sea. We turn back into the water from which we came. We leave no graves. Moments before we die, one of our oracles looks into our hearts to find our number. This number is scribed onto an object by our families and placed into the halls of memories. There is no greater pride for the family than seeing a high number.”

  I looked at her, amazed. It might have been one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard. I wondered how many days my mother had.

  “My point is. Be happy. You are in a position where you can choose. Don’t drag yourself down out of fear or duty. Immortal or not, life can be shorter than you expect,” Ophelia sighe
d.

  “I will think more and try to see him tonight,” I said.

  She smiled at me wildly. “Good! His room is at the end of the hall on the right side, next to mine. And remember, if you don’t go, I will be coming back.”

  I shook my head as Ophelia made her way to the door. “How many days have you had?” I asked.

  “Six thousand, two hundred and seven."

  I waited into the night until I was sure the majority of the castle was at rest. The last thing I wanted was to get caught going to Nyx’s room at night. Arndell forbid the rumours. Arndell forbid Kero. I made my way out of my room, through the castle, and down to the Illyd guest wing. A few Illyd were still out in the hall, to my dismay, chatting with each other and moving to other rooms. They stared at me with curiosity as I walked down to the end of the hall. While these rooms were similar to our bedrooms, they came in a variety of sizes to suit guests. Most of the Illyd guards received smaller or shared rooms near the beginning of the wing. Nyx, Ophelia, and Verona received rooms closer to the size of mine. At the very end of the hall was the biggest of all, similar to Elren’s suite. This was Raest’s room.

  I found Nyx’s door on the right and flexed my hand, trying to will myself to knock. My hand tingled. I still hadn’t entirely figured out what to say. With a deep breath, I forced my hand onto the wood of the door, knocking gently. I could hear a bit of a scramble inside and the clinking of bottles. Moments later, the door swung open, revealing a heavy-eyed, ruffled Nyx. His lilac eyes widened in surprise.

  “Hello Nyx,” I said nervously.

  He looked me up and down, examining my baggy, untucked shirt and worn leggings.

  “I like this casual look,” he smiled.

  “These are my relaxing clothes, not my everyday wear like your mess,” I hissed.

  We stood staring at each other.

  “Are you going to let me in?” I frowned.