Nightsong

by Vella Wolf

  A note came to me on the weekend as expected, and by the afternoon, I made my way to the lake for my meeting with Raest. The lake was calm as always, and the wind was chilly. I shivered as it ran over me. Winter was beginning to creep in already, and I regretted the lack of a cape in my current attire. I crossed the grass and noticed that Raest and Nyx already sat at the bench. Nyx was in his usual guard uniform, while Raest wore similar casual clothes, in shades of grey. His hair hung loose, cascading over his shoulders. The two sat roaring with laughter over something. I rarely had the pleasure of watching them interact, such warmth in their faces as they chatted like old friends. I felt a tinge of envy in my heart again.

  “Good afternoon,” I called out on approach.

  They both turned and waved cheerfully.

  “Glad you could join me Sabyr,” Raest called back.

  “I guess this is my cue to get a move on,” Nyx said as he stood up, offering me the seat. He gave me a sly smile before mumbling about meeting me later. I waved him off, and as he left, I took my place on the bench beside Raest. With Nyx out of sight, I moved to speak. Raest held up a hand to stop me.

  “One moment,” he said as he began to fossick through his pants. A small cloth bag was pulled from his pocket, and he held it up in the air for me to see. “I came prepared this time,” he said as he opened the packet revealing its contents. Seeds of various colours and sizes, lay mixed in the fabric. Raest began to throw seeds across the grass, the ducks and water birds flocking towards the food. It wasn't long before songbirds from the trees around us flew down to join the kerfuffle. Some landed before Raest, others landed right onto his arm. Gently he poured grain into the cup of his hands, allowing the birds to feed. I stared at him, mouth agape.

  “You aren't remotely what I expected Raest,” I said as I watched in awe at the scene before me.

  “In a good or a bad way?” He said softly, ensuring not to scare the birds.

  “Good. You are very… gentle,” I admitted. “And I doubt many men, let alone kings would take time to feed the birds.”

  Raest let out a soft laugh, “I have my own mother to thank for that, she always taught me to be kind and respectful to life, no matter how small.”

  He spoke with the same fondness I had for my mother.

  “What was your mother like?” I asked.

  He paused, looking up to the sky. A smile made its way onto his lips as he began to speak. “Beautiful, soft-hearted but stubborn and fiery as an ox, part of why my father loved her. Originally he was supposed to marry someone else, a betrothal. But after meeting my mother, he wouldn't have it. He vowed to throw away his name and crown if they didn't let him have her.”

  “Passionate people then,” I smiled.

  Raest tilted his head back to the earth, watching the birds peck through the grass.

  “Even now, the grief from losing them is suffocating. But, I find comfort in the fact they had found each other, loved fiercely, and were still able to spend many years together. Some people spend their whole lives alone.”

  I forced myself to suppress a laugh. “A romantic? Again you surprise me. How you could possibly agree to an arranged marriage.”

  Raest faced me, and I was frozen under his icy gaze. Amusement and sadness warred on his face. “Because it is my duty to carry the burden of my people and sacrifice my happiness and freedom for my kingdom,” he said with a curt smile.

  My own words, thrown back at me. I wasn’t sure if I should feel guilty, annoyed, or flattered.

  “Alright, I suppose it was a bit of a stupid question,” I shrugged.

  Laughing, Raest took another small handful of seeds from the pouch. He reached over, his hand hovering above mine, gesturing me to open my hand. The grain was dropped into my palm, and I held out my hand in front of me. Within seconds a few sparrows landed on my fingers, hopping and eating the grain, their claws like gentle pins on my skin.

  “I haven’t done this since… my mother died,” I murmured.

  The conversation drifted back to the subject of my mother. Apparently, my mother had been quite defiant in her youth. Grandfather tried everything to keep her in the estate, but her persistence wore him down. Initially, he was terrified about the relationship she had formed with the Illyd. But over time he came to welcome them, happy they were always looking out for her. I felt a tinge of sadness as Raest spoke. My grandfather had died not long before my birth, I never had the chance to meet him. Now, meeting him was just another impossible wish on my list.

  Raest mused over all the things they used to do together with their friends. Walks in the woods and trips to the taverns were a common activity. Ysara always managed to find entry to any party she wanted. On hotter days they would go swimming in rivers and lakes. Overall mundane but Raest insisted it was still the happiest time of his life. Ysara also took time to assist the villagers with her gift, helping crops and gardens to flourish. Raest expressed utter fascination with her nature abilities. He had tried to get my mother to join a magical academy in Naedis, but she had refused time and time again.

  “I hate to admit it, but I was disappointed that she didn’t pursue her talent. She could have become so much more than a wife and mother,” Raest sighed as he spilled the last of the grain onto the grass.

  “I never realised that she had the potential. I only ever saw her using her ability in the garden. Mother… she was practically vacant in court, always leaving things to Torsen. Honestly, she wasn’t much of a ruler. I don’t understand why she would have squandered such a gift. If I could do what she did, I…” I broke off my words, knowing it was leading to an unnecessary rant.

  For the second time, Raest placed a hand on my shoulder. “That makes the two of us.”

  Birds began to fly away back to their roosts and ponds. There was no more food to give, and the afternoon had started to dull into the evening. The sound of twilight began to set in, ever so peaceful.

  “Tell me something,” Raest said, breaking the peace. “What do you want from life, Sabyr? You are in a position where you bear status, and you have a title, but your bloodline limits your potential. You can never be called queen here, and all your personal ties are bound to this place. What do you plan to do with your life?”

  I already knew my answer, it was the same words I had sung many times before.

  “Continue to protect and assist my family as I have always done. If and when the Solair come, I will meet them on the battlefield. If I ever fall, I will be content that I did everything I could for my kingdom and my family.”

  Raest made a forlorn expression, laced with disapproval. “That is grim. Not much of a life. What about love, children?”

  I didn’t stop myself from laughing this time as truth and lies fell from my mouth. “Do I look like the nurturing kind?” I chuckled. “I have my kin, I don't need a husband or children for family. I'm not against love, but it's not a priority for me. Besides, a person's life and its worth is to be valued by them alone. No one else gets to dictate that. Everyone's concept of a good life is different.”

  “You too continue to surprise me,” he said.

  I continued to laugh and turned to ask him the same.

  “What do you want, Raest? I imagine someone like you must have big dreams.”

  He looked a little nervous as he mulled over my question. Running a hand through his violet-black fringe, he grimaced.

  “I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but not really. Of course, I wish to be the best ruler I can be. But, all I ever wanted was an average life. A mate, children eventually, and a place to call home. Kyo was supposed to be king. I spent most of my youth thinking I wouldn’t have to bear the responsibility. But. Then he died. He died after only ruling for five years without a wife or an heir. It all fell to me then,” he confessed.

  Without thinking, I reached out to place my hand on his shoulder. The same comfort he had often offered to me. Raest had practically oozed confidence and authority since he arrived, but in truth, he was
just as frightened as the rest of us.

  “I will always keep trying to rule as best as I can, but as for what I want…” Raest trailed off for a moment before continuing. “I want a mate, someone to rule with. An equal to no end, one to hold for as long as time will allow. I can only hope that whoever I marry can love me as I know I will love them, in time.”

  My curiosity burned as bright as ever.

  “Who will you choose? It has been over three weeks, you must know by now,” I asked.

  He paused for a moment before answering. “No. I have to be sure. I have not yet decided,” Raest said.

  “Alright. Keep your secrets. I bet it is Celia,” I mumbled under my breath, looking into his eyes. They gave away nothing.

  “Thinking about all this and my mother,” I continued. “Ysara, while she wasn’t much of a queen, she was a good mother, and perhaps that was all she wanted. To be the best mother. That’s what gave her life value. I shouldn’t be angry about that or I’d be a hypocrite.”

  “I think you might be right. Regardless, it sounds like Ysara had the life she wanted,” he smiled.

  “I think she did too,” I agreed.

  Together we sat in the silence, watching the sun begin to dip behind the horizon. This time spent with Raest was far more valuable than I thought it would be. Not only had I learnt much about my mother, but I also had come to know Raest in another light. The fear for my sisters was dwindling.

  “It’s late. Time to be off, I suppose. I’m sure we both have far more important things to be doing,” I sighed.

  Raest chuckled. “Probably. But this was worth the time, I normally don’t get leisure like this,” he let out a heavy breath before continuing. “This week will be busy. I have many preparations to make for my return and the wedding to follow, but if there is time, I will send a letter if you’d like that is,” he said.

  “Go ahead and if not I’m sure we’ll have time again in the future. I certainly won’t be leaving my sister alone with you all the time,” I said with a wink.

  He laughed again, a little nervous this time, and gave a shallow bow.

  “Till next time, Sabyr,” he said.

  “Till next time.”

  Chapter 18

  Along with winter, the last week of courting had arrived. In a blink of an eye, the week was gone, the meetings passing just as they had done before. There was still no indication of whom would be chosen. I hadn't been able to read anything from any of the meetings. They had all been amicable, almost ordinary and Raest had given away nothing. My frustration was tenfold when no letter arrived. There would be no afternoon meeting for me to attempt to pry answers from him. But by day's end news buzzed through the castle. Tomorrow. Raest would announce his decision tomorrow.

  Nyx told me himself when he arrived at my room. Some of us expected him to drag it out another week. I had almost hoped he would because as soon as he made his choice, he would leave and Nyx along with him. So tonight was it, our last night, or at least for now. There would be no inn nor mead, just us sharing company in his room. Beneath Nyx’s lights, we moved as one, devouring one another while uttering gentle moans. My eyes taking in every expression, every scar, every inch of him, memories to be burned into my mind. Something to savour in his absence.

  We laid together, face to face, skin bared to the world. His arm embracing my waist, his heat keeping me warm. My fingers and eyes wandered his body, touching, feeling, remembering. His face had never looked more content as he let me play. For a moment, the peace in those lilac eyes faltered. Worry and something strange overtook them. The look trailed over my face and down over my shoulder strangely. His hand followed the motion, running down my neck. At last, his storm calmed, and a smile returned to his lips. He drew closer, kissing all the spots he had caressed.

  “You know,” he murmured onto my skin, sending tingles up my spine. “With one of your sisters coming back to Xerai with us, she’d probably adjust better if she had some company. You could come with us and stay in the castle, helping her out with this and that.”

  I smiled slyly at him. “Are you asking me to come live with you?”

  He shook his head frantically, waving a hand about. “No! Well, yes. But obviously only for as long as you wanted to. I know you have important work to do here and I certainly wouldn’t want you to rush into anything! But the offer is there.”

  His tone was nervous, not the usual confidence or ego. The gesture of this sent butterflies fluttering in my stomach. He was actually frightened, and I relished this beautiful vulnerability. Leaning forward, I hovered before his mouth, looking straight into his incredible eyes.

  “Go on, say it,” I whispered onto his lips.

  He caught my breath and shuddered. “Live with me Sabyr. Even if it’s just when you want to or you can. I don’t want to be away from you.”

  I crushed my lips against his as he took me into his embrace. Hands danced across my bare skin, igniting me on fire. I broke the kiss so I could finally answer him.

  “Yes, I’ll go with you. There will be time that I cannot spare you, but you will have everything I can give. Tomorrow I’ll speak with Elren. After Raest makes his choice.”

  A deep passionate kiss followed his bright smile. His hands guided me onto my back as he took his place above. The kiss broke, and he hovered over me, his face filled with content.

  “Sabyr… I didn’t think I could be this happy,” he whispered.

  I stroked his cheek. “Me either,” I smiled.

  Serenity overcame me as I gazed at my lover. I didn't know what the future held, and I didn't care anymore. This was what I wanted, this little piece just for me. With all the horrors that loomed over the horizon, I wasn't going to hold back any longer. May this be the light in my life during the darkness to come. I reached up to stroke Nyx’s face. Cheek glimmered in his eyes as his fingertips began to toy with my breasts.

  “Not long till morning now and I certainly don't want to waste it,” he purred. Leaning down, he began to rain down kisses across my stomach. “Let’s see if I can coerce some of those lovely sounds out of you,” he growled, moving lower and lower. I couldn't hold back a yelp as pleasure thrummed through me. As we spent the rest of the night entwined in Nyx’s room, I spared a thought for Ophelia next door. I hoped she could forgive us.

  Chapter 19

  The sun pierced through the dark curtains slowly illuminating the room, the light enough to disturb us from our sleep. With great reluctance, Nyx and I pulled ourselves out of bed. Once again, I wore my vest adorned with my house's sigil, while Nyx wore his uniform. Today was it, the work of the past month leading up to this moment. Naedis would have a new queen, and we would have our alliance forged in blood.

  With a kiss goodbye, I left Nyx to attend to my duties. The announcement was due in an hour. It would be a private matter, no assembly, no crowds, and no parties, just the Circle of the Umbral Moon and my family. To my surprise, the girls were ready on my arrival, with only a few clothing adjustments to be made. Today they all wore matching dresses of dark blue. They weren't as elaborate as I expected, short lace sleeves, a modest straight cut above the breast, and a wide verdant ribbon tied around the waist above the tulle skirt. A few white rosebuds were placed in their up pinned hair. Kariss whinged about them looking the same and Emile about the itchy lace. Celia was quiet. They hadn't changed in the past month, but I felt like a new person.

  Together we left their rooms heading towards Elren's study, the venue for the event. It was the perfect place, large enough for our meeting, and most of all, one of the few soundproof rooms in the castle. This was one particular piece of news that needed to be announced to the kingdom. Travelling on tongues as a rumour could be dangerous for everyone. Kariss blabbered to Emile about her incoming queendom, Emile poking fun where she could. Celia still said nothing. I wasn't sure if it was nerves or contemplation. I placed a hand on her shoulder for comfort.

  “It's going to be alright,” I said.

  Sh
e nodded weakly. “I hope so,” she whispered.

  The study almost sparkled, not a web or speck of dust could be seen. Much to Elren's distress, I had ordered the servants to clean it thoroughly on the weekend. Our brothers were already in the study when we arrived. Dion and Kero were arguing over who would be attending the wedding, neither wanted to go. I wasn't sure if they would be relieved or horrified when I broke the news that it would be me. Elren and Wickam both sat at his desk, scribing documents to seal our arrangement.

  I ushered the girls into their place and moved to join my brothers. Kero gave me a guilty look as I approached. Following his cheek that day, our conversation had been heated but the problem resolved. He had been somewhat avoiding me ever since no doubt feeling terrible for the shit he caused me. Dion gave me a stern expression. While he hadn't said anything, I was sure he disapproved of my involvement with the Illyd. But Dion was the one sibling that seemed to disapprove of everything I did, so I really didn't care. Elren gave a warm smile as I turned to him. We had barely had time to speak this past month, merely the odd report on the courting here and there.

  “This is it Sabyr. We did it,” he grinned.

  “This all went very smoothly. Who knew consorting with the children of chaos could be so… harmonious,” I laughed.

  Elren grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. “Thank you Sabyr, for everything. Without you, this wouldn't have been possible,” he said with grand affection.

  I blushed madly, compliments from him meant everything. I went to thank him in return, but my words were cut short as the study doors creaked open. The Circle of the Umbral Moon had arrived.

  Ophelia led the pack dressed in a pair of high waisted black pants. Her dark red shirt was buttoned up to her cleavage, the sleeves cutting at the elbow flowing into ruffles. With a dozen red crystal pins, her hair bundled up around her crown. Verona followed behind in the very same combat gear. I don't think I had ever seen her out of uniform. The two took their place to the left of the door.