Nightsong

by Vella Wolf

  Selune’s face twisted cruelly. “Raest offered everything to save your pitiful human family, and you couldn’t even keep your legs closed.”

  My skin flushed, shame and rage. “What? No?” I exclaimed.

  “What would your father think? Betraying his best friend and the family he championed. All for that pretty little general,” she mocked.

  I couldn’t sit still anymore, I rose to my feet, ready to punch her again. “How would you know anything about that,” I hissed back.

  Selune rose to meet my threat, her ears tilted back. “Who do you think Raest talks to? Certainly not you.”

  I felt my blood boil. Duties, work, meetings. My arse.

  “Are you his mistress then?” I snapped, ready to rip her head off.

  Selune laughed mockingly. “Maybe if I was a few thousand years younger. But he is far too loyal anyway. To his own fault.”

  “Since you are both such great friends, perhaps you should tell him that he should be wasting less time with you.”

  “Why would I do that? You are a waste of time. You make him feel alone, you hurt him. He should just ship you back home and leave you humans to burn.”

  I let out a growl, walking right up to her face, struggling not to lash out. “You are lucky I can’t shift, I would rip you in two!”

  “Oh, I doubt that very much,” she said, flicking my chest, pushing me back. “Spoilt, weak, treacherous little human,” she spat as she continued her barrages. “Liar. Cheater! Coward! Whore! I should kill you and save Raest the trouble, maybe your pretty boy too!”

  I swung back, all my fury forced into my fist. Dark claws tore into Selune’s soft flesh. Blood like starlight pouring from the wounds. The pain and burning surged through my body again, a loud ringing shrieked into my ears. My head began to fuzz, my eyesight darkened.

  The last thing I heard was Selune roaring, “Good!”

  Chapter 37

  My clothes were in shreds, my body covered in already healing cuts. I was back in my room. I must have blacked out again. I swore, jumping up from my bed, tearing the curtains open. The moon was high in the sky, out for quite a few hours then. The memory of my training session flooded back. Being saddled with that bitch, the nerve of her! And I still wasn’t any better for it, just as useless as before.

  I whirled around in a flurry knocking a vase next to me flying. It smashed into tiny pieces, the sound loud and shattering. I clasped my chest as the heaviness came back. What was wrong with me? I had never been filled with so much wrath. It was suffocating, all-consuming. How had this place so quickly become the nightmare I had feared?

  The bedroom door creaked open, and Eed walked in with a fresh set of clothes. She looked to the pile of pieces, sighing deeply.

  “If you are quite done. I can fetch your dinner,” she said, placing the garments on the bed. I snatched them up instantly, tearing off my tatters.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m going for a walk,” I said as I stormed off downstairs. I couldn't stand to be trapped in this house any longer. I wanted to run, I wanted to scream.

  Out the hallway and across the dining hall, the garden was in my sights. I passed the kitchen, something snagged me to a halt. A smell. A smell, sweeter than honey and more tempting than the finest mead. It came wafting from the kitchen. My gut growled, demanding obedience. I lurched forward, following my nose, passing pots and pans to reach the pantry and my prize. Meat. Raw and bloody, sat at the centre table.

  Walking up to the dish, I dug my fingers into the feast without hesitation. Bringing it to my mouth, my fangs dug into the beast flesh, the blood running down my chin. I moaned in satisfaction, eagerly taking another bite and another. My stomach growled for more and I didn't hold back. In minutes I devoured every piece and lay on the floor amongst bone and blood.

  A high pitched scream sounded, followed by the smashing of glass. My ecstasy interrupted. In a frenzy, I leapt from the floor, turning to a frightened Raphin servant. She shook under my predator's gaze, the smell of fresh blood filling my nose. Her hands were cut. The very same pressure began to poke and prod, and a voice from the back of my mind whispered, "you are still hungry." I closed my eyes, trying to swallow the feeling.

  “It's alright, don't be scared,” I panted.

  The Raphin began to back away, ready to bolt.

  A voice emerged, not quite my own. “Don't. Run. Food runs.”

  She bolted in a flash, and a familiar pain ripped through me. Claws and fur burst forth, and I was off on the chase.

  A whirl of colours rushed before my eyes as I ran. Frightened figures scattered in my vision not once distracting me from my prey. My instincts had taken the reins, I now just a passenger shoved in the back. A part of my mind screamed at them to stop while the other fought to pursue.

  Darkness threatened to push me out again, trying to lull me to slumber but this time I fought back. Stop, stop, stop! I commanded. My arms and legs refused to listen, but the sounds around me became clear. The Raphin's heavy footsteps, the sound of her quickened breath. Chainmail clinked, and voices shouted. The guardsmen on night duty were in wary pursuit. I willed further control, my vision beginning to clear, we were out in the garden somewhere. Silly rabbit, less help out here, the voice came again.

  My prey and I rounded a corner, I tried to pull myself back, but the other half of me noticed an opening. No, no, no! I screamed, but my body refused to obey. I cut across the turn, bounding through the bushes. Fast rabbit, but not fast enough. With a force that could knock the wind out of a bull, I crushed the Raphin to the ground pinning her under my claws. She gasped for breath, tears streaming from her eyes. A soft, timid voice pleaded for mercy. Sickness and excitement churned through me, consciousness beginning to ebb. This was an innocent living being, a defenceless young woman. Weak, fodder, nothing but food.

  “No. I don't think that! Listen to me!” I screamed out loud to myself, the fear in the Raphin's eyes intensifying.

  “Keep Eed inside,” a voice commanded nearby. My ears could pick up at least a few people behind me.

  “What? What do we do? Should I get more guards?” another voice stammered.

  “No. That will make it worse. Let us handle it.” The voice, I think it was Raest? It sounded so strange in these ears. By the gods, what I must look like.

  “Sabyr? Can you hear me?” Raest called in a gentle voice. I managed to growl out some form of recognition.

  “Sabyr. Is it alright if I come closer?”

  A wail of pain burst forth as my claws dug into the Raphin's flesh. The meal will not be taken! Dark violet blood seeped out from beneath my claws.

  “Help us. Help me,” I panted. “Hurt me. I can't control...”

  “Talani!” A wretched scream came forth from a new figure sprinting across the garden. “Talani! Oh gods, what have you done!”

  “I told you to keep Eed inside!” Raest growled.

  “I couldn't stop her!” Ophelia’s voice cried.

  I could hear the sound of Eed trying to push her way through, screaming out the pinned Raphin's name over and over. Eed knew this person, this was a friend. With all my might I pulled back, loosening my grip ever so slightly.

  “What are you doing just standing there, do something! You have magic and weapons for Erohk's sake!” Eed shouted.

  “If we move any closer she could snap Talani in half! And I…” Raest paused, desperation surging into his voice. “I can't. I can't hurt Sabyr...”

  “Why, because she's your wife? Well, your wife is seconds from eating mine! Your mother would be turning over in her grave at that monster you brought here!”

  Wife. This woman, this person, was Eed’s wife. Not just a servant, not a friend and certainly not food. Monster. I was the monster threatening to take her wife, her love, her life away. Did they have children? What in Erohk had I become? Arndell take me.

  I ripped my hands from Talani, stumbling back and crawling away. I could feel the beast begin to recoil, the dark red fur on my
arms receding. On my hands and knees, I crawled to the garden bed, hurling out my guts in disgust. I hated myself. I had never hated myself so much before.

  I rolled onto my side in time to see Eed pull Talani into her arms. They cried while holding each other tightly as if the other one would slip away at any moment. Eed was always so stern and serious, but here she was like everyone else. She had taken such good care of me, and I had almost stolen her sunshine.

  Grey paws came into view, and Esu bent down to inspect me.

  I pushed him away gently. “Don't even think about checking me before her. I'm bloody fine,” I slurred. He backed away, respecting my wishes, Raest’s black boots came into view as he left.

  “There is no going back now, not after all of this. What you have done. What I have done. Nothing will ever be the same again. Everyone is going to know that your queen is a monster.” I mumbled through my haze.

  “No. There are only a few witnesses—”

  A weak but mocking laugh came forth interrupting him. “You are as naive as I. Things like this always have a habit of getting out. This will only fuel the rumours already floating about.”

  “Sabyr… Words cannot express—” he began to babble, but I cut him off right then and there.

  “Stop. Just stop. Nothing you say can make this better.”

  “What do you want me to do then?”

  “Take me back to my room. Lock me inside.”

  Chapter 38

  Eed was gone. Placed on an extended but temporary leave. A thick iron lock was installed on the outside of my door, per my request. Ophelia now had the drudge work of bringing me my food. At least she could defend herself against me. My meals now included more meat than before, as per Esu’s request. He said it might help with my impulses.

  Raest had apologised for Selune’s actions, insisting that it was all benign taunts to force out my primal. He promised my future training with her would be gradual and professional. Fantastic. In a matter of a few days, I had been reduced to some sort of caged animal. Ever since Secosa’s attack, I had felt weak, powerless. I wished that I had gotten just a little more from my lineage like Celia. I guess I had my wish granted.

  “You will not keep my sweet girl locked up! I don’t care if she asked for it!” a woman’s voice boomed as my door was shoved open. In an instant, the hefty Kera grappled me into a hug, crushing me against her.

  “Fye,” I rasped through her crushing grip. “I thought you had gone back home?”

  “I was on my way when a little bird found me. I should have stayed after what happened at the festival, but I thought you were in good hands,” she gave Raest a sidelong scowl.

  Fye let me down gently, her paws grabbing at my arms and face inspecting me. “So many cuts!” she hissed. “How could you let Selune have at her?! She's older and grumpier than me!”

  “Selune made a mistake, throwing Sabyr into the deep end but she won’t make it again,” Raest insisted.

  Fye’s maw curled open, her jagged teeth bared, “You are sending her back?! Are you insane? You are going to trap her in this room and send her off to that bully?” She looked as if she was about to punch Raest.

  “Fye it’s alright, I agreed to this,” I said, rubbing her arm to calm her.

  “It is only until she is able to control herself,” Raest added.

  Fye looked back down at me, her expression mirroring a mother’s love. “And what will locking you up achieve?! You can’t live like this, my pet.”

  I shook my head, she must not know what I did, surely she wouldn't protest if she knew.

  “Fye, did your bird tell you what I did? I almost killed Eed’s wife! She didn’t do anything wrong. I just couldn’t control myself. I am too dangerous to be allowed free reign, I have to live like this.”

  A soft paw ran over my head and cheek, pain-filled her crystal blue eyes. “I know, I know. It is not your fault. But Sabyr, you don’t understand. Locking you up might keep others safe for a while, but what about you? You are not human anymore, not entirely. You are beast and much more than that. You are predator, like me. We can act as civilised as we want, but no matter what we do or where we go, the wild will call, and our instincts will answer. Controlling that side of us is one thing, satisfying it is another. Do you know what happens to beasts in cages? Madness. Death. You need to run, you need to hunt with the wind at your heels.”

  I knew what she meant, I felt it more and more with each passing day. The attack was evidence enough, but it wasn't just the bloodlust. A restlessness had awoken in my bones. I had felt disquiet before, being kept inside this past month. But this new feeling… the ache was agony. At this point, I didn't even understand what my body wanted, I just knew it wanted out. If this ache got worse… madness was likely the best word for it.

  Fye continued to speak. “All Illyd have stronger instincts than those of men, but the beast races are something else entirely. Raest, he cannot understand, and he never will. But I do. I have… another path for you Sabyr. Come to parlour so we may sit and talk more comfortably.”

  Raest eyed her, dubiously. “You found someone else?”

  Fye’s expression flickered, sorrow and guilt. “You could say that.”

  Fye refused to say anymore, insisting we follow her to the parlour. Servants scattered at the sight of me as we moved downstairs, Raest casting threatening glares at each one. Rounding the bend, we entered the communal parlour. Esu and Ophelia sat around the central table, as well as someone else.

  “What in Erohk is he doing back in my house?!” Raest roared as he sighted Lusin sitting next to Ophelia, his boots resting on the table.

  Lusin feigned hurt, “That’s not a very nice way to welcome guests. I was invited here!”

  “Not by me you infernal tick! Couldn’t get anything more out of Rogan, so you’ve moved onto Fye have you?” Raest roared.

  A loud snarl sounded as Fye attempted to cut them off. “Enough! Lusin was my little bird. I invited him here.”

  Shock and then rage poured over Raest. “How is it possible that you know?”

  “Things like that have a habit of getting out,” Lusin said as he clicked his tongue.

  Shadows began to seep from Raest, the lights in the room flickering as everyone tensed.

  “Spying on my household is death to anyone, admitting it might be the stupidest thing you have ever done Lusin,” Raest hissed.

  Lusin’s own darkness began to ebb as he stood up from his seat. “Not even close. You want to try me, old man?! We aren’t children anymore, I won’t lose this time.”

  Fye let out a roaring yowl as ice formed in her hands. “I said enough! Kings bickering like children! How will we stand against Secosa and the Solair when we can’t even talk? Shame!” She held up an ice crystal in each hand, pointing one to Raest and Lusin. “Sit in chair and behave or I’ll freeze you to one of them.”

  Like scolded children Lusin returned to his chair, Raest finding a seat next to Esu. I moved next to Esu while Fye sat across from me. She was still eying me with pity, and I realised something. For the first time, I had not felt fear in the presence of Illyd power. I almost felt… apathy.

  “Now, can we please talk like adults?” Fye hissed at the boys. Everyone at the table nodded in agreement, she continued. “Lusin has offered to take Sabyr to Vala for training. She is welcome there as long as is needed, or she desires.”

  Raest’s claws dug into the table. “You can't be serious?”

  “What better way for Worg to learn than in their homeland? Vala and my Sargen are filled with predators, she won't be a danger there. Sabyr will be able to run free as she desires, learning how to be Worg from those who are her kin.”

  Raest glowered. “Our friend is a perfectly capable teacher. If they are that much of a problem, perhaps we can assign Ophelia and Verona to the task.”

  Ophelia looked flustered and annoyed. “Maeyr and Vulpin are not remotely the same as Worg! Neither of us could teacher her properly, and we have our own
duties to attend to!”

  “And your friend isn’t the only problem here,” Fye sighed.

  “We can make more room for Sabyr, bar off a floor or stay at one of the private estates,” Raest rebutted.

  Fye shook her head over and over again. “That isn’t enough! Tape on an open wound!”

  Tension and panic began to rise in Raest's voice. “I can make it enough! Surely there is a way to deal with this so that I don’t have to send her away!”

  I felt a pang in my chest, the desperation coming from him was sad and pitiful.

  “Raest… Fye is right. It isn’t enough. There is nothing we can do to make it enough,” Esu murmured, looking sympathetically at Raest.

  Raest looked between Esu, Ophelia and Fye. More hurt in his eyes.

  “So I take it that both Esu and Ophelia agree with you then? I’m alone in my protest?” he said with a swallow. Everyone nodded, and he turned to me. “What do you think, Sabyr?”

  I looked at him, surprised. He actually asked.

  “Can’t say I wanted to spend more time with Lusin but... I think they are right. They would know better than I, and the sooner I get this problem under control, the better,” I said, pausing to mull over questions rising in my mind. “However, I have a few concerns. For one, won't people wonder why the queen is in Vala?”

  Raest jumped on this. “She has a point, and Secosa could have men lurking anywhere. She managed to get in here, I’m sure she’d have no issue infiltrating Lusin’s… pack.”

  Fye waved her paws. “She wouldn't be Sabyr Nightsong there. Lusin is only Valan Worg who has seen her, with little change we can disguise Sabyr as someone else. It will keep her safe.”

  Someone else. The appeal of that was more thrilling than it should have been.

  I continued with my questions. “Am I to live in Vala with the Worgs?”

  Raest bristled next to me.

  “No, you would stay at my property on bordering town. Myself or one of my kin will stay with you at all times,” Fye responded.