by K. Street
I shut the door and spun on him. “What the fuck, Tucker? You said she was irrelevant.”
“Cam—”
“Don’t.”
He ran his hands through his hair. “It’s not a big deal. She came home for the holidays and brought her mom’s car in to get the oil changed. I’ve been servicing her parents’ cars for years.”
“Given the way she touched you, it doesn’t look like that’s the only thing you’ve been servicing.”
“That’s bullshit, and you know it.” He folded his arms over his chest and took a step forward. “It’s business.”
“Business that requires you to close your office door and have Nash watch Shayne?” My stance mirrored his. “Tucker, who the fuck is she?”
“My ex.”
“Ex what?”
“Girlfriend.” He dropped his arms and began to pace.
“Was it serious?”
“Very.”
His quick honest answer would’ve stung, but I was too pissed.
“Let me get this straight. You’re behind closed doors with your very serious ex, and I’m supposed to be okay with that?”
“You are blowing this way out of proportion. What? You think I was in here, fucking her? I’m not Jared,” he roared.
I flinched.
He blew out a hard breath and lowered his voice. “She was talking about Dani, and I didn’t want Shayne to overhear.”
“Did you love her?” I had to know, but I was terrified of the answer.
“God, Camryn, do you hear yourself?” He had the balls to act insulted. “I love you, and any love I ever felt for Holly died a long fucking time ago.”
“Really? Then, why do I get the feeling that Dani, even though she was your wife, isn’t the one who really broke you?”
“Because she isn’t.” His confession cut like a knife.
A knock sounded on the door, and Nash walked in. “Are you two about done? Shayne is chomping at the bit.”
“Yeah.”
“No,” Tucker said at the same time.
I folded my arms over my chest.
“This conversation isn’t over,” Tucker growled but not loud enough for anyone besides me and maybe Nash to hear.
I pointed through the doorway and spoke quietly, “That little girl has been looking forward to this all week. Do you want to go out there and tell her it’s not happening?”
He was silent.
“I didn’t think so.” It was my turn to blow out a hard breath. I plastered a smile on my face and walked out of his office. My eyes went to Shayne. “Hey, sweet girl, go give Daddy hugs, so we can go.”
“Yay!” she exclaimed around a mouthful of mints.
“Camryn”—Nash kept his voice low—“I know it looks bad, and there are things you don’t know, but Tucker loves you.”
“Can you handle the car seat, or do you want me to get it?” Tucker asked as he walked out of his office with Shayne on his heels.
I was glad for the interruption because I didn’t want to have to figure out how to respond to Nash’s comment.
“If the truck is unlocked, I’ll handle it.” I didn’t bother meeting Tucker’s gaze.
He tried to close the space between us, but I didn’t give him the chance. It wasn’t something that could be swept under the rug or fixed with a simple apology. I reached for Shayne’s hand and walked out the door.
Less than ten minutes later, Shayne was buckled into her car seat in my car, and we were on our way to St. Charles, a neighboring town but much bigger than Jaxson Cove. Shayne chattered away in the backseat, and I only half-listened. Instead, I replayed the entire conversation with Tucker.
I pulled up to a stoplight and waited for it to turn green.
“Camryn? Hello? Camryn? Are you playing the quiet game?”
“I’m sorry, sweet girl. I was just thinking. Did you need something?” My eyes flitted to the rearview mirror as I made my turn.
“Can we—”
Tires squealed.
Glass shattered.
Screams filled my ears.
The world went black.
34
Camryn
Pain ricocheted through my head as the faint voices around me grew louder. Something soft pressed against my neck, but I couldn’t tell what it was.
Fingers maybe?
I forced my eyes open a crack. Flashing red and blue lights assailed my vision, and I slammed my eyes shut, succumbing to the pounding ache in my skull.
Beep.
Something tightened around my arm, squeezing harder until my hand tingled. There was a clicking noise, followed by a whoosh of air that reminded me of the sound a tire made when the air pressure on the value stem released.
I tried to think, figure out where I was. The last thing I remembered was being in the car with Shayne.
Shayne.
Where is she?
I bolted upright. The room spun, and waves of nausea rolled over me. “Shayne? Shayne!”
“Camryn. Shh. It’s okay.”
A figure loomed in front of me. I blinked away the wetness blurring my vision.
“Nash?” My voice quaked. “Shayne. Where is she? Please tell me she’s okay.”
A woman dressed in scrubs and wearing glasses rushed into the room.
“Take it easy, Camryn. Everything’s going to be okay.” She checked the monitors and typed something into the electronic chart she held in her grasp. “I’m Robin, your nurse. Do you know where you are?”
“A hospital.”
“Do you know why you’re here?”
It all came flooding back. I had been making a protected left turn, and the other car had come out of nowhere.
“Car accident.”
“That’s right. You have a concussion and a few bumps and bruises, so we’re just going to keep you for a little while for observation. Your vitals are good, though your heart rate is a little fast, which is to be expected.”
“Please, the little girl who was in the car with me. Is she okay?” Tears fell down my face.
“Camryn,” Nash spoke.
My eyes darted to him.
“I’ll be right back to check on you,” Robin said and then left the room.
Nash got up and paced at the foot of the bed. The small space prohibited him from making long strides.
“Nash, what are you not telling me?”
“The passenger side of the car sustained the brunt of the impact. Shayne hit her head pretty hard. There’s a little swelling in her brain.”
“No. No. No. I have to get out of here. I need to see her. Where are my clothes?” Each word became more frantic. My fingers dug at the fabric cuff around my arm. I scratched against the Velcro, and when I found purchase, I ripped it off.
“Camryn, stop. Just stop.”
Something in his voice made me settle back onto the bed.
“Tucker is taking care of Shayne. Laura and Macy are with him. You have a concussion. Just chill the hell out.”
“What floor is she on?”
“Cam—”
“Nash,” I bit out. Pain shot up the back of my skull, and I gripped my head in my hands. With my eyes squeezed shut, I sharply inhaled and then used all my strength to pin him with a menacing glare, which hurt like hell, but I wanted to get my point across. “I swear, if you don’t tell me where she is, as soon as I’m released, I’ll march my ass all over every inch of this entire fucking hospital until I find her.”
I knew I wasn’t her mother, but I loved her, and I couldn’t lose her. Or Tucker. I’d just found them. It was going to be okay. All that mattered right now was Shayne.
“Here I thought, Macy was the most stubborn woman I’d ever met.” He let out an exasperated sigh. “Fourth floor.”
Six hours later, with my walking papers signed and Nash’s promise that I wouldn’t be driving home, I was free to go.
“Camryn”—there was a softness in the way he said my name as we left the emergency room area—“let me take yo
u home, or I can take you to Macy’s. Somebody should stay with you tonight.”
Tone low and fierce, I told him, “I’m not leaving. I have to see Shayne. I need to make sure Tucker is okay.” Instead of heading to the exit, I ambled toward the bank of elevators.
The fingers of Nash’s free hand wrapped around my elbow, halting my steps. “He needs time.”
That was when I knew. “He blames me.” My watery gaze met Nash’s eyes.
He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to because his silence confirmed the truth.
“I love them, Nash. And, even if Tucker hates me, I can’t walk out on them. If he do-does”—my voice cracked—“doesn’t want me here.” Tears streamed down my face. “He’ll have to throw me out.” I shrugged from his grip and continued to my destination.
Reflective silver doors distorted my image like mirrors at a carnival fun house as I stood in front of them, a squatty light-blue smear. Robin, the nurse, had found a pair of scrubs for me. My clothes had been covered in the tiniest shards of glass from the shattered windshield, so I couldn’t wear them. I was glad I couldn’t see what I really looked like. Between pain meds, adrenaline, and soul-consuming worry, I couldn’t feel more than a headache.
With my index finger, I pressed the up arrow several times.
“You know, you only need to do that once.” Nash’s voice came from beside me. “People always push it repeatedly, and it doesn’t make it get here any sooner.”
“What are you doing?”
The doors slid open, and we stepped inside.
He held up a plastic bag that contained my belongings.
“Oh,” I said and reached to take it from him.
He switched the bag to his other hand. “I’ve got it.”
“Nash, what are you doing?” I repeated, thankful we were alone in the elevator.
“You need a friend,” he remarked simply.
We exited onto the fourth floor, and I followed Nash down the corridor until he came to a stop in the doorway of a waiting room.
“Room four thirteen.” He pointed the way. “I’ll be waiting.”
“Thanks.”
My feet shuffled down the hall toward Shayne’s room as though boulders had been strapped to my ankles. Out of every emotion that warred for ground, the one that won out was fear.
Is Shayne going to make it?
Will she be okay?
Does Tucker hate me?
The only thing greater than all my fears was the love and concern for the well-being of a little girl who had smiled and sassed her way into my heart.
When you looked at the big picture, Tucker and Shayne hadn’t been in my life long. Months was a far cry from years. But love was a powerful and strange thing. There was no rhyme or reason. Love just was. It could take people months or sometimes even years to grasp what their soul had known in seconds.
The day my car wouldn’t start and Shayne had told her dad I was a witch, it was a done deal. I loved that little girl with my whole heart. She had to be okay.
I mustered the last of my strength as I stopped in front of the door to Shayne’s room and eased it open. Light filtered into the dark space, illuminating the small lump in the middle of the hospital bed.
35
Tucker
There was no sense of time as I sat in the darkness. Eyes fluctuating between the glow of the monitor screens a foot away and the tiny being they were connected to. Age-old guilt sat in the center of my chest, nearly crushing me beneath the weight. To think there was a time I’d resented my daughter churned like acid in my gut.
The first time I’d held Bug in my arms, something had shifted inside me.
Loss after loss, I’d fought until I came out the other side because Shayne needed me.
But if I lose her …
I pressed the pads of my thumbs against my eyelids, pushing back the wetness.
Rage burned just below the surface. She had done this. This was Camryn’s fault.
Light filtered into the room, and then just as quickly, it was dark again. My eyes had long since adjusted, which gave me the advantage. Heavy, laden steps inched across the tiled floor. I knew it was her without even turning around.
She came to a stop at the foot of the bed. Her hand covered her mouth, and when she shook her head back and forth, I caught the dampness that shone on her cheeks. She was crying.
Well, isn’t that fucking rich?
I crossed my arms. “Leave.”
Seemingly unaware of my presence, she jolted. “I’m sorry, Tucker.” The apology was thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”
The sight of her made me sick. “Sorry?” I laughed humorlessly. “You’re sorry?”
She leaned forward, stretching out her hand to touch the form beneath the blanket.
I rose from my chair so fast, it skidded back a few inches. The loud noise bounced off the walls. I shoved Camryn’s wrist before it made contact.
“Don’t touch her.” The words came out in a low growl, and she recoiled.
“Tucker.”
“She’s lying there because of you.”
“It was an accident.”
“Was it?” I ignored the tears that flowed endlessly from her eyes. I was too angry with her to care. “Were you focused on the road or too fucking jealous to see straight?”
The hold on my temper was slipping. For every step I took forward, she stepped back.
Until she didn’t have anywhere left to go and she was backed against the bathroom door.
“Tucker, please. I’m so sorry.”
I dropped my voice into a low, harsh whisper. “This,” I pointed to the bed where Shayne lay but didn’t take my eyes from hers as I spoke, “is your fault.” Tears leaked from the corners of my own eyes as I struggled to get the words out. “Sh-she—fuck.” I exhaled sharply and forced the words out. “She is all I have left of them. And, if she isn’t okay, I will never forgive you.”
Her eyes bored into me. I ignored the devastation in their depths. Disregarded the questions I saw in those pools of blue.
Delicate hands fisted my shirt. Sobs racked her body.
The same body I’d once seen as a sanctuary was now the reason for my pain.
I removed her hands from my chest. “Get out.”
I took a step away, but she didn’t move.
I wanted to scream at her. Use my words to break her. To unleash every ounce of madness and hurt. If I did that, I would be running the risk of being thrown out of the hospital. I reeled in the last of my control. I didn’t want to get thrown out of the hospital.
Quiet but forceful, I spoke, “So, help me God, if you don’t leave, I will have you escorted out.”
Just then, the door opened, and Nash walked inside.
I fixed my eyes on him but pointed to Camryn. “Get her the fuck out of my sight.”
“It was an accident, Tuck. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“Really? Both of you, get out.” I strode over to the chair, moved it closer to Shayne’s bed, and took a seat.
Nash shook his head. “You’re going to regret this, brother.” He put an arm around Camryn and ushered her from the room.
As I sat in the darkness, my anger evaporated, and grief took its place. For the very first time in six years, I mourned all that I’d lost. I wept for my brother who never had the chance to be a father. For Dani, my best friend, who had lost the only man she ever loved while carrying their child. One she never had the chance to raise because, as strong as she had been, in the end, cancer had been stronger.
The words Nash had said when he walked out the door were true, but I couldn’t think about Camryn right now or what I might regret later. Shayne was all I saw, and she had to be okay. Because I couldn’t deal with the alternative.
I wiped the wetness from my face and leaned over to place a hand on my sleeping daughter. That was right.
My daughter.
She was mine. Legally and in every way that really mattered.
“
You’re okay, Bug. Daddy’s here,” I whispered into the stillness. Over and over again with my head against the mattress and her hand in my grasp.
Six years’ worth of silent tears rolled across my nose and onto the blanket.
“You’re okay. Daddy’s here.” With the words still on my lips, I fell asleep.
36
Camryn
The pounding in my head intensified. I held my head in between the heels of my palms and applied pressure to counteract the ache. On a deep inhale, I peeled open my eyes and immediately regretted it. Pain shot through my head as the stream of daylight burst against my pupils.
“Oh God.” On a groan, I lifted my head and tried not to throw up. My eyes slowly traveled over the space.
I was in my living room on the couch, and Nash was passed out in the chair.
Nash?
Something was off. I glanced down and saw the blue scrubs I was wearing. Every part of my body ached like I’d been hit by a truck.
Memories of the last several hours flooded back. The accident. Shayne.
“Nash. Nash!” The shrill of my own voice brought on a new wave of agony.
He jumped up. “What? What is it?”
“Shayne.”
“Camryn, calm down. It’s still early. The doctors probably haven’t even made their rounds yet.”
Overwhelmed by sadness and fear, I began to cry.
“Shit. Don’t cry. I’ll check my phone.”
I watched as he fished it from his back pocket, unlocked the screen, and scrolled.
When he looked up, the answer was written all over his face. “She hasn’t woken up yet.”
Nausea washed over me. As painful as it was, I scrambled from the couch to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach.
Several minutes later, Macy appeared in the doorway.
“Hey, Rocky.”