by K. Street
My head lay on the crook of my arm that was draped over the toilet seat. “When did you get here?”
“A few minutes ago. You look like shit. Let’s get you to bed. Can you help me, or do I need to get Nash?”
“I can do it.” My head spun like a merry-go-round when I tried to get up, and I crumbled to the floor.
“Nash,” Macy hollered, and I groaned. “Sorry,” she apologized. When Nash appeared at the door, Macy asked, “Will you help me get her to her room?”
“Sure.” Nash bent down and carefully scooped me into his arms. He carried me into my room and gently set me on my bed.
Then, they talked about me like I wasn’t in the room.
“Maybe she needs to go back to the hospital? You said she has a concussion. Throwing up can’t be good.”
“I’m not sure when she ate last, and Tucker was an asshole last night. Maybe it’s related.”
Slowly, I curled into the fetal position. “He hates me.” My voice was so small.
“Camryn …” Macy trailed off.
“It’s true,” I said matter-of-factly. “I don’t blame him. It’s my fault. I just want Shayne to be okay.”
“She’ll be fine.” There wasn’t a trace of doubt in Nash’s voice, and I clung to it like a beacon of hope.
Tucker’s words from last night came back to me.
“She is all I have left of them.”
Them.
Those four little letters wreaked havoc on my brain. I tried to make sense of them and couldn’t. Sleep pulled me under again. Unable to keep my eyes open any longer, I gave up the fight.
The next time I came to, I heard the low rumble of voices from the other room. My headache was better, but the rest of my body ached. With careful movements, I got out of bed and made my way to my bedroom door. I twisted the knob and ambled toward the sound of voices.
Nash and Grayson sat at my kitchen island, and Macy was nowhere in sight.
Grayson?
Maybe I should ask Nash to drive me back to the hospital.
I shuffled into the kitchen. “Grayson?” I asked in disbelief.
“There’s my girl.” He came over and gave me the gentlest hug. Then, he stood protectively at my side.
“Okay, so you two do know each other,” Nash said and slid from his stool. He crossed the space separating us.
A look passed between the two men, and Nash held up his hands. “Look, man, there was no fucking way I was leaving you alone with her without verification.”
Grayson offered his hand to Nash. “I respect the hell out of you for that, man.”
They shook hands, and then Nash turned his focus to me. He put a hand on each of my upper arms, as if to hold me upright. “Tucker called. Shayne’s okay.”
“What? She is?” I smiled through my tears. “Oh my God. Is she okay? I mean, really okay?”
“She’s already asking for ice cream.” He chuckled. “She’s fine.”
“Oh my God.” I fell into Nash’s chest and wept from sheer relief.
After a few minutes, Nash passed me off to Grayson. “Since you’re in good hands, I’m going to head out.”
“Are you going to the hospital? Let me grab my—”
“I can’t,” Nash cut off my words. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Camryn. He doesn’t want to see you.”
“Right. Will you tell her …” It took extreme effort to push past the thick emotion that clogged my throat. “T-tell her t-that I love her, and can you t-tell t-them b-both t-that I’m s-so-sorry?”
“I will. I promise.” His gaze slid to Grayson and then back to me. “Give him some time, Camryn. He loves you, and he’ll come around. Don’t give up on him.”
Nash sauntered to the front door, and I called out to him, “Hey.”
He twisted to face me with his brow raised.
“Tucker said something last night, and it doesn’t make sense.”
“What’s that?”
“He said, Shayne was all he had left of them,” I emphasized the word. “What does that mean? Who is them?”
Nash’s eyes grew wide as saucers. He muttered something under his breath that I couldn’t quite make out. “It’s not my story to tell. Macy will check on you later.”
And, with that, he walked out the door.
The picture. The six of them. Griffin and Dani. Tucker and Holly. Nash and Macy.
Them.
Like puzzle pieces locking into place, it all became so clear.
37
Tucker
Shayne had been unconscious at the scene, and the CT scan had shown she had a mild brain contusion as well as other bruises and a few scrapes. They’d given her pain meds, and all she’d done was sleep.
The worry drove me to the edge of sanity.
I ran my hands through my hair and paced the same ten squares of gleaming white tiles. When I grew tired of doing that, I stood in front of the window. The streets below were bustling with cars as the world carried on beyond the thick glass. Everyone else was going on with their lives while I had been dropped into my worst nightmare.
“Daddy?”
I whirled around to see hazel eyes, the same shade as mine and Griffin’s, staring up at me. It’d been hours since I saw those eyes. I couldn’t get to her side fast enough.
“Doodlebug. You’re awake.” I mashed the call button for the nurse.
“Hi, Daddy.”
Relief welled up inside me and ran down my cheeks. “Hi, Bug.”
Her lip trembled.
Shit.
I needed to pull it together. I was probably scaring her to death. “It’s okay, baby.”
“Are we in the hospital?”
“Yes. But you’re okay,” I rushed to add.
The nurse—I thought her name was Elizabeth—strolled over to the bed. “Hey, Miss Shayne. Did you have a nice nap?”
“I guess so.”
“See this finger?” Elizabeth asked, and Shayne nodded. “Okay. I want you to look at my finger and follow it with your eyes.”
She did as the nurse had asked.
“Good job. I bet I have some stickers at the nurses’ station. Would you like me to bring you one?”
Shayne smiled sweetly. “Do you have ice cream at the nurses’ station?”
Elizabeth and I both laughed.
“I’ll see what I can do,” she said, typing something into Shayne’s electronic chart before she left the room.
“Daddy, is Camryn okay?”
Fuck.
The question twisted like a knife in my gut.
What am I supposed to tell her? Why isn’t this shit covered in all those damn baby books?
Her eyes filled with tears. “I want Camryn. Where is she?” Shayne’s bottom lip jutted out, and fat tears rolled down her sweet face.
Camryn isn’t here because I threw her out. I said horrible things to her, and I blamed her for something that wasn’t her fault.
I wiped her tears with my thumb. “Don’t cry, Bug. How about I call Uncle Nash and see if he can bring Wilbur up here? Would you like that?”
“Okay.” She sniffed.
A few minutes later, Elizabeth returned with Shayne’s ice cream the same time my mom came in with two coffees. I’d never been so glad to have reinforcement. With a promise to Shayne that I’d be right back, I stepped from the room to call Nash.
38
Camryn
Six days had passed since the accident. Tucker had made it perfectly clear the night in the hospital that we were done. I knew he didn’t want to see me, so Nash and Macy kept me in the loop about Shayne. My body was recovering, but I doubted my heart ever would. I missed Tucker like crazy, even after everything he’d said. It didn’t matter how much he blamed me because it would never equate to how much I blamed myself.
I played the accident on a constant loop in my head. I was plagued with vivid nightmares where all those different what-if scenarios came to life.
Shayne trapped in a burning car. Tucker’s and Holly’s f
aces screaming at me that it was my fault.
Shayne covered in shattered glass, begging me to help her.
The images lingered in my mind long after I woke up.
Shayne was supposed to come home today. More than anything, I yearned to see her with my own eyes. To wrap her in my arms and hold on to her for dear life. I needed proof that she was okay and that she didn’t hate me. As badly as I wanted it, I knew Tucker probably wouldn’t let it happen, and I didn’t get a say in the matter.
I didn’t know what I would’ve done without Grayson to keep my mind off things. He’d entertained me with tales from his travels and made me laugh even in the shittiest of circumstances. A few days ago, he had taken me car shopping. It had taken an entire day, but I’d found something newer that I could afford, and it was a lot more reliable than Lucille had been. She was just a car. A hunk of metal that could be replaced, but it was also one less piece I had of my dad.
Before Grayson had left yesterday, he’d invited me to go with him to South Carolina for the holidays to visit his family. As much as I’d appreciated the invite, I’d make miserable company. Instead, I decided to get out of town for a few days. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I couldn’t be here. Not when Tucker didn’t want me. Not after everything he said to me.
I wheeled my suitcase into the living room, put my purse over my shoulder, and grabbed my keys. I locked the door behind me and kept my eyes trained on the ground until I heard that sweet voice.
“Camryn!” she yelled with her arms wide open while she ran toward me.
Oh my God. She was here, and she wanted me. I dropped my purse and keys onto the driveway and caught her. The second her arms wrapped around my neck, she burst into tears, and I carefully lowered us to the ground.
She hugged me so tight; her small arms were like a vise.
I rocked her in my arms and stroked her hair. “Shh. Don’t cry, sweet girl. It’s okay.” It felt so good to hold her. The roller coaster of emotions peaked, and salty rivers poured from my face.
“You did-didn’t c-come to see me at the h-hospital,” she wailed.
Tucker’s form blurred before me while a sob ripped from my throat. I wanted to scream at him. To rage against him and tell him how fucking wrong this was. And that I would never forgive him.
How could he do this?
To her?
To us?
“I’m sorry, kiddo. I’m so sorry.”
I tried to adjust her body, so I could look at her, but she wouldn’t let go.
“Daddy said you were okay. But you n-never c-came.”
“Shayne, it’s okay. I’m sorry, baby girl.”
I wanted to throw Tucker under the bus. Tell this broken little girl that her daddy wouldn’t let me come to the hospital because he didn’t want to see me.
She lifted her head to look at me. “I t-thought y-you did-didn’t w-wa-want—” She was sobbing so hard, she could hardly breathe. “I thought you did-didn’t want me any-anymore.”
I laid her head on my shoulder and rested my cheek on top. Then, I cried harder than I’d ever cried in my life.
I no longer wanted to scream at Tucker. I wanted to kick his ass.
He knelt beside us. “Bug, come on,” he said gently.
She moved her head to my other shoulder, away from her father, and tightened her grip.
I glared at him through the most epic ugly cry in history. Then, I pointed to Shayne and mouthed, This is your fault.
He didn’t respond. He didn’t have to because, from the look on his face, it was the truth.
Slowly, I rose to my feet, careful not to drop Shayne.
“No. Hold me. Please, Camryn.”
This kid was breaking all the parts of me that had already been broken. “I’ve got you. Shh. It’s okay.”
She needed to be held, and she was exhausted. I couldn’t handle Tucker being in my space, and besides, he was the one with a rocking chair.
I jerked my head in the direction of his house. “Go open your door.”
Tucker wasn’t the kind of man who took orders from anyone, but I had zero fucks to give.
He collected my things and led the way to his house.
39
Tucker
I opened the door and stepped out of the way to allow Camryn to pass. Shayne was still clinging to her like a second skin, but at least she’d calmed down a little.
Camryn made herself comfortable in my recliner and began to rock Bug. “Hey, sweet girl,” she murmured. “Do you want to know a secret?”
Shayne nodded against Camryn’s chest.
“Can you look at me?” Camryn waited for Shayne’s red-rimmed eyes to meet hers. “I love you. Do you know that?”
“Y-yes.”
“You are my very best friend, and I will never, ever not want you. Okay?”
“Okay.” Shayne let out a yawn. “I’m so sleepy.”
The kid had been through a lot recently, and after that, I was sure it was normal.
“Want me to rock you?”
“Yes. Will you be here when I wake up?”
I watched their exchange, feeling like a voyeur in my own house, but I had to know.
Shame and guilt had been my constant companions. I wanted to fix what I had broken. The sight of them as they’d sat in the driveway, clinging to each other, slayed me. Watching them now tore at the shreds of my heart. Camryn had every right to never speak to me again. Instead of pulling her close, I’d pushed her away like she hadn’t meant anything to me.
As if she could read my mind, Camryn looked at me, and the pain I saw in her blue eyes was tangible. She didn’t answer Shayne’s question. Instead, she said, “How about you close your eyes for a little bit? Do you want your dad to grab you a blanket?”
She made a fist and then rubbed her eye. “Will you, Daddy? And Wilbur, too.”
I went into Shayne’s bedroom and grabbed everything she’d asked for. I took it back to the living room. While Camryn rocked my daughter, she hummed softly, and within less than ten minutes, Bug was snoring quietly in her arms. After a few more minutes, when Camryn was certain Shayne was sound asleep, she managed to get up from the chair and carry her into her bedroom. She settled the blanket over her and dropped a kiss to her forehead before exiting the room.
I was on her heels as she made it to my front door.
“Can we talk?”
“No. Whatever it is, I don’t want to hear it,” she cried. “How could you, Tucker? If you wanted to hurt me, congratulations. You’ve succeeded. By keeping me away”—she angrily swatted at her tears—“you let her believe that I abandoned her. That I didn’t want her. I’m so fucking angry with you for that. I wanted to be there, but you didn’t want me. There isn’t a thing you can say to justify what you did.”
“So, that’s it?”
Camryn twisted the knob, opened the door, and stepped onto the porch. “You said you were done, remember?”
“Damn it, Camryn. I was scared to death, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry.”
She spun on her heels and glowered at me. “So am I, Tucker. I’m sorry I let myself believe you were different. I’m sorry that I let you in. Most of all, I’m so fucking sorry I ever fell in love with you.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“You’re right,” she sobbed. “I don’t, and I’m sorry about that most of all. Because there isn’t anything I wouldn’t give right now to hate you.” She grabbed her stuff, gave me her back, and walked away.
40
Camryn
By the time I crossed the lawn between our houses, my vision was so blurry, I could barely make out the ground in front of me. I unlocked my front door and went inside. After I closed the door behind me, and dropped my stuff in the living room, I toed off my shoes and headed to my bedroom. I sank down onto my mattress, curled into a ball, and cried myself to sleep.
Hours later, after a hot bath and a bottle of wine, I sent Tucker a text.
Me: Ho
w is she?
Tucker: She ate half of a grilled cheese, and she’s watching Beauty and the Beast. Want to come over?
Me: No.
Emotionally spent and too tipsy and tired to go anywhere, I decided to wait until tomorrow to leave.
I awoke to someone knocking on the front door. Unless it was someone holding a million-dollar sweepstakes cardboard check, I was about to be arrested for murder.
With a scowl affixed to my face, I unlocked the door and swung it open. “Hel—”
Nobody was there. A split second before a string of curses left my lips, I heard giggling.
“Down here, silly.” Shayne snickered. “Do you want to go out to breakfast with us?”
Tucker appeared behind her, arms folded and sexy grin plastered on his perfect face. My eyes trailed across his thick veins of his forearms, and my tongue darted out to lick my lips.
Asshole. He knows exactly what he is doing.
I glared at him with a look that said, You don’t play fair.
Mirth danced in his eyes, and he shrugged.
“Please,” Shayne said and thrust out her bottom lip.
I put my index finger to her lip and flicked downward. “You know, one of these days, that isn’t going to work, right?”
“It is not this day,” she retorted.
Tucker roared with laughter.
I ruffled Shayne’s hair. “Oh my God, you really are too much.” I laughed. “Give me five minutes to get dressed.”
I stepped out of the way and allowed them inside. I went to change.
Before I was out of earshot, I heard Shayne say, “See, Daddy? It really is a superpower.”
Laura met us at Pancake Palace for breakfast. The situation could’ve been awkward, but it wasn’t—at least, not until I realized I’d been played. After we ate, Laura took Shayne back to her house under the guise of decorating the Christmas tree, leaving Tucker and me alone together.