Everything I Never Wanted

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Everything I Never Wanted Page 20

by K. Street


  I was such an idiot. I should’ve driven myself.

  “I just want to talk,” Tucker said from his spot across the booth.

  I stared out the large picture window. “So, talk.”

  “Not here. Let’s go for a drive.”

  “I need to be home in an hour.”

  “Okay.”

  Tension filled the cab of his truck as we drove out to the beach. There was a nip in the air from the ocean breeze. When we got out of the truck, Tucker wrapped a small throw blanket over my shoulders, and I fought the urge to lean into his touch.

  The beach was mostly deserted, except for a few stragglers. We walked for a few minutes, and then Tucker broke the silence.

  “When I was younger, I couldn’t get out of Jaxson Cove fast enough. Holly was a free spirit, and we were high school sweethearts. After we graduated, with a little money in our pockets, we left.”

  “Who ran the garage?”

  “Between my mom and a few longtime employees, the garage practically ran itself.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “When I got the call about Griff …” He cleared his throat.

  I knew this wasn’t easy for him, and the need to comfort him in some small way was too strong to deny. So, I linked my arm through his and curved my fingers over his bicep.

  “When I got the call,” he repeated, “we took the first flight home. Mom was a mess, and Dani was three and a half months pregnant. After a few weeks, Holly wanted her life back, but I couldn’t leave. Everything and everyone around me was falling apart, and I had to fix it.”

  “Tucker, I’m so sorry.”

  “Every chance Holly had, she told me how much she hated it here. When I refused to go with her, she left.”

  “What a bitch!” I regretted it instantly. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It’s the fucking truth.”

  “We found out about Dani’s cancer as her pregnancy progressed. She refused treatment because she didn’t want to lose the baby. Next to Griffin, Dani was my best friend in the entire world. I promised her I’d take care of her and the baby.”

  Tears stung my eyes. This man was shattering my resolve with every word that fell from his lips.

  “Do you want to sit?” Tucker pointed his finger toward the pier about twenty feet away.

  “Sure.”

  He was quiet until we were situated on the edge of the dock. When he slipped an arm around me and brought me into his side, I let him. I knew deep in my gut that he needed this to be able to get through the rest of his story.

  “One night, it all got to be too much, and I called Holly … asked her to come home.” He moved his arm from around me, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, and stared into the water. “I was terrified. The longer Dani put off treatment, the more likely it was that she wouldn’t make it. I didn’t know shit about raising a kid. And my mom was a basket case. Do you want to know what Holly said?”

  It was a rhetorical question, so I didn’t answer.

  “She said she had just started a new job at a dance club in Vegas, and it wasn’t a good time.”

  White-hot rage clouded the edge of my vision, and if that selfish, prissy little bitch were standing in front of me, I’d shove her ass off the edge of the pier into the ocean below.

  “Was she always like that? God, she sounds like a wretched person.”

  “She is. That’s another reason my office door was closed that day. I couldn’t subject Bug to that.”

  “Tucker …”

  “I know. I just needed to say it.” He absently picked at a loose thread on his jeans. “Anyway, Dani didn’t have family, and she needed a support system. When she was eight months pregnant, we got married. My name is on Shayne’s birth certificate.” A sad smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Griffin’s middle name was Shane. Dani just spelled it differently.”

  I didn’t even know what to say.

  He turned his torso toward me and took my hands in his. “I resented my brother for a long time—and not just him, but Shayne, too.” Shame blanketed his features. “Between the endless nights of taking care of Dani, trying to keep my mom from swallowing a bottle of pills, and running the garage, I was barely hanging on. There was nobody for me to lean on, and I resented having to raise a kid I’d never asked for on top of it all.” His eyes shone, and I pulled my hands from his grasp to wrap him in a hug.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you.” He pressed his lips against my head.

  “Tucker …”

  He leaned away and met my gaze. “Camryn, what I said to you is unforgivable. I was so consumed with my own demons, and I took all of it out on you.”

  “I need a little time to process all of this.”

  He stood and then held out his hand to pull me to my feet, and he didn’t let it go. We walked hand in hand over the wooden slats.

  Once we were on the sand, he cupped my cheeks and caught my gaze. “I know you need time, but I’m not going down without a fight. I love you, and I’m not going to lose you.”

  41

  Camryn

  It had been over a month since Tucker poured his heart out on the beach. We spent endless hours just talking nearly every night after Shayne went to sleep. Each day, he would give me little pieces of himself, and I would try to do the same in return. When I tumbled too close to the edge and tried to pull away, there he was, fighting for me. I had accepted his apology that day on the dock, but I hadn’t been able to truly forgive him—until now.

  Laura was keeping Shayne for the weekend, and Tucker would be here in twenty minutes. The wine was uncorked, dinner was in the oven, and I just needed to make a salad to go with it.

  While I waited for Tucker, I poured myself a glass of wine, pulled up my playlist, and got to work on gathering ingredients for a Greek salad. It didn’t take long to throw it together. As I bent to put it in the fridge, I felt Tucker’s presence behind me.

  I turned and found him leaning against the wall with hunger in his eyes and a smirk on his lips.

  He crossed the space between us and drew me into his embrace. “I missed you, baby.”

  I snuggled into him and let his words wash over me.

  With a finger hooked under my chin, he tilted my head and ghosted a kiss across my lips. I melted into him, seeking more of his touch. A hand went to the back of my neck, and he dived his tongue inside my mouth. My body blazed with need, his kiss consuming me from the inside out. I slid my hands beneath his shirt and moaned when the heat of his chest met my palms.

  Tucker lifted me into his arms without breaking the seal of our lips. He kissed me until I was near breathless.

  “Baby?”

  We hadn’t had sex in a while. Since before the accident. He was asking permission, and there was no way I could deny him. Deny myself any longer.

  “Yes.”

  With that single word, he carried me into the bedroom and laid me down on the bed. He tugged off his shirt and toed off his shoes but left his jeans on.

  The intense way he looked at my body made me want to hide beneath the covers.

  “I never want you to hide from me, Camryn,” he said, reading my thoughts. “You’re stunning, and I like my shirt on you.” He smirked. He knelt on the end of the bed, grabbed the backs of my thighs, and tugged me closer. “Of course, I think you’d look even better out of it.”

  He started at the bottom, undoing the buttons one by one. The shirt lay open, my bare breasts exposed. Tucker dipped his head and lavished each of my pebbled nipples with attention. Every swirl of his tongue heated my skin.

  I moaned his name.

  “I need to hear you say it.”

  All my defenses were down. “Make love to me.”

  With that, he stripped out of his jeans faster than a man of his size should be able to. I freed myself from the confines of his shirt and glided my panties down my legs.

  He slipped a finger inside me. “So wet, baby.”

 
After he licked my taste from his finger, he crawled up my body and reached into the nightstand for a foil packet. He sheathed his cock, positioned himself at my entrance and eased inside inch by glorious inch.

  From the way he moved his body, I knew he wanted to make it last. He stared down at me with a love so deep and intense that I couldn’t look away. We used our bodies to speak the words we didn’t know how to form.

  I bucked into him, and he began to move faster. My legs locked around his lower back. The change in position sent him deeper.

  I wiggled a hand between us and began to rub circles. “Yes. Oh God, Tucker.”

  I barreled toward my climax, and I cried out his name as I soared over the edge.

  Tucker growled out his own release, and then he pulled me into his arms before collapsing next to me. He shifted my hair off my face. “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you, too, and I trust you with my heart.”

  He was quiet for several beats before he spoke again, “Camryn?” His warm breath danced over my skin.

  “Yes?” I whispered.

  “I’m keeping you.”

  The conviction in his words soothed all the cracks in my soul.

  Epilogue

  Shayne - Six Months Later

  “Is it time for cake yet?”

  “Presents first, Bug,” Daddy said.

  “Can I give Camryn my present first?”

  “How about we save it for last?” Grammy suggested.

  “Okay.” I sat down at the table beside Camryn and stared at the birthday cake.

  “Here you go, baby.” My dad gave a tall, cylinder shaped gift to her.

  I watched her tear off the paper and open the top. She turned it upside down, and papers slid out. Giant, rolled-up sheets of paper with a bunch of blue lines and squares on them. The page on top looked like a drawing of a house. Then, Camryn started to cry. I would’ve cried, too. Because let’s face it; nobody wanted a tube full of papers for their birthday.

  Camryn wiped her eyes and reached into her purse. “Here, this is for you.”

  She gave the present to Daddy, which didn’t make any sense because he’d already had a birthday. He opened it up, and inside was a rectangular plastic stick with a little window and two pink lines on it.

  Now, Daddy looked like he was going to cry. “Yeah?”

  “Yep.”

  Daddy picked her up and twirled her around. “Oh shit,” he said and set her back down.

  I held my hand out for a quarter. If these two kept it up, I’d have a car by the time I was ten. I really wanted cake, so I decided to hurry things along. “Here you go.” I gave Camryn a pretty package that I’d wrapped myself. I waited not-so patiently while she opened the fuzzy box.

  She held up the necklace and started to cry.

  Good grief.

  “Look”—I pointed to the words—“it says Mama and has the number two for Mama squared. I already had a mommy, but in two more sleeps, you’re going to be my second mommy. Why are you crying? Don’t you like it?”

  “I love it, sweet girl. These are happy tears.”

  “Happy tears? That must be something only grown-ups do. Can we have cake now?”

  Epilogue

  Tucker - Two Years Later

  My heart was full as I took in my family from the spot where I stood on the back porch. I lived for moments like this. Cold beer in my hand, the sound of my children’s laughter in my ears, and the sight of my beautiful wife in her element.

  I watched Camryn gently push our son, Levi, in the plastic toddler swing while Bug swung beside them. She pumped her legs higher and higher, and I swore, she was going to catapult herself over the top bar of the damn swing set.

  At seven years old, Shayne looked more like her mother every day. I saw a lot of Griffin in her, too. Griff and I’d looked a lot alike, but she had some of his mannerisms.

  Most people in Jaxson Cove assumed Dani and I had sought solace in each other’s arms when Griffin died, and Shayne had been a result of that. The truth was, from the moment Griffin and Dani had laid eyes on each other when we were kids, they’d belonged to one another. Dani might have been my wife, but it was only ever on paper. Her last request was that, when the time was right, I’d tell Shayne the truth. That was a secret only those closest to me knew and one I intended to take to my grave because no good would come from it.

  “Mama?”

  Shayne’s voice pulled me from my thoughts.

  Camryn smiled at our daughter. “Yes, sweet girl?”

  “How much money do you think storm chasers make?”

  Camryn looked thoughtful. “I’m not really sure, but we can Google it.”

  “I mean, I’m holding out for Jim Cantore’s job, but I might need a plan B.”

  Unable to contain my laughter, a loud chuckle escaped, and I gave myself away.

  “Dad’s home,” Shayne screeched, jumped off the swing, and raced in my direction.

  I set my now-empty beer bottle down, met her at the bottom of the steps, and opened my arms. “Hey, Doodlebug. How was your day?”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a squeeze. “Amazing. We made tornadoes in a bottle in science class today.” She kissed my cheek and then said, “I’m thirsty. I’ll be right back.”

  She went inside, and I walked toward Camryn.

  “I swear, one of these days, she’s going to break a bone,” she said as I approached. “Maybe two, given the way she jumps off that swing.”

  I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind and hugged her to me. I moved her hair to the side and nuzzled the sensitive spot just below her earlobe. “I missed you, baby.”

  She leaned her head back onto my shoulder. “I missed you, too.” After a few beats, she looked down at Levi, who had fallen asleep in the swing. “I guess we’d better go inside, so I can start dinner.”

  I turned her around in my arms and tilted her face, so I could kiss her. It’d been hours since my mouth was on hers. I needed to taste her sweetness. I swept my lips over hers before nipping her bottom lip and gently tugging it between my teeth. My hand went to her nape as I dived inside her mouth. I slid my tongue against hers, stoking the flame that always burned white-hot between us. It took all the restraint I possessed not to strip her bare and carry her to the hammock, which sat mere feet away. The grip on my control slipped further away, and I broke the kiss before I did just that.

  “Tucker.”

  I loved the sound of my name on her lips.

  My gaze locked with hers. “Tonight, we’ll put the kids down early, and then I’m going to spend hours with my face between your legs.” My thumb skated over her cheek, and I leaned in closer. “And, after I’ve made you scream my name”—I dragged the pad of that same thumb over her bottom lip—“multiple times, I’m going to bury myself inside you and make love to you until the sun comes up.”

  “Promise?” She wove her fingers into my hair and tugged my mouth to hers.

  “Promise,” I vowed against her lips.

  “Okay.” She stepped out of my arms and started to reach for Levi before I stopped her.

  “I’ve got him, baby. Go pour yourself a glass of wine and take a hot bath. I’ll handle dinner.”

  “Really? Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” I swatted her backside. “Now, get.”

  She laughed, stood on her tiptoes, and planted a chaste kiss on my mouth. Then, she turned toward the house. “Tucker”—she faced me but walked backward—“make sure to tell them to hold the black olives.” Her tinkling giggle hit my ears. She knew me too well.

  After Camryn went inside, I pulled out my phone and placed the pizza delivery order. Then, I turned my attention to my son. His black hair lifted slightly in the breeze as I continued to keep the swing in motion with the press of my fingers.

  Peace and contentment washed over me as I took it all in. I had the house, the family, and, hell, I even had the white picket fence because I couldn’t say no to my wife.


  Levi started to fuss, and I lifted him out of the confines of the swing. “Shh, buddy. Daddy’s here. I’ve got you,” I soothed as I held him against my chest and rubbed circles on his back, the same way I had done with his big sister all those years ago.

  Everything I thought I’d never wanted ended up being the very thing I could never live without.

  Acknowledgments

  To God—The first portion.

  To my readers—Without you, none of this would even be possible. Thank you for reading my words, sending me messages, and writing reviews. I appreciate each and every one of you.

  To all the bloggers—Thank you so much for all the posts you’ve shared and how tirelessly you work on behalf of authors. I see you, I appreciate you, and I’m thankful for you.

  Mr. Street, I love that you embrace my crazy. I love that you still look at me the way Prince Harry looks at Meghan, even when my shirt is covered in cheddar dust and I haven’t showered in three days. Thank you for the way you love me. You are my happily ever after. I will love you until I breathe my last breath, and even then, I’ll love you still. My cup runneth over. P.S. Still Arby’s. You really should just admit I’m right.

  Sunshine Girl, the third time is not a charm, and you can’t read this book either, except for this part. There is so much of your personality in Shayne’s character. You always wanted one more chapter, and I thought I was so cool, teaching you those big words—until you told me I was exasperating you … and you were only two. I was a little too proud to be offended. There is nothing in this world I love more than being your mom. I’m so proud of you. I love you, Baby Bear, to the moon and back again, plus all the stars in the sky.

  Mom, thank you for being one of my biggest cheerleaders. I love that you’re so proud of me, but I’m not sure random strangers appreciate your enthusiasm. I’m certain the lady in the checkout line just wanted to pay for her milk and leave.

  Tracy, sister dear, not much has changed since we were kids. Back then, I forced you to listen to my stories, and now, I make you read them. As far as sisters go, I could’ve done worse, and you couldn’t have done better.

 

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