“Aggie. Stop. Just wait,” Liam called after her but she ignored him and started to run.
Tears of anger streamed down her face. Sure, she’d frozen for a second but she’d quickly regained her composure and been ready to deck the guy. She’d already made the first move and was about to follow up with a blow that would’ve landed him on his ass. But that wasn’t the issue here. It was what Liam had said about her making decisions and how she couldn’t do it on her own. She’d known deep down that one day he’d come out with something that would break her heart. She hadn’t expected it to be this though. That was the reason she’d tried to hold off building a relationship with him but he wouldn’t listen. No, he always had to be right.
Well, mister, you got it all wrong.
She hadn’t made a bad decision that night. Her attacker had. She was just the poor girl who’d had to pay for it.
Liam’s car pulled up beside her and slowed. “Aggie, stop please. Let me apologize.”
“Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“No. You have to let me tell you what I meant.”
She kept walking.
He sped up and parked farther up the road. Liam got out and stood on the path in front of her. “I need to explain. It’s not just about learning self-defense, which I’m sure you’ll rock at. You need more than that to get past what happened to you. I want to help you.”
She could organize her own counsellor, thanks very much. Aggie fumed but kept walking, brushing past him. He reached out and grabbed her arm. Aggie didn’t think. She pivoted, grabbed his arm and twisted. Only when he cried out in pain did she let him go. Liam was on his knees hanging onto his arm. The hurt look on his face did nothing to make her feel sorry for him.
“Get the picture, Liam. I can take care of myself. You and Ben made sure of that.” She picked up her pace and started jogging and didn’t stop until she got home.
* * *
“I don’t know what to do.” Liam pushed himself from his desk, leaned back in his chair and rocked—as if that would make him feel better. Drew sat opposite him. “She won’t speak to me, refuses to answer the door at the bakery. I’m totally lost.”
“Sorry, pal. I’ve tried to talk to her; so has April. I got a swift ‘mind your own business.’ Not the attitude I expect from my little sister. For a while there, I thought you were getting through to her. You must have pissed her off good.”
Had he ever, and he’d regretted it ever since. “You already know that, and it’s not helping that I’ve apologized every which way I can.” He chewed on his lip. He couldn’t say any more to Drew because that would break Aggie’s confidence. He’d have to work this one out by himself—but that was just the problem. He’d already tried so hard to win her over, and nothing seemed to work. Perhaps it was time he simply stopped trying.
“I’m honestly thinking of moving on, Drew. I can’t sit here so close to her and not be able to have her.”
Drew’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding me?”
Liam shook his head. He’d thought and thought and thought some more. But he couldn’t come up with anything else that made sense. He needed to get away. Being so close but so far apart from her was killing him. A break might allow him to get over her.
“You can’t leave. You’re a partner.” Drew sank down into his chair again.
“I’m thinking of getting a subsitute to step in for a bit. Maybe six months away from here will be enough to get over her.”
Drew gave him a pleading look. “No. You don’t really mean it. Heck, this has come out of the blue. I never would’ve thought you’d run away. Even at our worst moments interning, you were the one who encouraged me to soldier on.”
Liam shrugged. No matter what Drew thought, he had to leave. He couldn’t bear to see her around anymore.
Drew tried again. “No. Come on, Liam. Stop and think. You’re being ridiculous. You can’t let her push you off the island.” He stood and paced the small office. “I’ll go and talk to her again. Make her see sense. There has to be something one of us can do.”
“Don’t bother. I’ve tried talking, cajoling, begging, and nothing works. It’s over. I fucked up so bad and this is the price I have to pay for it.”
“I still don’t understand what you did that was so wrong.” He leaned over the back of the chair and stared at Liam.
“That’s between her and me, but I said something I can’t take back and it broke her heart.”
Drew frowned. “Was it true? Did you mean it?”
“No and no.” Nobody made the choice to get assaulted. That was crazy thinking. What he’d really meant was that he hadn’t been there for her and couldn’t forgive himself for leaving her exposed to something like that. If they’d stayed in touch more, if he’d made it clearer that he loved her, if he’d focused on their friendship and not so much on his career, it wouldn’t have happened.
But trying to explain that wasn’t going to be easy. He’d be exposing his own insecurities and failures to the person he cared about most. Would she ever look at him the same way again? He doubted it.
“So fix it, then. Don’t leave the island. You’re better than that. Suck it up and go grovel if you have to but stop moping around here like your life has ended.”
Chapter 22
Aggie pulled another tray of bread rolls from the oven and slid them into the cooling shelf. Almost done. One more round of loaves to bake and she was done for the morning. Sweat rolled down the back of her neck as she slammed the oven door shut.
It’d been an uneventful evening if she didn’t count the banging on the back door. Poor Liam. He didn’t know when to give up. How she wished she could just forget what he’d said, but it was burned into her brain. She didn’t need him to look after her. She didn’t need anyone. Damned if she was going to be a delicate female, dependent on a man for her safety. She’d rather remain single no matter how much her heart screamed out for him. Having him think her incapable of making a decent decision was what did it for her. He thought she lacked a decent brain in her head—at least, that was how she was reading it. As though she wasnt capable of looking after herself and was dependent on him. Shame she had to take such a harsh stand to prove her point but there it was. If she was making the wrong choice now, she had to live with it.
It was a pity he didn’t understand her way of thinking. Sure, he meant well, she’d give him that. But that was one step away from him blaming her for what happened. In her mind, saying she’d made the wrong decision was as damning as saying she deserved the assault. Until she proved she could make it on her own, Aggie wasn’t prepared to hand over her well-being to a man, even one she loved so much. It was the only thing she had left: her sense of self that she’d almost lost that night. She could work all day, every day, but it didn’t lessen the need she had to be able to stand on her own two feet. Being independent was the one thing she needed to define more than anything else in her life.
She’d been so close to finding it when Liam had dashed it down. With one misplaced sentence, he’d almost sent her back to the depths of darkness she’d tried for so long to climb out of. Oh, she knew he didn’t really mean it the way she’d taken it. But still, it hurt that he didn’t think she was capable. He was hurt by the way she was ignoring him, but he wasn’t as broken as she was.
It didn’t make it any easier to hear from Drew that Liam was struggling now that she wouldn’t talk to him. Her brother begged her to take pity on his friend, but Aggie was determined to stick to her decision. Drew acted like she was to blame, but she refused to take that on board and accept it as her fault.
Liam had made the decision to say those words and she wasn’t in a position to save him from his pain when she hadn’t managed to save herself. If she tried to talk him out of going away, that would be her taking away his choice.
Aggie grabbed a cloth and began her early morning ritual of cleaning the bakery before the sales staff arrived for the day. She wiped down all the work tops, s
tacked the bread pans, and slid the empty trays into the shelves ready for tomorrow’s effort to start all over again.
When the surfaces were clean, she picked up her broom and swept from the front of the store to the back of the kitchen. She gathered the garbage from the office and under the counter, then tipped it all into her big trash can by the back door. Mindlessly, she tied the top of the bag and swung it over her shoulder to take out to the dumpster.
The chill in the dawn air made her shudder after the warmth of the ovens. She lifted the lid and threw in the bag, letting the top bang down. Aggie wiped her hands on her apron and turned to go back into the shop.
A movement from the shadows stopped her. Panic set in as an unknown person ambled toward her.
In the light of her back porch, she could see him. He looked unkempt and sinister, a stranger to the island. He took deliberate steps toward her, and her stomach plummeted.
Think, just think. Don’t lose it. You got this. Oh shit!
He stared at her with cold eyes. “I want your money.” He pulled a knife from behind his back and held it up. “Pay up or I’ll cut you.”
Fear crawled up her throat and Aggie felt faint. Focus, girl. Just focus.
He waved the knife in her face and grinned, showing off rotted teeth. “I’m not playing here, girlie. I know you have money in there and I want it.” His sleeve slid up his arm as he poked the knife at her, inches from her cheek. Track marks dotted the inside of his elbow. The guy was a junkie. Erratic, desperate, and determined to get what he wanted.
She swallowed. There was no way this creep was getting her hard-earned money. “I put it in the bank yesterday. There’s no cash here.” Aggie had to find a way to distract him so she didn’t have to go back in the shop with him. If she did, she didn’t think she would be safe. Better off lashing out at him and taking off. Making the most of her chances in the open seemed preferable to being stuck in the shop where she had limited chances to escape.
She leaned back from the knife and took a small step, hoping he wouldn’t notice. “Help yourself. It’s in the cash register.”
He took a step closer. “Do you think I’m stupid? Come here.” He grabbed her arm, his fingers digging into her skin.
Her heart raced, and her mouth went dry. Suddenly she had trouble swallowing. The old panic was taking over despite what Ben had taught her. She couldn’t remember a single move. Her mind went blank.
Until he dragged her toward the door of the shop. “Get in there and get it for me.”
Instinct finally kicked in. Aggie pivoted around, lifted the arm he’d gripped, twisted and brought it down on his, knocking his hand away. He lunged at her, the knife flashing in the light. She stepped back as he struck out, lifted her arm, and brought her elbow crashing down onto his forearm. He yelled and the knife clattered to the ground.
Next Aggie came in with a raised leg as he went down to retrieve his weapon, crunching bone as her knee met his face. He slumped to the ground and she followed up with a kick to his ribs but he remained in a motionless heap.
Aggie leaned her hands on her knees, hunched over, and stared at her assailant, desperate to get breath back into her burning lungs. He moaned and she startled, finally moving away from him.
Her legs trembled and she wanted to heave up her dinner but managed to get inside and lock the security screen before she fell against the wall. Aggie sucked in deep breaths to try and still the pounding of her heart while keeping an eye on her attacker.
She peered out the security screen. The knife was lying beside him but he was still. Should she or shouldn’t she? If he came to and still had a weapon, who would he go for next when he realized she was safe? She reached for the door handle and then mentally slapped herself. Don’t be silly. Call Ben and let him deal with it.
Aggie pulled her phone out of her back pocket and pushed the right buttons. “Hey, Ben. Sorry to wake you up. I need you at the shop.”
When Ben arrived minutes later, her assailant had started to move. Before he could find his feet, Ben had him cuffed and in the back of the police car. He came over to the door and Aggie opened it.
“Thanks. I don’t know where he came from but I was scared half to death.” She started to tremble and then began to shake uncontrollably.
Ben smiled and rubbed her arm consolingly. “You did well, Aggie. I’m proud of you.”
She gave him a shaky laugh. “Yeah, me too. I almost froze, you know? But then I figured I didn’t want to be a statistic, and it was up to me to do something about it.” She blew out a breath, keeping her gaze on her attacker.
“Freezing is normal. Lucky your training kicked in; that’s the main thing.”
She started to ramble, unable to stop herself. “Does it always do that though? I mean, I almost let him win. Just like the last time.” She dropped her head, not wanting to see the understanding in Ben’s eyes. He’d figured out that she was at the class for a reason and now she’d almost spat it out.
“If you have the skills to protect yourself and you practice often enough, it becomes second nature. You never have to be a victim again, Aggie. You’re in charge now and this proves it.” He looked over toward the car as his prisoner banged his head against the window. “I’d better get this guy in and process him. I want you to come into the station later to give me an official statement, okay?”
Aggie nodded.
“But I’m going to get someone to come down and walk you home when you’re ready. I think it might all hit you later, and I don’t think you should be alone.”
“Thanks.” She raised her head. “I’ll call my dad.”
“You don’t want me to ring Liam?”
“No. No, I have some things to work through before I speak to him again.”
“Don’t leave it too long then. From what he told me, he’s taking a leave of absence and going to work in Seattle for six months. I didn’t want to pry, but I thought you should know.”
He was actually leaving? Aggie had heard whispers and hoped it was a rumor. “Really? Why?”
Ben shrugged. “I heard you and he had an argument. At least, that’s the word around town. He’s waited a long time for you and seems it didn’t work out. Guess he can’t bear to be here without you.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Poor lovesick fool. He’s always had a thing for you, ever since we were kids. But listen, it’s nothing you don’t already know. I have to get this guy in. Don’t forget to come in later today and give me a statement.” He waved and headed to his car.
Aggie finished off her baking, arguing with herself. She could stop Liam from leaving. All she had to do was go and talk to him and admit that she loved him and forgave him for what he’d said. But could she get him to take a step back and stop being so protective of her? She needed to feel as though she could look after herself without relying on Liam to have her back all the time.
By the time the sun shone through the front window, she was still undecided.
* * *
Thumping on the front door startled Liam from a troubled sleep. He glanced at the clock. He hadn’t overslept; his phone hadn’t rung with an emergency. He stumbled out of the bedroom and saw the familiar outline in the frosted glass front door. His heart raced. Aggie. What was she doing here?
“Is everything okay?” The words were out before the door was even open. He unlocked the front screen and reached for her, noting the paleness of her face and the troubled look in her eyes. “What happened?”
“Can I come in?”
Liam stood back. “Sure.”
Aggie walked into the lounge and turned to face him. “I need you to listen without interrupting. Can you do that?”
This didn’t sound good. “Sure.”
She gave him a skeptical glance.
“Yes, I can shut up for a minute. Stop dragging it out and tell me what happened before I have a heart attack.” Now he knew he wasn’t going to like what she had to say.
“The other week whe
n you and I had a disagreement about me looking after myself, I didn’t really give it much thought other than taking it to mean you thought I deserved what I got.” She held up her hand as he opened his mouth. “Stop. See, you can’t not butt in, Liam. Let me finish.”
Anger built in his gut but he had to admit she was right. He’d said the wrong thing and was still paying for it.
“You wanted me to do the self-defense class because of what happened and then you didn’t let me use what I knew. I don’t think you meant it, but at the time, it hurt. It was like you were taking away the only thing I had left—my confidence.”
He’d never thought of it that way. No wonder she was so pissed at him.
“I figured if I let you get away with it, I’d start to believe it too. That I wasn’t capable of looking after myself. That I needed someone on board all the time to do that for me.”
There was no one more capable than Aggie. He knew that.
“It made me feel like less of a person. You don’t deserve to be saddled with someone like that. You deserve better.”
“Stop putting yourself down.” He stepped forward but she held up her hand again.
“Shut up. I’m not finished. I’ve tried hard to take note of what Ben has taught me, and this morning, I got to use it for real.”
“What?”
“I’m okay, so stop freaking out.”
Easy for her to say. “What happened?”
“I was cleaning up. You know the routine. Sweep the floors and put out the garbage. There was someone—nobody I’ve seen before—hanging around out by the dumpster. He looked homeless. He had a knife.”
“Are you kidding me? You sure you’re okay?” He looked her over for cuts but couldn’t see anything wrong.
Don't Let Go (Hope Harbor Book 3) Page 14