Henry Horn's X-Ray Eye Glasses

by Dwight V. Swain

theUnited States Army--" And then, breaking off: "All right. Why did youjump so when I mentioned the spy was believed to have red hair?"

  "Well...." Henry squirmed some more. He tried hard to look dignifieddespite the professor's grip on his goatee, but failed miserably.

  "Out with it!"

  "It's really nothing, Joseph--"

  "Out with it, I say!"

  "Ow! Joseph, stop!" And then: "It's just ... the man who bought my X-rayglasses had red hair--"

  "The man who bought your X-ray glasses!"

  "Joseph! You're hurting!"

  "What do you mean, 'the man who bought your X-ray glasses'?" Theprofessor thrust his gaunt face to within an inch of Henry's, his eyeslike steel gimlets. "If you tell me you've sold those glasses, youmisbegotten moron--"

  "But Joseph!" Henry struggled to free himself. "You told me to get ridof them. You warned me not to use them."

  "I never told you to sell them! You knew I wanted to talk to Cogglestonabout their use to the army--"

  "Yes, but you didn't tell me _not_ to sell them. And I had all my notes,and knew just how to make another pair, and so when the red-headed manoffered me fifty dollars for them--"

  But Professor Paulsen had ceased to listen. Already he was on thetelephone and calling Major Coggleston. Tersely he explained thesituation.

  Then:

  "Could he have gotten the formula, Ray? Was it anywhere he could see itthrough those devil's glasses?" And, a moment later: "Oh. Coggleston, Ican't tell you how sorry I am--"

  "What did he say?" Henry demanded excitedly as the other hung up. "Is itall right, Joseph--"

  "No." The scientist shook his head, eyes dark with worry. "Cogglestonsays we can be practically certain the spy got that formula. He says theman in charge was having a staff meeting of his aides, and they had itwritten out on a blackboard for discussion."

  "Joseph--"

  "Ray's on his way over now. He wants to ask you some questions about theman's description--"

  * * * * *

  Even as the words left the savant's mouth, they heard a car roar up thedriveway. Major Ray Coggleston hurried in the door, a sergeant at hisheels. He wasted no time on preliminaries.

  "What did he look like?" he demanded.

  "Well, he had red hair...."

  "Yes, yes. We know that."

  "He was pretty big. Almost as tall as Joseph."

  "Yes. Go on."

  "I guess he talked sort of loud."

  "Got it."

  Henry hesitated. Tugged at his goatee, his face screwed withconcentration.

  "Really, Major Coggleston, that's about all I can remember about him,"he said at last.

  The officer swore. He paced the floor in a frenzy of anxiety.

  "We've nothing to go on!" he fumed. "The description's meaningless. Itcould fit any one of a thousand men in this area. We don't even knowwhere to start to hunt."

  "Excuse me, major--" gulped Henry.

  The military man whirled on him.

  "What is it? Have you thought of something else?"

  "Why, about where to start to hunt--"

  "Yes?"

  "Why don't you try the nudist camp?"

  "The nudist camp?" Professor Paulsen exploded. "Are you completelycrazy, Henry? Why would a spy be in a nudist camp?"

  Henry glared back at him.

  "No, I'm not completely crazy," he snapped peevishly. "And I don't knowwhat a spy is doing in a nudist camp, but that's where he was when Isold him my glasses." He sniffed. "Really, Joseph, I get awfully tiredof your acting like you were the only one around here who was halfsmart."

  But Major Coggleston interrupted.

  "Let's get this straight," he pleaded. "Where did you meet thisred-headed man? How'd you come to sell him the glasses?"

  "Oh, that?" Henry sniffed so hard his glasses slid down his nose. "Why,he was one of the men who was out peeking at the nudists." He turned toProfessor Paulsen. "You remember, Joseph. He's the one who said I wastelling the truth about my X-ray eyeglasses being able to look throughthe fence."

  "Yes, heaven preserve me, I remember!" groaned the professor. "But whydidn't I think--"

  "So he asked me to sell him my glasses," Henry continued. "And whenJoseph told me to get rid of them, I took them over to the nudist campand sold them to him for fifty dollars."

  "But how'd you know he was in the nudist camp?"

  "How?" Henry's goatee jerked with contempt. "How would I know anyone wasthere? I saw him. He was right behind the blonde with the cute--"

  "Henry!"

  "Oh, all right. Anyhow, he was right behind a blonde girl. I saw himwhen I looked through my glasses while I was showing Joseph how to usethem."

  * * * * *

  Again Major Coggleston paced the floor. His face was lined with worry.He bit nervously at his lip.

  "I'll be damned if I know what to do!" he exploded. "I've got to findthat spy. But I can hardly seize a whole nudist camp just because ared-headed man bought a pair of binoculars."

  "Couldn't you ask that all red-headed men be brought to the gate?"suggested Professor Paulsen.

  "No." The officer shook his head. "If the man we want is there, thatwould tip him off."

  "Excuse me, sir," broke in the sergeant who accompanied MajorCoggleston, "but why not just search the whole place with the men you'vegot detailed for guard duty? It wouldn't be much of a job."

  The major nodded.

  "If I have to, that's just what I plan," he replied. "However, there arewomen in that camp. Nude women. And, frankly, I don't hanker after anyof the kind of publicity which undoubtedly would result from such asearch. So I want to avoid it if I can."

  "Then what--"

  "I'll go in alone! That's it!" Major Coggleston straightened, suddenlydecisive. "Sergeant, go back to the laboratory and round up all but askeleton guard. Bring them back to the nudist camp and surround it.Don't let anyone escape! Do you understand me?"

  "Yes, sir. I am to surround the nudist camp with our men as soon aspossible, leaving only a skeleton guard on the laboratory."

  "Right. On your way."

  The sergeant strode out, and a moment later the car in the drivewayroared to life. And back in the house, the major drew a deep breath.

  "Well, I'm off!" he snapped. "Wish me luck!"

  "Wait!" bleated Henry, his goatee waggling excitedly.

  "What's the matter?"

  "I'm going with you!"

  "You?" Major Coggleston stared. "What for?"

  Henry started in indignation at the other's tone. He drew himself to hisfull height and thrust his chin out aggressively.

  "'What for?'" he mimicked. "Hmmph! Let me ask you a question, MisterOfficer: how are you going to identify the man who bought my glasses ifI'm not along?"

  The major considered this. Then, at last:

  "All right. I guess you'll have to come."

  "Then so do I."

  It was Professor Paulsen.

  "Joe, there's no need to talk like that," Major Ray Coggleston began.

  "If Henry goes, I go," the savant reiterated stubbornly. "He gets inenough jams with me around to look after him. Lord knows what he'd do ifhe got away from me."

  * * * * *

  And so it was, ten minutes later, that the three appeared at the maingate of the Sunset Glow Nudist Colony: Let Old Sol Bring You Health.From within the fenced enclosure came the glow of firelight and thesound of festivities. A burly short-clad gateman was on duty.

  "Well?" he demanded.

  Major Coggleston displayed his credentials.

  "You've got a man in there whom we suspect of being a spy," heexplained. "We've got to come in and investigate."

  The gateman hesitated and chewed his lower lip.

  "O.K.," he said finally. "Ditch your clothes in the brush, over there."

  "Ditch our clothes!"

  "Sure." The gateman nodded determinedly. "You didn't think yo
u couldcome in the way you are, did you?"

  "But we represent the United States Government--"

  "I don't give a damn who you represent." The gateman was adamant. "Ifyou want to enter Sunset Glow, you'll do it in bare skin or not at all."

  The three stared from one to another. At last the major broke thesilence.

  "All right," he snapped. "Have it your own way. I suppose we _would_stand out like sore thumbs if we wore clothes."

  It took the trio but a minute to disrobe. They slipped through the gate,a strange sight: Henry, small and spindly, chin-whiskers wavinganimatedly; Professor Paulsen, gaunt, lean-shanked, stooped; and MajorCoggleston, still strong and well-built, but with a noticeable sparetire beginning to develop around his midriff.

  Inside, a great open fire was burning, with a throng of male and femalenudists disporting themselves about it. Some were toasting wieners andmarshmallows; other only their own epidermis. There was much laughterand good-natured raillery.

  "Joseph!" exclaimed Henry tensely, his goatee quivering to a point likea setter's tail. "There! See her? That blonde girl--"

  His colleague turned on him.

  "Henry Horn, I'm warning you for the last time!" he clipped. "We'rehaving a hard enough time as it is, without your calling that younglady's anatomical details to our attention. So keep quiet!"

  "Oh, all right," the little man sulked. "Just because you think you'resmarter than I am--"

  "Joe! Henry!" Major Coggleston interrupted excitedly. "Look! That manwalking off into the shadows! Hasn't he red hair?"

  The two friends shot quick glances in the direction the officer pointed.

  "That's him!" squealed Henry, dancing about like a monkey on a stick."That's the man who bought my glasses!"

  "Come on!" The major darted forward, looking for all the world like anoversize kewpie doll. Henry and the professor followed close on hisheels.

  * * * * *

  Ahead of them, the red-headed nudist hurried farther and farther out ofthe firelight and into the brush. Bushes began to slap against the threefriends' faces.

  "Damn that devil!" fumed Major Coggleston. "I can't see him. Has he lostus?"

  "Ouch!" yipped Henry, close beside him. "Oh! The mosquitoes!"

  Professor Paulsen slapped vigorously at his own anatomy.

  "They're awful!" he agreed. Then, to his friend, the major: "Do you seehim? Where is he?"

  And from the darkness behind them a voice answered:

  "Right here I am, gentlemen! At your service, now and always!"

  As one man, the trio whirled. A burly figure loomed in the gloom.

  It was the red-headed man!

  "Did you buy a pair of binoculars--" the major began.

  The other waved him down.

  "Sure, I bought 'em. And tonight I used 'em to snag onto the mostimportant military secret I've seen in a month of Sundays. Believe me,mister, I'll make my fortune from this job!"

  "Then you admit you're a spy?" the officer rasped, starting to moveforward. "You admit you're the dirty dog who murdered our sentry--"

  "Sure, sure, I admit it." The burly one seemed unperturbed.

  "Why, you--"

  "Hold it!" There was a sharp note of command in the red-headed man'svoice this time. "Don't come no closer, buddy. Not if you want to keepyour health!" He held out one ham-like hand. It gripped a heavy,bottle-shaped package.

  "I got a little private lab in my suitcase," the spy explained. "When Isaw how simple that formula was, I just brewed me up a batch of your newpowder. Now I got it right here"--he waved the package--"complete withdetonator. If you guys try to jump me, all I do is let go and the wholeworks goes off." He chuckled unpleasantly. "I guess you know whathappens when two pounds of that stuff lets go."

  The three friends shrank back. Henry's teeth already were chatteringlike the gourds in a rumba band.

  "I guess you've got us," Major Coggleston said tautly. "However, youcan't go far. My men are surrounding this camp right now."

  The red-headed man sneered.

  "Why don't you tell me something new?" he commented caustically. "Why'dyou think I grabbed you?"

  "What?"

  "You didn't think you guys surprised me, did you?" The burly onelaughed. "Hell, I saw you the second you came in.

  "The way I'd planned it, I was going to hide out in the camp, here,until the stink blew over. Then I figured on pulling a fast sneak out ofthe country.

  "But someone caught wise. I guess it was you"--he nodded at the quakingHenry--"so I had to revise things a little. I knew you'd have supportcoming up--Army Intelligence officers don't walk into trouble withoutbacking except in the movies."

  * * * * *

  "So what do you plan to do with us?" demanded the major. "You can seeyou haven't a chance to get away--"

  "Haven't I?"

  "The camp is surrounded."

  "Sure." Their captor was amused. "That's why I grabbed you. The four ofus are going to march out of here together. And you"--he jerked his headtoward Major Coggleston--"are going to make your boys lay off. You'll gowith me 'til I'm satisfied I'm in the clear. Then I'll turn you loose."

  "And if we refuse?" grated the major.

  The other shrugged.

  "O.K. by me," he said. "We all blow up together."

  There was a long moment of silence, pregnant with panic.

  "You must have a great deal of confidence in your ability as a chemist,to prepare this explosive on such short notice and with limitedequipment," Professor Paulsen commented at last.

  The red-headed man laughed.

  "Why shouldn't I have?" he demanded. "I may have been raised inBrooklyn, but I learned my business in Berlin, and they know how toteach there."

  Another long silence.

  "Well, make up your mind!" their captor grunted finally. "We ain't gotall night, you know. Do you come quiet, or do I have to blow us all tosmithereens?" He waved the package in his hand menacingly.

  Major Coggleston threw up his hands in a gesture of defeat.

  "You win!" he snapped. "If I were alone, I'd say blow and be damned. Butmy friends deserve a better fate."

  "You're smart," the other reported approvingly. "Come on!"

  Slowly, the trio moved forward.

  "Hurry up!" grated the red-head. And then, to the professor: "Youskinny, get a move on!"

  For the gaunt savant was distinctly lagging. He had dropped back untilhe was a full yard behind Henry and the major, and only a step in frontof the spy.

  "Hurry up!" the Nazi repeated, his eyes suddenly cold and menacing.

  "Joseph! Come on!" urged Henry, his teeth chattering. "Don't make himmad! Please, Joseph!"

  "I'm coming," grunted the scientist. "I certainly can't be blamed if thepebbles and twigs hurt my feet, can I?"

  And with that, he sprang.

  Like a human octopus, all long arms and legs, he launched himself at thespy. His hands clutched at the red-head's throat. His legs wrappedaround the man's waist and dashed him backward to the ground.

  "Help!" screamed the spy. With a wild motion he hurled the package fromhim in a long arch.

  _Bang!_

  * * * * *

  But the explosion was the crack of a detonating cap, not the thunderousroar of a heavy charge of powder.

  Major Coggleston lunged forward. His fists beat a meaty tattoo on thespy's face.

  The next instant the crackle of military commands and the thud offootsteps burst upon them. The four--Professor Paulsen, Major Cogglestonand the spy, in a heap on the ground; and Henry Horn, wide-eyed andtrembling, standing near at hand--were illumined in a powerfulflashlight's beam. Half a dozen soldiers rushed up.

  "Major! We heard that shot! Are you all right?"

  The officer struggled to his feet, trying hard to preserve the dignityof his rank despite his nudity. In the light of the flash he looked evenmore than before like an overgrown kewpie doll.


  "Of course I'm all right!" he puffed. "What's more, that red-headed raton the ground is the spy and murderer we've been looking for. Take himaway, men!"

  He turned to Professor Paulsen.

  "Joe, this is one time I don't know what to say. If it hadn't been foryou that devil would have made a clean getaway."

  "Forget it," retorted the gaunt scientist. "It's little enough I can dofor my country at my age."

  "Honestly, Joseph, I can't see how you got the nerve to do it!" marveledHenry, still wide-eyed. "Just think, we might all have been killed--"

  The professor glared.

  "What do you mean,