Wreck Me - An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance

by Lee Mae

  “Anytime before his mom figures it out.”

  Frowning, Nicole fished out a tissue from her handbag. “You’re right. I should have told you. I’m sorry. I mean that.”

  I nodded. “Thank you.”

  “So where does this leave us?” she asked after a few moments of silence.

  “The same place it left us earlier today. And last night. And every night since you had dinner with me and my mother. It’s not going to change anything between us.”

  I could see the disappointment on her face, and it was almost enough to break my resolve and tell her that I didn’t mean it. But I could not. “It won’t work, Nikki. I’m sorry.”

  She sat there for a moment, and I thought she might burst into tears once again. Instead, she let out a shaky breath, grabbed her bag, and got out of the car. Slamming the door shut behind her, she walked away, still holding her head high.

  I admired her pride, even now. Nikki was a hell of a woman. She just wasn’t my woman.

  Not anymore.

  I sighed and closed my eyes.

  “Can I get a ride home?” asked a voice, startling me. I opened my eyes and found Leigh leaning into the Nova’s passenger window. “My mother has to take my little brother to the ER to have his foot checked out. She thinks he broke it falling down the stairs.” Leigh didn’t wait for my answer. She just opened the door and climbed inside.

  I let out a rough exhale, then started the engine. “Sure. Why not?”

  We sailed out of the parking lot and I started heading in the direction of Leigh’s house.

  “I saw Nicole leaving your car. Are you guys getting back together?” Her voice was reasonable, her tone conversational, and it was throwing me off.

  “No. It’s over.”

  She nodded. “It’s probably for the best. You’re going to graduate in a few months, and the chances of your relationship surviving your next transition is not high. Take it from me, college is a whole new ballgame.”

  I figured she was talking about Nate, about what might happen between them when they graduated, but I was wrong.

  “Dave dropped me without so much as a text, you know,” she added.

  Dave had been a good friend until tragedy struck and I withdrew from my friends to mourn privately. He’d gone off to college, and every once in a while he’d like one of my social media posts, but beyond that, we hadn’t exchanged a word in over a year.

  Leigh stared out the window. “He just changed his relationship status to ‘It’s complicated,’ and then two weeks later to ‘Single.’ Not once did he ask my opinion.”

  It still obviously rankled Leigh, and I couldn’t blame her. Dave should have had the balls to break things off before college. Instead, he’d just cut her off, like a child who decided to stop playing with toys.

  Leigh looked at me again. “Take it from me, high school relationships don’t last. Name one that has.”

  “My parents met in high school,” I countered.

  “And look what happened to your dad.” She mimed holding a gun to her head, and a wave of sickness hit my stomach.

  I gave her a dirty look.

  “Sorry. That was shitty, even for me,” she said, realizing she’d crossed a line. “All I’m saying is, the odds are stacked considerably against you.”

  In that moment of vulnerability, I realized that Leigh was genuinely hurt. She must have loved Dave deeply. I could almost feel bad for her.

  We pulled up in front of her house, and she thanked me for the ride. “You’re a catch, Zack,” she told me as she climbed out of my car. “You deserve someone who is going to respect you enough to care about your feelings.” She shut the door behind her. “Thanks for the lift.”

  As I watched Leigh walk away, I thought about what she’d said. Leigh used her bitchy demeanor as a shield, much as Nicole had. Beneath that armor, she had real feelings, feelings that could be hurt.

  I drove home, my thoughts circling my head, making me feel like a painted horse on a merry-go-round. No matter what angle I looked at things from, I still ended up in the same place.

  A relationship between Nicole and me wouldn’t work. Even if there could be trust, there would always be this fear that she’d turn into her father, hiding things, putting her own needs over ours as a couple. And maybe Leigh was right too. Maybe all of this was a childhood crush, and we’d go off to college and drift apart.

  No reason to get back together, only to fall apart all over again. I didn’t think I could survive that. Things already felt as if someone was ripping off a bandage as slowly as possible. It was time to get rid of it once and for all and hope that the wound had finally healed.

  20

  NIKKI

  WINTER BREAK WAS just one week away. Most of my classmates were excited, ready to throw off the shackles of homework and spend the next couple of weeks vegging out with video games and streaming services. And then there were the holidays, meaning presents and family dinners.

  At least, that’s what they usually meant.

  “I have to work on Christmas,” my mother announced at breakfast, “so you’ll be on your own.”

  I groaned. “You have to work on Christmas? Is your boss making you wear a Santa suit too?”

  Mom frowned. “Look, I don’t have a choice. I’m barely paying the bills as it is. And,” she sighed, “I’m sorry, but there won’t be any presents. Not only do I not have time to shop, but there really isn’t any extra money for them.”

  I looked down at my bowl of generic oatmeal and sighed. Christmas used to be amazing affairs. We’d get a giant tree and would spend all day decorating it. She used to devote the entire month of December to shopping for the perfect gifts. They were always elaborately wrapped, expensive objects, and she’d smile as I opened each one.

  Not this year.

  This year I’d be microwaving a low-calorie box meal and watching the Macy’s Parade alone.

  “I’m sorry, honey. I really am,” she said sadly.

  “Me, too.” I understood, though. She was doing the best that she could and I couldn’t blame her for the situation we were in.

  At lunch that day, my friends were discussing their break plans. Everyone had something fun and exciting they were looking forward to. When it came around to me, I put on a happy face. “We’ll just do what we do every Christmas,” I said with a nonchalant shrug. “Big breakfast and the Macy’s Day Parade.”

  Sam smiled. “We watch that every year too. When I was young, I wanted to grow up to be a giant balloon operator. Snoopy, specifically.”

  We all laughed, imagining Sam pulling down the ropes that kept Snoopy earthbound. I tried to push away the feeling of guilt I felt for lying to my friends. It’s not important, I told myself. No one wants to hear about the depressing truth of my holiday. It’s a burden.

  When the final bell rang, I considered just staying in the girls’ locker room until they turned off the light and locked up the school. This place had everything I needed anyway. Showers. Terrible food stashed in the cafeteria. And no one around, just like at my place.

  Eventually, I got up the energy to drag my ass to the bus stop. Going home to an empty house every night was starting to wear on me. Was this what it was going to be like from now on?

  Loneliness covered me like a tidal wave. I resorted to bad habits, like obsessing over my old friends on social media. Everyone was posting pics of their epic Christmas vacations, intricately decorated Christmas trees, and cozy little gatherings of friends and family enjoying cocoa and the holiday spirit. It was another reminder of how different my life was now then the previous year. And it sucked.

  BY THE TIME Christmas finally rolled around, I wasn’t bothering to get dressed. I wore the same pair of pajamas for days running, since it didn’t matter if I got dressed or not. My mother was barely around, and my friends were all busy enjoying the holiday with their families.

  “Well, Santa might as well bring me a bottle of wine,” I said, opening the cabinet and moving th
e crockpot out of the way. Behind it, I found where my mother stashed the wine she’d taken from the cellar before the FBI got their fingers on it. I grabbed a bottle at random and pulled it out. The label was old and in French. God only knew how much my father paid for it. With his expensive tastes, I knew it was probably a fortune.

  I dug out the corkscrew and opened the wine, not even bothering to pour it in a glass but drinking it straight from the bottle. A voice in my head asked me what I was doing, but I wasn’t in the mood to answer for my sins.

  “I’m getting fucking drunk. Why not? My life is going nowhere,” I muttered out loud.

  I probably wouldn’t even be able to afford community college without going into debt. If the government would even loan money to Richmond Easton’s daughter, that is.

  I was starting to feel the alcohol by the time the bottle was halfway empty. I dug around in the fridge, finding enough random odds and ends to make a sandwich. “Merry Christmas to me,” I sang as I chewed the cheap white bread creation.

  No one wished themselves a Merry Christmas in reply.

  When the first bottle was empty, I considered going back for another one, but before I could, the door opened and my mother entered. I hurriedly hid the empty bottle before she made it into the living room.

  “You’re home,” I said, not following it up with anything.

  “I am,” she said, squinting at me. “Are you okay?”

  “Just peachy,” I said, picking up the remote and scanning through the channels. “How was work?”

  Mom sat down and flashed me a smile. “Remember how I said I didn’t have any Christmas gifts for you? It turns out that’s not exactly true.”

  My brows went up in surprise, and warmth spread through me. Maybe I’d been wrong, assuming this Christmas would be irredeemably the worst.

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really.” She took a deep breath, then spoke in a rush. “My boss and I are getting married. Merry Christmas!”

  My mouth dropped open in shock. “What?”

  “We’ve been spending so much time together, it was inevitable,” Mom said, her smile coy. “I’m thinking of a June wedding.”

  “Isn’t your boss married?”

  She waved her hand. “He’s going to leave his wife for me.”

  “What about you? You’re still married too.”

  My mother waved her hand like her marriage vows were nothing more than minor hurdles to jump over on her way to her next economic windfall.

  I scrubbed a hand over my face in disbelief. “Mom, you can’t be serious.”

  “Of course I’m serious. He’s going to marry me, and we can get out of this dump. We can go back to living the life we deserve, and this whole nightmare will be behind us.”

  The Trophy Wife strikes again. I couldn’t believe it.

  “Mom, he’s not going to leave his wife for you.”

  She frowned. “Yes, he is, Nicole. And I don’t need you spewing negativity all over this.”

  “Even if he did marry you, are you sure you quitting your job is wise?”

  Mom let out a bark of laughter. “Are you serious? I’m not going to be his assistant when I’m his wife.”

  “You could get another job.”

  “What’s gotten into you?” she asked, her brows furrowed. “Why should I keep working at some shitty job when my husband can provide for me?”

  “I can’t believe I have to be the one to say this,” I said, the wine going to my head, lowering my inhibitions and loosening my tongue. “But aren’t you tired of being a trophy wife? Do you really want to go back to depending on a man to take care of you? You saw what it got you with Dad.”

  My mother stood, her face flushing red. Hands on her hips, she laid into me. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Why should I slave at some dead-end job just to come home to this garbage?” She poked her finger in my direction. “You’re acting like an ungrateful little snot. Don’t you see what I’ve done for you? Your new stepdad could pay for your college, Nicole. That’s nothing to turn up your nose at.”

  “I won’t take money off some man who thinks with his dick and not his head.”

  She gasped. “Watch your mouth!”

  “You watch it!” I yelled, standing up and pushing past her. “I’m leaving.”

  “The hell you are.” She followed me to my room, haranguing me. “This is an opportunity for both of us. Do you really love being broke all the time? Do you really love living in the Valley, going to that shit school and riding public transport?”

  “I’d rather suffer through those things than watch you sell your body to some random rich guy.”

  “So help me God, Nicole, don’t make me smack your mouth.”

  I’d never seen my mother this mad, except for the night Dad was arrested. It didn’t matter, however. I was drunk enough to make bad decisions on my own, come hell or furious mother.

  “You’re grounded,” she barked, and I just laughed. When she tried to block my door, I pushed my way past her. “Don’t you dare set foot outside that door,” she hissed.

  I ignored her, grateful I’d actually gotten dressed that day, and slammed out of the apartment. Without looking back, I hit the main door to the building, and then I was outside into the cool night. I walked off down the empty street as the stars twinkled above me. Unfortunately, the buses weren’t running, I knew, which limited my options.

  I walked without thinking, my drunken mind turning over everything that had just happened. My mom was ready to sell herself to her boss, just to not have to work for a living. I thought my father was disgusting for stealing other people’s money, but was my mother much better?

  My feet carried me through the night, and as I passed apartments and houses, I could see families sitting down to Christmas dinners or watching TV together in their decorated living rooms. I was on the outside, the ghost of Christmas Present, passing through endless night as a reminder of the tribulations present in the world. I was Tiny Tim, limping through the cold night, ignored by all the Scrooges in the Hills and the Valley.

  Suddenly, I found myself standing outside of Zack’s house. Looking up in surprise, I realized that my feet had led me here.

  No, my heart did.

  I stood on the sidewalk, looking through the bay window at the scene beyond it. Zack and his mother were tossing popcorn at each other, each trying to get a kernel into the other’s mouth. They were smiling, laughing, and well, simply having a wonderful Christmastime.

  I felt cold, bereft, and so alone. Maybe I wasn’t the ghost of Christmas Present. Maybe I was the ghost of Christmas Future, haunting the graveyard in fair Verona. Here lie the bodies of Romeo and Juliet, I’d tell those I brought on my tour. Here will they remain, with generations of high school students as their chambermaids. Eyes look your last, for this is the fate of star-crossed lovers.

  I turned away from his house and started to walk back home. There was nowhere else for me to go.

  21

  Zack

  “YOU GOING TO that New Year’s Eve party everyone’s talking about?”

  Chris and Nate were standing in my backyard, tossing a football back and forth. “You mean Ryan’s party?” Nate responded to Chris’s query.

  “Yeah. I hear it’s gonna be lit.”

  I frowned as I listened to them. Ryan James was a local two-bit drug dealer. He was a few years older than us and had been a senior when I was only a freshman. His house had become a party pad of sorts because Ryan didn’t mind buying high school kids alcohol.

  He also seemed to have a penchant for high school girls.

  Nate shrugged. “Leigh wants to do something special for New Years. I was thinking about taking her to Disneyland.”

  Chris snorted with laughter. “Bruh, Disneyland? Everyone is going to be raging at Ryan’s and you’re going to be taking Leigh on the teacup ride.”

  “Fuck you, dude,” Nate retorted. “You’re going to be passed out on some dirty bathroom floor a
nd I’m gonna be taking Leigh back to our hotel room after getting her juiced on Mickey, fireworks and a fancy dinner. Then she’s got the rest of the night to show her appreciation.”

  “What, are you going to fuck her with Mickey’s dick too?”

  Nate drove the ball into Chris’s chest before tackling him to the ground. As they rolled around in the grass, I ignored them, scrolling through my social media feed. Something was bothering me. I’d friended everyone in Nikki’s tightly-knit group while we were still together, and my current daily obsession was to go to their pages and look for any evidence of my ex-girlfriend.

  In the last few days, I’d seen no hint of her. Sam, Trinity, Angel and Ash were still posting as often as they normally did, but they must not have been hanging out with Nikki as much.

  Maybe it’s the holidays. Things will likely go back to normal when we’re back in school in the next couple days.

  Nate shoved off of Chris to stand up, then helped his buddy to his feet. They might get into a few scrapes, but Nate and Chris couldn’t stay mad at each other.

  “Hey, speaking of Ryan,” Chris said, looking in my direction. “I saw Dumps come out of his place the other night. She was carrying what looked like a bottle in a brown paper bag.”

  My expression remained neutral, but my insides heated with anger.

  “A bottle?” Nate asked.

  “Yeah. Of booze. Duh.” Chris rolled his eyes. “You know that Ryan will buy any kind of booze for any 12th grade skank.”

  “So Dumps likes to party huh?” Nate laughed. “Wait until I tell Leigh about this.”

  “Leigh doesn’t need to know.”

  Both heads turned in my direction after my growled response.

  “What do you care?” Nate said, a smirk on his face.

  “Yeah. She broke your heart. Cheated on you with the basketball team, right?” Chris followed up.

  “She didn’t cheat on me,” I said, my tone forceful. “I told you not to talk about her around me.”