The Galactic Empress' Bodyguard

by Ben Harrington

Deo'ta was visibly bothered at Colton's news. "Did you notice anything else about them? An accent, or a style of clothing, or—"

  "It's all alien to me," said Colton. "But they did call me an Earthie. And told me to go home."

  Deo'ta let out a long, tense breath. "As I feared," he said. "Your stay here will inflame historical grievances."

  "Hear that, doc? ‘Inflame'."

  "I'll get you a table and some lube," said Iko, and went to check on other patients.

  Deo'ta re-positioned himself closer to Colton, so their conversation would be a little less public. "Captain, we will find those responsible—"

  "Not important," said Colton. "I'm not the job, the Empress is the job."

  "That's very noble of you, but—"

  "Oh, don't worry, I'm still going to be a pain in your ass. Starting right now: I need operational authority."

  Deo'ta frowned. "I do not understand..."

  "Well, it occurred to me as I was bleeding internally that this place is full of doors that any fucker can open, any time they like, without leaving a trace."

  "Security protocols are being tightened as we speak, but—"

  "But it won't matter if the assassin has friends in high places," said Colton. "Which they probably do. So we're back to, functionally, a palace with no doors."

  "I see," said Deo'ta. "And that means...?"

  "That means I need authority to design, prepare, execute and abort any and all interactions the Empress has. With anybody."

  Deo'ta got an odd, toothy grin on his face. "Abort..."

  "If I don't like the feel of a room, she leaves, no questions asked. I decide, she obeys."

  "The Empress does not take orders from—"

  "In this, she has to," said Colton. "Or I can't do my job, and she's going to end up dead. So you give me operational authority, or I walk."

  Deo'ta thought for a moment. And a few moments more. Then he nodded over his shoulder, and Dr Iko came back, standing at attention.

  "Get Captain Shaw discharged at once," he said. "He has a busy day ahead of him."

  15

  Colton got to the meeting late, but if the Empress was annoyed by him slipping into the room unannounced, she didn't show it. In fact, she kept on speaking as if nothing had happened at all:

  "...and trade routes are not up for discussion. If the ambassadors wish to argue the point with us, they are more than welcome to try."

  Her style today was much different than the last time he saw her: another form-fitting dress, the same collar and sleeves that covered all but the faintest glimpses of skin, but this time she was layered heavily with jewels, and her hair was done up in a way that suggested she had way too much time on her hands, locked away in her safe room all night.

  Colton turned his attention to the visitor. Deo'ta had filled in some gaps: this was Torsten, the younger of the Empress' two brothers, and as such, the middle manager of the family. If the Empress was too rough, and Ryvik was too soft, Torsten was the exact amount of effectiveness to compensate for his siblings' shortcomings, and get the job done.

  His clothes were plain, his face was serene, and his words were carefully-chosen: "Of course, your Majesty," he said, with a bow.

  "Your Majesty," said Deo'ta, stepping forward with the utmost respect. "If I may... In light of recent events, perhaps a stronger response is called for, in this instance."

  "Stronger?" she asked.

  "Something more... persuasive, if you will. The Crown must be the first and final word on all things. And while strong words are fine under normal circumstances, until it is well-known that your threats have substance, you will appear weak to your enemies."

  The Empress gave Torsten a knowing look. "I was thinking the same thing, actually."

  Torsten, though, was still not onboard with this theory: "I don't disagree with the sentiment, Minister Deo'ta, but we can't just execute ambassadors who disagree with us."

  Deo'ta seemed taken aback at the suggestion. "I would never... No, I mean a public condemnation, rather than a private warning. Give them an ultimatum they cannot ignore, and let them fall in line."

  "And if they don't?" asked the Empress.

  "Then, your Majesty, they will have committed treason, and the execution would be warranted."

  Colton didn't like the sound of that. It was very much like egging someone into a fist fight, just so you had an excuse to shoot them in the head. It was shifty and cruel.

  The Empress seemed to agree: "No," she said. "We will not go to war with our own ambassadors. A private warning will do." She nodded toward Torsten. "What else do you have for me?"

  "Last item," he said. "Regarding the allium shortage..."

  "You have intelligence?"

  "Yes, your Majesty. The situation on Kgego is complex. It appears the mining operations are still intact, but shipments offworld have been stalled for some time. And since Kgego provides a large proportion of the Empire's allium supply..."

  "It causes issues for everyone," said the Empress. "You said it appears... where is the governor in all this? How does he not know?"

  Torsten winced and said: "It seems the governor has been kidnapped, your Majesty."

  "What?"

  "Reliable information is hard to come by, but from what I can ascertain, there is an uprising underway. Terrorists have bombed several government offices in the capital of Sirra-zo, and the governor has either been kidnapped by the separatists, or is in hiding."

  "Separatists," she said. "Separating from the Empire?"

  "Yes, your Majesty. Their leader, a man named Tgente Piro, has made no secret his treasonous views. Beyond the bombings and the likely kidnapping, it seems he and his soldiers are punishing civilians who show allegiance to your Majesty. His methods are, to put it mildly, horrific."

  The Empress turned away in frustration, and evidently noticed Colton or the first time. She froze, took a step back, like she was unhappy he was still alive, and wasn't sure how to express it except with disgust.

  Colton kept his gaze looking straight past her, his posture impeccable. He was going to be a good little soldier today. This time for sure.

  The Empress looked back to Deo'ta and smiled. "It seems your public ultimatum will happen after all, Minister." Then, to Torsten: "We will demand the resumption of allium shipments, a total and complete cease-fire, and the surrender of this Piro and his rebels... or we will remind them who they are dealing with."

  Torsten nodded sharply. "I'll arrange for an envoy to—"

  "No, no envoy," she said. "I will deliver the ultimatum in person."

  Deo'ta and Torsten exchanged horrified looks. Colton, too, was stunned by the suddenness of her decision; you'd think that narrowly surviving so many assassination attempts in a short period of time would make someone less reckless, not more.

  Deo'ta had his protest ready first, though, and spoke for the others: "Your Majesty, a personal appearance is not—"

  "I must set the tone," she said. "The late Emperor made his power known galaxy-wide in the days after his ascension."

  "But he had an army..." Deo'ta said.

  "And I don't?" she snapped, and he cowered at the harshness in her voice. "I do not choose to be a conqueror, but neither will I be a doormat. If Kgego thinks their new Empress is too weak to assert her authority, they will soon learn how wrong they are."

  "But in person..." pleaded Torsten.

  "The galaxy must see that I am not afraid," she said. "Until they do, I will never be safe. Never." She softened slightly, and said: "I know the risks, Torsten. I do. But I cannot hide forever."

  Torsten and Deo'ta bowed their submission, and she stood taller and said in very stately voice: "Make the arrangements. We are going to Kgego."

  Given how the others were suddenly spineless cowards, Colton felt the need to clear his throat a li
ttle too loudly, and raise a finger of contention. "Sorry, your Majesty," he said, very politely. "But no you're fucking not."

  16

  The second Torsten and Deo'ta were out of the room — even before the door finished closing — the Empress' calm displeasure turned into outright fury. She reared on Colton, jabbing a damning finger in his direction.

  "How dare you!" she said. "It is not the place of a servant to—"

  "Bodyguard," interrupted Colton.

  "Again!" she shouted. "Servants must not speak unless asked a question!"

  Colton motioned between them. "So what's this? We're not talking right now?"

  "I am speaking at you, not to you. Can your backwater brain appreciate the difference?"

  "Well, I mean I just got here, but I think bitchiness is kinda universal."

  Her nostrils flared and she stormed closer. "What did you say to me?"

  He smiled, shrugged. "At you, not to you."

  Close up like this, it was really hard not to stare at her. Her face was flushed and her pupils seared with rage, but the way her chest was heaving as the anger swelled up inside her... it was distracting to say the least.

  "You are dismissed," she said, and watched for his reaction.

  "I can't leave you when you're not in your—"

  "No, you're fired!" she said. "Fired!

  He shook his head: "No I'm not."

  She looked outright shocked at his refusal. Like someone had slapped her. "I... I am the Empress of the—"

  "Congratulations, Empress, but I don't work for you. I work for Mr Deo'ta. And Mr Deo'ta has given me operational authority over your security."

  "Deo'ta works for me."

  "Then fire him," he said. Her face twitched. "No? Didn't think so. Because you need him, because you trust him... the way he trusts me. To keep you safe."

  The Empress straightened out her spine, still not quite letting go of her anger, but not quite ready to eviscerate him either. She leaned in close, looking up at him, eyes narrow.

  "If you ever contradict me in public again—"

  "Hey, if you stop making dumb choices in public, I'll—"

  She roared in anger, turned and stormed to her throne, but didn't sit. She pressed her palms into the arms, like she was doubled over with pain. If he hadn't known any better, he'd have thought she was about to throw the throne right at him.

  "Are all Earth humans as obnoxious as you?" she asked.

  "No, that's my super power," he said. "No bullshit, and an excellent shot."

  She looked over at him; he couldn't meet her gaze, of course, so he stared at her ass instead. Seemed like a good compromise. "My ascension is too unstable to survive being lectured by staff. If you truly want to protect me, save your concerns for a private audience."

  Colton rolled his eyes and shrugged. "I guess that can work." He motioned to the door with his thumb. "You want me to go fetch your brother? Let him know what's what?"

  She shook her head, settled on the throne and crossed her legs. "No need. He has his orders."

  Colton tried not to let his displeasure show. "Yes, but... his orders were to arrange a trip to Kgego."

  "Mhmm?" she said, mostly not listening.

  "Kgego, the planet in violent rebellion against you."

  "Mhmm?" she said again.

  Colton's eyes narrowed. He looked left, he looked right. Ducked low, did a visual sweep. Up high, all clear.

  The Empress noticed him bobbing around like a fool, and frowned. "What are you doing?"

  "Making sure we're alone."

  "Why?"

  "So I can tell you not to be a fucking moron." She opened her mouth to argue, but he didn't give her a chance: "I can barely keep you safe inside your own palace, where I'm hoping less than ten percent of the population wants you dead."

  "An empire is not ruled from a bomb shelter," she said.

  "No, but kings don't negotiate with terrorists, and definitely not in the terrorists' house."

  She got up, straightened her dress, and walked toward him, eyes locked on his. He knew he was supposed to look away, but he really couldn't. "We are not going to negotiate," she said. "We are going to impose order. A show of strength, and of determination against those who would oppose us."

  "That only works if you survive," he said, as she stopped in front of him, observing him with a curious look on her face. "It's suicide," he said.

  "No, suicide is doing nothing. Suicide is appearing weak in the face of opposition, emboldening more and more factions to hire their own assassins to take a shot at me."

  "We can bolster security at the palace," he said. "Screen the guards better, develop protocols to—"

  "Treating symptoms, not the disease," she said, so close he could smell her. Feel the air around her. Watch her watching him.

  "The cure might kill you," he said.

  She shrugged like it wasn't her life she was talking about. "A risk worth taking. I am going to Kgego, Earth-man. I do not care if you agree with the reasons or not. It is decided."

  She turned to go, and he reached to catch her — but stopped himself from making another big mistake. She paused, looked at his hand, so close to her arm, and seemed... amused.

  He made a fist, lowered his arm, but didn't give up the fight: "Your Majesty," he said, "the further we get from this place, the more outsiders we interact with, the harder it gets to do my job."

  "But it's your job, is it not? Figure it out. But do it fast, because we leave for Kgego at first light."

  17

  Colton put his gun on the table. "I quit," he said.

  Deo'ta looked from the weapon to Colton, and motioned for him to sit. "Please, Captain. I'm afraid you'll need to explain."

  Colton really didn't want to talk about it anymore, but figured he owed the alien at last that much, given all he'd done for him. He sat, ran his hands down his face like he could squeeze out the frustration.

  "She's going to Kgego," he said. "She still wants to go to Kgego."

  "I know," said Deo'ta. "The Royal Yacht was mid-upgrade when the news came down. It will be a frantic few hours to put it back together."

  "I don't really give a shit about the yacht," said Colton. "I care about how fucking stupid it is to go to Kgego."

  "On account of the unrest."

  "It's a fucking rebellion, Deo'ta. An armed rebellion."

  Deo'ta shrugged, like that wasn't such a big deal. "The role of an Empress is often a difficult—"

  Colton wagged a finger at him. "That's a stupid answer and you know it. She wants to waltz on in to a war zone, and expects me to keep her alive somehow."

  "It is challenging."

  "No, it's impossible! Listen, even if I knew about... all this... galaxy — which I don't, at all — and even if I understood the empire and how it worked, and who was in it, and what they thought of each other — and again, not at all — I would still not have enough time to figure out a plan to keep her safe. It's just impossible. Which is why..." he tapped the gun. "Quitting."

  Deo'ta sighed, rested his hands on the table, nodded. "I understand your position, Captain," he said. "And in truth, I do not disagree. But, if I may, I would like to show you something."

  He waved his fingers, and a holo-projection appeared in the space between them. Colton couldn't understand the words, but visually, he seemed to be looking at a list of messages, or files. Dozens of them.

  "These are incident reports," said Deo'ta, "of police thwarting active threats against the Empress. Meaning the perpetrators were within hours of carrying out their plans."

  He tapped one of the files, and a video played: a bodycam-type view of agents bursting in the door to an apartment and finding a trio of squid-men around a table, with some kind of gear strewn between them. The agents shouted, and the squid-men shouted, and some
one opened fire, and suddenly the whole room lit up with laser blasts, until one of the squid-men, badly injured, slapped his hand on the gear and a bright flash of light ended the video for good.

  The file shrunk back to the list. One of dozens.

  Deo'ta let the moment breathe, then said: "This is happening all over the Empire," he said. "And to answer your question, the Empire entails over ten thousand planets and eighteen thousand exoplanets across an incredible expanse. Every last one of them has reported insurrection since the coronation."

  "But only a fraction seem to get very far," said Colton, nodding to the list.

  Deo'ta's face twitched. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot you cannot read our numerals. Here, let me..." he scaled back the list to reveal they had been looking at just a tiny slice of the whole. Now, instead of dozens of incidents, there were thousands. Hundreds of thousands.

  "Jesus..." Colton gasped. "That's..."

  "Just the beginning," said Deo'ta. "Which is why she needs you here."

  Colton shook his head. "No, absolutely not. Listen, I appreciate what you've done for me, Deo'ta, but if that's what your Empress is dealing with, she doesn't need a single bodyguard, she needs a big fucking miracle. And I never run from a fight, but I also won't throw my life away for someone who outright refuses to listen to reason."

  "But Captain—"

  "Sorry, no. I'd rather take my chances in Quincy. At least there I have a fighting chance."

  He stood, gave Deo'ta a nod, gestured to the door. "It's been nice knowing you, but I'm done here."

  Deo'ta stood, slowly, and the holo-screen shut off automatically. He picked up the gun, turned it over in his long, lean hands, and slid it into his pocket.

  "If you are sure..." he said.

  "I'm sure," said Colton. "And I'm sorry."

  They walked most of the way to the portal room in silence. Colton had time, finally, to notice how everyone gave him a dirty look as he passed, like he was covered in fish guts or something. And since he was on his way home, he didn't feel the need to censor himself, so he flipped quite a few of them the bird. Not that they understood it, but it made him feel better.