On the Rocks

by Jared Paakaula

  She jumps onto the bar top with a bottle of whisky in her hand and pours a shot straight into her mouth. She continues pouring the whisky over her head and then over her tits. She even pours some over Parker’s head from above him. She puts down the bottle and starts to slowly move and dance sexually. The audience is hooked.

  “YAAAASSS!!! Give her some music, DJ!” Chyna yells into the mic. She looks at the audience, who are now locked in on Momi. With everyone looking the other way, Chyna knows this would be the perfect time for the paramedics to remove Robin from the club. She looks over at the office, but the door is still closed and they haven’t made a move yet.

  At the front bar, Momi continues to give the audience a show. What started off as a alcohol-soaked wet T-shirt contest has quickly become a striptease. Momi dances to the music and slowly starts to take off her clothing, piece by piece. The audience goes nuts! A lot of the guests get up out of their seats and head up to Momi to tip her. Sticking dollar bills in whatever clothing she has left, the audience cheers and dance around the front bar.

  With nothing left on, except her bra, her thong and a pair of work boots, she looks at Parker and extends her hand. The audience hollers with encouragement for Parker to join her on the bar top. Momi looks down at her ex-boyfriend. She knows she hasn’t been the kindest to him recently, but she hopes that for the sake of Robin, he will play along. She smiles at him and then winks her infamous wink.

  Parker smiles and then jumps up on the bar top. The audience screams with excitement. Joining in on the fun, he grabs the bottle of whisky, takes a shot and then starts pouring free shots into the guests’ open mouths. Looking like a bunch of fish gasping for oxygen, Parker starts laughing.

  From behind, Momi reaches for the bottom of Parker’s tank top and quickly pulls it over his head. Revealing his chiseled body, the audience shouts and starts throwing dollar bills at him. He looks back at Momi, who’s looking at him with a sassy face saying, Yeah, I did it. What you gonna do about it?

  Parker puts the bottle down and chases after Momi playfully. She runs on the bar top as far away as she can go, but Parker catches her. She struggles to get free, but then concedes. Now face-to-face, Parker holds Momi in a bear hug. Having this feel all too familiar, time starts to slow for a second as the old couple share a brief moment of what once was. They smile at each other and without words, they both know that everything is going to be alright between the two of them.

  While Momi savors the moment a second longer than Parker, Parker reaches for the back of Momi’s bra and unhooks it with one swift maneuver. Having done it a million times before, he’s happy he’s still got the magic touch.

  Momi’s face cracks and she immediately grabs the front side of her bra, so that the bra doesn’t come off completely. With one free hand, she smacks Parker’s arm as he runs to the other side of the bar. Now frozen in a state of shock, she looks down at the guests who are now chanting, “Take it off! Take it off! Take it off!”

  Being caught in the moment and believing in the ‘Free the Nipple’ campaign anyway, Momi thinks to herself, Oh, what the hell, and throws her bra into the audience and reveals her beautiful set of tits. Now topless, she dances to the music as the guests tip her even more!

  As Momi and Parker dance on the bar up front, Chyna looks over and sees the office door open. With Robin completely strapped onto a gurney, the paramedics wheel her out of the building without any of the guests noticing. OH MY GOD! WE DID IT!

  In the office, Kaleo does a quick glance around the room to see what he might need. He grabs Robin’s purse and pills, just in case. He looks Jimmy straight in his eyes and says, “Thank you so much!” Kaleo kisses him on the cheek and walks out quickly.

  Once out of the office, he looks over to make sure that the audience is occupied. To his surprise, Momi and Parker are on the bar top dancing together. He doesn’t know what exactly is happening out there, but he doesn’t care because all that matters is that no one is looking in his direction. He looks over at Chyna onstage, who’s looking back at him and flashing two thumbs up. He nods and lips, “I’m gonna go with her.”

  Chyna nods and gestures, “I’ll call you.”

  Kaleo runs out the back door to make sure the ambulance doesn’t leave without him.

  23. Cherry Bomb

  - 1 oz Cherry Vodka

  - 1/2 Pint Energy Drink

  - Splash Grenadine

  At the hospital, Malu is hooked up to an IV. His pain, while still present, has subsided thanks to the medication he was given. Having had doctors in and out since he got there, Malu decides to take a rest. With his eyes closed and his mind drifting off into the dream world, he lies there completely unaware of the doctor that is in the room talking to Ashley.

  “He’s going to be ok, but I want to hold him here until we get the test results back. We have to make sure the knife didn’t puncture his lung,” the doctor informs.

  Ashley exhales a deep sigh of relief, “Thank God! Thank you.”

  “Of course. I’ll be back when I receive his results.” The doctor turns around and walks out.

  When they first arrived at the hospital, Ashley pulled right up to the emergency entrance and put the car in ‘park’ without waiting for permission. Seeing her struggle to get her boyfriend inside the lobby, the hospital staff quickly came running out to help. They rushed Malu to the front of the line after seeing his bloody ribs.

  Now sitting by his side, Ashley wishes smoking were allowed in hospitals. Feeling every urge in her body to run outside and take a quick hit, she refuses to leave Malu’s side. She holds his hand and looks at him; she knows she’s been extra hard on him recently. As much shit as she gives him, tonight has really put things into perspective for her. She imagines a life without him, a life without a father for her children, God damnit Malu, what would I do without you? What would WE do without you? She kisses his hand and pets his forehead. She leans in and whispers in his ear, “I love you.”

  In the same hospital, but on the other side of the emergency ward, Robin is being worked on by multiple doctors. Still unconscious, Robin’s breathing is now hooked up to a ventilator to calm her body down. With tubes coming out of almost every orifice and bright lights gleaming on her body, she looks like a scene out of a sci-fi movie.

  Up until now, Kaleo has been by Robin’s side. However, with no one being allowed in the operating room except for the medical staff, Kaleo stands by the swinging doors letting the chaotic sea of people pass. As Robin gets further and further away from him, he says a little prayer internally, Please God, don’t take her yet. Please.

  Too antsy and anxious to sit down, Kaleo paces the halls waiting to hear any information from any of the hospital staff. As a nurse comes out from one of the doors, Kaleo stops him, “Is she ok? How is she? Is she breathing?”

  Not sure of who Kaleo is or who he is speaking of, the nurse turns to him and says diplomatically, “Sir, I’m sure she’ll be fine, but for now, I need you to take a seat back in the lobby, ok?” The nurse walks away and carries on with his original task. Not feeling satisfied with that answer, Kaleo decides not to listen and continues to pace the halls, waiting for another hospital worker.

  Knowing that this could be serious, he takes out his phone and calls his older brother, Lopaka. The phone rings and rings and rings, then goes to voicemail. Fucking Lopaka! He hangs up and calls again, but the same thing happens. He tries a third time and this time decides to leave a voicemail, “Call me as soon as you get this. Robin’s in the hospital.” He hangs up and opens up a text to Lopaka, hoping that texting him will somehow reach him faster. Call me. NOW!

  He goes to call his younger brother, Malu, instead and suddenly remembers, Oh shit! Malu! Having been so caught up with Robin’s situation, he completely forgot about Malu getting stabbed. Knowing that this is the closest hospital to Violet, he’s almost sure that Ashley brought him here and that they’re somewhere in the building. Needing to do something other than worry and walk in circ
les, he decides to go find his younger brother.

  Back in Malu’s hospital room, Malu is still in the paper gown that was given to him. Now wide awake and sitting upright on the hospital bed, he and Ashley share an intimate moment, staring into each other’s eyes. Realizing that they’ve been on two different pages for awhile now, the couple begin to apologize.

  “I’m sorry, babe,” Malu starts, “I’ve been neglecting you and the kids.”

  “No. I’m sorry!” Ashley cuts in. “I’ve been so hard on you. I know you work hard. I just get scared that you’re gonna get fed up one day and leave us. That’s why I get mad when you’re not around. I know, it’s stupid…”

  “Yeah, it is stupid,” Malu scolds in a playful manner. “Babe… I work hard for us. I hate being away from you and the kids, you know that! You guys are my life!”

  “I know. I just miss you a lot of the time, you know?” Ashley admits.

  “And I miss you too. I know things have been a bit off between us recently, but… we can work it out.” Malu gets sentimental, “I love you, Ash. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work.”

  “Me too,” Ashley says with teary eyes.

  “Happy wife, Happy life, right?” Malu jokes.

  “Uh, do you see a ring on this finger?” Ashley comes back with playfully.

  “Eh, ring or no ring, you're mine! You heard? Don’t you ever forget it!” He commands.

  Ashley throws her arms around Malu and hugs him tightly.

  “OW!” Malu holds his side and screams in pain.

  “OH MY GOD! I’m so sorry babe, I didn’t mean to—”

  “Nah, nah, nah. Just playing, babe.” Ever the prankster, Malu jokes even on a hospital bed.

  “You son of a bitch!” Ashley slaps him hard on his arm.

  “OW!” This time Malu means it.

  “Good for you!” Ashley says with a smile.

  Just then, there’s a knock at the door. The door is already open, but they figure the person is trying to be courteous. The couple stop play-fighting and look to the door.

  “Kaleo!” Ashley says surprised. She was not expecting him. She gets up and gives him a hug to say hello.

  “Hi guys,” Kaleo greets in a mild tone. He walks up to his brother and touches him on the shoulder, “You ok?”

  “Yeah, I’m good,” Malu replies.

  “He got lucky. The knife didn’t puncture his lung, thank God! So, he just has to let his body heal now,” Ashley informs Kaleo.

  “Good, good…” Kaleo responds in a half-hearted way.

  “You ok?” Ashley asks. She thought he’d be more excited to hear the news that Malu is going to be fine.

  “Yeah, you look a little out of it,” Malu adds.

  “Yeah… yeah… um…” Kaleo stutters.

  Trying to help him out, Ashley decides to take the lead, “What did Robin say when she heard that Malu got stabbed?”

  “She’s here,” Kaleo replies quickly.

  “Where? Oh shit, am I in trouble?” Malu starts to freak out thinking that Robin is on her way into the room.

  Never wanting to look weak in front of anyone, Kaleo always keep his feelings deep down inside. As the lead bartender of the club, his goal is to remain unbiased and diplomatic when dealing with co-workers and guests’ issues alike. However, there’s a limit for how much any one person can withstand no matter how hard they try.

  Without being able to hold in his emotions anymore, Kaleo bursts into tears. He tries to look away and hides his face, but it’s no use.

  “Oh my God!” Ashley runs over to Kaleo and starts hugging him. Not having a clue what’s on his mind, she asks, “What’s the matter, babe?”

  Unable to get up from his hospital bed, Malu knows something is really bothering Kaleo. “Talk to us, brother. I know you have a lot on your mind. Let it out.”

  Having not allowed himself to cry for months, possibly even a year, Kaleo’s tears come flooding out like water bursting through the Hoover Dam. All the frustration of being 30 and not having a direction in his life to his confusing feelings over Parker and now to Robin, Kaleo can’t hold back any longer. He physically feels a release within himself happening as he starts to catch his breath and calm down.

  Knowing that Kaleo has been struggling internally and putting on a front for awhile, Malu and Ashley sit silently and let him get it all out. Malu just watches while Ashley has her right hand on Kaleo’s lap trying to comfort him. They wait patiently letting him speak when he’s ready.

  After a brief moment, Kaleo looks to his brother and sister-in-law and says, “Sorry.”

  “For what?” Malu counters.

  Finally collecting himself and feeling a bit better, Kaleo’s mind instantly recalls images of Robin lying on the floor, passed out in her office. He looks down, shakes his head and starts to tear up again. He knows he definitely can’t handle this situation on his own.

  Needing strength and encouragement, Kaleo looks his brother right in his eyes and finally speaks, “I think Dad is dying.”

  “What do you mean ‘Dad is dying?’” Malu tries to comprehend Kaleo’s last statement.

  “I don’t know. I went to her office and she was passed out on the floor.” Kaleo starts to cry again, “She was barely breathing… I didn’t know what to do, so I called 911 and rushed her here.”

  * * *

  In the late 80s, long before Robin transitioned into a woman, the gender-confused teenager experienced a lot in a little amount of time. Having just graduated high school and finally feeling free, Robin found herself at a lot of parties. At the time, being known by her birth name, Robert, or Robbie for short, Robbie always knew he was different than the other boys in the party scene.

  Although he never truly came out of the closet, Robbie knew he was always attracted to men. With no real knowledge of transgender people at the time and thinking that there were only two options of ‘straight’ and ‘gay,’ Robbie figured he was gay by default. That is, until one summer party.

  While at a house party one warm summer night, Robbie met his destiny… Rowena. Rowena was the most beautiful girl that Robbie had ever laid eyes on. She had long curly hair that was as brown as her smooth, tanned skin. She had a nice pair of boobs, a thin waist and a big butt that made the boys go wild. She was a local boy’s dream and Robbie was that local boy.

  Rowena was a party girl and loved going out. She was a lot of fun, but got into a lot of trouble. You never knew what was going to happen when Rowena was around. For some reason, that sort of spontaneity and danger, mixed with her gorgeous looks really attracted Robbie to her. He was enamored with her, but this confused Robbie completely. At an age where hormones are raging and everyone is trying to figure out their sexual identity, Robbie decided that maybe his ‘gay-ness’ was just a phase.

  Looking like a young Duke Kahanamoku, Robbie was a good-looking guy and Rowena quickly took notice. They started to hang around each other, partying together, getting into trouble, fooling around and before they knew it, they were a couple.

  Four short years and three sons later, the couple had rapidly become a family of five. Now in their early twenties and suddenly parents of three beautifully brown baby boys, reality set in. They had no money and no life to call their own.

  With their fun careless nights having long faded away and Robbie starting to feel attracted to men again, it was then that Robbie realized that he didn't want to be with Rowena, but instead, he wanted to be her; not Rowena specifically, but he now understood that he longed to be a woman. His obsession with Rowena’s curvy body was because he wanted female curves of his own. He wanted long curly hair and feminine facial features. He always knew he was different than the other boys and having never really felt right in his body, he finally knew why.

  After doing the hard task of confessing his truth to Rowena, Robbie began his journey toward becoming a female. Rowena tried her best to handle the predicament, but the weight of motherhood and having a partner come out as transgender se
nt her into a downward spiral. Being too much for her at such a young age, Rowena started to party again to drown the pain of reality. Little by little, Rowena got into harder and harder drugs. She would go missing for a day or two at a time and soon enough, she completely ran away.

  Now being a single parent with three young sons to take care of, Robbie knew he couldn’t do it alone. With the help of his mom, who raised Robbie as a single parent herself, Robbie was able to provide for his sons and complete his transition toward becoming female. However, knowing that he was the biggest factor in Rowena’s disappearance, Robbie has always harbored a feeling of guilt.

  * * *

  “Wait, where is she? Is she here?” Malu asks in reference to Robin.

  “Yeah, they took her into the operating room,” Kaleo responds. “I wasn’t allowed in there, so I’ve been waiting until I was given the green light.”

  “Well, let’s go see her.” Malu takes out his IVs and gets out of his hospital bed.

  “Malu, what are you doing?!” Ashley shrieks.

  “I just said they wouldn’t let me in. They’re not gonna let you in either,” Kaleo tries to reason with his brother.

  “Listen to yourself! Our dad might die. That’s what you just said, right? I’m not gonna just sit around until she does. I’m gonna see her, whether they let me or not.” Malu turns around and walks out of the room.

  Knowing that Malu is right, Kaleo and Ashley look at each other and then quickly head out of the room trying to catch up to him.

  24. Liquid Marijuana

  - 3/4 oz Spiced Rum

  - 3/4 oz Midori Melon Liqueur

  - 3/4 oz Malibu Coconut Rum

  - 3/4 oz Blue Curaçao

  - 1 oz Sweet & Sour

  - 1 oz Pineapple Juice

  Back at Violet, the fundraiser is over and the night has come to an end. The guests have left and the staff clean up the aftermath.