Heading For A New Life

by Margaret Smith

  — Waiting for a refill? She asked tensely, hoping that Denise herself would guess: they had nothing to talk about.

  — Yes. A smile lit up Denise's face. - After two months. Another boy.

  — Congratulations. Laura nodded dryly and turned to the Wheel.

  — You look great, ”Denise said. - What's up?

  — It could have been better.

  —Understand. - Laura threw an angry look in her direction, and Denise hastily added: - Really, I understand. Trust Chris, it's hard too.

  — You ... - at the mere sound of his name, everything inside froze, ached with a dull pain. - Do you communicate with him?

  — He calls once a month, ”Denise nodded. “Sorry, I know he can't mess with you.

  — But you could contact, - Laura could not resist. The pain, hidden deep and, it seemed, for a long time, broke out with angry tears that gleamed in his eyes. - You could say that he is doing well. I could. But why do that, right? Who am I to know how he lives, how he lives. I'm just the one who got involved in a dangerous adventure and almost put me back in jail! - The voice broke into a scream, several couples at the distant tables looked around, and Laura hastily lowered her eyes, breathing heavily. - He deleted me from his life, and I can understand that. One thing I can’t understand - you know what it’s like to lose him. You could at least once say that everything is fine with him, - Laura literally whispered the last words, raising her tearful eyes to Denise.

  — Sorry. To her surprise, Denise's eyes sparkled as well. - I really couldn't. At first we were warned that they would track any of your non-work related contacts. If I contacted you, they would contact us. Do you understand through us and Chris?

  — And then?

  — And then he asked not to look for you.

  — Clear. - A few words, and the ground swayed under my feet, and I had to cling to the edge of the table so as not to fall. All the dreams, all the hopes with which she lived for these one and a half years, crumbled to dust and now flew away, driven by the light sea breeze. She got it right - he really doesn't need her.

  — What can you understand! Denise snorted bitterly. Taking the salt shaker in her hand, she rolled it around the table several times before speaking again. “He didn't want you to suffer. I didn't want to deprive you of your usual life, make you give up everything and leave for the unknown.

  — He could just ask me for a start, ”Laura answered her tone. - Just ask if I want to be with him.

  — And you?..

  — What's the difference? Laura snapped. - What difference does it make to you what I want? Chris is alone, he is free, you could be with him, why didn't you want to? I'm sure David could hide you too, take the children and go!

  — Fool, ”Denise grinned benignly. - Even if I didn't have Mark and I didn't

  I would love him to the point of insanity, even if I had no children who do not understand life without dad, I would never go anywhere for Chris. - She leaned over the table and said confidentially: - At least because he loves you. And trust me, for Chris, love is not an empty phrase.

  The new discovery was almost completely exhausted. Laura exhaled weakly and leaned back in her chair, nodding gratefully to the waiter who brought the long-awaited martini. Denise ordered apple juice, and after waiting for the waiter to leave, Laura spoke up again: “Why then did he leave me?

  — He did not abandon you, but let you go. Denise sighed. “You know, this guy has a too keen sense of justice. Even it seems to me that sometimes it is too much. As I got it into my head that you would be bad with him, I could not convince him. Trust me, I tried.

  — Did you talk about me? Laura leaned forward eagerly.

  — Every time he calls, he asks about you. You have no idea how funny his attempts to pretend that he is not interested in you at all sound, but every time he tries to casually ask: "Have you seen Laura?" Or: "Heard nothing from David?" It's like I'm talking to him. Denise suddenly became serious and said harshly:

  — I don't know how you really feel about him, but if you love him even half as much as he does - for God's sake, get him out of the hole into which he drove himself.

  There is nothing to do in Louisiana in July: every tourist who plans to travel around the country on vacation knows this. So now the port of Baton Rouge was relatively quiet and uncrowded, apart from the daily hustle and bustle, forklifts, barges and small pleasure boats, barely half full. Yachts and boats swayed in the dark brown waves, long-tailed Spanish moss touched the water, spreading its fluffy gray hair, and the air buzzed with gnats. Hiding in the shade of a cypress tree that stretched its branches over the Mississippi, Chris sat in a small folding chair with his legs stretched out and his arms behind his head. A beige panama hid half of his face, a motley blue and white short-sleeved shirt revealing a tanned chest and upper abs, and long legs took up half of the upper deck. From the outside it might seem that he is resting after a long day of work.

  The last year and a half flew by like an instant, and his heart still tugged at the memory of the circumstances under which he saw Laura for the last time. He could remember for minutes that day, her tired, sickly appearance, her frightened eyes, with which she looked at him, as if with one wave of his hand right now he would solve all problems. Time after time, Chris replayed every step in his head, realizing that he had done everything in his power. Circumstances were against them from the very beginning, and Chris had long forgotten how to regret what could no longer be changed.

  But Laura's trembling voice sounded in his head at night, and the nightmares in which he could not save her became constant companions. Waking up from his own scream, Chris went out to the window and watched the wisps of fog float down the river, forcing himself to believe that all this is in the past. Laura is alive and safe, she returned to normal life and gradually, of this he was sure, forgets him. Introducing Laura with another man has become a separate form of torture, carried out in all circles of hell. Realizing that he himself cannot be there, Chris

  I sincerely wished her happiness, but the pictures of this happiness, carefree, sincere, the one in which he is not, caused unbearable pain.

  Previously, he had no idea how you can need a person so badly. Even Jennifer's death did not bring so much pain of loss. He suffered from the fact that he took her life, but his own position made him think about himself, not about her. However, now that he had lost Laura, Chris felt he had lost a part of himself, perhaps the most important part. When did it become so necessary?

  Arranging in a new place, buying a small house and a pleasure boat, obtaining a license - life distracted him from heavy thoughts, sometimes he just fell exhausted and fell into a heavy sleep. But when there was no work, as, for example, today, the pain returned with renewed vigor, burned under the skin, curled up in a snake ball in the stomach.

  Chris sighed heavily and froze, listening - quiet footsteps echoed across the deck, the careful clatter of heels. From under the brim of his hat, Chris could make out only white open sandals, neat toes covered with pale pink varnish and slender legs to the knee. The stranger stopped, waiting for his reaction, and Chris pulled the panama over the back of his head, intending to say that the ship was not going anywhere today.

  The words stuck in his throat, and his stomach suddenly became empty, as if he was flying down at great speed. Laura stood in front of him, a few steps away, nervously clutching a wide-brimmed straw hat. Chris got up abruptly, knocking over the chair in which he was sitting, and took a step towards him, but his legs suddenly gave up, as if they were rooted to the deck. He looked at her hungrily, absorbing every tiny detail, like a man who first saw his sight after long years of blindness. Light blue dress up to the knees, tanned shoulders, barely covered with wide straps, chest rising from heavy breathing ... Laura answered in the same way: she was silent, glancing feverishly, lingering on the regrown beard, which Chris nervously tried to smooth it over.

  —Hello,-hoarselyspokeis heandquietcoughed, clearing a suddenly dry throat.<
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  Laura nodded, her voice disobedient, her heart pounding, jumping up to her throat. She was so afraid that he would chase her away. That now another will come out of the cabin, destroying her last hope. But time passed, counting the seconds, which seemed like eternity, and no one showed up. Chris couldn't take his eyes off her, feeling an uncontrollable urge to touch her, touch her right now. Feel that she is real, alive. But for the first time, a year and a half became not just a sound, but a quite tangible number of months, days, hours and minutes spent apart. How has her life changed, what exactly does she feel about him now and did she feel anything at all before, because they never raised this question? Perhaps the past remained the past for her: two months of his work and several crazy days and nights, spent together? These thoughts rushed through his head, and Chris exhaled softly and tried to smile at ease.

  — I'm glad to see you.

  — I wanted to surprise you, - Laura smiled nervously, and the hat in her hand danced, merging into a bright white circle.

  — The surprise was a success. - Chris nodded to the wheelhouse, through the open door of which the dashboard was visible. - Today it's hot. I can suggest iced tea or juice.

  — Orange?

  Something flickered in his eyes, but Laura didn’t catch their expression. Chris nodded and fell silent, waiting for her answer. She didn't even immediately understand what exactly he was waiting for - she was staring at him, so incredibly close and distant at the same time. Denise said he loved her. There was no reason not to believe her, but what if he doesn't love her, but ... Did he?

  — I'll have tea, thanks, ”she finally responded. Chris entered the wheelhouse, and Laura had no choice but to follow. Through the opposite door was a staircase leading down to the stateroom and galley, where Chris headed, still without a word.

  He heard that she was following him. He could even swear that he felt her breath, but could not bring himself to turn around, fearing that he would break loose and hug him, despite any protests. Will press and will never be able to let go.

  — It's cozy here, ”Laura said quietly, looking around the tiny room, no more than five square yards. Two hanging shelves, a sink, a stove with one burner and a gas cylinder underneath, a single-compartment refrigerator and a narrow cutting table with a three-legged stool. Chris snorted without turning around, took out a jug of tea, instantly covered with a cool haze, and reached for a glass.

  — There is enough room for one, - as if apologizing, he said and turned, holding out a glass.

  — And for two? Laura glared at him and froze, waiting for an answer.

  — There are never so many people here at the same time, ”Chris smiled, but the smile never went beyond his lips.

  — Why? - Taking a tiny step, Laura took the glass, accidentally brushing his fingers with her own.

  — Habit. - Chris looked into her amazing cat eyes and felt that he was sinking, sinking like a stone to the very bottom. My heart was beating so loudly that I could only wonder - how did Laura not hear this beat? The air in this tiny closet was rapidly ending, a drop of sweat rolled down my back, immediately absorbing into my shirt. It was necessary to go out into the fresh air. Letting her out of his lungs, moving back to a safe distance, trying to maintain a friendly conversation, but Chris could not do either one or the other, or the third, with each new breath he was soaked in her, her scent.

  Laura raised the glass to her lips, and he involuntarily held his gaze on them and exhaled softly as she took a sip and set the glass on the table.

  — You know, I thought I would never see you again. Laura took another step, and now they were only a couple of feet apart.

  — Me too, ”Chris echoed. Every cell of the body tensed, reached out to her, dreaming to touch. The hand itself rose to her hair: to feel their softness, pass between her fingers. Laura closed her eyes, leaning towards the careful caress, and the warmth from his touch spread from the neck to the spine, filling from within.

  — Why did you come, Laura? - Chris whispered, lifting her chin and forcing her to open her eyes. - It could be dangerous.

  — David assured that no, - she also switched to a whisper, she responded. - I came to you. To be with you. If ... if you please ...

  He pulled her to him abruptly, without answering, biting into his lips with a deep, greedy kiss. Laura groaned into his mouth, leaning forward with her whole body, forcing him to retreat to the sink. If a hurricane began now, lightning struck the ship, even then she would not be able to

  come off him. Drinking his taste, unable to get drunk, kissing again and again, whispering incoherent scraps of phrases about how bored, how much he missed. Chris literally squeezed her into himself, feverishly sliding his hands over her back and shoulders, tearing himself away from his lips to cover the cheekbones, neck with short kisses, and kissing again passionately, hot. Laura's palms burned his chest, spreading his shirt to the sides, rising higher to the neck. Chris caught her wrists and forced himself to pull away with difficulty, breathing hard.

  — If you say now that you cannot continue, that you are afraid for me, or something like that, ”Laura said in a broken voice,“ I will kill you, Christopher Labert, I swear!

  — No, - Chris smiled, also remembering how he fled headlong from her apartment after the same dizzying kisses. He touched her forehead with his: - I wanted to say that there is a bed here, it is much more comfortable on it.

  — Do you think I can think of convenience now? - It seemed to Laura that her wings had grown, and a feeling of light, playful permissiveness tickled in her nose. She put her hand on his groin, watching in fascination as his dark brown eyes turned completely black. Chris exhaled noisily as her hand went down and then up over his throbbing cock. His hand fell on her waist, and suddenly he abruptly turned her back and pushed her, forcing her to take several steps forward along the corridor, continuously covering her neck and shoulders with kisses. Laura rubbed her hips against him, eliciting another breath, and pushed open the door.

  The cabin turned out to be a little larger than the galley, but there really was a bed, narrow, barely able to accommodate two, and taking up most of the space. Above it was a porthole, and a hot, humid wind flew through the half-open glass, bringing the smell of water and algae. Chris's hands went down to his thighs, pulling the dress up, leaving glowing streaks on his body where his fingers touched the bare skin. Laura lifted her hands to help him and turned around, remaining in one silk bra and tiny silk panties. Pulling on a single button, she pulled the shirt off his shoulders, tossed it aside and leaned against his chest, kissing, clutching the skin with her lips, tracing circles on his stomach. Fire was blazing inside, a searing thirst that only he could satisfy.

  Chris tugged at the lace on his shorts, but it got tangled, he had to tear himself away from her, unraveling the knot with fingers trembling with impatience. The shorts, along with the underwear, fell to his feet, he stepped over them, pushing Laura to the bed, with one click unbuttoning the hooks on her back, covering the chest that was free with his palms, slightly squeezing, passing between the fingers sharp nipples. Laura arched, running her hands into his thick, soft hair, leaving pale streaks on his shoulders, biting into them so as not to fall - her head was spinning, it seemed, the cabin was floating and spinning before my eyes.

  She bit her lip, hard, almost to the point of blood, fearing that this was a dream, and right now she would wake up. But Chris was still there, breathing sweetly, caressing her breasts, diving his fingers under the thin elastic of her panties, impatiently pulling them down. Laura dragged him along, sinking onto the bed, throwing her leg over his back. Chris loomed over her, put his hand under her buttock, the other resting on the bed next to her face, and slowly entered, halfway, with a painful groan. Laura watched, fascinated, as the Adam's apple rolled under her skin, how her shoulders tensed, muscles bulging, and a wrinkle lay between her eyebrows.

  — I love you, - he breathed, jerkily entering to the end. Short, intermittent,

&n
bsp; Laura's rhythmic moans mingled with his heavy breathing. She surrendered to him again and again, enjoying every moment of the long-awaited intimacy, feeling him so deliciously deep within herself. His every movement, every push emanated from somewhere from the depths of his soul, shameless, vulgar sounds, and Chris reveled in this music, admiring it: his eyes closed, his lips, which now and then ran the tip of his pink tongue, his chest bouncing in time with the movement of his hips ... He tried to slow down the pleasure that shocked his spine, confusing thoughts, tried to think about something other than a woman wriggling under him, intermittently whispering pleading not to stop, but the body demanded a release, immediate, bright, deafening ...

  — West Point, as I understand it, are you a little busy right now? Came a mocking voice from the deck, like a bucket of icy water poured over his head. Chris froze abruptly, gasping for breath, Laura opened her eyes and frowned as she turned towards the door.

  — I understood correctly, ”Chris said abruptly, turning to Laura and slowly outlining a circle with his hips. She gasped, spreading her legs wider, silently praying for him to repeat, and when the movement was repeated, she moaned, feeling the tiny electrical shocks begin to tingle at her body and weakness spreading down her legs, focusing on where their bodies joined.

  — Wow! I hope you will reveal a couple of secrets to me later! - again came the cheerful voice. Chris barked:

  — Fuck you, Tony! - realizing that even a few seconds more, and nothing in the world will be able to stop him, even if the accursed Mexican will go into the cabin right now and start giving advice. But there was no more sound from the deck, although the football team had settled in there now, hardly Laura or Chris noticed it. Approaching orgasm, they moved towards each other, forcing the bed to creak pitifully, not seeing or hearing anyone except the eyes in front of them, except for the groans that broke off on a high note, making them choke on air.