Switch (Black Ties Book 2)

by Brynn Ford

  “Thank you, Jasper.”

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m happy to take care of you. Probably a little too happy.”

  “You and your dominant ways. You always did have a talent for taking care of your girls,” I put on an amused grin.

  "It's been a long time since I've had a submissive of my own to care for, yes. But it's not just that. I'm happy to take care of you, Ris. Specifically, you. If something had happened to you…"

  He trailed off, getting lost somewhere behind his blue eyes. I knew the connection he was making. I knew the path his thoughts were following. I could see him working to backtrack along that path and avoid going there.

  "Something did happen to me,” I said, “But I'm here. I'm alive. I'd be here in this hospital bed whether you had been with me or not. Asher wanted to harm me. He's been abusive. You didn't know so you couldn't protect me. There weren't any signs you missed. I hid all of it from you, from everyone, from myself. So don't go putting the responsibility of what Asher did to me on your shoulders. You've got a big enough ego as it is," I smiled.

  "I don't want to fail you, sweetheart. I don't want to lose anyone else that I care about."

  "You're not going to lose me. Look. I'm fine. I'm used to pain. My body will heal. Asher's in custody now and I’m safe again. I'll be okay. But Desi. Desi needs you."

  "She needs you, too, Ris."

  "And that's why I'm going to heal up quickly and get the hell out of here so I can be there for her," I gave him a serious look, "I'm good, Law. I promise you. You can take care of me, but you've got to stop with the worries and the what-ifs. Those are gonna break me. They're gonna break you."

  "Nothing can break me," he smiled arrogantly, but it wavered.

  "Oh really?" I said, "Not even a brunette you like to call Blue? You seemed a little bent to me for a while there."

  He cleared his throat, "No comment,” he said, then took a drink.

  "That's what I thought."

  I closed my eyes and wished I could drift into a deep, comfortable sleep. I could only hope for a dreamless, pain free slumber that would take me away from all of the shit piling up on my plate. I had so many people depending on me and the burden had felt overwhelming before I got hit by a car.

  I would have to do something I really wasn’t used to. I'd have to rely on the people around me to help. I couldn't tackle it all alone now and that admission to myself was more painful than all of the aches in my damaged body combined.

  "You need to sleep," Law said.

  I opened my eyes to gaze up at him, now standing, looking down at me. For the moment, I was grateful that he was paying such close attention to me and able to anticipate my needs. It was kind of nice to fall back into that with him. His dominance was the one soldier that could combat my endless stubbornness when it came to my personal needs. I would let him have that power over me for now while I was healing, knowing we would both see the benefits.

  "Yeah," I agreed quietly with a small nod.

  "Do you want the bed down?"

  "Please."

  "Too many pillows or not enough?"

  "Too many behind my head, not enough under my arm."

  I lifted my head as he reached beneath to pull out one of the pillows, then raised my elbow lightly as he tucked it beneath my arm instead.

  "Is that better?" he asked.

  "Much. Thank you."

  The nurse came back in with a new morphine drip bag, telling me that the on-call doctor approved a higher dose. I was glad Law had gone to ask for it because my pain was worsening as moments passed. She left and Law watched me with strong, caring eyes.

  "Get some rest, Angel. I'll stay with you."

  I already knew that he would, but somehow, hearing him say it gave me such relief. I wanted him to stay.

  "You don't need to work?"

  Law worked the night shift as the owner of several night clubs in the city. My nighttime was his daytime.

  "You need me more. You're far more important than work, sweetheart."

  That pulled a feeling from deep within me, flipping my stomach and tightening in my chest, not painfully, but hopefully. That verbal affirmation of my position within his life was heartwarming, to say the least. He was a bit of a workaholic, just like me, and would normally be spending the graveyard hours out working at any one of the clubs he owned downtown. I wanted to give him affirmation in return, something that would do the same thing to his insides.

  So I said, "Thank you, Sir."

  Sir.

  It was the one and only word he needed to hear to know that he was respected, trusted. It was the one word that could convey devotion and appreciation for him. The broad smile he gave to me told me it was exactly what he needed to hear and I was happy to give him that for everything he had given me that awful day.

  Friendship.

  Comfort.

  Safety.

  Respite.

  "Quiet now, Angel. Go to sleep," he ordered as he sat back down in his chair.

  With a deep, calming breath, I let my eyes flutter shut and breathed steadily, in and out, over and over, until the first round of uncomfortable, disrupted sleep crept in for the most restless slumber of my life.

  Chapter 3

  Law

  Ris struggled to sleep that first night in the hospital. She tossed and turned, groaned and whimpered, and just couldn't seem to get comfortable. It made my muscles twitch to witness the way she struggled to get the one thing she needed so desperately.

  Sleep.

  My foot shook rapidly where it rested, crossed over my knee. It was unbelievably frustrating that I had no control over this. I'd done everything I could do to help make her comfortable, adjusting her pillows, getting her a warm blanket, hunting down chamomile tea that she always drank to relax in the evenings. But sleep evaded her, and it pissed me off.

  Sleep was like a stubborn submissive that shirked discipline and duty that night. I took it personally that my power to control it seemed stripped from me. The thought, of course, was ridiculous and irrational. It was arrogant to presume my actions held responsibility for her comfort and ability to fall asleep given the circumstances. But my dominance had always afforded me the ability to shape my submissives' environments in such a way as to influence their state of mind, whether to arouse them, sweep them up into anxiety, frustration, or calm them into deep relaxation or slumber.

  Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control and my mind threatened to follow suit if I couldn't get things under control soon.

  Christine's twin brother, Callen, got a flight from Michigan to Chicago early the next day. He arrived at the hospital around seven that morning and I met him in the hallway when Ris seemed to finally be getting something resembling sleep.

  Callen breezed down the hallway in a flurry, his vivacious energy demanding to take up all the space around him. I knew he would be agitated and probably loud, so I stepped outside her room and pulled the door shut when he texted me from the lobby.

  Callen was still a good ten steps away when he projected his unnecessarily loud voice at me.

  "Where is my sister? How is she? Is she okay? God, no, of course she's not okay! Is she awake? Tell me everything that happened, Jasper!"

  I grinned, always amused by his incessant energy, but then stiffened at his approach. He invaded my personal space without slowing his pace and threw his arms around me in a tight hug. I hugged him back, but not nearly as aggressively.

  "She's finally asleep," I told him hurriedly, "Don't wake her. She's had a rough night."

  He stepped back, finally, thankfully lowering his voice, "Oh, God, what did the doctors say? Is she going to be okay?"

  I nodded, holding up my palm to push back at the overwhelming force of his energy, "She's going to be okay. She's in a lot of pain, had a restless night, and is only just now starting to get the rest she needs. So don't just rush in there and be all," I waved my hand down the length of his form, "You."

  He nod
ded vigorously, "Yes, okay, I know exactly what you mean."

  By nine that morning, Ris was awake again. She and Callen insisted that I go home and get some rest and he would stay with her until I could come back that evening. Ris foolishly tried to convince me that I didn't need to drop everything and be there for her, but I wasn't putting up with that nonsense.

  What's the point in having best friends if they don't drop everything to be there for you in times like these?

  I arrived back at Desi's apartment by ten, because I needed to take care of her, too. If I didn't check in on her regularly, she didn't eat. I wasn't about to let depression sneak in and ruin her life when she was finally finding herself. I wasn't going to make that mistake again.

  Not like I had with Audrey Adams.

  Shit. Don’t think about her. Not now.

  I was pleasantly shocked to find that Desi wasn't still lying on her living room floor. Her bedroom door was left wide open and I could see her lying in her bed, snug beneath the covers. My lips couldn’t help but curl up in response to the sight of her. She looked so damn young there in her bed, so innocent, so needy of protection and care.

  Like Audrey.

  I slipped off my shoes and padded across the floor, climbing onto the bed to sit beside her. I didn't dare lie down there, not on their bed. That bed belonged to Desi and Vaughn and I had respect for that. But sitting beside her to watch over her while she slept felt decidedly necessary.

  I leaned my head back against the wall as I stretched out my legs on top of their dark blue down comforter, being careful not to disturb Desi. I closed my eyes, tired, but not ready for sleep just yet. I still had to tell her what had happened to Ris. Desi spoke unexpectedly when I let out an audible sigh.

  "I was awake when you came in, you know," she whispered, as if it were a secret she was afraid to share.

  "No, I didn't know," and I was surprised I hadn't realized it.

  "I know something's wrong. You were gone all night," she rolled over to face me, "Is it Vaughn? What could it possibly be now?"

  She looked so dejected, as if I were holding a needle to a balloon she'd just been given and threatening to stab it. I was about to burst that balloon, but not in any way she could expect.

  "There is something I need to tell you, but it doesn't have to do with Vaughn. Nothing's changed with Vaughn."

  "Oh?"

  I reached out to stroke the side of her head, my fingers catching in the tangles of the messy updo she'd worn to bed.

  "She's okay, but there was an accident, with Ris."

  "What?" she sat up so fast, I worried she might topple out of bed.

  I put my hand on her shoulder and stroked gently up and down her arm, "Ris got hit by a car yesterday leaving work."

  Desi's hand clamped over her mouth and she said a muffled, "Oh, God," as her beautiful brown eyes went wide.

  "She's okay. She was awake and talking. Had a rough night's sleep, but she's alive. She'll heal. I promise you, Blue, she'll be just fine."

  She nodded as tears welled in her eyes and started to slip from one corner. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away from her mouth before taking her cheeks in both hands, swiping the stray tear away with my thumb.

  "Asher followed her out of work and pushed her. He pushed her in front of a car, and she got hit.”

  “Oh, my, God!”

  “It’s okay. He’s in custody now. They’re going to charge him. There’s no way he’s getting out on bail again. He's going to get what he deserves now."

  “But…Ris is okay?”

  “Yes, she’s fine. In a lot of pain, but fine.”

  She nodded again, remaining silent. I could see she was fighting the tears, tired of crying over the unexpected in her life. I didn't blame her, I'd be sick of it, too.

  "I don't wanna cry anymore," she whispered, looking at me with a desperate expression.

  "I know, sweetheart.”

  She fell from my grasp as she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly and pressing her face to my chest. I held her quietly for a while, hoping that at the very least, my presence and strength would remind her that I was here and ready to take care of her.

  "She's not alone now, is she?"

  "No, her brother is with her."

  "The twin?"

  "Yeah, Callen."

  "Good. Okay. I need to go see her.”

  "She'd like that," I sighed, "I need to get some sleep."

  Desi sat back, pulling away to look at me, "I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of this, with all of our shit."

  "It's not shit. It's just life."

  "Same thing, right?"

  She gave me a tiny half smile and it was enough to light up the room for me. Desi had so many dark times of late, but when she lit up, her brightness was infectious. I fought the physical urge to lift her onto my lap, to touch her, kiss her, show her she was cared for.

  She's not mine.

  She belongs to Vaughn.

  Desi scooted her ass back to sit next to me, both of us leaning against the wall where a headboard should have been. I made a mental note to buy them an actual bed as a homecoming present for Vaughn’s release from jail, though who the fuck knew when that would be.

  Desi looked at her hands in her lap, "Vaughn asked me to do something when I talked to him on the phone yesterday. I should say, V asked me to do something."

  "Did you do it?"

  "I hadn't intended to, but maybe he's right."

  "What did he ask you to do?”

  "He said I should sublet the apartment and move in with you."

  It wasn't notable that Vaughn had come to the same conclusion I had about Desi's living situation, but it was interesting he had gotten there so quickly. Maybe Desi had been right when she told me she thought Vaughn had already lost hope.

  Desi couldn't afford this apartment on her part-time income alone. Though I hoped for the best for Vaughn and knew Ris would do everything in her power to get him out of jail quickly, we all knew there was a possibility that Vaughn could go away for a long time. If he received a long sentence, Desi's living situation would certainly need to be addressed. But if he wanted to address it now, it was fine by me.

  "I agree with him," I said.

  "You agree?" she turned her head to look at me with surprise.

  "Honestly, it would make my life a whole hell of a lot easier, sweetheart. With Ris in the hospital and you here, it's a lot of back and forth for me to keep tabs on both of you. I want to take care of you both, I'm happy to, but if you can honor your man's wishes and make things easier on me at the same time, I would really appreciate it."

  "It's hard for me."

  "I know it is. But you know it's only temporary, Blue. Vaughn's not going to be there forever."

  "I don't want to leave my home. Our home."

  "It's just a sublet. As soon as he gets out, you both can move back in. Together."

  She hung her head and looked at her fingers as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. I reached over and tapped beneath her chin with two fingers, encouraging her to lift her head.

  "Hey, chin up, sweetheart. We don’t have to make any decisions right now. Why don’t you plan on going to seeing Ris later this afternoon? I'll get some sleep here and we'll talk more about it tonight."

  Desi nodded, "You don't have to stay here with me. You can go home. I'll be okay."

  "If it's all the same to you, I really don't feel like going all the way back across town right now. I'm exhausted and I really just want to pass out on your couch for the next eight hours or so."

  "Of course, it's fine. You don't have to sleep on the couch, though. You can sleep here."

  "No, I really can't,” I told her.

  "Why not?"

  "This isn't my bed, Desi. It belongs to you and Vaughn and I'm not going to disrespect him like that."

  Her forehead wrinkled in consideration and it was cute as hell.

  Fucking adorable.
<
br />   "I guess I can’t convince you it’s okay?”

  “No, so don’t even bother.”

  I leaned over to kiss her forehead before scooting away from her and climbing off the bed.

  “Get some coffee. Eat some breakfast. Take a shower,” I pulled out my phone and typed a quick text to her with the details of how to find Ris at the hospital, “I just sent you the room number so you can go find Ris this afternoon. Wake me before you go and text me the moment you get there so I know you’re okay. Understood, Blue?”

  She looked at me silently and for a moment I seriously thought she was going to argue with me. Part of me wanted her to, the sadistic part that wanted to control and dominate her even though she wasn’t mine to control and dominate.

  This is what gave me a never-ending headache in all this shit. Vaughn had me promise to take care of Desi in his absence, which I was ecstatic to do. But it was a fine line because Desi and Vaughn had only recently decided to enter into a power exchange relationship as a part of their everyday lives. Since he’d been arrested, everything shifted.

  Desi still wanted, and clearly needed, dominance and direction, but she had chosen to be submissive to Vaughn, she’d chosen to be his. It was a beautiful thing to see their relationship blossoming as they found the balance that worked for them together. It was heartbreaking when they were suddenly ripped apart, just as they were figuring things out.

  I felt responsible to fulfill my promise to Vaughn, to take care of Desi, but it made it so easy for me to step across the boundary line with her again and disrespect their marriage. I wanted her. I was starting to feel like I needed her.

  As a dominant, it would be my greatest challenge yet to strike a balance between leading her with a firm hand and avoiding taking advantage of the delicate situation.

  Good thing I was always up for a challenge.

  But, goddamn, those chocolate diamond eyes and the way they looked at me, seeking me out for strength when hers was lost. They threatened to undo me every fucking time.

  Finally, she spoke, “Understood.”