Switch (Black Ties Book 2)

by Brynn Ford

  “Well, I’m gonna get you a damn crown. And you’re not gonna settle for a man who does anything other than straighten it for you when it’s crooked.”

  “Or put it back on when it’s fallen off,” Law added in a contrite, calm tone.

  We both lifted our heads to look up at him. His eyebrows slanted inward as his eyelids drooped in sadness, lips curling softly downward in a frown. I had never seen such heartache in him, at least not since he told me about Audrey Adams.

  Law stepped toward us, squatting down to his haunches in front of Ris. I felt her body stiffen as he came closer, gazing into her eyes with sincerity and severity that must have smoldered her insides.

  “You don’t deserve the shit he’s putting you through, Angel. It’s all unnecessary bullshit. He tried to kill you. He’s been abusing you. And that bitch he hired is trying to make you look bad. As if his actions could ever be justified. It won’t work. The defense is shit and you know it. He won’t win.”

  Ris hesitated to respond, then spoke slowly, “He won’t win the trial. I know that. But he’s just won at ruining me. My reputation. No one will ever take me seriously again.”

  “Ris –”

  She moved abruptly, lifting herself from the floor and straightening her skirt as she stood. Law and I stood with her and he took a step back.

  “I’m sorry Black Ties got dragged into this, Law. I hope it won’t be detrimental to the members. Or to business in general.”

  What’s this shift?

  Ris had gone cold and business-like in a matter of seconds. It was troublesome.

  Law shared an unsure look with me before returning his attention to Ris as she lifted one foot behind her to slip on one black stiletto pump, then the other.

  “I don’t give a fuck about business at Black Ties. I’m only concerned with you.”

  “I appreciate the concern. I really do,” Ris wiped her palms on her skirt, “I can’t handle you right now, Law.”

  “Can’t handle me?”

  “This is too much for me. This trial. Digging into my past. I’m forced to think of you, of us, of how things were before I met Asher and you let me leave for him. It’s haunting me and now I feel broken. From this trial, from you. You say you can’t give me what I need from you and then you send me mixed signals, holding my hand, feeding me strength as if I were truly yours. I just…I need some space from you, Jasper. Please. You’re still making me fall for you though you refuse to fall for me,” fresh tears welled in her eyes, her voice rising subtly, “So, no, I can’t handle you right now.”

  “Don’t do this,” Law ran his fingers through his hair, “I’m just trying to help. I want to be here for you.”

  Ris pulled her shoulders back, though they trembled, “Not in the way I need. You’ve made that crystal clear. And I can’t deal with the pain of that right now. I can’t be your sub,” she turned to look back at me, “I’m so sorry, Desi, I know that puts you in an awkward position, it means I can’t be your dominant right now either.”

  “I don’t expect anything from you, Ris,” I told her honestly, “I want you to be okay. But I'm still going to take care of you, with or without you asking me to.”

  Ris smiled at me, pinching my jaw briefly between her thumb and forefinger, “I know you are, sweetie, because you're perfect like that. I know you understand what I need.”

  She released me and turned back to Law, shaking her head, “But you don’t. And because of that, I need you to let me out of my contract. I need you to let me be while I get through this.”

  I audibly gasped and immediately slapped my hand over my mouth. There was a beat of silence, the pressure of it was painful.

  Law was meek when he spoke, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “It's the only thing I'm sure about right now.”

  Law’s chest heaved and I imagined his heart thumping wildly in his chest as he turned his head to avoid looking at her, “Consider it done. Can I at least make sure you get home okay?”

  “No, Jasper. No.”

  “I’ll come with you,” I blurted, hoping she would allow me to be there for her, worried because she had just cut Law to size so dramatically.

  Ris nodded and gave me a small, pained smile, “We’ll sneak out the back stairwell, try to avoid reporters.”

  “Christine,” Law’s shoulders slumped as he shoved his hands in his pockets, making him look smaller, “If you decide to call –”

  “I know,” she replied, “You’ll answer.”

  She was so withdrawn from him already, so instantaneously, it made me want to cry again.

  What’s happening?

  Why is this happening?

  She stepped past him, leaving as much physical space between them as she could in a custodial closet and my breath caught in my chest.

  I felt torn between them.

  Ris was literally shattering to pieces in the public eye.

  Law was slipping, unsure, losing his cool.

  I wanted to be there for both of them and was forced to make a choice. I owed Law so much for what he had done for me at my lowest point. I wanted to be there for him, submit to him, let him hurt me to ease his own pain. But I had to choose Ris. She needed me the most.

  I smiled at Law as I stepped past him to follow Ris out into the hidden hallway. He grabbed my elbow, holding me in place. He swallowed hard as he let his sadness grow into hurt, then blossom into anger that would need to be released.

  "Come home tonight. If you can. Please. After she's asleep. I need you, Blue."

  I didn’t say anything, just gave him a hug around the waist. I followed Ris toward a stairwell nearby and we hustled out of the building together.

  * * * * *

  Ris curled up into a ball on her bed the moment we got back to her place. She broke down so completely that my mind had been entirely absorbed in helping her, caring for her. Eventually she fell asleep and I crept out of her bedroom just in time to hear my cell phone ringing from my purse in the kitchen. It was time for Vaughn's nightly phone call and I would never miss that.

  I stepped across the hallway to enter her cozy, all white, galley style kitchen and lifted my phone just in time. I said, "Hello," into the speaker, waiting for the customary recorded message from Cook County Jail to play through before accepting the call and hearing my husband's voice.

  "Hey, baby,” Vaughn crooned into the line, the way he always did, and I went weak in the knees at the sound of it, the way I always did.

  "Hey, babe," I sighed, "I needed to hear your voice so bad today."

  "Not every day?" he joked.

  I smiled, "You know what I mean."

  "I do. So," he paused, "Let me take a big leap and guess. You're with Ris tonight?"

  "Yeah, she had to testify against Asher today. Babe, it was brutal."

  "She's a beast. I'm sure she'll recover from it."

  "You have no idea what they put her through. She's been bawling her eyes out since I got her home. She's still wearing her clothes. Fell asleep on top of the covers."

  "Fuck," he muttered, "Well, is she still asleep? I wouldn’t mind giving her a bit of an ego boost from her favorite inmate.”

  “And who would that be?” I chuckled.

  “Me, obviously.”

  “Did you open a bottle of wine yet?” Ris appeared suddenly in the entryway.

  I startled, looking over to see her standing there. She looked more unkempt than I'd ever seen her before and my jaw honestly dropped. Her black pencil skirt was riding up her thighs, the clean, gray pinstripe shirt that had been tucked in so neatly before hung half out of the top. Her eyeliner had faded and haloed beneath her eyes and her hair was tangled.

  "I thought you were still sleeping."

  "I was," her voice was monotone, meek, "Now I'm not."

  I tried to shake the broken image of her from my mind as she found a bottle of wine and a corkscrew and got to work.

  "Vaughn's on the phone,” I told her, “Says he’d lik
e to stroke your ego."

  I tapped speakerphone and moved closer, holding out the phone so we both could hear.

  “Fucking men and your fucking ego stroking. That’s what you all do. Make us think we’re special then bend us over and fuck us in the ass,” she said.

  “That’s a fun way to say hello,” Vaughn graciously held back a chuckle, “Heard your day sucked. You okay?”

  “Not really, no. The details of my various ass fuckings are now officially on court record.”

  “I’m sure your accounts proved to be both educational and entertaining.”

  “Vaughn…” I warned, knowing how delicate her state was.

  Ris seemed to respond well to Vaughn’s friendly jabs. It surprised me, confused me a bit, but made me happy that he could help her in some small way. That was a good connection for both of them to have.

  “Too bad you won’t get to read them, Vaughn,” she joked, “You could use an education.”

  “On ass fuckings? Nah. But I sure could use the entertainment around here.”

  “You’re in jail. You want education and entertainment in the form of ass fuckings, just ask your cell mate.”

  “You have no idea how right you are,” he laughed and the bright sound of it had me biting down on my bottom lip.

  Ris looked at me and gave me a small smile, “All this talk about ass fucking has your wife biting her lip.”

  “Hey,” I smacked her arm.

  “Good,” Vaughn said, “I’ll be sure to work on all of that when I come home.”

  “Promises, Vaughn,” Ris gave a half-smile and I could see some of her personality returning, “I’m happy to oversee preparations for that if you’d like.”

  I blushed about a hundred different shades of pink.

  “Oh, I’d like. Very much so. But only if you start right now and keep me on the line for a full play-by-play.”

  Ris clicked her tongue, “Sorry, I’m just not in the mood right now. Try tomorrow.”

  “I will,” he said, “So did I manage to put a smile back on your face? Is she smiling, Desi?”

  I answered for her, “You sure did, baby.”

  “Except I don’t recall any ego stroking,” Ris added.

  “You’re smart and you’re pretty.”

  “Is that all?”

  “You’re funny, strong, capable, and I’m guessing really good at taking it in the ass.”

  I laughed and so did she, which was beautiful because it was the first time I’d heard it all day. I couldn’t think of any other day before where I hadn’t heard Ris laugh. I was so grateful for the quirky friendship she and my husband were forming. Maybe I should be jealous of it like a normal woman in a normal marriage might be. But I wasn’t a normal woman and our marriage wasn’t normal and I didn’t want it to be.

  “Aw, sad you’ll never know if that’s true, Vaughn. In any case, thanks for being you, asshole.”

  “Right back atcha, hussy. Now tell my wife to take me off speakerphone so I can talk dirty to her for the last minute of this phone call.”

  I took it off speakerphone and stepped back into the hallway, just a little hint of privacy for me and my man.

  “I’m so in love with you, V. You’re just the best husband and friend a girl could ask for.”

  “I love you, baby. Every part of me misses every part of you.”

  “Yeah? Which part do you miss the most?” I chewed on the side of my thumb, feeling a little cheeky now that Ris seemed to be in a better mood.

  “Fuck, how would any man ever answer that question about you? I just miss your fucking soul. I miss being inside you.”

  I sighed, leaning against the wall. The side of my head accidentally brushed a picture frame, tilting it off-center. I reached to straighten it.

  “I know there’s an end date now, that you’ll be home before long, but not being able to make love to you the way I want is killing me, V.”

  He let out a breath, “I’ll spend a week making love to you when I come home.”

  “A month,” I smiled.

  “A year.”

  “Forever. Make love to me forever.”

  “Always, baby. I promise.”

  We ended the call and it was immediately followed by a text from Law.

  LAW: How is she?

  I sighed, typing out my reply.

  DESI: Just woke up. Cried herself to sleep in her clothes as soon as we got home.

  DESI: We just talked to V on the phone. He cheered her up a bit.

  I looked over to see her in the kitchen swigging back a giant gulp of wine right from the bottle.

  "Jesus."

  DESI: She's drinking wine from the bottle. Not looking great.

  LAW: She needs me.

  I huffed, indignant at his choice of phrasing.

  DESI: Sounds like she made that clear to you before, but you maybe fucked things up?

  LAW: Watch it, Blue.

  LAW: I'm not in the mood.

  DESI: Well, neither is she.

  DESI: I can’t come home tonight. She needs me here.

  LAW: Obviously she needs someone if she can't find a glass for her damn wine.

  LAW: I'm not happy about this.

  DESI: News flash. NO ONE is happy about this. Stop making everything about you.

  He was irritating me that he couldn't see past the power dynamics between the three of us, especially given that it was going to break his chance at a future with Ris. It was clear from the contract ending conversation I'd witnessed between the two of them that she had asked him for more, but he had denied her. It broke my heart to think of it because they could be so good together if they could just pretend to be real people in a real human relationship for five goddamn minutes.

  I silenced my phone and pocketed it, intending to ignore any further texts or calls from Law for the night. I returned to the kitchen to find Ris slumped on the floor, leaning against her stainless-steel refrigerator with the bottle of wine resting on the white tile beside her and her phone in her hand.

  I sat down on the other side of her wine, leaning against a cabinet. I could see she had been “Googling” Asher's trial and was scrolling through article headlines.

  "What are you doing?" I asked, tempted to rip her phone from her hands and throw it away.

  She read from her phone, "'We intend to show that Christine Warren lacks credibility in her account of the events given her proclivity for fetishist activities,' said Fallon's attorney, 'It will become clear during this trial that Dr. Fallon's intent was harmless within the contract of their relationship. Miss Warren is lying. She has falsely accused my client to save face for her own reputation.'"

  Her face scrunched with discomfort on the last sentence.

  "Give me that," I reached for her phone and snatched it from her hand before she could protest, "Why are you even looking at this bullshit?"

  "I wanted to know what they were saying about me," she picked up the bottle of wine and took another gulp, “‘Proclivity for fetishist activities,’” she repeated the article, "Who comes up with this crap?"

  "Lawyers," I gave her a small smile, "Like you."

  "Right. Ugh," she groaned.

  I scrolled down with my finger, looking through the articles that had come up in her search, hoping to find something positive to read to her, hoping there was something that could prove her reputation wasn't entirely ruined.

  It was all headlines slanted by Darcy Jackson's vicious spin in defense of Asher. I knew it was all lies. I knew it was just a desperate defense tactic for a dead man walking. But the world didn't know the truth. I couldn't stand the thought that anyone would ever have a moment's doubt about Ris or her intentions.

  I turned off her phone and set it on the floor beside me, out of her reach.

  "No phone until this trial is over, okay? It's not helping you any to look at it. It's all stupid, anyway."

  "Fucking stupid," she said.

  Her face contorted and there was a beat of silent tension b
efore I saw droplets spill from the corner of her eye. She turned her head to look at me and the floodgates opened.

  "I've never felt so lost, Desi. I don't know what to do."

  I reached for her, pulling her tightly into my embrace, "It's okay. I'll help you figure it out. I swear. We'll figure it all out together, okay?"

  She nodded as she buried her face in my chest, sobbing quietly and dampening my shirt.

  "I just want to sleep, Desi."

  "So, let's get you changed and back in bed. You can sleep all you want."

  I helped get her out of her clothes and put her to bed in just her panties and a white tank top. I could see myself in her for the first time ever. I knew this feeling well, wanting to crawl into bed, wanting to fall asleep to avoid the pain of living. It made me feel too many things to see her that way.

  It made me feel equal parts weak and strong, fearful and hopeful, unsure and certain.

  I felt weak because I didn't really know how to help her, strong because I knew that somehow I would find a way. I was fearful that this trial and everything Asher had done to her could truly ruin her, but hopeful that she would come out of this stronger than I'd ever known her, stronger than I could even imagine. I was unsure because I had no experience to comprehend the depth of her hurt, but certain that my experience would guide me in bringing her back to one hundred percent operating capacity.

  Ris was still a queen, though her crown had fallen.

  I just needed to help her pick it up and put it back on so she could continue to kick-ass and take names like true royalty.

  Chapter 21

  Desi

  I stormed into Law's penthouse apartment without warning two weeks after Ris’ trial testimony against Asher. I'd been mostly staying at her apartment to care for her in a delicate state, though I popped back over daily to get things I needed and to take the occasional nap.

  Caring for a power-house goddess who thought she didn't need emotional support, though she literally couldn't take three steps without sobbing, was exhausting.