The Fabulous Adventures of Leif & Lyle

by Clyde Andrews

  Leif pulled himself up, looking me in the eyes. “Why, what’s Jasper said?”

  I knew Leif was sensitive about certain things, especially if it was attached to anything homophobic. In his world, everyone should be able to love who they wanted and be who they wanted to be without question. That’s how he’d been bought up and that’s why I loved him so much. He was a massive ball full of heart, his kindness radiating from him so much that it became infectious.

  I never stood a chance resisting him, even before he asked me out.

  And for that I was forever grateful.

  But I felt a wave of anger wash through me. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. You’ve got enough on your plate right now with your mum away and Mister Metaxas being kidnapped.”

  “Seriously, Lyle. What did Jasper say to you? I saw his text earlier. It can’t be worse than that, can it?”

  “It was.” I put my other hand onto his knee. “Jasper blurted out in front of Mum that I was rushing over here to have butt sex with you. He’s such a douchebag, I can’t even.”

  Leif’s face hardened, and even though his eyes were still watery, they reflected a depth only I was just discovering. A depth I couldn’t wait to explore further.

  He smiled, soft and gentle, looking more like him. “If we want to make love to each other, we will. I have condoms. And anyway, it’s no one else’s business or concern what we do together. I hope you told him that.”

  God. Leif called it “making love” and I’d never heard anything so beautiful pass from his lips. My stomach lurched in that lovely way it always did when I thought of him; my boy bits also got a bit involved, too. His words had that much of a reaction. I had to shift my weight, otherwise things would get rather uncomfortable.

  “When…when d-did you g-get c-condoms?” I stammered.

  “After our movie date. My Mum got them after she talked about being responsible and safe, and I’d told her that I loved you.”

  “You…love me?”

  “I do.”

  “Wowsers. I really do love you as well. I…I always have. But you do know there’s no rush for us to do anything…I don’t want to do things we’re not ready for or will…you know…regret later. We can take it slowly.”

  Leif stood up, grabbing my hands. I stood, too. Good thing as well; my between the legs enthusiasm wasn’t going down any time soon, and sitting had become unbearable on the super soft cushions of his couch. “I know. And besides, there’s got to be a lot more kissing first.”

  “Right—and we’ve got to get Mister Metaxas back before your Mum comes home and we get to the Friday deadline.”

  Leif’s expression changed, sadness washing over him. “We’ll start by going to Edwin’s house.”

  “You don’t think Edwin did it, do you?”

  “No, I don’t. But we’ve got to eliminate all the possibilities, don’t we? Besides, the ransom note mentioned Edwin, so that’s a logical first step in our investigation.”

  “I can’t argue with that.”

  I could see where he was going and happened to agree. But I had to shift my weight once more, moving my feet to do so. Leif’s continued closeness, his breath ghosting across my neck, his warm hands in mine during his time of need, and his caring attitude hadn’t eased my inflated situation.

  Leif tried to pull me into action, the language of his touch firm. I had to take another moment to gather myself and think of anything else but him and his contact. Imagining Jasper’s sneering face kind of helped, but Leif’s presence was too strong.

  “What’s the matter, Lyle?”

  “I…I’ve got a bit of a boy issue after all that talk about making love and stuff, if you know what I mean.”

  His knowing smile, one that sent shivers through me, found his lips. “I’ve got an erection, too. Being with you does that to me as well.”

  My nerves tingled across my skin. Leif had a boy problem for me!

  I swallowed, trying to concentrate on the moment at hand. “Um…Leif, if you’re going to use that word to describe that particular boy problem, it’s called a hard-on or boner. No one says ‘erection’ anymore.”

  “Then let’s get to Edwin’s house before our enthusiasm gets the better of us, hard-ons or not. Mister Metaxas needs us.”

  I sighed in relief. “Amen to that!”

  Leif was right. There were other things to worry about first. Besides, maybe later tonight, after we’d made headway with our investigation and hopefully even had Mister Metaxas back, we could kiss and kiss some more.

  We would be able to.

  My parents didn’t have an open bedroom door policy when boys were over—even sleeping over. That was one thing I had to be thankful for, even if Jasper was responsible for it. He made such a commotion when Leif held my hand while we studied in my room, my parents admitted it would be better if the bedroom door stayed closed, so they didn’t have to hear it.

  Plus, my dad’s logic was rock solid considering he was doing his best to understand his eldest son loved boys: “Well, Sport, I suppose you can’t get Leif pregnant, can you?”

  Mum rolled her eyes, but from that moment on I was ensured privacy. That, and I knew they trusted me. I wouldn’t break their trust—I loved them too much. Besides, that sort of thing would only happen between me and Leif if the moment was right—which was a long way off.

  I wanted to get to know Leif even more before we did anything like that. Also, our kissing had to be about us and nothing else but our need for each other.

  Edwin’s house was a few streets away, so we rode our bikes. Leif knocked on his front door while I secured the bikes to one of the many front porch posts. Edwin’s house was a Queenslander—a wooden and corrugated iron building with a long, decked veranda that stretched the length of the front façade. The floorboards creaked under our weight. I’d always loved Edwin’s house. It was beautiful, the wood painted a crisp, clean white complete with complicated fretwork panels and filigree everywhere.

  “Oh…h-hey, guys!” Edwin greeted us with a forced smile. He didn’t seem himself. His eyes darted around he looked anxious. What was going on? Also, he didn’t open the front door any more than a few inches, only enough to peer through the gap.

  I couldn’t see past him into the darkness beyond.

  “Hey, Edwin,” Leif said. I held his hand once I’d secured our bikes. “Got a minute? There’s something I want to ask you.”

  “Umm…sure, sure a-ask away.”

  “Mister Metaxas has been kidnapped and we’re trying to find out who took him,” Leif stated matter-of-factly, even though his grip within mine told a different story: he was nervous and worried, as to be expected.

  Edwin’s eyebrows shot up above the rim of his glasses. “Your dog’s been kidnapped?”

  “Yeah, he sure has been.”

  “But what’s that got to do with me? I love Mister Metaxas—I’d never do anything to him.”

  I stated, “The ransom note mentioned you. Show him, Leif.”

  Leif retrieved the note from his pocket, letting Edwin read it without giving it to him. After a moment, Edwin’s demeanour visibly changed. In fact, he’d drained as white as a sheet. He was now fidgeting, revealing his anxiety once more. If I wasn’t mistaken, I would have sworn he was sweating, too.

  And because I’d been studying him, it was then I noticed his shirt was inside out and not tucked into his jeans. Edwin was a tucker. Seeing him uncharacteristically dishevelled was weird.

  He looked behind himself a couple of times, too, as if checking on something.

  “What’s wrong, Edwin?” Leif asked.

  Edwin sneezed in reply.

  “Gesundheit!” Ben’s voice blessed Edwin from the darkness beyond the door’s threshold.

  That.

  Was.

  Interesting.

  Why would Ben be over Edwin’s house? Wasn’t there some sort of sport going on where sweaty boys chased a ball for imagined glory and hero status amongst the knuckle draggers w
ho worshipped them?

  Leif must have picked up on what I had. “Can we come in? There’s a lot to talk about and I’m sure you don’t want to discuss such things within earshot of the neighbours, do you?”

  Edwin’s shoulders slumped. “Fine. You were going to find out soon enough, anyway. Come in.”

  He opened the door wider.

  What I saw took my breath away.

  Standing behind Edwin was Ben. He was not only shirtless, he was wearing nothing but grey boxer brief underwear. And if my interest in Leif earlier was any gauge to go by, Ben sure was happy about something Edwin had been doing to him.

  Leif squeezed my hand so tight it was like he was shouting at me: Are you seeing what I’m seeing?

  How could I not?

  My mouth dropped open.

  Chapter Six

  First There are Secrets

  Much to my disappointment, as soon as Edwin directed us into the front loungeroom and told us to make ourselves comfortable, Ben clambered into his jeans. Thankfully, he remained shirtless. And boy, was his body hot. Ben had a six-pack and pecs that left no doubt as to his fitness. Sculptors could use him as a model to get every muscular detail of male anatomy correct.

  Edwin was a very, very lucky boy.

  The room was well furnished—Edwin’s parents worked long hours in IT and obviously had a lot of money to spare. Although, I didn’t think a packet of opened condoms and bottle of lube was part of their décor choice.

  I managed a smile.

  There was no doubt what Edwin and Ben were up to. The rumours about what Ben liked in the bedroom—or Edwin’s loungeroom—were true. Only it wasn’t poor Britney who satisfied him.

  Clearly, Edwin did that.

  Straight Ben wasn’t so straight after all, I supposed.

  Leif was still in a state of shock. He hadn’t spoken. But his misty blue eyes no longer held any mystery. It was plain as day as to what he was thinking, because I’d been thinking it, too.

  When Edwin sat, I couldn’t help it and I blurted, “How…how long have you two been…boyfriends?” I glanced back at the lube and condoms sitting comfortably on one of the couch cushions to reinforce my words.

  Edwin’s face went bright red, something that was in complete contrast to the drained white of before. “We’ve b-been together for over a y-year.”

  Okay…

  Now I was in shock.

  More so when Ben sat next to Edwin and planted a kiss firmly onto his lips, the sounds of their intimacy loud within the stunned silence of the room. Leif looked at me, his mouth now dropped open.

  There’d been a lot of that going on lately.

  I couldn’t move as I witnessed the most unbelievable thing I’d ever seen. Leif held my hand and now it was me who was communicating to him how I felt by touch, confusion at the top of the list.

  When they parted, both their lips wet from all the tongue action that had happened between them, Ben said, “Sparkles is so damn hot, how could I not be his boy where he can do to me as he pleases? Am I right there, or am I right, Sparkles?”

  Edwin giggled and turned a brighter red. But his eyes went watery, like they had this morning at the lockers. So, that’s what happened. Edwin and Ben had been kissing and he’d got emotional.

  It was all too much to process. Edwin was hot and the one who satisfied Ben? Wowsers, the saying was true: beauty was in the eye of the beholder. All right, Edwin was cute and a great guy. But hot? Had Ben not seen himself in the mirror since he could walk?

  After what Ben said next, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was floored, no doubt. “And besides, what more could a bottom boy want than a boyfriend who’s got what it takes and knows what to do with it?”

  Oh.

  My.

  God!

  Now my cheeks burned so warm I’m sure Edwin would have been proud of them. Not only was the straight stud muffin Ben not so straight, he liked…what did he say? Being the bottom boy? I only knew that when Leif and I did it, we’d take turns with that sort of thing. I couldn’t imagine it being a one-way street. Not that anything was wrong with that, love was love. But hearing it from Ben. Footy star and super jock Ben. Double wowsers!

  That shocked me the most.

  What a day it’d been.

  Leif squeezed my hand to reassure me my thoughts were on track; we really were learning to communicate in an unspoken way.

  “Sorry this has shocked you, guys,” Edwin offered. Ben was all over him, kissing him everywhere, from his cheeks to his neck.

  Leif, with a quiet, calm voice, finally asked, “What about Britney?”

  Ben peeled himself off Edwin. “What about her, buddy?”

  I interjected, “But she’s your girlfriend, isn’t she?”

  “No, she’s not. Never has been.” Ben laughed lightly. “I mean, dude, that’s what we want everyone to think. Britney’s my BFF and loves me for who I am. She’s known about me and Sparkles here for ages—even before he asked me out and swept me off my feet with his charms.”

  Okay…I was still processing. My brain almost overloaded though. “But…but I don’t understand. Why would she do that for you?”

  Edwin placed his hand onto Ben’s knee. “She’s doing it for us, because Ben’s parents can’t accept the fact that he’s gay. They threatened to kick him out of his home if he ever came out. So, I’ve been Ben’s secret for a while now. As long as it stays that way, his folks are happy enough.”

  Leif asked, “Why would anyone do that to someone just for being themselves?”

  God Bless him. Leif really did live in his own world, one where caring and hearts ruled. A world where I felt most comfortable, if I was being honest—which was why I said yes to him without hesitation when he asked me to be his boyfriend.

  Unfortunately, Leif’s reality wasn’t everyone’s reality. A lot of gay teens had it rough, Ben obviously included in that.

  The penny dropped. “Clearly, someone isn’t happy with the arrangement you and Ben have though, are they?”

  “What do you mean?” Ben asked me.

  Leif produced the ransom note, giving it to Ben. I knew Leif’s gesture in passing it to him meant he trusted Ben.

  After Ben read the note, his eyes fell on Edwin. “I think Lucy has something to do with all this. She’s the one who started using the word lamington to describe gay boys.” Edwin nodded, giving Ben another kiss. Okay…I had to admit it; they were cute together. The nerd and the jock. True romance, for sure. Eden sure was gonna be their ship name from now on.

  But what did Ben mean by that?

  “Lucy may have started that, but why would she kidnap Mister Metaxas?” I questioned, reiterating my thoughts. “What motive does she have aside from calling us that stupid name?”

  It was Ben’s turn to reach into his pocket and produce a note. “You may remember Lucy wrote this for me during lunchtime detention today, buddy. Well, here it is, so you know.”

  Leif and I read it together, as always. The note, scrawled hastily in red pen, said: I heard you couldn’t keep your hands off Edwin’s butt in gym class today. Careful, Ben. Peeps who are jealous might put something like that on Twitter or whateva to hurt you and Edwin. And what would your parents say if they found out?

  I swallowed bitter bile.

  Lucy was jealous—and that was good enough motive for me.

  Not from what the note said exactly, but because I felt for them. I remembered what Edwin had said earlier when Mister Metaxas had followed us to school. “I so wish I had a boyfriend who could—hey, why’s your dog out, Leif?” It was then I knew the real reason why Edwin had cut himself off. He more than likely wanted to say, “A boyfriend who could hold my hand in public like how you and Leif can because you guys don’t have homophobic parents like he does.”

  I felt anger boil within me.

  Leif adjusted the pressure of his touch within my hand. He understood, too. “Then we’d better go pay Lucy a visit next,” he stated, “because I kn
ow you and Edwin didn’t take Mister Metaxas.”

  “But can we have your note, Ben?” I asked.

  “Sure.” Ben shrugged. “Did you want us to come with you?”

  But Edwin seemed to deflate at Ben’s offer—and I had a good understanding about why that would be so. I mean, if I had Ben hanging off me, I wouldn’t want to go outside into the Spring air to aggravate my allergies if I had them. Not ever.

  And besides, while Edwin’s parents weren’t home, their time was limited. He played a lot of sport and was part of so many clubs and associations I was surprised he was here in the first place. Edwin was also busy with Chess Club and Study groups and tutoring the juniors.

  Yeah. They needed their time; time Leif and I were interrupting. Those condoms weren’t going to get used by themselves.

  Edwin asked, “You’re not going to put anything about us on social media as the ransom note says, are you?”

  Without hesitation, Leif assured him, “Our friendship means a lot to me. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise that. Your secret is safe with us. Isn’t that right, Lyle?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Then I really hope you find Mister Metaxas,” Edwin said before Ben kissed him, silencing the rest of our conversation. Moments later, they were rolling around on the couch, entwined and deep in their own world, Edwin moving so he dominated Ben.

  Not so straight Ben let him.

  I coughed into my free hand. “Umm…we’ll see ourselves out, then. Talk to you both later.”

  A muffled reply filled with their passion was my only response. Edwin then kissed Ben’s bare skin from his nipples to his navel, hastily unbuttoning his jeans at the same time. Ben was writhing from the attention, his head back and gasping for air.

  To say I was hypnotised by what was unfolding before me was an understatement.

  Leif pulled me towards the door, because I couldn’t tear my eyes away from what Edwin and Ben were doing to each other. It was getting hot in his house, that’s for sure.

  When outside, breathing in the fresh air because inside Edwin’s house it had also become a bit too close for comfort, I blinked many times in an attempt to clear the image of them that had been seared into the back of my retinas. “That was…”