An Ocean of Light

by Kit Fortier

  Jake looked at his son. “You’re a good kid, Ben.”

  Ben rolled his eyes. “It’s just sex, Dad.”

  Fox piped in. “Yeah, it’s just sex, papa bear.”

  Jake looked over his shoulder at his man with a smirk.

  “Oh god, you’re not gonna do it in here, are you?” Ben cried. “I can just go to my room—”

  Fox and Jake both jumped up.

  “No! No, Ben, don’t worry!” Jake cried.

  “We want to hang out with you, big guy!” Fox offered immediately after Jake.

  Ben relaxed. Slightly. “Okay. But if you guys are gonna have one of your moments, just let me clear out first, alright?” He asked sheepishly.

  Jake laughed. “You got it, son.”

  *** Jake

  Brunch came and went quite easily and freely. Ben laughed about life with the Samuels family. Jake saw he spoke from his heart with love for his surrogates. It both hurt his heart, yet made him smile, knowing he had been well cared for in his absence by good people.

  Easy as it came, Jake was aware that fallout could be forthcoming. Ben was a great kid, but ten years of absence meant that Jake hadn’t been there for over half of his son’s life.

  Fox was overtly doing what he could to help knit his son and himself back together.

  For that, Jake would be forever grateful.

  The helicopter trip had begun with a limo from the hotel to the hangar where the tours began. Ben could hardly contain himself, and it warmed Jake deeply to see him happy.

  In the helicopter, Ben’s gaze was out the window the whole time, either to his left or his right. Jake and Fox sat on the bench behind him. Fox gave Jake a sweet kiss on the cheek while Ben was preoccupied with the Hoover Dam.

  The trip took them to a helipad at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. An amazing picnic lunch had been prepared for them. They happily sat down to enjoy it before exploring the areas allowed to them. Ben asked if he could climb some of the craggier faces. The tour guides were dead set against it. There were liability reasons, of course. However, they stressed they just didn’t want anyone hurting themselves.

  Ben pouted, but it was more than he could hope for in a visit.

  “Think we could come back one day and just explore?” Ben asked.

  Jake nodded. “When we get all set up and settled in, we’ll look into it, okay, son?”

  Ben smiled. Every one of those smiles meant everything to Jake.

  After the exploration, everyone climbed back into the helicopter for the ride back. They got an excellent view of the Strip from above. They made their way to the transport’s origin point—the hangar at McCarran. Fox tipped the pilot, giving Jake a wink.

  He swore he’d pay back his man. He just needed to unload an ingot or two.

  *** Ben

  On the ride back, Ben sat near the head of the limo, legs stretched out, and grinning.

  “Did you have fun?” Fox asked.

  “Oh yeah,” he replied. “That was spectacular. I’d love to see it again—hike it, or even go camping.” He was certain they’d have campsites and places to visit. It would take a little looking into, but Ben was excited for the possibilities.

  “I think it's gotta be in the right season, but I don’t see why not,” Fox said. “Maybe for Christmas, or New Years?”

  “There probably won’t be any visitors in that time. That’s because the winter seasons tend to bring snow and such to the area. Lots of hazard warnings,” Jake said.

  Ben nodded.

  “Hadn’t thought of that,” Fox admitted. “We’ll figure it out, big guy.”

  “What next, Foxy?”

  “Well, let’s leave that to Ben. We picked last round, buddy. What do you want to do?”

  “The rain’s gone, right?” The young man asked.

  Fox looked out the window. “Sure is.”

  “Can I hang by the pool?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Jake said. “Oh, but Fox, baby, you’re gonna get a tan line.”

  “Bet they sell swim shorts that tan through,” Fox snickered.

  “Oh yeah? I’ll take that bet. What do I win if they don’t?” Jake asked heatedly.

  “Three rounds, however you want it,” Fox winked. “But if I win—”

  “Guys?” Ben said, making a show of covering his ears and scrunching his face. He could feel the heat wrapping around his neck like a choker. Ben was quite relieved to know the window was up between his embarrassing parents and the poor guy driving the car.

  “Aw, come on, Ben, it wasn’t that bad,” Jake chuckled.

  “You guys are worse than teenagers,” Ben grumbled.

  Fox leaned into Jake, whispering in his ear. “If I win, I’ll give you three rounds, however you want it.”

  “So, it’s a win-win? This is gonna be great,” Jake whispered back. Ben stuck his fingers in his ears.

  Ben muttered a theme he loved from the Pirates of the Caribbean films, trying to block out his tormentors.

  “Ooh! Davey Jones on his pipe organ!” Fox pointed. “Great scene. Awesome bad guy, too!”

  Ben could only nod emphatically, hoping against hope that the ill-conceived segue stuck.

  “My son is such a prude,” Jake groaned.

  “I don’t think you really mind.”

  “No, but I don’t want to think of my son doing anything sexual, either.”

  Ben sang louder.

  Jake and Fox grinned.

  ***

  Listening to his Dad and Fox talk about bets and doing things to each other felt like he was crossing a line somehow. Ben was happy his Dad was happy, but he didn’t want to hear about the sexcapades they got up to when they were alone.

  He watched as the limo pulled up to the entrance to the hotel. Fox pushed by Ben for a moment. He tipped the driver generously through the window between the front of the car and the rest of the limo. Ben waited until they were gone to make his move when the limo driver turned around with a slip.

  “Sir? You might want this,” the driver said. Ben took the slip and quickly opened it.

  Pool 8PM

  The window began to roll up when Ben caught it.

  “Why do you want me at the pool tonight?”

  “I didn’t write it,” the driver said. “Some young guy paid me to pass it on to you.”

  Ben’s forehead creased slightly in confusion. “Thanks. Sorry for the mix-up.”

  “Sure thing, kid. Have fun while you’re here!”

  Ben stared at the note, nodding, though his head was a million miles away. He crawled out of the limo, pocketing the note without his Dad or Fox noticing.

  “Did you need swim trunks, Big Ben?” His Dad asked.

  “Yeah, that sounds great.”

  The three went into a shop that sold sportswear as well as other men’s clothing—at exorbitant prices. It was more than Ben thought he would ever spend on anything clothing related. But Fox was insistent he got what he wanted. In the end, father and son went with conservative black swim trunks, and Fox—

  Fox found a pair tan through swim briefs. Ben shook his head. Guess he won that round. Judging from his father’s dirty looks, someone was in for it tonight.

  Perfect time to get away.

  The three made their way to the pool area. They slipped into the changing rooms to try on their newly acquired swimsuits. Ben was alright with his. When his father stepped out wearing the same, they looked at each other and smiled. Ben really was like his father. A head taller and a touch leaner. The pelt must have been hereditary, since Ben was slightly less fuzzy than his father.

  Not by much.

  When Fox stepped out, Ben almost lost his shit. Fox’s swim briefs left little to the imagination. Something about the way Fox looked at his Dad made him feel he wanted it that way. He leaned down to whisper into his father’s ear.

  “Whatever you’re thinking, save it for the bedroom tonight, please, Dad?”

  The elder Hughes man’s ears turned bright red.

/>   “Pick your jaw up off the floor, papa bear,” Fox chuckled.

  The pool was spacious, and rather gorgeous in the clear light of day. Ben loved it. It was a pool that he could actually swim in compared to the small pool the S’s had back home in Idaho. At his height, he could travel the length of the pool there in two strokes. Not so fun.

  After applying a quick layer of suntan lotion, Ben dove on in, the water warm to his skin. The last he saw before he hit the blue was his Dad, who had taken to rubbing that same suntan lotion on his young husband.

  Look away, Ben. Look away.

  There was a kind of freedom in the water. Ben didn’t have to think, or to plan ahead. He only had to breathe. He took off like a bullet, and for a man his size, he was surprisingly fast.

  He swam until his arms ached, and his lungs burned. Ben strode up the steps leading out of the pool. He adjusted to the tug of gravity that reminded people they could no longer float weightless.

  “You’re a great swimmer, big guy,” Fox said from the poolside chaise he was casually stretched out on. “Are you planning on joining a team in San Diego?”

  “Maybe,” Ben said. He sat down on a lounger next to his Dad. “I don’t want it to get in the way of my studies.”

  “What are you getting into?” Asked his father.

  “I was thinking about oceanography. UCSD offers a bachelors in oceanic and atmospheric sciences.”

  “You’re gonna have to fill me in when you get that degree, Ben. That sounds interesting.” The elder Hughes shifted on his lounger, resting across his front with his chin on his hands. Fox did the same.

  “There’s definitely a lot to get through. The required math classes. Different kinds of chemistry. Courses on ocean biology. Quantum mechanics, Paleoclimatology—” Ben was cut off by his father.

  “You lost me at math, son. The rest of it sounds up my alley, though. I wanted to get into earth sciences myself.”

  Whether he knew it or not, Dad was walking into a minefield.

  “Was that what you were studying when we left Austin?”

  *** Fox

  Ben’s question hung in the air between him and his father. Fox felt it—felt the otherwise imperceptible shift.

  He gently reached out and touched Jake’s shoulder to warn him. It wasn’t a trap. Still, his husband opened the door. He mentioned a subject from what little time he and Ben had together before going on the run.

  For his part, it seemed Jake picked up on it, too. He slowly sat upright, as if any sudden moves he made would scare his boy off. Fox followed suit shortly after in a show of support. He sensed they were about to engage in a very important subject.

  “There was a lot I meant to do in that time, Ben. But I couldn’t. Staying still meant that I’d risk some horrible people finding me, and god forbid, finding you with me.”

  “I get that, Dad, I do.”

  “You don’t have to let me off easy, son. I know I have a lot of explaining to do.”

  Fox saw the younger Hughes struggling—the battle he must be fighting in his head… The whys and whens from a time when he had comprehension of neither. The explanation, while already given, involved a world so vast and different than the one he grew up in.

  “It’s hard, Dad. It’s really hard. I know for a fact I would have thrown this in your face—how crazy all this is. I would have written you off as insane. But in the past couple of days, knowing you’re right seems harder than believing you’re wrong. You know what I mean?”

  Fox’s husband reached out and took his son’s face in his hands. “I know you don’t know this. I have no right to ask, having been gone for over half your life. But I want you to know that I am here for you, son. You only have to ask. If there’s something you don’t understand, I’ll tell you what I know, and we can fill in the blanks together, alright?”

  Ben nodded—his eyes downcast.

  “Ben, please look at me.”

  Fox could only imagine what it must have been like, looking at almost a mirror of himself. For either man. Pale, silvery-blue eyes reflecting on azure ones. Each set searching for understanding from the other.

  Ben did as his father asked.

  “We’ll do it together.”

  Ben took one of his father’s hands in his own, leaning into the touch of a man he clearly missed, he desperately needed.

  “Okay, Dad… Okay.”

  Fox breathed a sigh of relief. Relief that the Hughes men didn’t kill each other, relief that the conversation hadn’t ended on a sour note. There would still be healing to be done, but it wasn’t impossible. At least, it didn’t feel that way.

  “Hey, guys,” Fox chimed in, “Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight?”

  Jake turned to him, giving him a soft kiss. “That sounds great, baby.”

  “What time is it?” Ben asked.

  “Almost seven,” Fox replied, looking at his phone.

  “I’m still good from the picnic—it was a big lunch we had right after the brunch we ate before we left. I’ll get room service later, if that’s okay?”

  “Sure thing, Ben. Order what you like, alright? Everything’s on my tab.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Fox,” the look in Ben’s eyes seemed to say that the young man was thanking him for more than just the room service. Fox tried not to read into it, though. He was still new to Jake’s son’s life.

  “No problem,” Fox said with a smile.

  “You two enjoy yourselves. I’m gonna get changed and sit by the water,” Ben said.

  “Alright, son. Give Fox a call if you need us, big guy.”

  Ben nodded with a smile. Elder Hughes bent over and kissed his son on the head.

  “Dad,” Ben whined.

  “Okay, okay,” Jake snickered. Clearly, father enjoyed embarrassing son publicly.

  Fox reached out his hand to Jake, and Jake took it happily. They walked back to the changing rooms, leaving Ben by the pool in the fading light of day.

  ***

  After they dressed, Jake and Fox saw Ben stretched out, the early evening breeze cooling the air. The two entered the hotel proper hand in hand.

  “If we’re going to eat out tonight, should we be a little better dressed?” Fox asked.

  “This is your party, hon.”

  “It’s our first fancy restaurant dinner, papa bear.”

  “We don’t have any nice shirts, do we?”

  Fox shook his head. “Everything we’ve had in our packs is all we’ve had since we left Wyoming. You less, because you went all hero on me and Ben. You got everything disintegrated, but your engagement ring. I don’t know how you managed that.”

  Jake pulled Fox in with his arm over his husband’s shoulders, kissing him on the head as they walked.

  “You won’t let me live that down, will you?”

  “Not on your long, handsome life. A mate can’t forget a thing like that.”

  “Ah, that word again.”

  “Yep. But now it’s legally binding, as well as all that other naughty stuff—”

  “Can’t we just do room service, then each other?”

  Fox laughed. “Baby, you’ve got three rounds of whatever you want coming. Dinner in a place that doesn’t have ketchup and paper napkins at the table shouldn’t be too hard to get through, should it?”

  “I’ll show you too hard—”

  Fox elbowed Jake in the ribs as they passed by a happy, chatty, nuclear family.

  “You’re gonna have to kiss that, you know. Make it feel better,” Jake growled.

  “Papa bear, you know that’s on the menu tonight.”

  “Your hot ass is on the menu—”

  Fox laughingly shushed Jake, who laughed back. Clearly there was only one thing on his mind, and it didn’t involve eating out at a fancy restaurant. It just involved eating out.

  “The ring was easy, Foxy,” Jake said, tugging Fox under his arm as they walked. “I took it off so I could give it to you before…” The big man sighed as he tugged Fox closer. “I
t… It’s over though, right? I didn’t have to do that. I’m here. We’re here.” He pressed a kiss to the side of Fox’s head. “Thanks to you. And to my son.” They walked on in amiable silence.

  The two went back into the store where they bought their swimwear hours before. They left in completely different clothes. Fox wore a black polo shirt and gray slacks. Jake was in a grey button down shirt and black slacks. Jake wanted the polo, but Fox quashed that.

  “Button downs are sexier to get you out of,” he replied.

  The clerk assisting them snorted, smiling.

  Jake argued tooth and nail about buying new shoes that he’d only wear a handful of times throughout his life. Fox shrugged. The two touted their old clothes in the store’s paper bags. No one was the wiser that they went in a little ratty and left practically new men. Except for their muddy boots. Fox wouldn’t fight it. He’d just buy his man new ones online later.

  Much to Jake’s chagrin, the two tried out a French cuisine establishment—one of at least two in the casino. Both men knew nothing about French food. They laughed at each other when the waiter corrected their slaughter of the language. The waiter, for his part, took it in stride, even smiled when the two repeated what he said to get it mostly right.

  “Merci, messieurs. It is rare I have guests who aren’t afraid to try. Most would say, ‘yeah, that’, and send me away.” Fox looked peeved that no one would try. Jake thanked him, and he went on his way.

  Dinner was an enjoyable experience. The ambience, the food, the wine… Fox didn’t know what happened that made him put away about two bottles of wine. He enjoyed Jake’s eyes on him throughout dinner as the big guy nursed one glass while plying Fox with the rest of it while he ate and talked distractedly. The sum of an amazing dinner, animated conversation, and two bottles of wine (and a third, partially drunken bottle in Fox’s shopping bag) led to completely inebriated stumbling to the elevator, and then to their suite.

  *** Jake

  Jake grinned from ear to ear. Apparently, Fox couldn’t handle his wine, at least where the truly good stuff was concerned. Somewhere along the way, Jake ended up with one of Fox’s boots. His man walked half-barefoot, half-booted into the elevator. The redhead crooked a finger at Jake with a sleepy, naughty grin. Jake obliged, crowding Fox against the wall and tasting the wine and heat his mouth until they made it to their floor. Fox stumbled drunkenly toward their end of the hall with his finger hooked in one of Jake’s belt loops. He clumsily shoved his pants over the top of his butt with one hand, throwing a dirty smirk over his shoulder at the big guy on the end of his fingers.