Solved Puzzles
Page 3
dark! But how long did all these take? At this time, I understand that it actually never took me years, months, days, hours, minutes nor seconds. It was simply splits of a micro-second that all these things had happened to me. Time is a funny phenomenon to think about -- yes it is funny enough not to go into the details of its framework
But a gentleman would ask, yes you’ve told us how you got to Earth but why did you come? Why did you have to leave behind Anna and not come with her? I will try to answer this gentleman though he should not expect a far-reaching scientific explanation as I am not a college professor though I will have to ape one. As I told you before, I was working in the chemical laboratory of the Akron Energetics. My work was essentially isolation of Zaphium. Zaphium is a substance akin to gold though its radioactive properties are so peculiar that we could slap our chin for associating it with the latter. About a quarter of Zaphium would supply enough energy to run the entire African continent for a full year since she has no heavy machinery that would devour power as the case with Zarkah which would only consume a quarter a liter in less than a month! At the plant which is sited in the isolated areas of North, Zaphium undergoes nuclear fission in the presence of copper as a catalyst, emitting vast amount of intra-atomic energy that all Zarkahans lavish on.
I now hope after giving this brief lecture, the solicitor will be able to appreciate my explanation for intruding his planet. After changing my laboratory wares, I suppose some particles of Zaphium remained in my hand. Oh, I remember not washing my hands as I least anticipated any contact since we gloved our bodies in the laboratory. Now, one habit I developed in our relationship was hand-pocketing when talking to Anna. ‘’well, that sounds nicer!’’ I would commend as I pocketed. Therefore I presume, when I did the several pocketing I was discarding the particles off my fingers into the pocket bowl and as Anna thrashed her hand into my right pouch, her copper ring got into contact with these particles, spontaneously starting a reaction that produced satisfactory energy to send me to this planet. By Jo, it was by luck that I happened to land on Earth otherwise I would have landed on a juvenile planet that would not sustain this miserable life of mine.
THE END OF ANNA MY SWEET-HEART by Abbott Walking Carbonic
The Scientific Lords
And the Lord God said, ‘Let there be ignorance!” Oops! Humans became green in eyes and ate the evil berry, pome or whatever. Then the Lord God was piqued.
“But, what was your quarry Papa?” The Lord Jesus wanted to know.
“Son, it’s all arithmetical deviancy!” Admitted the Lord God and took three sonorous seeps of coffee tea
. “Son I’d thought,” said deparingly the Lord God, “by applying the reflux of the exponential function that we used to eke the Universe on Monday, this ignorance’d ebb logarithmically and transmute into knowledge…”
“I am not getting it…”
“Okay, if, eks is the initial ignorance then the modulus must be varying log eks over, a, exponent, en, and I thought en’d be less or equal to zero and greater…”
“Oh father, I am no maths’ nerd; I am a Chemist…”
“Better then…”
“But isn’t there any way…?” The Lord Jesus wanted to know
“No son!”
“Look Dad, we are so biggest. I want, swallow this antigrowth tablet and become littlest enough and teach them knowledge!”
End of the Scientific Lords by Abbott Walking Carbonic
THE END