Rhapsody

by Heather McKenzie

  Stephan smiled his approval. “You had no choice but to leave us behind. You did the right thing.” He gently released Kaya and pulled her to her feet. “Everybody, this is William,” he said proudly of the heavy-set man stoically at his side now. “He is my boyfriend.”

  “Fiancé,” William corrected, completely unimpressed with the lot of us.

  “Yes, fiancé. Sorry, it still feels sort of unbelievable to say it.”

  “Oh Stephan, I’m so happy for you,” Kaya said, clinging to him again.

  I was also about to congratulate Stephan with a bear hug and a hand shake, but he put his hand up to stop me, gaze drifting over my shoulder.

  “Wait, Oliver. I brought two others with me, and I hope you won’t be upset, but I didn’t know what else to do with them.”

  I turned around to see Davis, completely expressionless and eyes fixed on the sparkling ocean, and Sindra, perched under his arm, cowering.

  I felt heat flooding my cheeks. “What is she doing here?” I growled.

  I was expecting the old Sindra to get up in my face and threaten me with my life or give me an order to stand down, but this Sindra was completely broken. She flinched from my words and turned her face toward Davis, hiding against him as his arm tightened around her protectively.

  “They are homeless too?” Luke asked.

  Stephan nodded.

  “Well, forgiveness is a good thing,” Luke said softly, his hand patting my shoulder, urging me to agree. “We’ve all done some things we’re not proud of. No time like the present to move on from them.”

  He was right. Of course he was right. And by the wounded shape of Sindra, her payback had been more than even she deserved.

  I gave Luke a nod.

  “All right,” he said, taking control of our group of nine. “Seems like we’re having a big ol’ family Christmas this year. I don’t really dig ham, by the way. Or gifts.”

  “Or carols and Santa and cookies,” Marlene said.

  I couldn’t help myself. “Cookies? Really? C’mon already.”

  “Ooh. First husband and wife spat,” Luke teased.

  “Oh, blech!” said Marlene, but there was a little grin lighting up her eyes, and I noticed the ring was still on her finger.

  “So, onward and upward,” Luke said, reaching for Kaya and putting his arm around her. “I have a little sister to spoil rotten.”

  They led the way. Thomas reached for Marlene, putting an arm over her shoulders, which she quickly shrank away from and punched him for. Stephan and William linked hands, and Davis and Sindra sheepishly followed, glued together as if the slightest separation would kill them both. We all headed off the beach. I was last, savoring the heady breath of salt air and the waning ray of light skipping across the water, my dad’s last words just a distant memory.

  Marlene had slowed. She was at my side and tugging me forward, not scared of me now. “C’mon, big guy,” she said. “You should stick with me. We like the same sandwiches, and I`ll let you pick the tunes while I drive.”

  Her big brown eyes held mine, and I was caught.

  Well, Dad, the past might remain unsettled for a bit longer because the future has become far more interesting.

  December 25

  I was dreading the day, which was ridiculous. It was Christmas, and all the people I loved were together under one roof. But this was another morning I had woken up alone, and with every passing hour that Luke avoided me, the harder it was to get out of bed.

  Yes, there was the ‘agreement’ that I had my own room and no one should come near it. This was out of respect for Stephan who loudly exclaimed that if he caught anyone touching his ‘baby girl’ while he was around, they would wake up missing a few body parts. So Luke waited until everyone was asleep, then snuck into my bed and wrapped me in his arms. It was pure and utter bliss, sleeping and dreaming next to him. He’d disappear at first light then during the day seek me out in every corner of the house. We couldn’t bear to be away from each other, not for a second.

  Until three days ago.

  What had I done?

  I sat up and dragged a brush through my hair, listening to the ranch house come to life. The sound of feet in slippers swished up and down the hall, the bathroom taps came on, and squeals of excitement erupted from Louisa when she discovered that Santa paid a visit in the middle of the night. No presents I had insisted when Luke and I were still back at the coast and everything was perfect. There was no gift he could give me that could compare to being the center of his gaze. Having his heart beat against mine was all I needed. I had apologized for the note and for lying to him and trying to protect him, and he held me close, trembling when he said he understood. I just want you for Christmas, he had said, and I’d laughed and told him he was being corny and that I loved it—that I loved him.

  “You can’t expect me to just give you nothing,” he’d said after we stopped at a gift shop and bought every bunny-related item we would find; the trunk of the rental car was stuffed.

  “I really don’t want presents.” I meant it fully. “But I would like to give you one. What do you wish for?”

  He smiled that glorious smile that made the majestic mountains we were heading for pale in comparison. “I told you. All I want is you. If you can give me that, I would never want for anything else as long as I live.”

  I probably pinched myself a hundred times. Incredibly, I was awake. I told him I was his until the end of time.

  Yet, this morning, I had woken up alone.

  And I wasn’t sure why.

  The only good thing about today was at least there would be no priceless blue boxes that Oliver would have to coax me out of bed to open, and no anger that I would have to suppress toward Henry for not being there to personally deliver them. Stephan was freed from having to try to play the parent role and go out of his way to smother my sadness at not having the one thing I wished for every year; my mom and a father that paid attention to me. And mostly, I didn’t have to be that whiny, weak, and miserable little girl either.

  I peeled back the blankets, shocked by the frigid air, and pulled on a T-shirt, jeans, extra heavy socks, and a sweater. But instead of heading toward the action, I flopped back down on the bed.

  I needed one more minute before facing the day.

  Knuckles rapped lightly on the door, and then Thomas was pushing it open.

  “Are ya decent?” he asked. “Not that I care if you aren’t but, uh, hey? Why are you in bed?” He entered the room and shut the door behind him. “The big fella was here with his reindeer and everybody is up except you. Even Marlene has a smile on her face.” He smelled of soap. I tried not to notice he was freshly showered, his hair still damp, and skin glowing. He tugged at the collar of his shirt as if it was hot in here. Was he nervous?

  “You better not be coming in here with a gift,” I said.

  There was something in his hand that he tried to discreetly get into his back pocket. A small envelope?

  “Nope. Course not. I was just coming to check on you is all.”

  I smiled up at him, glad he changed his mind and put whatever he was about to give me away. “Thanks. I’m all right.”

  “My eldest sister didn’t much care for Christmas either,” he said.

  “Don’t you miss them? Don’t you wish you were home?”

  Thomas was so ruggedly beautiful. Even the way he shrugged his shoulders and brushed off his longing for his family was alluring. “I do. But they love me. They understand that I am doing what I have to do.”

  “Have to do?”

  Thomas sat on the edge of the bed, the pink coverlet sinking around his black jeans. “Want to do,” he corrected. “Being here, with you, is what I want.”

  “You mean, so you can watch over Marlene.”

  “Uh, yeah, of course.”

  Thomas picked at the blanket and I wondered if he was still contemplating the present he had shoved into his pocket. I really hoped he wouldn’t. I had nothing to give back.
>
  “What’s wrong, Kaya? I can see there’s something you’re not telling me.”

  I sat up. I couldn’t talk to him about Luke, but I could discuss the other thing on my mind. “What if I didn’t have this inheritance hanging over my head? Would things be different? Would I be a normal girl with a mom and dad who loved her simply because she was theirs?”

  “Whoa. Deep stuff for Christmas morning. But all right.” Thomas considered this. Rubbed his chin. “Probably. But that’s not what happened. The past is where it belongs, Kaya, in the past. Move ahead. Don’t overthink it or sift through every angle of it because what’s done is done. Here, and now…” he took my hand and placed it over his heart, “is what matters.”

  I could feel the heat rise in my cheeks as his pulse thrummed beneath my fingertips. He hadn’t touched me since we’d been here. Not even an accidental brush-by. I had to suppress the urge to crawl up to him, put my head on his chest, and relax against him like I used to. There was something so comforting about Thomas, so soothing. But instead, I sat very still, as if the slightest movement might propel me unstoppably forward.

  Thomas kissed the palm of my hand, then carefully placed it back on my lap. “I better go,” he said. “Everyone’s waiting for us and I shouldn’t be breaking the agreement.”

  He rose, then stopped and stared down at me. “You know I still love you,” he said, and there was a slight tremble to his hands when he reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. “And that love is for all the right reasons. When you want me, you just say the word.”

  I hung my head and sighed. “Thomas, really? You know that I am—”

  He put his hands up. “I know… I know. But you’re having reservations, aren’t you? I can see that your conscience is having a war with your heart. You won’t ever have that battle with me, ya know.”

  I had to give my head a shake. “What the heck are you talking about?”

  Thomas glanced over his shoulder to make sure the door was still closed. “I’m talking about the fact that I’m the right choice and you know it now. Luke is a criminal with unclear intentions and who-knows-what kind of motives.”

  “What?” I wanted to shove him out the door, anger welling up. “Are you referring to what I said to him on that beach? When I tried to make him hate me and leave so he wouldn’t be killed? That’s slinging mud, Thomas. You know I didn’t mean it.”

  “But you realize now that what you said was true.” Thomas’s eyes lowered, bracing himself for a fight.

  “No. It’s not true. And you can stop trying to mess with my head. You need to accept that there is nothing between us and move on.”

  “But you belonged to me for a little while, didn’t you?” He stared as if he could see clear into my soul.

  I held my ground, trying not to yell. “I don’t belong to anyone.” I was shaking with anger. “Love doesn’t make you someone’s property.”

  “Ah. So you have learned something from your relationship with Oliver. And you do love me.”

  This talking in circles was becoming exhausting. I reeled my temper in. “You know I care about you, Thomas. But that’s it. Now, just go.”

  His dark eyes searched mine, digging. “Why do you think Luke is avoiding you?”

  This question rattled me. “He is not avoiding me. He is just, uh, respecting the agreement,” I said, reminding myself to breathe. “No other reason.”

  “No. It’s because he knows.” He drew back.

  My breath caught. “Knows what?”

  Thomas crossed his arms over his chest. “About us. I told him.”

  The world spun for a moment. Three days ago, Luke had stormed out of the house and walked off for hours after having a conversation with Thomas. When he came back, his knuckles were bloody and his eyes stormy. He claimed he had ‘taken a fall’.

  “What exactly did you tell him?” I was glad I was sitting down.

  Thomas cleared his throat. Cracked his neck. “I told him about our night together. How you… came to my bed. I told him that you are in love with me as well, and he should back off so you can decide which of us you want.”

  It was like he’d slapped me. The sting of his words seized painfully as I realized that Luke had been avoiding me because of that. “Oh my God, Thomas, how could you?”

  He stood straight as an arrow, unapologetic. “I’m not going down without a fight, and since I can’t beat him with my fists, I’ll use logic.”

  “I was going to tell him when the time was right. He’s going to think I’m… I’m easy. Oh my God.”

  Thomas laughed. “Easy? A slut? C’mon. You had sex with one guy, once, and made out with me. That’s it. You’re human, Kaya, and you are supposed to and can enjoy the pleasures of being one. Now, I don’t like Luke, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what he’s thinking. How many chicks do you think he went through before he got to you? And do you think badly of him for it?”

  That thought almost doubled me over. “Thomas—”

  “We didn’t do anything wrong, Kaya, and you know that, so you can drop the guilt right this second. At least you know that what I have for you is real love, without any ulterior motives. I proved it to you that night when you crawled into my bed and let me have my way with you. I could have done whatever I wanted, but I respected your heart. I took a bullet for you instead, and I would a thousand times over if I had to. Luke is not the right man for you. I am. And it will only be a matter of time before you see that.”

  With that he left, shutting the door behind him as Louisa hollered, “Regan got me a real bunny!”

  The rest of the day was a blur. Toys, bunny poop, dishwashing, getting a Barbie leg dislodged from Brutus’s throat—whatever I could do to stay busy, I did. The tree sparkled with ornaments, Christmas carols relentlessly droned from the stereo, and Lisa and Thomas sang along while preparing our feast. He acted like our morning conversation had never happened. Luke acted like I’d broken his heart.

  Maybe I did.

  By four in the afternoon, the sun was getting ready to go down and I found Louisa curled up and sound asleep on Regan in the living room. Her head was on his chest, her favorite blanket was carefully draped over them both. Regan’s cast was covered in her artwork, and I was happy to see his toes weren’t purple anymore. He had an easy smile on his face, relaxed and sweet, and it was so strange how this cold and calculated brilliant doctor, hell-bent on avenging his sister’s death, was softened completely by the child in his arms.

  “Looks good on you,” I said, almost stepping on a stray chocolate ball.

  Regan rubbed Louisa’s back—the stubs of his missing fingers still red and rather frightening to look at. “I can’t wait to have kids of my own,” he said quietly.

  “Someday,” I said.

  Marlene, sound asleep on a love seat, mumbled something incoherent and turned onto her side, pillows falling to the floor. Her makeup was perfectly done and not one bit of the birthmark could be seen. I sidled past her, and my knees brushed Ellis’s where he was perched on the sofa. Nose deep in a book, he didn’t even glance up.

  “Sorry,” I said.

  Regan’s weird little brother gave no reply.

  I sank into a plaid chair. It had been Seth’s favorite. The fireplace smoldered, logs crackled and spit, and laughter came rolling out of the kitchen. How could Thomas carry on so effortlessly? And Luke, where was he?

  “Are you going to partake in the holiday ham or the turkey?” Regan asked.

  I was grateful for the distraction. “Those pigs at Marlene’s farm were so cute I can’t imagine eating one.”

  Ellis snorted. “But turkey is ugly enough for ya?”

  That was the first time he had said anything to me since he’d given me the fake number and map at the Death Race check-in booth. Was he being mean on purpose or was this a weird sense of humor? I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

  “If I had to pick one, then yeah, the ugly turkey. But with the amount of food in this
house, I can opt out of both.”

  Ellis was seeking an argument. “Vegetarians are weird,” he said. “Cute and fluffy, feathered and ugly, scaled and slimy… it’s an animal all the same.”

  “Well, if your brother was making paella, I wouldn’t turn that down,” I said. “Regan’s rabbit and rice with, what was it… saffron? Oh so good.”

  Regan smiled as we both remembered that night by the roaring campfire with the mouthwatering food. “Ah, yes indeed. I’ll make that for you again some time.”

  “By a river? But without the rabbit this time?”

  “Of course,” he smiled. “I’ll toss in some shrimp.”

  I laughed. “Ewe.”

  “A crumble of bacon?”

  “Ick.”

  “Then it would just be, uh, rice,” he said, grinning ear to ear.

  “Rice is good.”

  Ellis snorted again. He pulled the hood of his sweatshirt up over his red hair, the same color as Regan’s, and brought the book closer to his nose. Although he did have some resemblance to his brother, it pretty much ended at the pale skin and freckles. Ellis did not get the same startling good looks as Regan, and his face was riddled with teen acne. He was extremely mature for a young man—looking after his brother and Louisa, taking care of the ranch and all the animals—so the childish snorts seemed out of place.

  I chose to ignore him.

  “Where is everyone else?” I asked.

  Regan spoke softly as Louisa stirred against him. “Oliver is in the tub with a few cans of beer and quite possibly a Batman comic. Stephan and William are off for a walk, and the weirdos are hiding in their room, probably barricaded in the closet and fixing suicide packets to their molars.”

  “Regan,” I said quietly, “don’t make fun of Davis and Sindra. They’ve gone through stuff.”

  “Well, that stuff made them as cooked as the turkey I’m pretty sure Lisa is burning. I dropped a candy cane on the floor, and by the way they jumped, you’d think it was a grenade about to go off.”

  Ellis shook his head. “You mean, you threw a candy cane at them.”