Rhapsody

by Heather McKenzie

  “What?” Regan was looking at his brother incredulously. “Good Lord almighty, Ellis, I bloody well do not have a thing for Kaya.”

  Ellis, shaking head to toe, couldn’t hold back. “No… Luke. She’s going to take Luke away from you, and I hate her for that!”

  Luke spat out the wine he was sipping.

  Regan, smiling now, understood why his brother was acting out. “Ah,” he said, ruffling Ellis’s hair with his wounded hand, not making any effort to deny the claim. “You’re just looking out for your big brother, aren’t ya? Kind of a stupid way of going about it, though. But hey, you must know that I have no illusions about running off into the sunset with Luke. All right? Yeah, I love the guy, but not that way. I want him to be with whoever makes him happy.”

  Luke cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Uh, thanks man.”

  Regan gave him a wink. “No prob.”

  Ellis stared so hard at his plate I thought it might snap in half.

  “So, who wants desert?” Lisa asked, eager to change the subject.

  Pie, cake, and some sort of pudding with hot caramel sauce made us all pretty much forget the conversation. All nerves were soothed. Except mine. Stephan still had something he wanted to tell me, and I had a good idea what that was. Marlene—on her third or fourth piece of dessert—decided to take a breath between bites and speak to me. I knew she was trying to get my mind off Stephan, and I adored her for it.

  “I have been wondering,” she said, that spark still flickering in her gaze that didn’t stray from Oliver for too long. “What was Christmas really like for you? Did you have to spend the entire day in church? Or two weeks before the big day attaching creepy porcelain dolls to a plastic pine tree and icing deer-shaped cookies while wearing a musty Santa hat that smelled like Uncle Frank’s underarms? Was there a nativity scene made of plywood in your front yard? And did you ever have to lie in the cradle and pretend to be the baby Jesus because the boy who was supposed to do it ran off screaming after a goat licked him?”

  I laughed, picturing it perfectly. “Certainly not.”

  “Hives, then. How about them? Did you look forward every year to big itchy ones because someone always brought mistletoe or cranberries even though you said you were allergic countless times? Or how about tourtiere—mashed meats disguised as a pie—I mean, c’mon already. Or that God-awful Christmas cake you have to be polite and eat? Ugh. Oh, and aspic, that wiggly tomato gelatin salad. I have nightmares about that stuff.”

  Marlene shivered. Everyone giggled, even Ellis. Oliver’s eyes were like bright moons.

  “I don’t mind the gelatin stuff,” I said.

  “What? I don’t even think I want to know you anymore. You probably even enjoy shopping.”

  Marlene said the word ‘shopping,’ but she might as well have said ‘stabbing yourself in the face’. Oliver was beaming at her. Teeth blinding. “Kaya never shopped,” he said. “Stephan ordered her clothes online with his own money, and sometimes Sindra showed up with an armload of ridiculous things she would never wear. We didn’t exchange gifts at Christmas either. Henry didn’t allow it.”

  Marlene looked at Oliver incredulously. “Are you serious? No gifts? How sucky is that. And the bodyguard/nanny/hairdresser bought the clothes, eh? No wonder she has terrible fashion sense. Did you know she wore flip flops to a farm?”

  “Well, I had nothing else, and no money,” I said in my defense.

  “None?” said Ellis, and this time his eyes weren’t so filled with hatred.

  “None. Unless you count the jewelry I had in a safe in my room that I bartered with if I wanted pizza and stuff. And really, Oliver, I always got gifts, remember? Stephan would knit beautiful scarves, and you would get me candy from the fudge shop and—”

  “Iron Maiden,” Davis interjected.

  We all pretended we weren’t shocked to hear him speak. He was trying to be part of the conversation, and I was so happy about that I almost forgot what we were talking about. “Oh, yes. Davis introduced me to some great music. Last Christmas, he got me the complete Iron Maiden box set with a concert tour T-shirt.”

  Stephan nodded fondly. “That’s right. I was rather impressed when I heard the vocal stylings of Mr. Dickinson. And hey, how about that year the new maid brought you a puppy? You had a pet for about three hours…” His words trailed off. He’d forgotten that memory wasn’t a fond one for me.

  “What do you mean, three hours?” Ellis said, intrigued and horrified. “Did it die?”

  That puppy had lit up my life, until Sindra came to the door with my present from Henry—those sapphire earrings I’d given driver Dan—and promptly made an exchange. I had cried for the rest of the day and still prickled at the thought. Judging by the way Sindra pressed her lips together it wasn’t a good memory for her either.

  “No, it didn’t die,” I said, unable to prevent the slight crack in my voice. “It was taken away.”

  Ellis’s eyes met mine. All hostility gone. “Oh.”

  Oliver and Stephan remembered that day, too. They were left to console a crying child whose loss was far greater than the forfeited affection of a puppy.

  I took in a deep breath. “What’s done is done. It would have been a nuisance anyway.”

  Louisa rounded the table, took her bunny gently from Thomas, and went back to Regan’s lap.

  “Well,” William said, standing again and patting Stephan’s hand. “On that note, I think it is time to tell everyone what we’re doing.”

  Stephan became nervous. He folded his napkin and smoothed his already smooth mustache. His eyes leveled on mine. His smile did not hide his sadness. “I guess I might as well just come out and say it; William and I are… um… well, we’re leaving.”

  Oliver dropped his fork.

  He continued. “William made me promise him that after Christmas we would head east. So, I’m sorry, Kaya, but I have to go.”

  His words caught in his throat, so William spoke for him. “Yes, I’m taking Stephan away to wander the world with me and heal and be as far from Henry Lowen as possible. What he went through almost killed him, and his health has suffered. I cannot let him take part in any plans to get revenge or whatever it is you are all thinking of doing, so I gave him a choice; me or you, Kaya. He chose me.”

  His words hung heavily in the air. As I choked on the haze of them, I failed to ignore Thomas’s eyes intently watching me and choked on that, too.

  “You will be on your own from now on.” William’s hand held Stephan’s tightly. “Stephan will be saying goodbye to all of you, probably permanently. So you will need to say goodbye back.”

  I wasn’t shocked. Stephan had devoted his life to me, and now it was time for him to look after himself. As he watched for my reaction, waiting on edge, Luke patted my leg, and all at once I lost the urge to cry. I had everything I needed. Everyone I needed. This was right. It was time to let Stephan go.

  “When are you leaving?” I asked.

  William didn’t hesitate. “Tonight,” he said. “In about an hour.”

  I was up and out of my chair before another word was said. So was Stephan. Pulling away from William, he enveloped me in his fuzzy sweater arms—those arms that had always been there for me.

  “You deserve to be happy,” I said.

  His body relaxed in relief. “Thank you, baby girl. It’s what I have to do, and now that you are well protected and there are people here that love you as much as I do—”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said, smiling and keeping the tears away even though his were flowing. I was strong now, stronger than I had ever been, and he could see it. “You know, every year I wished for my father to spend Christmas with me,” I said into his neck. “I wanted my father, but I didn’t realize until now that every year that wish actually came true. You were the daddy every little girl dreams of. My fierce warrior and protector—the first man I genuinely loved.”

  He squeezed me tighter, his familiarity and unconditional love blocking out everyon
e else in the room. We held each other for a long time. For the last time.

  “We’re both going to be okay,” I said, staying strong for both of us.

  “I’ll call you on my wedding day.” He was choking up. “And always remember, I’m so very proud of you, and I’ll love you forever, Chloe Alexandra.”

  “I’ll love you forever too, Stevie Muffins.”

  An hour later, he was gone.

  The whirlwind of the day had finally caught up to me. Marlene, Oliver, and Regan were playing a game of charades and everyone else had gone to bed, Thomas being the first within seconds of finishing dinner. Curled up next to Luke on the ratty couch, music drifted softly in and out of my ears. Occasionally, I peeled my eyelids apart to see the sparkling lights of the tree softening Regan’s sharp features and adding even more of a glow to Oliver’s smitten face. Marlene was basking in Oliver’s attention and laughing at Regan’s lewd jokes, and this cozy scene made me relax even more.

  I was near dreamland when I felt my body lifted off the couch and into Luke’s arms. He headed down the hall, avoiding the squeak in the floorboards right outside where Lisa and Louisa slept, and the proximity of his body against mine brought me fully awake. When he pushed open the door and oh so carefully placed me on the bed, desire for him flooded me ears to toes.

  “Goodnight, Kaya,” he said, leaning in to kiss my forehead.

  “Stephan’s gone. You can stay,” I said, reaching for him, unable to bear the thought of being apart another night.

  He seemed wildly conflicted. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I don’t think I have the strength to keep my hands off you.”

  “You don’t have to,” I said, searching his eyes only to have him look away.

  He cleared his throat. “But we have… I uh… well I—”

  I knew what he was hinting at, so I mustered up the courage to inform him. “Lisa gave me her, um, birth control pills. Said she would never need them again. I’ve been taking them since we got here.”

  “Oh,” Luke breathed, wavering above me, not coming closer, but not leaving either.

  I was suddenly shaking, but I didn’t feel nervous. Not with him. I reached to pull him closer, but stopped when I noticed something on the bedside table. His gaze fell to it too, and we both awkwardly gawked at an envelope with my name on it.

  “It’s from Thomas,” Luke said.

  He stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest, clearly unsure whether to pick it up and tear it to shreds, read it, or storm out of the room.

  “It’s not important.” At least, that’s what I hoped. My heart pounded, though. I had been so angry at Thomas, shooting bullets at him over dinner with my eyes, but now I wanted to know if he was okay.

  I swallowed hard. “Really, Luke, it can wait.”

  “Don’t you want to know what he has to say?” he asked through gritted teeth.

  I couldn’t help but smile at the big jealous lug, muscles all tense, jaw gritted, eyes staring at the envelope like he was going to fight it. So I got up, went to the closet, and tossed it in.

  “It doesn’t matter.” I shut the door and turned to face the love of my life.

  He still hadn’t moved.

  “Luke,” I put my hands on his cheeks and made him look at me. “It doesn’t matter what anyone says or does, I am yours. Forever and always.”

  That released him from his trance. Before I knew it, I was shoved backward onto the pillows as his mouth hungrily sought mine. His kisses were hurried and untamed, like he couldn’t get enough fast enough. His tongue explored, and his lips pressed against mine, then they trailed across my cheek and down my throat as he was careful not to crush me beneath his weight. All my senses were consumed with him; the feverish longing in his eyes, the press of his body, the heat and smell of his skin, and the almost frantic way he had started fumbling with my clothes. Palm hot against the plane of my stomach, his breath hitched when the touch of his hands elicited a moan I could not contain.

  “Are you sure about this?” he asked.

  I didn’t want to stop him. He was everything, everything good and real and loving. My truth. My future. My home. I wanted to know his mind, his heart, and his body.

  “Yes,” I said as my hands fumbled over him, eager to feel and see what was underneath the cotton between us. I was grateful when he took his shirt off and tossed it to the floor.

  “Sit up,” he ordered.

  I did, but I pushed his hands to the bed when he reached for me. I had to have a moment to explore him with my fingertips and my eyes.

  “You make me crazy,” he murmured as I traced the claw-mark scar on his chest then the heavy black tattoo on his ribs. I was elated to cause him goosebumps and turn them into little shivers when I grazed the taut skin over his powerful arms. His eyes became so filled with desire my entire body began melting from the heat. How could a human being be so beautiful? How could I ever stop touching him?

  “Take this off,” he said, reaching for my shirt.

  It was tossed to the floor next to his, then so was my bra, and it was his turn to explore—and I discovered what paradise felt like. When his mouth returned to mine, his hands wound in my hair, and he pressed his weight against me until I was beneath him. Leaning on his elbow, my sweat pants disappeared before I could grasp the fact that I was naked beneath him.

  “If you want me to stop I will,” he said, voice like butter, melting all over me.

  “Luke…” I wanted him so badly it hurt. “I’m new at this. I’m not sure what to do.”

  “That’s okay. I do.”

  “You’re, um, very experienced.” A statement. Not so much a question.

  He smiled that glorious, mind-melting, heart-skipping-a-beat, fall-to-the-knees, smile. “I’ve had girlfriends before, Kaya,” he said, slightly breathless. “So, you could say that I am experienced enough to know that when you came along, I realized what I felt was entirely new, completely different and totally life-changing. No other woman could ever compare to you. No one else matters.”

  He waited a moment for an objection from me.

  “I don’t want you to stop,” I said.

  He kissed me, oh so gently, then trailed his hand across my stomach to find the part of me that wanted his touch the most.

  “Oh, dear God,” he mumbled as I became liquid against his touch. Panting now above me, his eyes fixed on mine, and by the fluttering of his lashes, what he was doing felt as amazing to him as it did to me. I surrendered completely to his desires as they unhinged my own. His hips were bare against mine. He was trembling as his knees moved mine apart. Slowly, carefully, he fit our bodies together. His soul met mine. We became one. Ecstasy didn’t even begin to be a word to describe what I was feeling. I thought I’d uncovered paradise before, but now I was running through its fields and rolling down its hills. The joining of our bodies through intimacy took the meaning of love to a whole new level. The world disappeared, and there was only us adrift in the universe.

  “Kaya Lowen,” Luke breathed, holding me captive beneath him, and suddenly his body became maddeningly still. “Will you marry me?”

  I hesitated, only because I was speechless, overwhelmed, and somewhere on cloud nine. “Of course.”

  He smiled, and his blue eyes lit the room.

  He’d been holding back, because now he moved in so deep I couldn’t think around it, couldn’t breathe, and gave in to waves of pleasure that rocked my entire body. This fueled his fire even more, and when he began to shudder in release, I memorized every nuance of his face to add it to my ‘keep forever’ memory book.

  I was the luckiest girl in the entire world.

  Breathing hard with our hearts still in sync, I trailed my fingers down the sweat on his spine. I loved the feeling of his wet skin and the smell of him—the incredible male smell of him. He didn’t move off me, keeping our bodies still perfectly joined together head to toe.

  “I could do that every minute for the rest of my life,” I said aga
inst his neck, tasting the salt of him while he worked to catch his breath. I felt him respond to my touch and the strength of his body instantly had mine back in a frenzy.

  He started to move his hips again. “Okay.”

  The sun peeked in through the curtains.

  “Do we tell them we’re engaged?” Luke said, rolling over to face me, grinning ear to ear with an impossibly gorgeous sleepy-dreamy look about him.

  “Tell them?” I said, so blissed-out and relaxed I was now part of the bed. “I don’t know how we will even get out of this room.”

  Just as I said it, we both caught the incredible smell of pancakes and Lisa’s cinnamon rolls.

  “Food might be the only thing to tempt me away from you,” Luke said, his chin lifting toward the aroma. “I’m absolutely starved.”

  “Me, too.”

  Sitting up, I let the blanket fall away, not shy anymore after the incredibly intimate night and better part of the morning we had together. The fact that my body could get such a reaction from him sent my self-confidence right through the roof. I could feel his eyes on my back and knew if I turned around, there would be no getting out of this bed for a long while.

  “Breakfast is probably a good idea,” I said as my stomach growled.

  “Wait.” He caught my shoulder and pulled me back to him, tugging the blanket up around us to keep out the chill. “First, I have to talk to you. About last night.”

  My heart stopped for one insane second. He’d become so serious it was alarming.

  “When I asked you to marry me—”

  Oh God, was he taking it back?

  “I was, well, I was rather overcome at the moment.”

  My chest hurt. “You mean, you didn’t mean it?”

  He pulled away to look at me. “What? Jeezus, no! What I’m failing miserably at trying to say is, that I may have asked you under the wrong circumstances. I didn’t really do it the right way.”