Concerto in Chroma Major

by Naomi Tajedler

  “We are gathered here today,” Alexandra says, with Halina’s hand squeezed in hers, “because you are the most important people in our lives in Paris—”

  “Thanks for the precision.” Leo cuts her off; his tone alone grates on Halina’s nerves. “Makes me all warm inside.”

  Before she can tell him where exactly he can shove his ego, Alexandra moves her leg. Leo’s wince of pain is a balm to Halina’s feelings.

  That’s my girl.

  “Don’t be stupid,” Alexandra says sternly. “We live in Paris; presenting you as our most important persons here is a compliment, and you know it, so zip it.”

  Leo does clam up. Unbelievable.

  “All right, so we are your BFFs,” Ari intervenes, leaning forward on their elbows, body twisted toward Leo in one sinuous line. “And if I got this right, you want us all to get along as a big, queer family.”

  “Gay-mbaya,” Leo comments with a smirk, and Ari reluctantly responds to his proffered hand in a high-five.

  Halina glances at Alexandra, who shrugs. If the pair uses mocking them as a bonding tool, it’s as good as any other solution.

  “Before we all braid each other’s hair in a big, rainbow circle, let’s eat and we’ll take it from here?” Halina suggests as she unfolds the menu.

  Ari sighs and then nods in agreement. “I guess—let’s unite the two coasts,” they add, offering their fist for Alexandra until she bumps it.

  Halina focuses on Leo, who shrugs. “Let’s work on the European Union?”

  They shake hands, and Halina squeezes his hand just a bit too tightly.

  Ari returns their attention to Leo with a hunger entirely unrelated to the menu. “What about working on the bond between the US and the EU?” they ask sweetly, with their chin cupped in their palm.

  “Should we leave them alone?” Alexandra whispers, and Halina shakes her head.

  “Ari is always better with an audience.”

  “Oh my.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Leo is going to be eaten alive, isn’t he?”

  “One can hope.”

  “Lina…”

  “Sorry, sorry,” Halina says, barely suppressing a laugh as she lifts Alexandra’s hand to kiss her knuckles. “Old habits. It should be interesting,” she adds, observing Leo and Ari.

  “Mm hmm.”

  Leo mirrors Ari’s posture; his arms are crossed over the table as he flexes his biceps. “I’m all for intercontinental friendships,” he purrs. “Besides, isn’t your side of the US home to Little Italy? This was fate.”

  “Little Italy?”

  “Maybe yours. Mine is Italia grandissima.”

  “You don’t say?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  Alexandra claps her hands. “If you’re done with this preliminary pissing contest, maybe we can move on? Or just wait for us to be gone to continue?”

  “Sure, principessa,” Leo replies, beaming at her.

  “Whatever, Cali,” is Ari’s response, and Alexandra squints at them.

  “Bite me, East Coast.”

  “Do I need to turn this car around?” Halina cuts in.

  “Funny to have you play the mom-friend,” Ari says mirthfully from behind their menu. “So responsible, all of a sudden…”

  “It’s called growing up, maybe you can try it sometime.” The smile Alexandra gives her is well worth the second eye-roll from Ari.

  “You didn’t always sing such a tune, is all I’m saying.”

  Alexandra leans forward, an ominous glint in her eyes. “You don’t say.”

  “Ari…”

  “Hey, now come on, boss; you want us to bond, you said so yourself.”

  “I don’t want you to bond over dirt on me!”

  Both Ari and Alexandra give her epic puppy looks: dangerous alone, fatal in tandem.

  O, Boże, what have I done.

  While Ari starts telling a tale of one of her less-glowing moments, Halina smiles at Leo, and he replies with a fond smile of his own.

  Maybe this won’t be so hard after all.

  Epilogue

  D Major

  Blues and Silvers

  “I have a key to your hotel room. It’s only fair to give you a way to surprise me, too, now that you have fewer rehearsals.”

  Halina enjoys the domesticity of being able to wait for Alexandra to come home. How Alexandra’s apartment has become her home is a constant bewilderment, but she has learned to live with it. Her life has two parts: Before and After Alexandra. BA, domesticity was a nightmare, the epitome of surrender to a routine bound to be Halina’s downfall, a fear she could only respond to with flight. She never thought she could fall in love, let alone with such a woman as Alexandra, with her complex blend of restraint and passion.

  After Alexandra, domesticity became a harbor, an anchor in the storm to keep her afloat and at peace.

  Halina’s fingers curl in Punshki’s fur, and he tips his head back to grace her with one of his doggy smiles. His tongue lolls as his tail thumps against the couch. The door opens slowly, and Punshki jumps from her lap to trot to his rightful owner. Halina instantly misses his weight on her lap.

  O, Boże, her past partners would have a field day if they could see her now, settled in a relationship, and not only that, craving displays of affection such as cuddles and other snuggles. She may have rejected it all in the past, but she now craves it.

  Love changes a person in remarkable ways.

  “Welcome home, słoneczna.” She stands, gathers the two glasses of wine she had prepared for Alexandra’s return in one hand and buries her free hand in Alexandra hair. Smooth jazz plays in the background.

  “Good evening, ba—hey!” The pet name dissolves into an exclamation as she takes in Halina’s appearance. “Wow!”

  Halina flushes at the open praise. She runs her hand through her hair; the longer strands are barely long enough to reach the nape of her neck now. “Ta-da?”

  Alexandra remains silent, slowly stroking Punshki’s fur. Her dark eyes are locked onto Halina.

  “You hate it,” Halina laments. “It will grow back quickly, and I’ll have Rapunzel’s hair all over again before you—”

  “Don’t you dare.” Alexandra’s voice is close to the purr Halina loves so much. Letting Punshki go down, she cups Halina’s face in her hands. Her fingertips caress the short strands. “You were magical, always have been, but this—it frees you.”

  Halina’s chest almost hurts with relief. “Rea-really?”

  Alexandra pulls her toward her to give her a kiss. “It suits you,” she says as she folds herself into Halina’s arms and dips her head to nestle it under Halina’s chin. “Ah, it’s good to be home.”

  Halina pets her hair and shoulders. Alexandra’s warmth seeps through her clothes and she takes comfort in this bubble of love she never thought she would be allowed to enjoy. “Shower, wine, and sushi?” she suggests.

  The vibrations of Alexandra’s purr resonate between their chests. “Switch sushi with burgers, and I’m in,” Alexandra replies, mock-drunkenly.

  Halina smothers a laugh in Alexandra’s hair and presses a kiss to her forehead. “All right, słoneczna,” she says. “Come on, I am not carrying you into the shower.”

  “Even if I beg?”

  “I would definitely enjoy it, but no.”

  “Even if I promise to do anything you want?”

  “Anything?”

  “Any—” Alexandra is cut off by a yawn. “Anything.”

  “We’ll revisit my darkest, most nefarious plans some other time, when you can actually do something. Let’s go, słoneczna.”

  The walk to the bathroom is a lazy affair. Alexandra’s state of fatigue is even more obvious once she starts undressing. As she drops her shirt and jeans haphazardly on the floor, a grima
ce of pain crosses her face before a deep yawn makes her throw her head backward. She stretches her back, rolls her shoulders, and lifts one hand toward Halina. “Join me?”

  Halina’s heart quickens with excitement. If she had a tail, she would be powerless to stop its frenetic wag. “B-but what about the burgers?”

  Alexandra wiggles her fingers impatiently, beckoning Halina to her. “They can wait.”

  Halina’s dress is off before Alexandra can finish her sentence. Once they are both in the shower, she puts her hands on Alexandra’s hips and kisses the tattoo at the base of her neck.

  “Love you,” she whispers against the rainbow cardiogram pattern, and Alexandra bends her head back to look at her upside down.

  “Je t’aime aussi,” she replies before stepping away from her to modulate the temperature of the water and the various sprays. “Now, serious talk: warm-warm or boiling-warm?”

  “You’re the one who needs the shower the most, you decide.”

  Alexandra turns the knobs until the temperature suits her. Then she gives Halina a sly, sideways glance. “I love this side of you,” she says, with a raised eyebrow. “I’ll have to remember to appeal to it more often.”

  Her eyes cloud for a split second. The unspoken “while I can” rings between them with the strength of a bum note on a piano, and Halina bites her lower lip to keep the words in. She has a plan, a plan she intends to stick to.

  “You would abuse your power and knowledge so ruthlessly?” she asks, her body fitted behind Alexandra in the shower. “I am appalled.”

  The clouds in Alexandra’s eyes disappear, and she pokes Halina’s nose. “Without a shred of hesitation.”

  “Ruthless.” Halina makes a mock attempt to bite Alexandra’s finger before she finds a bottle of shampoo from the shelf. She squirts some of it into her hand and massages it into Alexandra’s curls. “Maybe I love this side of you.”

  Alexandra’s answering giggle dissolves into a moan as Halina presses her fingertips into her scalp. Halina was already on hot coals while she waited for Alexandra to come home, but the sounds coming from Alexandra’s mouth turn those feelings into white-hot arousal.

  With one hand on Alexandra’s hip, Halina makes her turn to face her and tilts her head under the water to rinse away the shampoo. Taking advantage of her stretched neck, she kisses and kitten-licks the wet skin of her throat in abstract patterns. Her hands slide down to palm Alexandra’s full breasts, and she brushes her thumbs against the hardening nubs.

  How she ever judged this woman to be anything but spectacular is beyond her.

  “Lina,” Alexandra mumbles, her hands on Halina’s shoulders, “babe, I, uh—love where this is going, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t—”

  “Shh.” Halina removes her hands from Alexandra’s breasts to pull her close. “It’s okay, just wanted to make you all relaxed and happy.”

  Alexandra’s expression is the epitome of contentment. “I am.”

  “Achievement, then.”

  “You fucking dork.”

  Halina is not about to correct her, and they manage to wash themselves without too many incidents. Alexandra nearly jabs her elbow in Halina’s ribs, and Halina almost hits Alexandra with the showerhead, but the would-be injuries are avoided with laughter and pecks on cheeks.

  “One day we will have shower sex,” Halina says as they emerge from the stall.

  Alexandra raises an eyebrow before giving her one of her fluffiest towels.

  “What?”

  “Oh, we theoretically can,” Alexandra replies while she shakes her hair and sprays an anti-frizz conditioner on it. “I just think we need some practice to make sure we don’t injure ourselves, and I’ll be so busy the next couple of weeks before—”

  “Before you leave” goes unsaid; Halina’s departure once again comes between them. Halina can’t put Alexandra through this torture any longer. Alexandra’s smile is too painful, her demeanor too compliant, to endure any longer.

  “Yeah, about that…” Halina starts.

  “Yes?”

  Alexandra’s tone doesn’t leave any room for delay. Her whole demeanor demands answers fast.

  “What if I were to tell you I don’t have to leave in two weeks?”

  A quick succession of emotions crosses Alexandra’s face: hope, excitement, and confusion.

  “You’re taking a holiday? The first one in, what, ten years? Good for you, babe.”

  Try again, my little słoneczna.

  “Well, yes and no.”

  Alexandra braces herself on the sink and frowns at Halina. “What do you mean?”

  “I will take a month of holidays,” Halina replies slowly, “but I won’t have to leave afterward.”

  From Halina’s point of view, her meaning is more than obvious. Either Alexandra refuses to believe what she hears, or she is more tired than Halina thought. Alexandra’s frown deepens into three lines on her forehead. “Explain.”

  Halina drops her towel and stands facing Alexandra, so close Alexandra has to tilt her head up to maintain eye contact.

  “May I introduce you to the new pianiste en résidence for the Philharmonie de Paris,” she says softly, cupping Alexandra’s face with her thumb on the hinge of her jaw.

  Alexandra’s eyes open wide and her mouth drops open.

  “Wha—” She makes a weird sound, somewhere between a giggle and a sob, and puts her arms around Halina’s neck. Halina keeps them from toppling against the sink.

  “You are now the soloist for the Philharmonie,” she repeats, waiting for Halina’s nod to press an enthusiastic kiss to her lips. “For—for how long?”

  Halina’s smile widens, and she kisses the tip of Alexandra’s nose. “Five years, for starters.”

  Alexandra barks a tearful laugh. “For starters, she says,” she mumbles before pulling Halina to her for a deeper, more passionate kiss. “So you’re staying?”

  “For as long as you’ll have me.”

  In the second Alexandra takes to reply, her expression is the most open Halina has ever faced. Her girlfriend is usually easy to read, but never so much as she is now. Her eyes are wide and wet, and now a lighter hue. The color, such an important part of what drew Halina into her orbit, makes Alexandra appear younger, more vulnerable with this added light, in a way that’s directly connected to Halina’s heartstrings. Her lips are parted in a disbelieving smile, and Halina wants to kiss them again and again.

  Alexandra pulls Halina impossibly closer, so Halina’s hipbone digs into Alexandra’s soft belly.

  “I’m not letting you go anytime soon,” she says softly, and claims Halina’s lips in a deep kiss while she twists her fingers in the short hair on Halina’s nape.

  As she lets herself be swept away in the kiss, Halina already thinks of the music and colors they’ll inspire each other to create.

  Concertos of colors, canvases of music… as far as she can see.

  The End

  Glossary

  French

  Au contraire: On the contrary

  Bienvenu(s): Welcome

  Bonsoir: Good evening

  C’est prêt: It’s ready

  Cœur d’artichaut: Literally, artichoke heart. Figuratively, someone who falls in love easily

  Comme d’habitude: As usual

  Corps d’orchestre: Orchestra

  Crétin: Moron

  Je t’aime aussi: I love you too

  Merde: Shit

  Moelleux au chocolat: Chocolate fondant

  Non: No

  Oui: Yes

  Passage du désir: Literally, desire’s way. In the story, the name of a Parisian adult “lovestore”

  Pianiste en résidence: Official pianist

  Pièce à quatre mains: A piece played by two people, hence, four hands

  Pièce de ré
sistance: Centerpiece

  Pierre et le Loup: Peter and the Wolf. Russian musical tale written and composed by Prokofiev in 1936

  Premier violon: First violin, Concertmaster

  Putain: Fuck (in French, can take many meanings, from pure rage to extreme satisfaction)

  Que sera, sera: Whatever will be, will be

  Réservation: Booking

  Tire, tire l’aiguille: Pull, pull the thread. French version of a traditional Yiddish song

  Veinarde: Lucky girl

  Hebrew

  Gett: Divorce in accordance to Jewish religious laws

  Hag sameah: Happy holiday

  Hanukkah: Jewish holiday commemorating the rededication of the Second Holy Temple in Jerusalem. It occurs between late November and late December in the Gregorian calendar

  Ima: Mother

  Ma’oz t’zur: Jewish liturgical poem sung for Hanukkah in the Ashkenazi tradition since the 13th century. The poem is quite long, but the part in the novel is translated as:

  O mighty stronghold of my salvation,

  To praise You is a delight.

  Restore my House of Prayer

  And there we will bring a thanksgiving—

  Mehitsa: Separating wall between men and women in a synagogue (temple)

  Meshuga: Crazy

  Motek: Sweetie, darling

  Nessya tova: Safe trip

  Italian

  Cara mia: My dear

  Carissima: Dearest

  Certo: Of course

  Italia grandissima: Greatest Italy

  Principessa : Princess

  Signora : Madam

  Une vera e propria musa: A genuine source of inspiration

  Polish

  Anioł: Angel

  Barszcz: Polish beet soup

  Bombka / Bombki: Handmade glass baubles

  Buhaj: Bull

  Cześć: Bye

  Diabełek: Devil

  Drań: Scoundrel, villain

  Dzidzia: Baby

  Gówno: Shit

  Idioto: Stupid

  Ja pierdolę: Fuck

  Kumpel: Buddy

  Kurde: Fuck, damn it

  Lulajze jezuniu: Traditional Polish Christmas hymn

  Makowiec: Poppy seed pastry