Fifteen Years

by Allison Rios

  “I will,” Rae responded.

  “This century?”

  “I just need a minute.”

  “You’ve known the Preston family for years, Rae.”

  “Yeah. As their son’s classmate. As the girl who comes to pick up groceries for her mom. Not as their son’s girlfriend.”

  “You’re not the first girlfriend in the family, you know.”

  “I know. But what if they don’t like me?”

  “Rae, they’ll like you. They already do. And when they see how crazy James is about you, they will be so happy for him.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because we’re all crazy about you. I happen to think you’re about the best thing that could ever happen to my best friend. You’re smart and kind and funny. I like you. My opinion goes a long way, you know, when it comes to the Preston family.”

  When he’d said the words back then, he’d meant them with his whole heart. He’d adored Rae; they all had. He’d have gone to the ends of the earth to help her. After all she’d done, however, he felt like rushing over to the storefront and demanding that she leave town before she could wreak a world of havoc on his friend.

  He stood up to do just that when he caught a glimpse of Nella prepping the inventory outside her boutique. She sent him a glare that reminded him of the promise he’d made her not more than five minutes before. Micah tossed his half-full cup in the garbage and headed in the opposite direction of the grocery store to anywhere he couldn’t see Rae, and waited for the phone call he most certainly would receive from James.

  Chapter 9

  Friday, October 2

  Rae breezed through the aisles. The setup and products hadn’t changed in twenty years, and she located everything in half the time it would have taken her in Chicago. As she neared the last aisle, she spotted the only cashier in the store – James Preston.

  He looked the same as he had years before, though with a bit more muscle on his thin frame. His hair had darkened a bit even though the haircut hadn’t changed. A light beard speckled his face and housed a few gray hairs, and a couple wrinkles had found their way into the corners of his eyes. His smile remained as radiant as it had been nearly every moment they’d been together.

  She couldn’t draw her attention away from him. If she could be honest with herself, she’d say she wouldn’t draw her attention away from him. Rae attempted to stifle the increasing beats pounding in her chest only to realize resistance was futile; the rush of memories washed over her as a blush spread across her cheeks.

  Fourteen years earlier, she’d flown halfway across the country in a plane riddled by turbulence and driven another five hours to see him one day near the end of their freshman year of college. Her heart felt much the same then as now, bursting with excitement and fear all at once. She’d been prepared to tell him how much she loved him; how every moment with him made her a better person. The twisting pathways winding around campus to his dorm seemed longer than they had ever been and each step built more anxiety within her rapidly pounding heart. She knew she had no right to be there, no right to ask him to give her another chance. Just months before she’d sat crying in his dorm talking about another guy, only to give him the ammunition he needed to be done with her. She told him she was bad news for him. She would only hurt him, she’d convinced him. She’d handed him everything she thought he’d need to tell her to take a hike.

  The months in between their encounters back then brought much thought and an exploration of her soul. She’d wanted to let go of the fear and the drama and invite in all the love she’d been pushing away. With an apology planned and a new hope for the future, she’d boarded the plane to catch him before the semester let out and he went off to travel the world.

  She hadn’t even made it to his dorm before she saw him talking to a girl near the entrance. Her eyes rose up the concrete stairs to where the girl stood, leaning back against the wall for support. The fear turned to crippling pain as she saw him drop to one knee and open a tiny box filled with enormous opportunity. Everything she wanted was there on that step, but another woman would be spending the rest of her life with the man Rae would love for the rest of hers.

  “Hey there, Raelyn!” James’ voice shook her from her memory and brought her crashing into the present. She caught him closing the gap between them and the claustrophobia set in. “Raelyn Pinemore! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

  Every inch of her wanted to pull him into her arms and feel his around her, yet she fought the urge and instead shakily reached out a hand.

  “Hi, James.” He seemed confused at her gesture but took her hand and shook it. “How, uh, how are you?” she asked.

  “Good, doing good. I heard you were coming back to town.”

  “You did? From who?” Her questions sounded almost accusatory.

  “Nella. She’s become quite the cook and is in here daily to buy fresh stuff for her kitchen. According to her, they had to blackmail you to come back.”

  “Basically.” Rae smiled nervously and tightened her grip on the groceries to hide any trembling in her extremities.

  “Being back is that bad?”

  “It’s different.”

  “I bet. Nella said you’ve been in Chicago. Your mom stops in and sometimes talks about the commercials you’re working on. I’ve seen a few on television. You’re as creative as you are smart.”

  “Thanks.” The struggle to find some way to break the tension clawed at her. “So, Raelyn, huh?”

  “Well, I’m not sure what you go by now. I figured you might prefer your full name, what with your big job and all.”

  “Rae is just fine,” she smiled. It had been a long time since anyone had called her by her full name.

  “I’m sorry,” he countered, clearly not wanting to offend her.

  “Don’t apologize! Just seems odd. I mean, we … you know,” she said, unable to actually speak of how intimate they’d been at one time. “Raelyn seems too formal for the past we have.” He nodded in agreement and a smile tugged at his lips again.

  “So, um, are you going tomorrow?”

  “Tomorrow?”

  “The reunion.”

  Thoughts of everything and anything eluded her. She grabbed into the empty abyss of her mind for anything to say. The sight of him brought back every emotion she’d ever felt for him, all at once.

  “Oh, the reunion. Yeah. For a bit. Nella, Ava, and Brooke are forcing me to.”

  “You must really hate this place, huh?”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Your best friends had to blackmail you to come back and are forcing you to hang out with us small town people this weekend.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t mean it that way.”

  “It’s alright Rae, I’m just teasing you. You’ve been gone so long, I’m sure while this whole place is familiar, it still seems all new to you.”

  That smile. One side of his mouth always raised slightly above the other with his perfect pink lips. She couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth from going rogue and turning upwards in a gesture of betrayal to herself.

  “It’s good to see you again. It’s been what, just under fifteen years?” He broke the tension and created some space between them as he took her grocery basket and led her towards the checkout counter.

  “That sounds about right,” she replied. “You look like life’s treating you well.”

  “It is.” He smiled as he rang up her items. “I could say the same to you.”

  “Yeah.” She laughed. “You should see the city. It’s gorgeous. There’s so much to do there, and so many people.”

  “Maybe I’ll come visit sometime. Sounds like it would be a lot of fun.”

  “You’ve never been to Chicago? It’s like, six hours away.”

  “And how many times have you come home?”

  “Point taken. But I thought you wanted to travel?”

  “What we want and what life actually brings us are very different,�
� James replied. “Never did end up doing much traveling. It might be helpful to take a break and go somewhere new.”

  She nodded and handed him the money her mom had sent her with.

  “Tell your parents I said hello,” Rae said, tucking the change into her pocket. She suddenly wanted to ask him more, but she didn’t want to sound too interested.

  “You do the same,” he replied. “Oh, Rae?”

  “Yeah?”

  “A bunch of us are going out tomorrow night before the reunion. Just getting dinner at the bar, maybe shooting some pool. Do you want to come?”

  Instantly, she was sixteen again and standing in front of a gray locker as the boy of her dreams asked her to go somewhere with him.

  “Maybe. I promised the girls I’d spend as much time as possible with them. They won’t let me go back on my promise.”

  “They’ll be there, too.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Think about it. I would really like to sit and talk with you again.”

  The quiet of the nearly empty store shattered with the squeals of an excited little girl.

  “Look what Nana and Papa bought me!”

  The petite, blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauty stopped just short of James while her slender teenage fingers clutched a necklace.

  “That looks nice,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and giving her a quick hug. Instinctively, Rae backed away and the adrenaline woke up every inch of her body. “Ruth, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. This is Raelyn Pinemore. Raelyn, this is Ruth Pinemore.”

  The shock overtook her senses and her lips wouldn’t form the words her mind fought to get out. She’d always assumed James had continued on with his life and had a gaggle of kids running around somewhere. Just moments earlier, she’d felt as anxious as she had the first time she’d visited the store and suddenly there was a living, breathing reminder that she was far less important to him now because he had a full life without her. She’d momentarily forgotten that James had already chosen a woman to love and any of those remaining butterflies had best flutter away.

  Rae nervously reached out a hand, and the young woman firmly shook it.

  “Is it still Pinemore?” James regretted the words as soon as he said them; he knew from the girls she was still a Pinemore and had a feeling his words probably sounded more like a dig than a question.

  “Yes, still Pinemore,” Rae said. “Nice to meet you, Ruth.”

  For more years than she cared to admit, she’d tried to ban any thoughts of possibly loving him again from her imagination. She’d ignored the recurring dreams and the trips down memory lane. She’d forbidden any of her friends from talking about him or his life. She’d finally discarded the mementos that remained from their courtship, theoretically cementing the end of whatever sliver of hope had lingered in anticipation of a reunion.

  In two minutes, the entire fortress she’d built to keep those emotions away tumbled down from an earthquake of want. The wishes of a teenager in love flooded in and pain took over the anguish. She nearly doubled over from the searing bolt rushing through her.

  “Rae?” His voice overlapped her thoughts, and she ignored it completely.

  She clutched the groceries as she fought to stay upright. Rae excused herself and began her walk home as she struggled to dismantle the agony surging through her, both physically and emotionally. Digging through her purse, she clutched a prescription bottle and hastily tore off the lid to pop one in her mouth. She swallowed without a hint of liquid; a sign of the expertise she’d developed in taking her medication.

  She heard him call her name a few more times from the sidewalk and forced herself to keep walking. She’d never been more confident she should have stayed away from Jessup and the heartbreak the town could offer.

  She wondered if it would have been easier to keep tabs on him all those years instead of finding out about his life in one blinding encounter. He’d always been one to surprise her with big news, whether he meant to or not.

  Prom, for instance.

  The last bell of the warm, April day sounded and Rae was glad to see the end of her junior year so close to completion. She grabbed her algebra book off the desk and headed for the door, eager to get to soccer practice. The coach told her the day before she’d be starting in the game that weekend – the first varsity game she’d start in and one of the last games of the year. It had been awhile since she’d been afforded that opportunity and she wanted to prove to him that she was worth the risk.

  She’d had a good run during freshman and sophomore year, but the varsity team brought together junior and senior players at the top of their game – not to mention an underclassmen or two with some extraordinary skills. She’d spent the majority of the season role-playing as the other team for the starters to practice against and was thrilled at the thought of being one of the first ones on the field, even if it would be just one game.

  She darted between fellow students as she fought her way to her locker and instant frustration set in when an unusually large crowd stood around her particular section. For some reason, the lights in the hallway had been turned off as well, and she got louder as she tried to squeeze through and get her backpack.

  “Excuse me,” she said, edging through the group. She stopped as she neared the center. The crowd had gathered in wait for her.

  In front of her stood her locker. The gray metal behemoth was adorned with neon pink letters, lit up in the darkened hallway. Carefully spelled out words asked her a question she didn’t need an invitation for.

  “Will you go to prom with me?”

  Next to her locker stood the man she’d fallen in love with time and time again. She stepped forward to meet him, and they embraced. No words were spoken because the answer was clear.

  The crowd erupted into cheers and claps, with each girl hoping for an invitation as romantic and each boy slightly agitated that he’d have to step up his game. She left the words on her locker to remind her, at least until the administrators made her take them down, that she was loved. And perhaps a little to show the greater high school population that she was loveable, too.

  “Becca, answer your phone!” Rae hissed into her smartphone. “I know you’re sitting wherever you are smirking. I’m coming back home immediately.”

  She ended the call and no sooner had she done so than the pink and black bedazzled rectangle began buzzing. A text lit up the screen and suddenly, Rae wanted to scream.

  “You’re not coming home. Your mom hid your license and you can’t get on the plane without identification. Well, you can, but it will take you days to figure out how and get what you need. See you next week! XOXO Becca”

  Chapter 10

  Friday, October 2

  “Gramps, toss me that bottle of glass cleaner please.”

  “I’m retired. I shouldn’t have to put forth that much effort.”

  “Then go home.” James laughed at the old man’s attempt to be grumpy. He hadn’t a cruel or unhappy bone in his body. He was more robust than most, and while he’d been a drinker and a smoker his entire life, he was healthier than most men his age.

  “Then who’s gonna also make sure you don’t ruin the family business?”

  “Not you if all you’re gonna do is sit there.”

  James and his grandfather had always been particularly close. From days spent fishing as a young boy to knowing his grandfather would be in the stands at every athletic game, he’d grown to love and depend on the man who had become a second father to him. James’ grandmother had died several years earlier which gave the old man ample time to spend with his grandson.

  “Gramps, can I ask you something?” James put aside the cleaner and folded his arms in preparation for a serious change in the conversation’s tone.

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “Rae’s back.”

  “Yep. For a weekend.”

  “What if she stays?”

  “We’re gonna do this again, boy?” Gramps noisily set his
paper on the counter and folded his own arms in protest.

  “I’m just starting a conversation. Looking for some advice.”

  “Do you want me to tell you the truth, or make up some sugar-coated lie that you think you want to hear?”

  “Gramps, all I’m asking is how I should handle this weekend.”

  “Son, I don’t think Rae will ever stay here in this little town. Her mama says she’s got a pretty big job up there in Chicago.”

  “This weekend, Gramps. What do I do for this weekend?”

  “I don’t quite understand what you’re asking me.”

  “How do I handle it?”

  “What is there to handle? I mean, you want a one-night stand, that’s none of my business, but you’re acting like you’re making some big life decisions. I thought that ship sailed a long time ago.”

  “It did. I don’t know. I just wonder how I handle being around her again. What if she’s happy? What if she’s not happy? She’s even prettier than the last time I saw her.”

  “What if her personality is uglier?” Gramps smiled.

  “Not possible. And beside the point. What do I say next time I see her? Our first conversation didn’t go so well.”

  “Well, what do you want to say?”

  “If I knew that, I wouldn’t be asking an eighty-seven-year-old man for advice on conversing with a former love.”

  “What you need to ask yourself first is what you are looking to get out of seeing her again.”