The Fighter

by Leslie Georgeson

  I cleared my throat. “My name is Anna. I’m Hazel’s nanny. Jacob needs help. Serious help. He told me to contact you and have you notify the other dregs. Please, tell them it’s urgent.”

  “Oh,” the voice said quietly. “Ok. I’ll get right on it. The radio is my locker. Class ends in five more minutes, so I’ll do it as soon as I can, okay? Where should I tell them to go?”

  “They know where we’re at. Thank you.”

  “Sure.” The young voice filled with concern. “Jacob’s a cool guy. Tell him I said hi.”

  “I will. Thanks.”

  I disconnected the call and went to wait for the other dregs to arrive. What would happen when they showed up?

  What would they do to Jacob?

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  Anna

  It was almost an hour later that the dregs showed up. Hazel and I were in the living room watching a children’s movie when they arrived. Though I didn’t normally like to sit Hazel in front of the television, right now my mind was in a turmoil and I wasn’t able to concentrate enough to keep her entertained, so letting her watch a show was easier.

  The dregs all entered the house with a somber air hanging around them. Even Tracker and Jessica came. Jessica hurried to my side, her gaze filled with worry.

  “I thought you left,” I murmured.

  She shook her head. “We decided to catch a few hours’ sleep before hitting the road. I’ll keep Hazel entertained while you talk to the dregs, okay?”

  I nodded. “Thank you.”

  The dregs all surrounded me. A big, muscular swarm of masculinity.

  “Tell us what happened,” Nate urged quietly.

  I swallowed hard, then began. “He took a nap after you guys left this morning. After lunch, I went to check on him. He didn’t answer when I knocked on his door, so I went in. I found him in the shower. He was crouched down, making this strange keening noise. I must have startled him, because he…” I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath, slowly exhaled.

  “Take your time.” The gentle words came from Noah, who eyed me with compassion.

  I nodded. “Thanks.” I cleared my throat. “I must have startled him, because he flew out of the shower and tripped me, knocking me backwards. Then he grabbed my foot and dragged me across the floor into the bedroom.” I hitched in a breath. “His eyes were wild. He didn’t recognize me. I know he didn’t mean to do it. He wasn’t Jacob any more. He was something else. His mind was somewhere else.” My eyes filled with tears and I blinked rapidly to clear them. “I knew then that I had to do something to save myself or he would hurt me. So I remembered the self-defense lessons he’d taught me and I twisted my legs around his, tripping him. Then I snatched up his cellphone, but he knocked it out of my hand and tackled me back on the floor.” My breath hitched again and I squeezed my eyes shut as the memory returned.

  A gentle squeeze on my upper arm urged me to open my eyes. Nate released me, his gaze gentle as he waited.

  “I tried to use the self-defense moves again, aiming for vulnerable areas but he deflected all my blows and captured my wrists. Then he…” I broke off, drew in another deep breath, slowly puffed it out. “Then he started to choke me. And he kept saying no more killing, no more death, why don’t you people leave me alone, I can’t do it anymore. Please, no more killing. Then he seemed to recognize me. He released me all of a sudden and fell back, pressing his palms into his eyes. So I scrambled over to him and hugged him and told him it was okay.” A sob burst out and I drew in several ragged breaths. “He said he was sorry. He didn’t mean to hurt me. He felt so bad. Then he kicked me out, told me to stay away from him. He said to call Tommy, that Tommy would get a hold of you guys for me.”

  Silence descended. I stared down at the floor, but I felt their eyes on me. All of them. I felt their sympathy. Their sadness. They didn’t blame me. Did they blame Jacob?

  “Where is he?” Ryan asked.

  “In his room still. He hasn’t come out. It’s the last door on the left at the end of the hallway.”

  Noah, Logan, Ryan, Luke, and Tracker all headed down the hallway. Nate and Tony stayed with me, watching me closely. I turned away from the hallway, afraid of what was about to happen. Would they blow the lock off the door and drag him out? Would he go willingly? Or would he fight?

  I tensed as I waited, but there were no gunshots, no door getting kicked open. Voices came down the hallway. Soft murmurs. Were they talking to him?

  I glanced up at Nate and Tony. “What are you guys going to do with him?”

  Nate sighed, his gaze turning sad. “What we should have done after Ralph died.”

  He and Tony exchanged a glance.

  “What’s that?” I asked, worry clenching at my gut. They wouldn’t hurt him, would they?

  “Be there for him,” Nate responded. “Like we should have done before. We’ll take care of him, Anna. You don’t have to worry. We’ll get him the help he needs.”

  I nodded, my eyes filling with tears again. “I’m scared for him.”

  Tony cleared his throat. “So are we.”

  The dregs all returned with Jacob, who was now fully dressed. There was a sadness about him, an air of defeat that made my heart pinch.

  Hazel glanced up, her eyes wide. “Where are you going, Daddy?”

  Jacob cleared his throat and moved to kneel in front of her where she sat next to Jessica on the couch. “I’m going away for a little while. Be good for Anna, okay?”

  What? He was leaving us? I thought for sure we would go with him. My heart squeezed. My throat clogged with emotion. Tears stung my eyes. I wanted to go with him. I wanted to help.

  Hazel nodded. “Will you bring me a surprise when you come back?”

  “Of course.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Then he headed toward the door with Noah and Logan.

  “Jacob?” I whispered. How could he just leave like this? Why wouldn’t he let me help somehow?

  He paused, but he didn’t turn to face me. The air hung heavy with regret. “I’m sorry, Anna. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I need help. I need to stay away from you until I get better. If taking care of Hazel is too much for you, I understand. I can…find someone else to watch her.”

  “No.” I grabbed his arm, tears streaming down my cheeks. “I’ll take good care of her, I promise. You take all the time you need. We’ll be waiting right here for you.”

  I flung my arms around him then, hugging him tight. I couldn’t let him leave without holding him one last time. He let out a quiet sob, slowly wrapping his arms around me, and hugged me back, burying his face in my hair.

  “I’m sorry,” he rasped. “I have to fix myself. I have to get rid of the demons. I have to make myself safe.”

  “Why can’t you let me help?”

  “Because I hurt you, and I can’t risk hurting you again.”

  We hugged for a long time, neither wanting to let go. Everyone moved away to give us some privacy.

  Finally, he set me away from him and lifted his hands to my shoulders. “Text me,” he whispered. “Send me pictures of Hazel and you. Can you do that?”

  I nodded, wiping at another tear.

  Jacob nodded at Noah, and moments later, he walked out with Noah and Logan.

  Silence stretched after they were gone. Tracker went over to the couch and sat next to Jessica. She whispered something to him, but I was too far away to hear what she said. He nodded, then settled back onto the couch next to her.

  Luke and Ryan approached, as did Nate and Tony, the four of them closing in around me. “Give us a few days with him,” Nate said. “We’ll help him purge his demons. If you need anything, just call or text. Someone can stay here with you if you’d like.”

  I shook my head. “No. We’ll be fine. Thanks.”

  Luke cleared his throat. “Ryan and I are heading out now.” He hesitated, his gaze direct as it held mine. “No one will blame you if you decide to leave. Honestly, I’m still
not sure if you’re strong enough to deal with Jacob’s issues.”

  “Oh, fuck that!” Tony snarled, scowling at Luke. “Jacob dragged her across the floor by her foot, then he tackled her and tried to strangle her. And what does she do? She fucking hugs him! She comforts him instead of running screaming and calling the cops! She forgives him because he wasn’t in his right mind. Does that sound like a weak woman to you?” He stepped in front of Luke, shoving his face into Luke’s, his gaze cold and hard.

  Tony was defending me? Tony?

  I glanced over at Jessica. Her eyes were wide with surprise, too. Even Tracker looked stunned.

  Luke shrugged. “I didn’t say she was weak. But the true test of her strength will be whether or not she sticks around long enough for Jacob to heal. Because it might take years. Or it might be never. How long is she willing to wait for him?”

  He strode for the door, glancing back at Ryan. “You coming?”

  Ryan nodded at me before striding for the door. “Take care, doll.”

  The door closed behind them.

  Tracker and Jessica exchanged a glance, then they both got up from the couch. Hazel continued to watch her movie, ignoring the adults around her.

  Jessica hugged me and said to call if I ever needed anything. I thanked her, then shook Tracker’s hand. Minutes later they too were gone.

  I turned back to Nate and Tony.

  “Jacob has a long road ahead of him,” Nate said. “I don’t know how long it will take for him to heal. The best thing for you to do is to continue to believe in him like you’ve been doing.” An earnestness filled his eyes. “I have no right to say this, but I have to. Please, Anna, don’t give up on him. If you do, I’m afraid he’ll give up, too.” He glanced at Tony, who nodded. “We should have been there for him before, but we weren’t. We failed him when he needed us most. And we’ll have to live with that. But we have the chance to be here for him now, and this time we’re not going to fuck it up. Maybe if we had been there for him the last time, he wouldn’t be so messed up right now.”

  I swallowed hard, fresh tears welling in my eyes. “It doesn’t do any good to dwell in the past. As long as we are all here for him now, that’s what’s important.”

  Nate cleared his throat and nodded. “If you need anything, call. If we don’t answer, call Tommy. He’ll reach us. Doesn’t matter what time of day or night it is. We’ll be here.”

  I thanked them and walked them to the door, then closed and locked it.

  Knowing that the dregs would always be here for us, and also making sure Jacob was okay, filled me with strength and determination. I would wait for Jacob. I would be here for him no matter how long it took.

  I would never abandon him.

  But what if he never got better? What then?

  What if I waited and waited and waited…

  And he never came home?

  CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

  Jacob

  My dreg brothers kept a close eye on me over the next several days. I knew from experience that the first few days were always the hardest. When I was awake, one or more of them were always around, engaging me in conversation or urging me to work out with them. When I was asleep, one of them stayed by my bed, ready to help with any nightmares. I was more dangerous in my fragile state, as I couldn’t seem to control my violent tendencies the way I normally could. Once the demons took hold, I was helpless to fight them off. The darkness continued to hover over me for days, an angry swirl of decay, tearing away at my soul.

  I spent a lot of time in the workout room that first week, purging the demons from my soul. The dregs had discovered that was the best therapy for us, sweating it out, beating it out of our systems. This was the dreg way. It was how we had dealt all those years while we were soldiers for The Company. The General didn’t believe in wasting money on psychiatric treatment, so we’d come up with a way to recover from the psychological trauma on our own. Beating the shit out of each other. Supporting each other. Talking with each other.

  It wasn’t foolproof. We were all still damaged inside. But it helped us control the demons. It helped keep us sane.

  I had several violent outbreaks that first week, attacking whoever was nearest to me. The darkness would hover over me, pulling me down, forcing flashbacks I didn’t want to remember. Fortunately, the other dregs were all ready for it, and I never managed to inflict much damage on anyone. I lashed out at them on numerous occasions, completely out of my mind, and at least twice it took three or more of them to take me down and get me under control.

  Whenever the demons became too strong, I would think of Anna, I would think of Hazel, and the darkness would slowly fade away. Thoughts of them helped keep me together.

  By the end of the first week, I was beginning to feel a distinct change in myself. The demons were slowly slipping away, the violent flashbacks gradually dissipating. I was getting better. I was purging the demons from my soul. I was fixing myself, making myself safe, so I could return to Anna and Hazel.

  The other dregs had done wonders for me. I had been an ungrateful ass when they’d wanted me to go back to the maze with them at first, too proud to admit I needed help. It had taken me hurting Anna before I admitted how far gone I was. I owed them all an apology. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know where I’d be right now.

  Anna sent me daily texts, pictures of Hazel and her. I went out of the maze for several hours each night, standing out in the silent forest, and read her texts, staring at the pictures she sent. I cherished those moments alone in the forest, wishing I was with them. Wishing I was holding them close. I missed them so much. I never responded to any of her texts. At this point, I didn’t feel worthy, not after what I’d done. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to forgive myself for hurting Anna. So I didn’t answer any of her texts. I wasn’t ready. I needed time to deal with my guilt first.

  Even though Kenny was dead and the Spartans had not made a reappearance, I was still a little anxious about leaving Anna and Hazel alone. So Noah replaced the broken cameras in my surveillance system so I could watch them on a regular basis, and the dregs took turns patrolling around the house at night, monitoring for any suspicious activity. So far, everything was calm and quiet at my home. Even so, I still checked the cameras every night, making sure my girls were safe. The only thing missing from the picture was me. And I was becoming painfully aware of that, the longer I was away.

  On the ninth day, I found myself out in the forest, alone, enjoying the peace and quiet of nature. And as I sat on the boulder, reading Anna’s text, missing her and Hazel, it finally dawned on me that I’d been going about this the wrong way. Pushing Anna away in my guilt had been the wrong thing to do. In the past, my partner Ralph had always been there to help me and I’d been there to help him. I didn’t have Ralph anymore, but I had Anna. I had Hazel. Anna was my partner now, my soulmate. Hazel was my flesh and blood, a mini me, a ghost of her own. Leaving them had been a mistake. I should have kept them close beside me to help me heal. How could I have turned away from the two most beautiful things in my life?

  I’d been too afraid to believe in myself. Too terrified that I would hurt them. I’d let my guilt dictate my actions.

  Anna had told me I needed to believe in myself, that my doubts were what kept me from healing. She was right. It was time I started to believe in myself.

  The other dregs had already helped me through the most difficult part of the recovery process. These past couple of days they’d put me through every situation that we believed might be a trigger for me, and I’d passed each one. I had control of the darkness now. I was not a danger to Anna or Hazel anymore. So why was I still here and not home with them?

  The guilt.

  I wasn’t sure if I could face Anna yet, not after what I’d done. It had been my stubbornness, my refusal to admit I was too dangerous to be around her that had caused me to ignore the truth. My pride had allowed me to hurt her when I should have stayed away from her, at least for a few days
while I purged the darkness from my soul.

  I needed Anna now, more than anything. I needed her touch, her bond, her closeness to help fix me the rest of the way. I would never be whole without Anna. And I needed Hazel’s presence, her innocence, her joy. I needed both of my girls to fully heal.

  You don’t deserve them.

  That was certainly true, but if I was going to get better, then I needed to believe in myself. I needed to let go of my guilt.

  I needed to go home.

  A sound from behind me had me rising from the boulder and spinning around. Nate and Tony approached, having just come up out of the maze.

  I nodded at them as they stopped before me.

  No one spoke for several moments, then I said, “I owe you guys an apology. All of you. I was a total ass when I should have listened to you. You’ve been a big help, and I really appreciate all you’ve done.”

  Tony snorted. “You’re not going to turn into a girl and start crying now, are you? Because if you do, I’m fucking out of here.”

  I chuckled, knowing he was only teasing.

  Tony flashed me a rare grin. “Just be grateful you have a woman like Anna who loves you, amigo. Though God only knows what that girl sees in you.”

  I choked out a laugh, not offended by his barbs. That was just Tony. “Yeah, she’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?”

  Tony grunted. “And why we’re on the subject, why are you still here? Why don’t you go home to her and Hazel? Fuck, man. You’ve got a family now. Go be with them.”

  Nate nodded his agreement with Tony’s words. “We don’t blame you, Jacob. You were going through a hard time. We should have been there for you before, but we weren’t. All’s forgiven, right?”

  I hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah.”

  Nate clapped me on the shoulder. “You should go home now. Be with your family.”

  My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out, glancing at the screen. Noah was calling. He and Logan were on patrol duty tonight, keeping an eye on the house.

  I swiped the screen. “What’s up?”