She hadn’t anticipated spending nearly two hours at the waffle house eating and talking. They might have stayed longer if some of the staff wasn’t giving them some funny looks. They finally took pity on them, Nathan paid the bill, and they left the restaurant.
Now she was following him through town to the academy where he promised to show her around while they waited for his first class to begin.
Butterflies flitted around in her stomach as they pulled into a parking lot and found spaces to park. It was ridiculous to be this nervous. After all, she’d performed in front of huge crowds many times in the past. This ought to be a cake-walk. Annoyed with herself, she tried to shove her nerves aside as she got out of her car.
Nathan told her about the academy and about Gregor, the man who owned it. Lynn noted the photos of individuals and classes that covered the walls inside while shelves proudly displayed trophies.
Nathan led the way to the front counter. He leaned over and nabbed a piece of paper while the woman behind the counter spoke to someone else on the phone. She shot Nathan a smile.
He handed the paper and a pen to Lynn. “Here, if you’ll fill this out, then we’ll have everything we need in case you decide to come back after today.”
The hopeful look on his face was adorable. It was almost enough to make Lynn commit to the class right now. “You’re very optimistic.”
“I try.” He cupped her elbow with a large hand. “If you’re good here, I need to go get a few things ready before class starts.”
All Lynn could do was nod. He squeezed her elbow slightly before moving away. It took her several moments to stop thinking about the way his touch had sent her pulse into a gallop.
When she’d finished filling out the form and handed it to the woman behind the counter, Lynn turned and made her way to the mats out on the floor.
There were several families already out there. Lynn was relieved to see she wasn’t the only individual to join as well.
Nathan held a clipboard and made several notes before looking up with a smile. “Good morning, everyone. I hope you all had a good week.” Several murmurs followed along with one young girl who announced that she lost a tooth. Nathan knelt down to see the new gap in her mouth and nodded appreciatively. “That’s awesome, Sarah.”
“Now I can do this!” The little girl stuck the tip of her tongue through the gap, eliciting chuckles all around.
Nathan gave her a high five, and she went back to stand with her family. “We have two people trying out the class today. Please welcome Vince,” he pointed to a guy who didn’t look the least bit nervous, “and Lynn.”
Lynn gave a little wave and what she hoped was a normal smile. Nathan’s gaze rested on her a moment longer before he started the class.
She had no idea what to expect from jiu-jitsu, but she was surprised that the first twenty minutes of the class was comprised of stretching and conditioning exercises. It made sense, especially considering how difficult some of them were. Lynn did her best to keep up with everyone else and thought she didn’t do too badly. Only once did Nathan have to stop by and help her correct her form.
Once they’d finished warming up, Nathan explained what they’d been doing last week. He called up another guy to demonstrate the hold. Lynn worried about who she would be sparring with until Nathan paired her with another woman. She ignored the one-part disappointment mixed with the three-parts relief that she wouldn’t be sparring with Nathan.
Even then, Lynn felt awkward and uncoordinated as she tried to figure out the hold. At one point, Nathan came over to them.
“You’re doing great, Lynn, but you need to put your arm on the other side. Like this.” He placed a hand on her arm and showed her where it should be positioned.
The whole time, Lynn willed herself not to blush, although she was certain her face was already red from exertion. Her lighter complexion and the ease with which she blushed was one of the things she’d always hated growing up.
She’d since learned how to control her reactions better. Except, apparently, when she was in Nathan’s presence.
With the help of her partner, she tried to follow his directions and got a nod of approval. Hopefully she wasn’t making a complete fool of herself.
~*~
Lynn had clearly never participated in any form of martial arts. Nathan could tell she was trying just as hard as anyone else, though, and saw improvement in that first class. If she decided to sign up for his class, he was certain she could pick things up quickly.
He stopped to help her and Jasmine several times as they practiced holds. Every time he spoke directly to Lynn, she maintained eye contact just enough to get directions before she was focusing on the exercise or hold itself. He wasn’t sure if she was that intent on his instructions, or if she was nervous around him. That last possibility intrigued him.
They finished the lesson. Once he’d answered questions from other students, he moved to speak with Lynn. “You did great out there. Are you considering signing up for next week?”
She hesitated. “I’m not sure. I thought about seeing if a friend from work might be interested in coming with me.” Her cheeks reddened, and she seemed to find a worn spot on the floor particularly interesting. “Then again, I might be better off getting a taser or some pepper spray. Or maybe a nice, metal baseball bat to carry around with me.”
Lynn smiled, but there was something in her eyes that hinted she might be speaking some truth. He ought to laugh at her attempt to joke, but his instincts insisted he address what she wasn’t quite saying.
“Are you trying to be cautious in general? Or is there something—or someone—you feel like you need to be ready to defend yourself against?”
She shrugged and jabbed a thumb at the door. “I should probably go and let you get to your next class.”
Nathan had grown up an expert at skirting around the issues right in front of him. He knew avoidance when he saw it. He reached out and touched her upper arm, effectively halting her escape. “Lynn…”
She glanced around as though afraid she might be overheard. “It’s silly. There was someone, but it’s been years.” Her voice caught. She swallowed and took a moment before continuing. “I know I’m being neurotic. I should let it all go, but it’s hard to quit looking over my shoulder.”
Those very shoulders sagged a little as an air of defeat crossed her features.
He motioned to her. “Follow me.” He led her to the break room. Thankfully, no one was using it currently so they had the small space to themselves. He wished he knew what had happened to Lynn in the past. Had someone hurt her? Abused her? The very thought had anger boiling in his gut. Nathan would love to see the guy walk into the building right now.
He sat on the edge of the table in the center of the room. “You don’t have to tell me about it. I imagine people have insisted that you need to let go and move forward. In some ways, they’re right. It’s easy to let the past grab onto us and keep us from enjoying anything else that might come our way.” His jiu-jitsu instructor back in the day had told him much the same thing. “At the same time, it’s impossible to forget what happened. Things like that change you.” Their situations were different, but he knew full well how true his words were.
Lynn seemed to relax a little and only offered him a small nod. “I hate that it changed me, but I’m not sure I can ever fully shake it.”
Nathan had to make a point of not trying to imagine what might have happened to her. Whatever it was, it had affected her completely, and saddened him. “Don’t expect yourself to. Just move forward. That’s all we can really do.”
She nodded again and watched him for several moments. “Something tells me you’re speaking from experience.”
He didn’t usually open up about his past, but the vulnerability in her eyes had him quickly relenting. “Let’s just say I wouldn’t wish my memories of my parents on my enemies. It was enough to either make you never want to have kids of your own, or swear you’ll be a bette
r parent. My brother, Chess, went the first direction until he met and fell in love with Brooke. I guess I’ve always felt the opposite.”
“You’re a great dad to Mia, Nathan. She’s lucky to have you.”
Her words settled over his heart like a warm blanket. “I appreciate that.” Nathan glanced at his watch. “I need to get out there for my next class, but if you ever need to talk, I hope you know I’m here.” He paused. “I do hope you’ll invite your friend to class. It’d be great to see you both here. Two weeks from today, of course, since next Saturday is the wedding.”
Lynn laughed at that, and the sound swirled around them like a beautiful strain of music. Nathan was glad to see her smiling again.
“Of course. And I’ll ask her, but I won’t make any promises.”
“I can live with that.” He winked at her as he pulled the door open again and let her go through ahead of him. “I guess I’ll see you on Monday. Maybe we can manage to run into each other somewhere for dinner this week.” He turned to face her just in time to see a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
“Maybe so. Have a good weekend, Nathan. Thanks again for breakfast.”
“Anytime.”
He watched as she walked out. He was disappointed she hadn’t committed to the class, but encouraged by the fact she hadn’t completely shot down his suggestion of having dinner again soon.
~*~
Jeb threw some clothes into a duffel bag and zipped it up. He mentally ran through a list of the things he might need over the next week or two. Confident he had the important things packed, he tossed the duffel bag by the front door and sat at his computer again.
For the tenth time that evening, he studied the photo that had been posted to social media. There was no doubting it was Bethany. She looked like she’d gained a few pounds, but that profile—he’d know it anywhere.
Someone had spotted her at a waffle house in Fort Worth. He’d already contacted the person and sent a private message asking which waffle house it was. They still hadn’t answered.
That was okay. They had time as he drove from his small place in Tennessee.
Jeb called to let his brother, who also happened to be his boss, know he’d be taking a few days off work. His brother wasn’t exactly thrilled, but since Jeb owned a portion of their father’s business, there wasn’t a lot more that could be said.
Besides, he had more important things to think about. He’d leave for Fort Worth as soon as he finished getting ready.
A slow smile spread across his face. “Don’t worry, Bethany. We’ll see each other again soon.”
Chapter Six
“So how was it?” Sharon’s eyes glittered with curiosity as she stood in a room full of moving people, patiently waiting for Lynn’s response.
Lynn glanced at the crowd of churchgoers around them. Granted, they were all busy picking kids up from their classes or heading out to whatever they planned for the rest of their Sunday. They likely didn’t have time to listen to whatever Lynn might tell her friend. Still…
She hooked Sharon’s arm with her own and led her outside where they had more privacy. By the time they got there, Sharon was laughing. “You are such a mess. Maybe I was referring to the part of the church service when I had to step out to go to the bathroom.”
“You don’t really expect me to believe that, do you?” Lynn scanned the area around the church, confident that no one had noticed their presence. “Isn’t your husband going to come looking for you?”
“He volunteered to help clean up today. We’ve got at least half an hour to visit.” Sharon gave her a look that proved just how proud she was of herself. “Come on, my curiosity is killing me. What was Nathan like? How was breakfast? Did you go to one of his classes?”
Sharon’s honest interest meant Lynn couldn’t stay annoyed with her friend for long.
“He was a perfect gentleman. He bought my breakfast and opened up about his family.” Regret collided with guilt as she thought about how kind he’d been. “And here I haven’t even told him who I really am. What does that say about me?”
“It says things are complicated.” Sharon’s eyes softened as she looked at Lynn. “Nathan’s a single dad with a little girl. It sounds like his past is pretty complicated, too. I’m betting he’d understand if you told him everything.”
“Maybe. Probably.” Lynn had gone through the whole scenario in her head more times than she could count. “But if he doesn’t, then either he won’t have someone to watch Mia at the wedding, or it’s going to be really awkward between us. Waiting until afterward to tell him about everything makes the most sense.”
Lynn couldn’t tell whether Sharon agreed with her or not. Sharon was always one to express an opinion when she needed to, but she was also good about staying quiet and letting Lynn think through things on her own. Something Lynn always appreciated.
And she’d had a lot to think about since she last spoke with Nathan.
“Sounds like things were a mess for him growing up. Yet, here he is with a great family and a sweet daughter.” She’d already shared some about the dinner with him and his family and how put together they seemed. Lynn shrugged. “I guess I’m a little in awe of how he went through all that and didn’t let it completely mess up his life.”
“Insinuating that you did?” Sharon was already shaking her head. “You know that’s not true.”
“I know it’s not true, but I don’t usually feel that way.” The church crowd was beginning to thin a little, so Lynn led the way to a small bench underneath one of the large oak trees. The women sat down. “It sounds like Nathan looked high and low for his brother, never truly giving up on the search even years later.” Tears pricked at the back of Lynn’s eyelids, and she tried to blink them away. She swallowed hard against a lump forming in her throat. “I know my parents gave up on me years ago. But by no longer trying, it’s as though I’ve given up on Perry.” She pictured her little sister and that was enough to send a tear cascading down her cheek. “What kind of person does that make me? What does she think of me?”
Sharon laid her Bible down on the bench beside her. “First of all, from everything you’ve told me, it sounds like Perry has way too many great memories of the two of you together to allow distance to wash them away.”
Lynn nodded, hoping her friend was right. She and Perry had such a fun time growing up together, and had a special bond that even her parents didn’t have with Perry. Lynn hoped her sister held onto those wonderful childhood memories as much as she did.
“And secondly,” Sharon nudged Lynn’s arm with her own, “just because you stayed away like your father demanded doesn’t mean that will always be the case. Maybe things have changed.”
Lynn seriously doubted it. But maybe Sharon was right. Maybe staying away wasn’t the answer anymore. She sniffled. When Sharon handed her a tissue, she discreetly blew her nose. “Do you think I should try to see Perry?” Was it possible for her to reconnect with her family? If Nathan and Chess could form a new relationship after being separated for years, and if Chess, Brooke, and Joel could form a family of their own when they had none before, surely her own biological family had a chance.
“I wish I had an answer for you, Lynn. I don’t think anything about your family situation is simple. But if you pray about it and give it some time, you’ll feel led one way or another.”
“Yeah.” She’d wished so often throughout her life that God would’ve given her a road map. She could’ve avoided so many potholes. But then, if things hadn’t happened the way they had, she wouldn’t know Sharon now. Or Nathan and Mia. “Why does life have to be so complicated sometimes?”
“I sure wish I knew.” Sharon put an arm around Lynn’s shoulders. “Can I pray for you?”
Lynn nodded. As Sharon began to pray, asking for guidance not only with regards to Perry, but Nathan as well, Lynn allowed the tears to fall.
Even if God didn’t hand out road maps, at least He’d never failed to travel lif
e’s paths with her. Things would work themselves out—they had to.
~*~
What made Lynn think this was a good idea? She mentally grasped for the peace she’d felt after Sharon prayed for her yesterday.
But now it was Monday, and the further the day progressed, the more nervous she was about her decision to drive to her parents’ house. She’d nearly backed out. After all, no one but Sharon even knew she was going to go. But Lynn knew that the moment she let the opportunity pass her by, she’d regret it.
Monday evening probably wasn’t the best time to drive the hour and a half each way. But once her decision was made, she knew that prolonging the implementation of her plan would only mean ample time to change her mind. She needed to do this now.
As the minutes and the miles ticked by, she wondered what her parents would think. They hadn’t welcomed her attempts to go home before. What made this any different? She could only hope and pray that the last two years had changed them as much as they had changed her.
Lynn intentionally loosened her grip on the steering wheel allowing blood to flow back into her knuckles. “I have no idea what I’m even supposed to say to them,” she prayed. “Please give me the words. And please soften their hearts. I’ve already missed so much in Perry’s life, I don’t want to miss any more.”
Would Perry be excited to see her? Or had it been so long that Lynn’s little sister would take on her bashful demeanor?
The thought of Perry not wanting to give her a hug had Lynn fighting back tears.
This was definitely a horrible idea. The last thing she needed was to have to drive back home, in the dark, while crying. No, it was too late to turn back now.
She’d always wonder if her parents would’ve turned her away again. Wonder if they wouldn’t have and she’d missed her chance to talk to her sister again. Lynn could imagine an amazing reunion with Perry, but she couldn’t imagine reconnecting with her parents. Oh sure, miracles could happen. But it would take just that—a miracle.
Starting Anew (Life Unexpected Book 3) Page 5