Laura brought her glass to her lips. Sam was keeping her from getting her life together, and as much as Laura wanted to move on, seeing her again brought back all those memories she’d desperately been trying to ignore.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jenny asked, taking Laura away from her thoughts.
“What? No,” she said in a rush. “Sorry. I just mean that there’s nothing to talk about. It was a long time ago.”
“Okay,” Jenny said with a shrug as she took a drink. “She’s been staring at you since we got here.”
“She has?”
Jenny nodded. “Are you sure she’s not your ex?”
“She’s not. I mentored her, years ago. And we had… A few intense moments.”
“Was she underage or something?”
“No. But she is fifteen years younger than me,” Laura reached for her drink again. “We don’t need to talk about this though.”
“Well, I did mean it when I asked you if we could be friends. It’s not easy doing this at our age. All of my friends have settled down. I thought I’d settled down,” Jenny said with a laugh.
“I know.”
“So, what happened?”
Laura sighed. “I was married. I’d been attracted to women before. Friends in college, people I’d worked with… But with Sam, it was different. There was just this instant connection. Nothing happened for months, but then one night… She kissed me.”
“Wow.”
“And it was like I could finally see… I know it probably sounds dramatic, but she really made me realize who I was. I knew I had to leave my husband. She practically begged me to, and I told her I would, but I guess I took too long. And then she was gone.”
“Gone?”
“She left the country.”
“What?” Jenny asked, leaning forward.
“I had no idea at first. I thought she was ignoring me, but I eventually found out that she’d left… For the foreseeable. Then she just shows up, now, ten years later. She was at a wedding I was doing, and she tried to talk to me but… I couldn’t. I was in shock. I didn’t know how to react. Tonight’s the third time I’ve seen her since she’s been back.”
“What did she want when she came over?”
“She thought I was still married,” Laura said as she finished her drink. “So, she wasn’t impressed that I was out on a date with you. But I told her that I’d gotten a divorce.”
“Okay. So, are you going to go for it this time?”
Laura took a deep breath. “What’s the point? I’m sure she’s leaving. She’s a travel photographer. I can’t let myself fall for her. Again.” She could see Jenny’s eyes shift to Sam’s table. “I don’t regret what happened. I’m just ready to start over. That’s what I’ve been trying to do anyway.”
Jenny nodded. “I have an idea,” she said as she stood up and put on her jacket, slinging her handbag over her shoulder.
“Okay…?”
Laura mirrored her actions and followed her outside. She was about to ask Jenny what she was doing when she noticed Sam and her sister leave through the other door. They were standing a few feet away.
Laura wished she had the guts to go over and talk to her, but she remembered Jenny was standing beside her. “So, what was your idea?” she asked as she turned to face Jenny, but she took a step back when she realized how close Jenny was. She was right there, her hand finding hers and interlacing their fingers. “Jenny…”
“Shhh. Just kiss me,” Jenny whispered as her eyes fluttered shut, and she leaned in to brush her lips across Laura’s.
Laura froze for a second, but when Jenny’s hand left hers and cupped her cheek, she knew what Jenny was doing. She was helping Laura. Why? She didn’t know, but she was trying to make Sam jealous.
Laura parted her lips against Jenny’s, tasting the wine on her lips as she kissed her back. Jenny’s hand was warm on her cheek, and for a brief moment, she lost herself in the kiss, but as she pulled away to meet Jenny’s eyes, she knew they were both just pretending.
“Why are you helping me?” Laura whispered.
“I like you, and that girl deserves to suffer for a bit,” Jenny said with a smile tugging at her lips. “Come on,” she said, leading them towards one of the taxis that was parked outside the bar. “She might as well think we’re going to spend the night together, too.”
Laura got into the back of the cab, using every bit of willpower she could muster not to look back at Sam.
“Where do you live?” Jenny asked. “We can drop you off first.”
Laura gave the driver had address. “Thank you,” she said to Jenny. She could barely see her in the darkness, but she could see her lips move into a smile.
“No problem. I hope I didn’t cross a line. When I saw them getting ready to leave, I thought we could get out ahead of them and put on a bit of a show.”
“Why are you single?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Laura smiled as the driver turned down her windy road. “I think you’re right. We should definitely be friends.”
Chapter Nine
Sam reached for the to-go coffee cup as she steered her rental car with her left hand, following Michelle’s Range Rover through the familiar winding roads. She took a sip, glad to have something warm in her hand.
When Michelle had called her this morning to tell her about a possible rental, Sam had agreed to viewing it before she’d said another word. She didn’t really care where it was or how many bedrooms it had. She just needed to get out of her house. She knew her mother had missed her over the years, but she felt like she was being smothered. She needed her own place.
Sam leaned forward as Michelle pulled onto a dirt road that must have been the driveway. A crooked black mail box with the number thirty-two painted on it was the only indication that there was a house somewhere up this road. Sam followed Michelle through the woods, the road getting steeper the further they went.
Sam was about to rule this place out before she even saw it, but then the forest cleared, revealing a log cabin with a deep green door and a wraparound porch. Sam parked her car behind Michelle’s and got out, bringing her coffee with her.
“I know it’s a bit remote,” Michelle said as closed her car door. “But it is a lovely house.”
“It looks like it.”
“Now, before you get too attached, I said it was an unusual situation. The owners are currently in Florida looking for their retirement home, and they don’t plan on coming back to sell this cabin until they’ve found somewhere. So that could be a month from now or six months from now. I have no way of knowing.”
“So, I could rent this place casually until they’re ready to sell it?” Sam asked as they walked towards the steps.
“Yes. It would be a very informal arrangement. They hadn’t even thought about renting it to anyone, but I suggested it when I knew you were looking for somewhere. I reminded them of the harsh winters they were trying to leave behind, and that it would be good to have someone living here, lighting the fire and maintaining it.”
“Wow, thanks Michelle,” Sam said while Michelle unlocked the door, somewhat taken aback by her thoughtfulness.
“Well, I knew I could vouch for you, and this weird arrangement seemed like it would suit you.”
“It does,” Sam said as she followed Michelle into the house. Her eyes were drawn to the stone fireplace that dominated the open planned living room kitchen area. The floors were covered in a beige carpet with large slate tiles in the kitchen.
“So, have a look around. It isn’t that big. There’s two bedrooms down stairs and the loft is where the master bedroom is.”
Sam wandered through the living room, taking a peak out the back window where there was a huge stack of split logs against the garage. The cabin was really in the middle of the woods with the line of trees only a few yards away. The kitchen was typical country chic with cream colored cabinets, and Sam had seen more than enough to convince her that
she would be happy here, for however long.
“It’s perfect,” Sam said as she came back into the living room. The brown leather couches looked well-worn with a rustic wooden coffee table in front of them.
“Really? That’s great. Are you sure you’re okay with not knowing how long you’ll be able to stay?”
“I don’t have much stuff, so as long as you give me a few days’ notice, it’ll be fine.”
“Alright,” Michelle said as she let Sam lead them out. “I’ll get in touch with the owners, and you should be able to move in right away.”
“Great. Thanks Michelle.”
“No problem. I’ll be in touch.”
Sam got in her car and headed back down the narrow driveway. She wondered what would happen when they got any significant snowfall. She’d probably be housebound. She’d worry about that when the time came. Right now, this was exactly what she needed.
She was still trying to wrap her head around the idea that Laura was divorced. That was what she wanted more than anything when she lived here, but Laura was seeing someone else now, so Sam didn’t really feel like celebrating.
When Sam and Natalie left the bar last weekend, she couldn’t take her eyes off Laura. Sam knew she was on a date, but she still felt sick when she saw that woman kiss her. That could have been her, if she hadn’t run away. If she’d just waited…
Sam gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. Thinking things through and having a bit of patience had never been her style though. She preferred spontaneity bordering on recklessness. Sam sighed as she pulled out onto the main road. She was nearly thirty, and she was no closer to having her shit together than she was when she was nineteen.
Laura wasn’t married.
She still couldn’t believe it. She does have a girlfriend though, and Sam couldn’t stop herself from wondering how serious it was.
The way Laura had looked at her… Whatever they had back then, it was still there.
Sam was going to stick around this time. Natalie had gotten her a job bartending at the hotel. She was only filling in when they were stuck, but it would keep her busy. Tonight, she had her first shift. She didn’t need the money. She just wanted to stay busy. Living in Southeast Asia had allowed her to build up a stash.
The next thing on her to-do list was to buy a car. The rental had been fine when she thought she’d only be here for a week or two, but now that Sam was planning on staying, she’d get her own car.
Natalie had definitely been surprised when Sam said she wanted a job. Why wouldn’t she be? Once Sam had left, she’d never hinted even once that she’d be coming back, never mind staying for any length of time. She didn’t know how long she would hang around for. Long enough to know whether or not Laura was still interested in her.
Sam tried to imagine calling this part of the world home again. As she drove, it was like going back in time. Rust colored leaves fell from the trees, a few sticking to her windscreen for a second before they flew off.
She’d kissed Laura for the first time eleven years ago. They’d been hiking through the woods, red and orange leaves swaying to the ground all around them. They’d stopped at a lookout, and all they could see for miles was the crimson and gold foliage. It was a beautiful day, the air crisp, reminding them that winter wasn’t far away.
Sam had turned to tell Laura that she’d wished she’d had her camera with her, but Laura wasn’t looking at the view. She was staring at her, and Laura’s eyes gave her away.
Sam had forgotten about what she was going to say. She didn’t ask Laura why she was looking at her and not the view, and Sam didn’t dare look away either. It was the moment she’d been waiting weeks for.
Sam had caught Laura looking at her like that before, but the timing hadn’t been right. They weren’t alone or they’d been working. That day, Sam knew she couldn’t pass up the opportunity.
Sam’s hand found Laura’s, interlacing their fingers as she took a step forward. Sam brushed away Laura’s blond hair from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear as she leaned in, finding Laura’s lips in a soft kiss. Sam half expected Laura to push her away, but she reached up to cup her cheek instead, parting her lips against Sam’s.
She didn’t know how long that kiss had lasted, but she had savored every second of it. Sam had been drawn to Laura from the start, when she’d used her charm to get Laura to take her on and be her mentor for a few months. She couldn’t remember a time when she hadn’t been attracted to her, but after spending so much time together, Sam had fallen for her somewhere along the way.
That kiss had stayed with Sam over the years even though there had been far more passionate moments after that day. That had been the start of it though.
Sam pulled into her mother’s driveway. She’d been so lost in her own thoughts that she barely remembered the short trip back. She turned off the car and got out. At least it looked like she had a place to live now. Hopefully, Michelle would get back to her later on today with confirmation that she could move in.
All she’d have to do is pack up her suitcase again. She’d become a minimalist out of necessity. She had more camera gear than clothes, but that was the way she liked it.
Chapter Ten
The leaves crunched underneath Laura’s feet as she took a few more candid shots of the bride and groom. They were waiting for the bridesmaids and groomsmen to join them down by the lake for a few more photos, and Laura lifted her camera to her face to get a few photos of the happy couple laughing in the distance.
Laura slung her camera over her shoulder and rubbed her hands together before blowing on them. In the last few days it had really started to feel like winter was on the way even though the foliage was still stunning. She’d gotten some fantastic photos with the newly married couple standing in front of the lake, the fiery colored leaves reflected back in the calm water.
Laura closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. There was something about this time of year. It was when she’d started to fall for Sam, and even though that was eleven years ago, Laura had a hard time thinking of anything else when she was out in the woods like this.
Their first kiss had come as a shock to her. They’d been hiking for more than an hour, not that far from here. The path took them deeper into the forest, and they’d stopped to take in the view of the mountains in the distance. It was the first time they’d really spent any time together outside of work, and it had been Laura’s idea.
She liked being around Sam, and at the time it seemed innocent enough, but when Sam had caught her looking at her, she knew it was anything but innocent.
The way Sam had looked at her in that moment… Laura didn’t think she’d ever forget it. Sam had held her gaze, and the next thing Laura knew, Sam’s lips were brushing across her own.
For once in her life, Laura didn’t think. She just kissed her back. It was a soft kiss, but there was so much emotion behind it. Sam’s fingers were interlaced with her own, and Laura had cupped her cheek, wanting to be as close to her as possible.
Laura could remember that moment as if it happened yesterday. That was the first time she’d ever kissed another woman. Yes, she’d been attracted to women, but it was the first time that she’d ever acted on that attraction. Well, technically, Sam had been the one to initiate the kiss. Laura wouldn’t of. Not then anyway.
Laura shook her head as she finally opened her eyes. At that point, she’d been mentoring Sam for almost six months. Laura never would have found the courage to kiss Sam. She had been married, and she had no intention of cheating.
She’d never really given a name to the feelings she’d had over the years for other women, but when things started with Sam, she couldn’t ignore it any longer. That kiss and all the others that followed in the next few months had woken Laura up to the startling realization that she was gay.
She wasn’t bi. She wasn’t pansexual. She’d married Anthony, her best friend, hoping that she’d eventually feel all of those things that she was supposed
to feel, but hearing Anthony turn the key in the front door never made her heart flutter. His voice never made her skin tingle.
Laura had felt more as Sam’s soft lips met hers than she had in her entire life. The kiss had been brief, but it had started a fire deep within Laura that still burned today.
Laura thought she was surely seeing things when Sam had said her name at that wedding. Laura had turned to see the woman she’d always thought was beautiful, but now at nearly thirty, she was absolutely stunning. Every time she saw her since she’d mysteriously reappeared a few weeks ago, Laura had to give herself a mental pep-talk, telling herself to breathe. The effect that woman had on her was something else.
The royal blue dresses caught her attention out of the corner of her eye, and Laura made her way back down to the oak tree that stood at the edge of the lake where the bride and groom were chatting with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Laura got them lined up, pressing the shutter as she instructed them to turn for the next few shots. She got into the zone, momentarily forgetting about Sam, but on the walk back to the hotel, she couldn’t stop herself from wondering about the timing.
Sam was back now. Not five years ago when she was still married. Sam was back, and Laura was not only single but out.
Could things be different this time?
Laura had been the one to put on the brakes back then and as hard as it was, that had been the right thing to do. Not only was she married, but Sam was only nineteen. Her age had been almost as much of a problem as being married was. That fifteen year age gap was still there, but somehow it didn’t seem as important now.
In the months that followed that first kiss, they’d had plenty of heated moments, and it had taken every bit of Laura’s willpower not to give in. She never did though. They’d never slept together. They’d come close more than once, and Laura was the one who insisted they wait.
Laura ran her hand over her face. She’d asked Sam to be patient, to let her get through the holiday season before she asked Anthony for a divorce. Laura had told her that she’d leave him, but January came and went, followed by February and March, until Sam gave her an ultimatum in April.
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